Disclaimer: I don't own Princess Mononoke or Sofricus Aurora Zakuro... she's my friend
Ashitaka pulled his mask up over his face and started forward again.
He spotted some men down on the shore of the lake. Next to him, Kohroku called, "It's me! Helloooo!"
By the lake, one of the men peered at them, "Someone's come out of the woods." His friend gazed up and asked stupidly, "Is it the wolf girl?"
Suddenly, russanodrey and her friend Sofricus Aurora Zakuro popped out of nowhere. They were each holding a spork in one hand and a Poptart in the other. A logo on their chests depicted a spork laid crosswise over a Poptart.
Both sprang forward and stabbed the man through the heart with their sporks of Justice, then conked the dying man over the head with their pastries.
The pair turned to Ashitaka and the others. "Another mission completed by the Poptart and Spork Patrol!" Sofricus Aurora Zakuro proclaimed. Russanodrey shook her bloody spork at them, "Let this be a lesson to you. Don't be stupid!" Both vanished.
All stared at the dead man for a minute. Kohroku scratched his head, "What's a spork?" Ashitaka looked baffled, "And what's a Poptart?"
Author's Note: I hated that guy… it almost ruined the movie for me. Could San disguise herself as an elk, a man with two broken limbs, and another man carrying a wounded man? I THINK NOT! Credit to Sofricus Aurora Zakuro for helping me…