Disclaimer: I don't own anything in this fanfic, except Matt and... FUCKMAN!
Matt woke up in some cracker ass town.
Matt: Where the hell did I end up this time?
Matt then looked around to see a group of teenagers in tight clothes with a bunch of animals.
Matt: HOLY SHIT! YOUR BEASTIALITISTS!
Jake: No we arn't!
Cassie: I'm kind of one.
Everyone stares at Cassie.
Cassie: I've worked in an animal shelter most of my life! You would shove a ferret up your vagina too, if you could.
Matt: I would, but that's beside the point, Cassie!
Jake: How the fuck did you know her name?
Matt: It said it 5 lines ago!
Jake then pulled out his laptop and pressed a few buttons.
Jake: Holy fuck, he's right! You want to join us?
Matt: What are you? A bunch of faggy hippies, I've already teamed up with assholes like that!
Jake: We're the Animorphs!
Matt: What do you do?
Marco: We change into animals!
Matt: That's sooo original!
Beast Boy: They stole and ruined my powers!
Matt then shot Beast Boy.
Jake, holding a blue cube: Ok, just touch this cube and you can turn into animals!
Matt: Just like that, sweet!
Cassie: No, there's rules, like you can only stay in morph for 2 hours, any longer and your stuck in that morph for every! Also, you have to back to human form in between morphs.
Matt: That's sounds reasonable.
Jake: You also have to acquire an animal's DNA before you can morph into it, too.
Matt: WHAT THE FUCK?
Matt then took out a katana and sliced Jake's head off and stole the morphing cube.
The other Animorphs starred in shock.
Cassie: My Jack! I can't live without him!
Cassie then grabbed Tobias and shoved him up her vagina.
Cassie: OH TOBIAS! DEEPER! DEEPER!
Matt: Ok... I can make this better!
Matt then took out a Mackerel and smacked it against the cube until it glowed red.
Matt: There we go!
Matt then ate the cube.
Matt: NOW TO TAKE OVER THE WORLD!
Rachel: What?
Matt: Uh, I mean, uh... Distraction Jutsu!
Matt then threw his shoe at Rachel and morphed into a Salamence.
Matt: Haha! I win!
Suddenly a giant hand scooped up Matt.
Rachel: Ah! He's so cute!
Matt, noticing he was an inch tall: Curse you Nintendo and you small screen size! Curse you!
Matt then morphed into a giant Monkey God and craped all over Rachel, killing her instanly.
Matt: That will teach you for coming back to life!
Ax: I cannot let you contine!
He swung his tail blade at Matt, which bounced off and shattered.
Ax: Ah shit!
Matt then shot a red light out of his hand and morphed Ax into a fried chicken monster from the planet Marvin and ate him.
Marco: Awesome! Want to rule the universe?
Matt: Sure!
Matt then morphed Marco into a robot, made of pudding, with a pie for a laser cannon.
Marco: Uh, not what I was expecting.
Matt then flew out of Earth, blowing it up for the 2nd time.
Matt, stomach growling: Honestly Marco, I'm not sure how long his partnership will last.
Matt never did eat Marco though, except for that one time he ate him. Matt then took over he universe and renamed it the Matt-iverse! Fuck Yeah!