Something Like That . . .
Part V
Act IV (Screw you guys . . . hate . . . you guys (a forgotten script)
Gaara rushed in first, unable to contain his lust for combat any longer.
Shikamaru thought hard for a strategy that would help him out, the best he could come up with in that split second was shoving Hinata into Gaara.
Now even in this split second he had time to convince himself she wouldn't be killed, that Gaara was just playing, apologize mentally to her for the necessity, make peace with himself for the evil he was about to commit, aim her, double check his aim, triple check, think maybe it wasn't a good idea, and then shove her forward anyway with all his might.
Her head slammed into Gaara's, and she went down. Gaara didn't, but he seemed surprised and that let Shikamaru leap back and go after the weakest member of Gaara's team, Kiba.
He drew his prop blade—he wondered if it were another of Hinata's clones transformed—and shouted "Draw steel, you rotten old eel, and face me man to man!"
"Man to man, not a chance, behind you take a glance, you've forgotten the skills of my clan!"
Shikamaru leapt to the side, anticipating an enemy attack, and he was just barely able to get out of the way in time as Akamaru charged in to where he'd just been.
Damn that dog was getting big!
Shikamaru spun his prop sword in his hand and brought it up in time to block a thrust made by Neji. Chouji rushed in then and said "Fear not my friend, for if this is my end, I shall die by your side fighting like a man!"
"What a touching display, are you sure you're not gay? Well either way your death is all part of the plan!" Neji cried, lunging forward and "stabbing" Chouji, who gasped and fell to his knees.
"And all fades to black, man I should have dodged that attack, alas my life it does fade . . ."
"We've got them out numbered, man have they blundered, in letting their friend here get laid!" Kiba said.
"Not a thing did occur, why don't you just ask her? As a guest I behaved very well!" Shikamaru protested.
"We don't really care, what you did while you were there, we're still sending you straight to hell!" Gaara said.
Gaara rushed on again, not really bothering with his prop sword, Shikamaru leapt up to avoid him only to find Kankuro's Black Ant puppet waiting for him in the air!
Its arms reached out for him, he spun and carefully kicked off from the puppet, avoiding its grasp by millimeters, and propelled himself towards Kankuro!
The puppet master's second puppet however intercepted Shikamaru, as he'd expected it would, he slammed into the puppet and used it to kick off and propel himself towards Kiba who'd set his sights on Tenten!
Shikamaru slammed into Kiba, knocking him into Akamaru, and knocking both of them out (this story contains no cruelty to animals . . . Akamaru had a stunt double!)
The dazed Chunin rolled as he hit the ground and came up on his feet in time to see Gaara coming at him.
Damn it where did Gaara get off being this fast?
Shikamaru had guessed that Kankuro would be the one to reach him next, not Gaara.
But he'd have been doomed even if it were Neji!
He held up his pathetic little sword and to his surprise it worked.
That is Gaara fell over and groaned. "My blood now flows free, alas brother avenge me . . ."
Shikamaru blinked and whispered to Gaara, "You're not supposed to die . . ."
Gaara opened one eye and whispered ". . . that makes this really awkward."
"What the heck are you idiots doing? Are you fighting for real or what?" Ino screamed.
"We never did any choreography, so don't you get mad at me! If this were real we'd let you know! " Lee said.
"All we can do, is try not to ruin things for you, so just shut up now, Ino!" Neji panted.
"Yeah, hey enough with the rhyming already!" Ino screamed.
"Stop right there, you're not being fair, having a fight without me? For leaving me out, I'm going to pout, and make you all say you're sorry!" Temari cried, standing atop one of the set buildings, Shikamaru wondered how it was holding her, given that it was made of very cheap, weak wood.
"Dear sister can't you see, they've slain sibling number three, and vengeance must now be ours!" Kankuro said.
Shikamaru helped Gaara up, who dusted himself off. "Sibling number three doesn't look dead to me; he's as tough as a bull!" Shikamaru said.
"I did trip indeed, but now what I need, is to rip out your boyfriend's skull!" Gaara cried, jabbing at Shikamaru with his prop sword, the other boy leapt back avoiding a premature death, then wondering why he'd bothered.
"I'm not supposed to die yet!" Shikamaru groaned.
"Oh . . . well since I wasn't supposed to die I just assumed . . ." Gaara explained.
Temari shook her head and held a sword in each hand, "Now that I'm here, it seems pretty clear, that I cannot do without one or the other, but who do I choose, who can I stand to loose? My brothers or my lazy ass lover?"
Shikamaru's eye twitched, he was beginning to think the "lazy" remarks were aimed at him directly, Ramón wasn't lazy . . . the guy had gone out of his way to hit on a girl from another village, Shikamaru had never tried a long distance relationship and he didn't want to . . . it'd be too troublesome.
Of course he was playing him in a lazy, unenthusiastic manner.
"So you admit that he's you're lover, did he at least remember to wear a rubber? I don't want to be an uncle just yet!" Kankuro scoffed.
"Watch your mouth you dope, or it'll be washed out with soap, that I can thrash you is still a safe bet!" Temari scoffed.
"Sister dear, to us it is clear, you're siding with our enemy." Gaara said.
"Which makes you a traitor, instead of a Myth hater, if only father were here to see!" Kankuro groaned, a dramatic arm held over his head while his puppets were thoroughly thrashed and dismantled by Lee.
"Enough with the rhymes, I've told you too many times, just get on with the stinking play!" Ino screamed, "The audience is in stitches, and you're all grade A sons of bitches, hurry up now I don't have all day!"
"Fight on we shall, to save Ramón our pal, but death is not something I hope for!" Tenten said.
"Nay, nor do I, Ramón you're a nice guy, but next time warn us before you score!" Lee said.
"He didn't touch a thing, do you see any ring? My finger is pretty bare. We spent the whole night, running in fright, from that loud mouthed narrator right there!" Temari said, pointing at Ino who was stomping onto the stage bedecked in heavy samurai armor, holding two swords that didn't look very fake, she had a naginata, bow and arrows strapped to her back, her eyes were blank white orbs of anger and she breathed heavily as she forced herself towards them.
"Oh crap she's mad!" Shikamaru said.
"Well this sure looks bad." Lee agreed.
"With all these dumb rhymes this play was ruined since the start of act one!" Ino cried.
"That may well be, but gee, can't a girl, have a wee bit o' fun?" Temari scoffed.
"No, not on my watch! Now no one's going to rhyme with me, my last word is Zebra!" Ino cried.
"Hey Kankuro, isn't that girl you have a crush on a Libra?" Gaara asked.
"You're all sons of bitches!" Ino screamed.
"I think Hinata needs stitches!" Lee cried, clapping at the new fun "piss off Ino" game.
"I want you all to die!" Ino said.
"He-he, we're making her cry!" Kiba teased.
"Well . . . well now I feel kind of bad, for making her so sad, c'mon guys we are being cruel." Tenten said.
"Oh all right, we'll get on with the fight, this play does beat being in school." Neji said.
"Let's just end the scene, and stop being so mean, to this girl who has only a dream." Temari said.
"Say what you will, I say she just needs to chill, she's done nothing but shout and scream." Shikamaru said.
"Well if that's it for the scene, looks like we got away clean," Lee said, "Both Tenten and I are still living I mean."
"Hey so am I, this crap just wont fly," Neji scoffed.
"Oh well have it your way, for calling me gay, I use my dying breath to end your life!" Chouji cried, making a good show of acting as he threw his sword at Neji.
Neji had to dodge into the sword, or Chouji would have missed, he fell down dead and said, "Oh now I die, killed by that lame old guy, and his wimpy little kunai knife!"
"It was a sword!" Tenten said.
"I just rhymed his last word!" Neji said, and then died.
"Well that still does leave, Tenten and myself I believe." Rock Lee said.
"Oh not at all, you'll just die breaking Julia's fall." Gaara said, he kicked the building on which Temari was standing.
"What the—whoa!" Temari screamed and fell onto Lee and Tenten.
"There we go, all squared away, Gaara here's saved the day, and the scene can now end properly." Shikamaru said.
"Uh, you little jerk, that really hurt, and I think we really did kill poor Lee." Temari said, poking Lee with one of her swords.
But Lee grumbled something about bunnies so Shikamaru figured he was okay.
More or less.
"Thank you all so much, for listening to me, but did you have to rhyme the whole while?" Ino asked.
"Oh for crying out loud, just look at the crowd, the rhyming is making them smile." Temari said. "You didn't think I knew what I was doing, but in my clever mind a plan's always brewing, and when my back stops feeling broken, I'll tell you why you'll be glad these rhymes were all spoken!"
"I don't really care, Mrs. Pineapple Hair, oh darn now you've gotten a rhyme out of me!" Ino cried.
Shikamaru sighed as the curtains closed; he envied Lee, Tenten, Chouji, Kiba and Neji since they wouldn't need to be needed for anything until the curtain call.
They'd have all the time in the world to go watch clouds while he had to keep acting in this play.
"Oh man, thanks a lot Gaara, my back really hurts!" Temari complained, so Shikamaru, being the closest person to her who wasn't unconscious, helped her up. "Carry me!" She demanded.
"What? Why would I—" Shikamaru began to protest, but she wouldn't allow it.
"Carry!" The sand kunoichi barked.
"Uh . . . yes ma'am." Shikamaru, feeling his cheeks burn, picked her up.
"I could have Crow carry you, sis." Kankuro offered.
"No, this is fine." Temari said with closed eyes and a content smile. She looked kind of cute . . .
'Maybe it's fine for you, you troublesome woman.' Shikamaru thought. He didn't like having to be a means of conveyance, no matter how cute she was.
More to Come . . .
If there is something between Tenten and Lee they have failed totell me, and it is none ofmy business what they do in their dressing rooms in between scenes. If I can makea person rhyme for an entire day I've done my job well, if you lot enjoy the rhymes I guess I'll do my best to keep them around. I will continue as quickly as reviews come in, so review for the next chapter, you know you want to! I will take the whole doubleJulia thing into consideration since the next chapter is only 2/3 done. As for Kiba, well he is one of my favorite characters so you can rest assured that though his role is dead now, he will continue to be in this story, the next chapter even, and he will playa role in my other Naruto story once I finish this one.