Chapter 9

The Mirror of the Past

Jamie woke up with a start, and sat up in her bed. She was having the same dream again, the one that changed her life forever. Jamie squinted at her clock. 'Eleven p.m.?' she thought to herself. 'Oh my gosh! The Quidditch match! I told Harry to meet me down at breakfast!' Jamie looked out her window. It was hard to see the Quidditch field from the side of the tower. Then she heard a microphone voice and new the game had already started. She got dressed quickly, pulled on a warm, black cloak, and ran out.

The weather was brutal, and her hair slapped around her face since the wind was so strong. Once she made it to the field, she went up the Gryffindor stands and moved towards the front.

"Jamie!" Came a voice, and Jamie turned her head and saw Hermione pulling her through the crowd. They were in the front column when Hermione spoke again.

"Where were you?"

"I slept in," she replied. Hermione gave her a look. "Who's winning?"

"Gryffindor, but only by 20 points," Hermione said with a frown. "Harry needs to catch the snitch." The wind was so strong that it pushed Hermione onto Jamie.

"Sorry," she said. But Jamie wasn't paying attention, she was looking for Harry's figure in the sky.

"How's Ron holding up?"

"Alright," Hermione said frowning again. "If it weren't for the Slytherins jeering, he could have saved quite more." Jamie gazed towards the field, and then she saw Harry who was looking frantically for the snitch.

Meanwhile, in the sky, Harry looked through each cloud. 'Where is it?' he thought to himself. Malfoy had almost pushed him off his broom before, and now he wanted to wipe that smirk off his face by catching the snitch. He looked towards Ron, who Harry could see, was shaking with nervousness and cold. Ron was looking at the Gryffindor stand, when Harry saw the quaffle coming his way.

"Ron! Catch the quaffle!" Ron turned to look at Harry when he saw Ron's eyes shine with horror. He pointed his hand towards Harry.

"Harry! Behind you!"

"Harry! Look out!" Came a voice, and Harry turned towards the stands to see Jamie with a look of fear across her face. Without a second later, Harry felt a sharp fail on his right wrist, and grimaced in pain. He then realized he was attacked with a bludger. All Harry could think about was the agonizing pain, when he finally saw the snitch. Wanting the game to end quickly so he could run into the Hospital Wing, he reached out his hand, when suddenly, the snitch flew downwards. Harry was right after it, and then was no more two feet from the ground, grabbed the snitch and lost control of his broom and fell to the ground. Except for his wrist, which he was sure was broken, Harry wasn't hurt badly.

Ron quickly flew towards him and helped him up as the crowd cheered at him. The rest of the team looked at Harry happily, glad that they won their first game. Harry looked at the Gryffinor stand and saw that everybody was filing out- except Jamie. She was looking at him with fear in her eyes, and then she looked away, and went with the crowd.

"Harry! You did it!" Came Ginny's voice, and she kissed his cheek again.

"Come on, Harry," said Ron, putting Harry's arm over his shoulder, "lets get you up to the Hospital Wing." They started moving towards the wing, when Hermione and Jamie came up in front of them.

"Congratulations Harry!" said Hermione. "You too Ron!" she added.

"How's your wrist?" Jamie asked.

"I think it's broken," he replied grimacing as he tried to move it.

"Don't worry," said Ron noticing the look of fear across her face. "Madam Pomfrey will fix it." But Jamie wasn't listening. Instead, she carefully touched Harry's wrist with her hand, and held it. Harry felt a warm sensation on his wrist and looked at Jamie. When she saw him looking at her, she quickly let go of his broken wrist.

"Sorry I was late," she said quietly, and then gave one last smile and left towards the school.

"God she's weird," said Ron looking after her. "I still don't trust her." But Harry wasn't listening, for when he moved his wrist, it didn't hurt at all.

"Harry!" Hermione exclaimed, her eyes wide. "Your wrist!" Ron looked and noticed Harry moving it.

"Whoa!" he said.

"Does it hurt?" Hermione asked.

"No," said Harry, rubbing his hands against his wrist. "It doesn't hurt at all."

"You don't think that Jamie..." Ron said nodding towards the place that she headed, "did...that."

"Do you think she did?" Harry asked Hermione. For the first time, she looked speechless.

"I honestly don't know," answered Hermione.

During the next few days, Jamie seemed to be avoiding Harry. She would never even pass his way, and was never at the lunch nor dinner.

"I wouldn't be either," said Ron stuffing his mouth with toast. "I'd stay up there, kick back, and eat all that I could." The large pack of owls flew in delivering the mail.

"I hear today, in Defense against the Dark Arts, we're facing Dementors," said Hermione.

"Great," Harry replied.

Hedwig then swooped in, and had a letter for Harry.

"Who's that from?" Ron asked.

"Don't know," Harry replied uniting the letter. Before he opened it, there was writing on the back that said "Do not open in public".

"I'll open it during lunch," said Harry shuffling the letter into his back. During the rest of his classes, Harry kept wondering who the letter was from. When he was finally dismissed from his class, and as the lunch bell rang, he ran up towards his dormitory, and took the letter from out of his pack. He began to open the letter, his hands shaking. He unfolded it, and began to read its contents:

Dear Harry,

When you are reading this letter, it means that I have past on, and am no longer living in the same world as you. This letter has been written before my death, actually written during the Christmas break you came to my dreadful house. But lets not start with that, I want to tell you, Harry, about how much you came to mean to me. Harry, ever since I met you, you became my best friend (well, aside from Buckbeak, but that's different.) Your so extraordinarily like your father Harry, and don't be ashamed of that. Your parents would have been so proud of you, they probably still are. Harry, you became more than a godson to me, you became my brother, my son. I want you to know Harry, that no matter how or when I died, I will always love you, and will always be watching over you. You have made me so proud, and I hope that you know that you will not be facing this war alone. I know at this moment your mad at Dumbledore for not letting you in Harry, but you must know that besides the prophecy, there are many more secrets under that man's hat. Now since I'm gone, number twelve Grimmauld Place is yours, along with all my other possesions. Don't work yourself to hard Harry, we all do. Thank you for all you have done for me, and I hope that you will not forget me. Good luck Harry, you'll be needing it!

-Sirius Black

Harry folded the letter back into it's envelope, and then threw it on the ground. 'It's all my fault,' he thought to himself. 'If I didn't have to play hero and run to the rescue than he'd still be alive.' Harry sighed and then suddenly he felt angry.

'Why me? Why does everything bad have to happen to me? He was the only person I had left, and i had to kill him!' Harry got up from his bed and smashed his lamp on the floor where it shattered. He sat back down on the bed and covered his head with his hands. He heard someone opening the door.

"Harry?" Came Ron's nervous voice. "What's wrong?" He then noticed the shattered lamp. "Did you do that?" Harry hadn't answered him, and Ron began to worry.

"Hermione and me heard something break, so I came up to check on you." He then saw the opened letter.

"Who's your letter from?" Harry then looked up in disbelief and threw the letter closer to Ron.

"Read it," he said. Ron took the letter and looked back at Harry. He took out the letter and began to read it.

"Well..." said Ron after reading the letter, "looks like his house and money are yours now." That seemed to be the wrong thing to say because then Harry shot up with anger.

"You think that's what I want?" he yelled. "You think I was after his god forsaken house and money?"

"No-" Ron began, but then was cut off.

"That's all you think about isn't? You think that I enjoy being the famous Harry Potter, the one who everyone admires!"

"No, listen mate-"

"I have gone through more shit than anybody in this school has ever faced! If you want to swamp lives any day please be my guest!"

"Harry, I'm not saying-"

"You don't understand do you?" Harry shouted back, and then Ron stood up with anger too in his eyes.

"I would if you would shut up and let me talk! How can I understand if all your doing is accusing me of crap! I know your going through a hard time but-"

"You don't know anything!" Harry said cutting him off. Ron fell silent, then nodded.

"Alright, fine. I can see that your not going to stop being angry. But once you have cooled done and stooped acting like an arse, then you know where to find me." And with that, Ron left the room and shut the door.

Ron walked down the stairs feeling more depressed than usual. He felt horrible from the way Harry was yelling at him, and only wanted to help. Ron walked down the stairs to see Hermione, Ginny, and Jamie talking among one another. Hermione stopped talking when she saw Ron coming down.

"Is he alright?"

"Oh yeah," said Ron in sarcasm, "he's peachy keen, besides the fact that he basically threw me out of the room. I think if I stayed there longer he was going to hit me."

"Why is he mad?" Ginny asked. Ron was about to answer but then noticed Jamie.

"I think I left my book on the table," she said noticing Ron's expression, and walked away.

Ron began to talk when Jamie was far from them.

"He got a letter from Sirius, saying that everything that was his is now Harry's. And I guess Harry's all moody because he thinks that this is all his fault."

"He always thinks that," Hermione said.

"Maybe I should talk to him," Ginny said and started walking up the stairs but then was stopped by Ron.

"No, don't, he needs time to brood."

"But Harry's out friend," Hermione said, "we can't just leave him up there, thinking things like that."

"If you go up there, it will just make things worse. Believe me."

"Ron, can't you see that Harry's trying to push us away."

"Of course I see it, but its what he wants for now. And if he wants space, then we'll just have to give it to him."

"Alright then," Hermione said and Ginny nodded. "Let's get to class then," and together they left the common room. Even though Jamie was far from the group, she could hear every single word they had spoken. She looked to see if they left, then looked back towards the stairs. She took a deep breath and began to climb towards the boy's dormitory. She knocked before entering.

"Harry?"

"Go away!" Came Harry's voice. Jamie rolled her eyes, and opened the door.

"Look, I don't want to talk-" he shouted but stopped when he saw Jamie. "What do you want?"

"I just thought that we should talk," Jamie said looking at him in the eye.

"Talk?" Harry said in a disbelieving tone. "You want to talk now? Why didn't you talk to me instead of avoiding me a few days ago?"

"Harry, I now I've been acting childishly lately,but it's for a good cause."

"A good cause?" Harry answered raising his voice. "You've been avoiding me and keeping secrets from me! Everybody is!"

"Harry, calm down and stop acting like your the victim here," Jamie said with her own voice raising.

"I AM the victim here," Harry said pointing to himself. "You don't understand do you? You don't know what it's like to have no one," Jamie just shook her head. "You have your perfect family and Dumbledore, but I have no one!"

"My family isn't perfect Harry," Jamie said and then she scoffed. "You know what amazes me is that your still the same. I know how you feel, Harry!" Harry just snorted.

"That's bull!" He shouted.

"Which part? Is it that part where everyone is expecting you to go through a grieving process, but you can't even do that right? Is it the part where instead of knowing Sirius Black your whole life like you should have, your godfather spent the majority of it locked away innocently in Azkaban prison and when you guys were on the verge of really getting to know each other, you think you somehow ruined everything from that happening. Or is it the part where you could have prevented it. Where you think that if you had put a serious effort into your Occlumency lessons with Snape, Voldemort would no longer have been able to see into your mind and plant those images of Sirius in danger!"

"You still don't know what its like to be alone, do you?" Harry shouted.

"Harry, without suffering there would be no compassion."

"Yeah, well tell that to those who suffer."

"I just did," Jamie replied quietly which made Harry more angry.

"You don't know what it's like. All my life I've been in pain!"

"You act like you think you know everybody Harry! When the plain truth is, you don't even know who you are! And what's worse is that your pushing everyone who's trying to help you away. And one day your going to see that the day you actually want someone, there will be no one there." Jamie waited for him to respond.

"Get out of my room," he said and sat back on his bed. "GET OUT!" Jamie just nodded, and left closing the door behind her.

After Jamie left, Harry looked at his clock. There was one more class left, and he thought he might as well attend it to take his mind off things. He hated the fact that everything Jamie had said to him was right.

'She still doesn't know,' he thought to himself walking towards the Defense Against Dark Arts classroom. 'She has never seen anyone die, or lost anyone.' Harry opened the door, and saw that Snape was subbing in. 'Great,' he thought, 'if I knew he was here, I never would have came.'

"Potter," Snape said. "Your late, ten points from Gryffindor." Harry didn't respond, but sat next to Dean Thomas. He looked around the classroom and saw Ron and Hermione sitting together, throwing worried glances at him when they thought he wasn't looking. He saw Jamie sitting next to Neville, with a sad expression on her face which made Harry a little happier.

"Today," Snape began, "We will be facing Dementor's, and don't worry Longbottom, there Bogart's. We will be using Potter as a tool to turn them into a Dementor." Everyone looked at Harry as he said this, and Harry heard Malfoy laugh. Snape taught the next half hour teaching the Patronus, which half the class knew from Harry's D.A. lessons.

Then Harry was to walk to the front and stand in front of the Bogart, while it changed into a Dementor so everyone could have a chance to use their Patronus. Snape was more than halfway done with each student, when finally the last one was up.

"Sullivan," he said, "your up."

"Professor," Jamie said at the same time walking up towards the front.

"I don't think I should do this activity."

"Nonsense Sullivan, you are to do just like the other students no matter how special you think you are."

"But-"

"ENOUGH!" He shouted and Jamie fell silent.

"Fine," she said quietly and took out her wand. Harry was at the front, when their eyes met for a second, before Jamie looked away.

"Open the chest Potter," Snape said. Harry obeyed and a Dementor came streaming out, but instead of moving towards Harry, it went towards Jamie.

"Expecto Patroum!" Jamie shouted, but it didn't seem to work. Before she could try again, the Bogart changed from a Dementor into a mirror. Jamie narrowed her eyebrows, and Harry began walking towards her so he could change the Bogart back.

"Stop Potter!" Snape shouted with his hand out. He was watching the mirror as Jamie was. Harry looked and saw everyone in the classroom watching to, and he turned to look. It was an ordinary mirror, expect it looked like it was moving into a memory. The next thing Harry saw was a tall man with dark hair. Behind him the sky was dark and there was several poundings on the door.

"Go hide with your brother Jamie!"

"Daddy, no! Don't leave!" said the child version of Jamie, which Harry could not see since the memory was from Jamie's point of view. The poundings on he door grew heavier as if someone was trying to break in.

"Open up Muggle!" shouted a voice. Jamie's dad looked at her again, then brought her into a closet.

"Hide in here. Don't look, no matter what. If you hear me scream, don't come out you hear me!" Jamie didn't say anything, but was crying.

"Promise me Jamie!"

"I promise," she said. He father then closed the door, but unfortunately, not all the way. Jamie peeked through the open slit and saw three hooded figures walking towards her father who had a bat in his hands.

"Who are you?"

"Crucio!" shouted one of the figures, and Jamie watched as her father screamed in pain.

"Foolish muggle," said the figure. "Did you think that you could defeat the Dark Lord. No. All those who are close to Dumbledore will suffer the most!" Then he and the other figures began laughing and shouted, "Avada Kedava!" And Jamie's father died, with Jamie witnessing the whole thing from the closet.

The real Jamie began shouting, "Ridicu-" but was cut off by Snape's hand which he used to cover he mouth. Harry looked and saw that she had tears streaming down her eyes.

Then the mirror image changed. There was now a handsome boy in front with a video camera.

"Alright, here we are in the Sullivan home, and it is my sincere pleasure to present to you the distinctive vocal styling the one and only- Jamie Sullivan!" The camera flicked through the room, pausing at an older, beautiful woman who was clapping, who Harry guessed to be Jamie's mother. A ten year-old Jamie was now in front.

"Bri, that was very kind of you, thank you, this next song I wrote for my family." Jamie began to sing:

"Somethings got a hold of me,

the light will follow where you go.

One more mile to Jericho

The walls will tumble,

the walls will crumble,

if we ever say goodbye.'

Then another image came upon the mirror. It was Jamie's brother again, fighting with an older man.

"Let her go to the music school!" Her brother shouted.

"No! I'm your new father now! What I say goes!"

The image changed again to Jamie crying and her brother with her in a room.

"Jamie what did he do to you?"

"He told me I was late, and then he hit me."

"Jamie," he brother said, "How many times has he done this to you?" Jamie just cried and so did her brother.

The image changed into Jamie and her brother again, this time, no one was crying.

"Come on," she said. "It's your graduation! I spent all my money on these tickets!"

"Alright," her brother said with a smile on her face.

The image now showed them in a car singing, then Jamie shouted,

"Bri, look out!" Then there was a loud honk and the mirror turned into a bright white.

Jamie was now at a funeral, and then was praying in her room.

"What the hell are you doing?" Came her step father's voice. "You call lying on the floor a prayer?"

"Faith isn't a floor plan," Jamie said, "You should know that since your a priest." Then he smacked Jamie on her head.

Again, the image changed into Jamie walking into her house. She was calling her mother, and walked into her mother's bedroom, where their was blood covering the sheets.

"Mom!" Jamie yelled and ran into the bathroom, and saw her mother in different angles with blood all over the bathroom.

"Now its your turn," came a voice behind Jamie and she looked and saw her step-father coming towards her. She managed to run past him down the stairs, and found that she couldn't open any of the doors.

"Your locked in," came the voice. Jamie ran and hid in a closet. Her step-father seemed to know where she was, had his knife raised, and he opened the closet door and Jamie screamed. She hit his head, in which he threw a vase at her, and she fell on the ground. The last thing she heard was a voice that calmed her,

"You'll be alright Jamie, I promise you."

Harry recgonized the voice as Dumbledore's and turned to look at Jamie who was sobbing. Snape looked fascinated through the whole thing, and Harry finally figured out that he was only using Jamie to figure out her past.

"Ridikulous!" Harry shouted and the mirror shattered. It seemed to wake the class up from the trance of watching the mirror. Harry looked and saw that Ron and Hermione had fear and sadness in their eyes. Jamie broke through Snape's grasp and ran out of the classroom. Then it made Harry realize in guilt over what he had said to Jamie. He couldn't believe now how he told her that she didn't understand.