Disclaimer: I own nothing regarding GWTW

Author's Notes: Thank you for all the reviews and feedback.

Chapter Four

The entire household went to church on Sunday. Scarlett wanted to scream. At least, being married to Rhett she hadn't had to attend church services. Sure, he had taken Wade a couple of times to the Episcopal Church, but that was just to impress the matrons and he hadn't made her go. "

After church, when she thought she and Ashley would spend time together he instead had chosen to read a book. She also noticed that he didn't really spend any time with the children which was to be expected. Most fathers didn't spend time with their children. Hadn't she thought there was something unmanly about Rhett spending so much time with Bonnie and the children? But now she thought it was the way things should be. That a father should spend time with his children. That it was better for the children.

That night in the privy Scarlett asked Genie, "Tell me how Ashley asked me to marry him?"

With a sad look on her face, Genie said, "You had relations with him in the orchard one cold January day."

Scarlett remembered that day. The day she had gone to him about the taxes which he wasn't any help with. She remembered him telling her he was a coward, and she knew even at the time she hadn't understood what he meant. She remembered he had said, 'I love you.' She remembered they had shared a passionate kiss and embrace. She remembered they hadn't gone too far because of Melanie. Scarlett guessed this time Ashley hadn't stopped and neither had she. She said, "We had relations in the orchard?"

"Yes, the next day you two went into Jonesboro and got married as Ashley said to give the baby a name."

Scarlett knew that she hadn't stopped Ashley because if they had relations his honor would make him marry her. Foolish child that she was she thought once she was married to Ashley everything would be perfect. She had given up Tara for Ashley.

She had not gone into Atlanta and sold herself to Rhett. She had given up Tara for Ashley and it was plain to see that he had not appreciated her sacrifice. With a lot of sadness in her voice Scarlett said, "There was no baby."

"No. Does he resent me?"

"Yes, and he blames you for Melly's death. He believes that if you had stayed in Atlanta instead of moving her, she would be alive."

"Genie, that is just not true. So many people died when Sherman forced them out of the city. At least by escaping from Atlanta I saved his son's life."

"Yes, you did, Mistress. It has been a week. Are you ready to make another wish?"

"Yes, I want to be able to understand what people are saying when they talk to me. Rhett always said I was obtuse. I never have understood anything Ashley was trying to tell me. There were so many times I knew there was more meaning behind his words, but I couldn't grasp it. Rhett too."

"You want to be perceptive?"

"What does that mean?"

"Observant or insightful."

"Yes."

"Tomorrow morning you will be perceptive. What's more you will be observant of other people. When you think of past conversations you will understand them."

"Thank you."

"You are welcome my mistress."

Genie smiled. She was happy to give Scarlett this gift. It was what Scarlett needed to turn her life around. She knew that once Scarlett received the gift of perception, she would see the truth about her relationship with Ashley.

Genie left before she said anything more. She didn't need to give Scarlett counsel now. Tomorrow she would understand so much more than she ever had before.

Scarlett had come to enjoy her time feeding her daughter. It was probably the first time in her life she had slowed down enough to honestly think about things. She always promised herself that she would think about something tomorrow, but she never did. She was always too busy rushing off to attend to something else.

The next morning while feeding Melanie, Scarlett thought about the conversation in the orchard. She finally understood it all. He had been trying to tell her that day in the orchard that he loved Melanie, but she hadn't understood anything he said that day. She finally understood what Ashley had meant when he said he was a coward. He was an emotional coward. She understood what he had meant about holding the world at a distance. He wanted to live his life while only being half alive.

She also got mad at herself for having Ashley up on a pedestal. That year she had been working herself to death to make Tara profitable but when she had seen him in the orchard splitting rails, she had thought it beneath him. What she should have thought was that if he was any kind of a man he should have been working twice as hard as she had. Rhett would have been. For now, she passed over that thought. Even Will had been working harder than Ashley. Ashley should have been ashamed that she a woman was basically carrying him.

Rhett was right. She had been carrying Ashley this entire time. It wasn't that he was too good for the work. It was that he thought himself too good for the work. He held working for a living in contempt. He had been such a nothing of a man he was content with a woman carrying him so he could survive.

She knew now that Ashley not only didn't love her but saw her as an ignorant child. A child that was half Irish and too earthy for his libido's comfort. She had always been too much woman for him. Ashley loved the fact that she the belle of five counties had preferred him to all other men. Now he hated the fact that other men were so attracted to her. That had never bothered Rhett. No, her Rhett had enjoyed every man wishing they were him. She paused and wondered how she knew that, but she knew it was true. More of the insight she guessed.

Scarlett smiled for Melly had let her carry Ashley also. She knew that Melly had justified it by telling herself that Ashley just wasn't ready to stand on his own two feet after the war. Or worse Melly had taken advantage of her too. She would ask Rhett about it when they were back in their original time.

Scarlett thought about hers and Ashley's conversation in the library when she had told him she loved him. He had been trying to let her down gently. She finally understood it all.

She thought, 'I was thrilling to be around. I idolized and adored Ashley. Ashley was proud that I preferred him to every other man. Ashley selfishly continued to let me worship him even when he knew he was going to marry another woman. What's more, I excited Ashley on a baser level and although it thrilled him when he was with me, he was ashamed of those feelings when he was away from me. They were definitely not gentlemanly feelings.

Rhett doesn't like feeling that way about me either but for an entirely different reason. Rhett doesn't like being out of control. Rhett desired me so much he had to marry me to have my body. Scarlett stopped her thoughts. She laughed at how obtuse she really was. No man that rich married a woman to have access to her body. He must have already loved me at the time despite his cruel denial of it.

Rhett hated the fact that he was so involved with me, and I was only fond of him. I felt safe when he held me. I enjoyed sleeping with him. The relations part wasn't bad, I just felt like Rhett was holding himself back and now I know he was. I now know there was an entirely other level that Rhett wasn't taking me to. He took me there three weeks ago and I did like that. I wonder why he never took me there before,' She smiled sadly when she thought, 'Because I wouldn't let him. I insisted on being a lady at all times."

Scarlett stared off into space while thought after thought popped into her head. That was why he got so mad in New Orleans; I wounded his ego by thinking of another man when he was lying beside me. He probably thought that I had been thinking of Ashley when we were intimate. Isn't that what he accused me of in the dining room when he was so drunk. He may have even thought that I wasn't participating because of loyalty to Ashley. That was why Rhett was so mad when I told him I didn't want to have any more children. He thought I didn't want to have relations with him. That it didn't have anything to do with me not wanting to have any more children. I wounded him in an area he was already sensitive in. She remembered his comment about a dog in the manger. She would get Ashley to explain that to her. She believed that would tell her about what Rhett had been thinking at the time.

The next time she fed Melanie she thought about what Rhett had said when he had asked her to marry him. He had told her in his joking way that he loved her. Scarlett laughed. She really was obtuse. She had said she was fond of Frank and then in the same conversation said she was fond of him. No wonder he had been mad at her choice of words. She had made it sound like she felt the same about him that she felt about Frank. That would have been pretty insulting since he knew she couldn't stand Frank.

The next time she fed Melanie she thought about when he had gotten out of the Fire Station and their conversation in Frank's store. She smiled when she thought of that ridiculous top hat and cape he had on that night. Fortunately, he had never worn it again. She now believed he would have asked her to marry him that night. That night he had shown her so much more than she had realized. He had been right about Ashley letting her go into Atlanta to sell herself to him. He had also been right that a man who genuinely loved a woman would have killed her before letting her do that. She should have realized he loved her by the passionate way he had made that statement and the way he had looked at her afterwards. She had not been paying attention to Rhett. She had been thinking about how to defend Ashley. Far too often that had been the case. She had not thought about the words Rhett was saying she had just reflexively defended Ashley.

She thought of their conversation at the Fire House. She had fooled him completely. He had genuinely thought that she had come to love him, and he loved her too therefore it had been a dream come true for Rhett. If it weren't for her hands, she would have gotten away with it. She now believed he honestly couldn't have gotten the money. He had been humiliated that she had almost fooled him which would have been bad enough but when he found out that she didn't love him then his extremely happy feelings would have been dashed. He would have been frustrated and angry. Rhett did what Rhett did when he was frustrated and angry. He behaved like a four-year-old and struck back at her in the cruelest conceivable way he could think of in that moment. Add into this mix that he with all his money couldn't help her when she had needed him would have made him feel weak and powerless.

Scarlett pondered Rhett behaving like a four-year-old. As much as Rhett like to think he was so mature and sophisticated, he could behave immaturely too. When he was hurt, he behaved like a small child. He wanted to strike back and hurt that person. He usually did hurt the person in the worst conceivable way. Another way Rhett behaved like a small child was that he in that moment never considered the long-term consequences of his actions. She smiled when she realized that Rhett had believed that she would let bygones be bygones. And why not? She always had. Yes, Rhett was an imbecile. She smiled when she thought that thought.

She had to laugh when she thought of the number of times Rhett had called her a child. She spitefully thought, 'I guess it takes one to know one.'

Later that night Scarlett found a book on the bookshelf that was about Greek mythology. It was a fairly interesting book.