Title: A cursed Fox
Disclaimer: You recognize I don't own ... the only thing I own is my plot, my ego, my dog, and my pen.
IRS MAN: I'm sorry but for tax purposes we are taking your pen and shaving half of your dog
Author: WHAT? GOD WHY ME?
GOD: Blame karma...
Karma: Blame Fate
FATE: I just don't like you...
Author: (Uses Gaze of Death) Go to hell!
Next day...
Author: Have you ever had one of those days where you try to do something nice and everyone bites your head off? Happens to me constantly...
Editor: Today's just not your day is it?
Author: I sentence you to the curse... of eternal virginity!
Editor: you can't do that!
Author: yes I can, in here I... am... God!
Editor: NO YOU'RE NOT!
Author: HERITIC! (Flash fry's Editor) Great now I need a new editor...Now on with the story!
Summery: Naruto starts the ninja academy and meets a group of demons worse than anyone thought possible...the dreaded fangirls...
Chapter 5: Emo Avengers and annoying fangirls
For story purposes the story line got a four-year increase to the week Naruto joined the academy...
"DAMNIT NARUTO!" Once again like in every other chapter before now Kakashi was pissed. Even though He had the Mind of a 16-year-old in the body of a 6-year-old it didn't stop Naruto from pulling pranks on his brother Kakashi... Ahh good times, good times...Anyway this latest prank involved Naruto switching the covers of Kakashi's Icha Icha paradise with a gay porno... It didn't help that Kakashi didn't notice until five minutes after he started "reading"... God it's a good thing Naruto got a five-minute head start. It just didn't help after Kakashi had summoned his nin-dogs to track him down. And so were left off with Naruto running down the main street of Kohona with Kakashi and his nin-dogs following close behind...
"Come on, almost there..." and just as Naruto hit a clearing, he turned and put his hands in a all to familiar seal... "KAGE BUNSHIN NO JUTSU!" Naruto Yelled. "Nice try Naruto It wont work..." Kakashi formed the same seal and… "Kage Bunshin no jutsu (Kakashi style)" And of course a huge number of clones surrounded Naruto's clones "what are you going to do Now Naruto-chan" Kakashi taunted "At first I was going to go easy on you now your going to pay!" "Yeah right what are you goi-" but Kakashi was cut off by Multiple cries of "Kyu-chan Haremu No jutsu!" The results were devastating every one of Naruto's clones turned into a seductive, flushed, and naked version of Kyu-chan. Each copy took a seductive pose and practically moaned "What were you going to do to me Kakashi-sama?" And if you thought the nosebleed in chapter three was bad. This one made it look like a drop of water. As every clone of Kakashi seemed to convert every drop of fluid in their body to blood then shot it out their nose before exploding in a puff of smoke. Other males who were watching the chase had to be taken to the hospital for blood loss. Hell even a few women passed out from blood loss And while the clones and old men were busy getting killed by perversion the real Kakashi was running to the hospital still loosing blood with the image of the jutsu burned into his eyes. (It was a big mistake for him to pull out the sharingan...)
Later that day... Around 11:00 at night
"Naruto your grounded!" yelled both Tsunade and Jiraiya "WHAT?" "Your grounded because you managed to pants all the villagers, paint the Hokage monument, and less not forget
"You know your not allowed to use any perverted jutsu, especially those that look like me!" screamed Kyu-chan. "don't worry Ill take him to his room" said Jiraiya. After all A super pervert father has to look at his prankster/pervert son... In truth after Dear old dad congratulated him on his defeat of Kakashi for the 50th time Naruto was already half asleep Its too bad Naruto Didn't hear his father remind him that he had his first day of the academy tomorrow... oh well.
"SHIT! WHY DIDNT ANYONE TELL ME I HAVE ONLYAN HOUR TO GET TO CLASS!" The morning for naruto was a blur as he ran around the house did the usual mornig things then grabing his gear and usual outfit. His usual outfit looks like kakashi's except he wears two kunai and shuiken holders on each leg with blood red training weights. On his arms he had two scroll holders plus a knife hidden on his waist, and since he still didn't have aKohona headband he was wearing a orange bandana which had a fox on it. Insteadof having a vest like kakashi naruto wore a short sleeve trench coat likeThe ANBU interagatorIkibi.which like every other piece of clothingNaruto owned was loaded with weights. In all he had to be wearing at least five hundred pounds it didnt help now that he was late.
"SHIT, SHIT, SHIT ONLY TEN MINUTES TO GET TO CLASS!"
As you can guess Naruto was very late. I don't think it mattered considering he used Shunshin no jutsu (Body flicker technique) the only problem was he never mastered the jutsu and went to the other side of town which was 30 minutes from the academy. So instead of using jutsu he decided to do some thing worse his element surfing technique... Naruto jumped to the top of the nearest building, focused chakra to his feet and took a running jump shot off the edge of the building "Isonami: Fuuton!"(Surfing: air release) And there was a number off startled gasps as the Kyuubi container was seen shooting threw the air looking like he was using roller blades. In less than three minutes he was at the academy... the only problem was he never learned how to stop when using the technique so... he did the next best thing...
He went threw the open window
Now to say the class was impressed was one thing ...to say that all of the girls had hearts in their eyes and were considering starting fan clubs was another... But when I say both the teacher Iruka and Sasuke Uchiha were pissed I tell you no lie... "UZAMAKI DETENTION!" Iruka Screamed. Naruto just shrugged and asked in a calm but venomous voice. "What for?" with those two words every guy Sasuke included felt like their worlds were about to fall apart... It didn't help after Naruto put a hand behind his back in a seal and muttered "Kin Nikuyoku no jutsu" It was at that point that every girl in the whole building felt a need to go to one area the exact spot Uzumaki Naruto was standing...
IT was absolute chaos...
It started as a slow rumble then it turned into a dull roar as at least a hundred girls from 6-13 shot straight at Naruto all attempting to grab him. "Oh shit! I put to much chakra in it!" And for the first half of the day the teachers tried to get control as A total of seven fan clubs opened all hero worshiping Naruto... (Sasuke lost most of his fangirls that day) and if fan clubs weren't bad enough there was also the fan girls themselves or the Fanboys ...(AHHHHHH!)
Despite the traumatizing assaults from the fanboys ("Thank you kage bunshin!") and the make out sessions with his fangirls the second half of the school day went pretty well. Except for Iruka kept trying to stump Naruto with questions no Chunin would know... Lets just say it didn't end well after the first failed atempts "Naruto, what type of elemental technique was the Forth Hokage's signature technique?" Naruto just gave him a look that said I'm-Going-to-be-a-smart-ass-now "lets see Do you mean the Rasengan or the Hiraishin?" Naruto faked like he was using serious thought. "Hmm it can be either because both are not elemental techniques. They're both Ninpou-ninja arts! Jeez Iruka-sensei your supposed to be teaching us but you didn't know that?" the class burst into laughter. "No you smart ass the Rasengan is a Fuuton technique!" Now Naruto was annoyed "wanna bet?" "Fine you're on detentions till the rest of the year if you cant " Iruka's words were brutally shoved down his mouth as he watched Naruto do the impossible and formed a one-handed Rasengan perfectly. "You feel any wind Iruka-Sensei? I thought I felt a bunch of hot air coming from You..." Naruto's tone was as cold as Ice. The entire class was in awe while a few like Sasuke and Kiba were absolutely jealous and furious... The fangirls were now waving signs saying GO NARUTO-KUN in bold red paint.
"B-but h-how could you..." Iruka stuttered while falling on his ass "A demon brat like you shouldn't have learned such a technique..." "I, "Naruto started "learned from Some of the only decent people in this town..." If possible Naruto's tone of voice were colder with more malice and hatred than anyone could think possible, but even with all the anger you could still feel enough sorrow in it to pluck each heartstring. Most of the people in the room without even knowing his past. It didn't help when he let out enough killing intent to make most Jounin piss themselves. It got a lot worse as anyone looking closely enough would see a thin mist a red chakra poring out of him...
"NARUTO FOCUS!" at the voice everyone turned to the still open window only to find Kakashi Looking at Naruto with a look of concern. "Its alright nii-san Iruka sensei just pushed me a bit too far is all." Naruto's voice had gone back to its bright and cheer filled version which meant he was hiding the pain. "Are you sure?" "Its alright Its just I was hopeing the teacher wouldn't be another one of them..." if anything Naruto's eyes looked like someone who had lost all hope of life. "Naruto I...are you sure you can handle 'it' I mean ...if you want I'm sure they will let you leave..."Kakashi sounded if he was treading threw an emotional minefield "I'm sure." Naruto then turned to his classmates. "Let's just finish this school day and forget this ever happened shall we? I'm getting bored anyway."
As Naruto was walking back to his seat he was tripped by none other than the Emo-Uchiha. "What the hell is your problem Teme!" "My problem is the but ugly show off right in front of me!" "If I'm ugly your Emo!" "I'm not EMO!" "EMO-Teme!" Like I said before Naruto might have the mind of a sixteen-year old but he sure as hell didn't act it... "All Right take it to the sparing ring outside!" Iruka cut in.
The Entire class was out side in less than three seconds. And the fight hardly lasted any longer...
"Alright Teme lets see what you got..." Already pissed Sasuke charged Naruto and pulled out a Kunai... The teachers didn't do a thing. Naruto however ducked under the Kunai and pantsed Sasuke in front of the entire class no less. "That my friends is why you don't ever charge in anger, or wear teletubbies Underwear at the age of six..." Humiliated and red face Sasuke did three handseals before calling out "Katon: Gokakyu no jutsu!" a huge ball of fire shot out of Sasuke's mouth and shot straight at Naruto.
Who was hit and burst into flames...
"So much far the blond Baka..." as the fire cleared all that was left was ashes. Everyone watching thought Naruto was reduced to ashes but Iruka thought "Wait that's not possible, there would at least be something left bones, burnt cloth but there is nothing? What the..." Everyone was startled when they heard somebody whistle from a nearby tree Naruto was sitting back reading manga munching on Pocky. "Huh? Emo-teme actually beat my Kage Bunshin?" Everyone was shocked again all of them were thinking, "He's just six years old and he's how strong!" Naruto dropped down still reading his manga "Maybe this fight can hold my interest after all..." Naruto strolled over to the arena and barely glanced at Sasuke "should we start again?" And history repeated itself as the Emo Uchiha charged again but this time he landed a hit right in Naruto's gut. Naruto fell over and was FLAT On the ground but something about him was different..."What the hell it's a cardboard cut out?" This time Naruto was standing right behind Sasuke "Here's two new jutsu for you my cardboard-cut-out jutsu and now For the Trump Card... THOUSAND YEARS OF PAIN!" With those words Naruto ducked down pantsing Sasuke again picked up a stick and shoved it where the light don't shine... (Author: OWW!)
Sasuke shot forward getting a face full of dirt, with the stick literally stuck up his ass. While the class was laughing Naruto launched the finishing blow "Now you have a reason to act like you have something up your ass!" Ahh...life was good...
Back at Naruto's home
"Did you have a nice first day at school Naruto?" Naruto just gave his favorite fox grin "Yeah I got to impress my classmates I won my first practice spar and Taught a Kid A new trick..." The last bit worried Tsunade "Oh really what did you teach?" Naruto's grin turned evil "I taught the Uchiha brat how to say hi to his new and obviously only friend... The dirt..." "It can't get any worse..." Tsunade thought and boy was she wrong... "To be honest mom I think if me and him keep sparing he will keep 'running' into his new friend more often..." It just got worse.
Author: ah another chapter done...
editor: You would have been done sooner if you weren't watching mythbusters
Author: I'm going to send a request to mythbusters to see if a guy like you could lose his virginity.
Naruto: That's not a myth that's more like an urban legend
editor: Go to hell!
Author: next chapter there is another Time skip so vote for teams and pairing
Remember three more for the harem
Votes so far
Ino 4
Sakura 3
Temari 8
Tenten 7
Oc 4
REVIEW PLEASE!
Kyuubi: REVIEW OR I WILL HARVEST YOUR SOUL WITH A DULL BUTTER KNIFE!
Naruto: Down Kyuubi!