Something Like That . . .
Part VI
Scene Prep
Temari leapt up into the air, "That's why the rhymes are saving the day!"
"I see . . ." Ino nodded slowly.
"I thought you were paralyzed." Shikamaru scoffed. "Isn't that why you made me carry you back here?"
"I don't know what you're talking about, I'm sure I'd remember doing something like that." Temari said innocently. Kankuro chuckled and Gaara shook his head in an odd way.
Odd because it wasn't amused, but wasn't homicidal either, a new one on his elder sister.
Ino sighed, "I really wish Sakura were here to play Julia . . ."
"Why? Temari is doing a great job!" Chouji said.
"What do you know?" Ino demanded, "That perverted girl, I'm afraid of what she's going to do in this next scene!"
That perked Temari's interest. "What's the next scene? The sex scene? You ready to become a real man, Shikamaru?"
"It's not the sex scene!" Ino cried.
"Hah! So you admit that there is one!" Temari cried in triumph.
"I admit nothing!" Ino hissed.
"Fools." Shikamaru scoffed.
Temari scowled at him, "Nobody's talking to you." She said.
"Yes you were. You asked him if he was ready to—"
"Shaddap Kankuro!" Temari cried.
"Can we just get this annoying mess behind us?" Shikamaru sighed, "I have places to go, things to do."
"No you don't." Chouji said.
"Yeah but . . . still, let's get this over with." Shikamaru said.
Temari scoffed. "I'm not doing anything until I know what this scene's all about."
"Idiot." Shikamaru sighed. "What is Ramon and Julia?"
"I think you mean 'who'." Kiba pointed out.
"No, he means the play!" Ino shouted at Kiba, ". . . right?" she added, and Shikamaru nodded.
"Oh! Really stupid?" Temari offered.
"A love story!" Ino cried.
"Hmph. I knew that." Temari scoffed.
"Okay . . . so tell me, what do you expect from every love story?" Shikamaru asked.
Temari didn't like where this was going, so she said nothing.
"This next scene," Ino said, "Is the fabled kiss!"
"Oh . . . okay." Temari said, she'd been expecting something a bit worse. Yeah, she could kiss Shikamaru . . . she'd just have to close her eyes and picture someone dreamy . . .
"Let's get it over with." Shikamaru sulked.
Temari scowled at him, "I bet you've been waiting for this with lecherous glee!"
"No . . . not really." Shikamaru shrugged and walked out on stage.
"What? Well why not?" Temari demanded and followed suit.
Act V (The Kiss!)
Temari shuddered as she sat besides a well. Or at least she thought it might be a well, it looked kind of like a bath tub.
She waited for Shikamaru, but he didn't show, she figured he'd snuck off and gone back to sleep, or maybe cloud gazing.
The scene had been going on for some time now with no sign of Shikamaru, and what the heck? Temari was certain she'd followed him onto the stage, he'd just sort of vanished.
Suddenly a voice behind her said softly, "Julia, my love."
Temari was expecting to see Shikamaru standing there, but it wasn't him.
It was Ino dressed up like a guy.
"Uh . . . what?" Temari asked.
"The sod has given us the slip, we don't know where he went!" Ino whispered. Aloud she said "Alas my love, I have waited so long to . . . hold your hand with my glove, I do so value our secret."
Temari shook her head, "Well dear Ramon, pray sit, have a scone, they've jelly inside so don't leak it."
"Julia my sweet, I've for you a treat, this ring if you'll be my wife."
"Get out of town, how many beers did you down? I've known you three days of my life!" Temari laughed.
"You're supposed to say yes!" Ino whispered.
"Oh!" Temari blinked. "Dang this girl is all kinds of slutty!" She said a bit too loudly.
Ino blinked, "Uh . . . uh . . . what girl do you mean, Julia you old bean, I think you're acting a bit nutty!"
"Ah, nice save." Temari whispered.
"Thank you." Ino smirked.
"Uh, what I mean dear Ramon is that I'd be like some mean old crone if I refused your heartfelt request!"
"Then our next step is clear, kiss me my dear, yes I think that would be best!" Ino said, leaning in close.
She had to be kidding.
But then if she was that dedicated to art who was Temari to judge? But then maybe art had nothing to do with it and Ino just liked to swing that way.
She leaned forward, the audience became very quiet and expectant, and Temari had to wonder how many of them recognized that Ino was now playing Ramon, how many of the lecherous old men in the crowd just wanted to see two girls kiss.
"Stop right there, you traitorous pair, who dares try to kiss my sister?"
Temari thought she'd look back and see Kankuro, or Gaara . . . it was Shikamaru.
"What the—" Temari blinked.
The real Ramon leapt down from a prop building and didn't break his back in the process, "Julia what the devil, I thought we had something special, but here you are with my evil twin Bemoan!"
"Excuse me?" Ino demanded. "Twin? Now watch it buddy, I am like a thousand times sexier than any sister you could ever have!"
"Well she said she was you, what was I to do? I thought maybe you'd dyed your hair blonde dear Ramon."
"And as for the marriage, I cant afford a carriage, and I'm not buying a bicycle built for two!" Shikamaru said, folding his arms.
"Well that's awfully cheap, you rotten little creep, to think I was going to put out for you!"
"Now what are you trying to accomplish? You don't want this, why did you even come back?" Ino demanded.
"I went to the store, you troublesome bore, oh and I got Chouji a snack." Shikamaru said, holding up a plastic bag.
"Wow, thanks!" Chouji cried, coming out to receive his bag of chips which Shikamaru had gotten him.
Temari raised an eyebrow. Hadn't he gotten her anything? All things considered she liked to think that she was his friend too, and she was kind of hungry.
"Uh . . . well Ramon, since I cant just steal your love it is time to slap you with my glove, me and thee shalt duel for her hand!"
"You do know there are words other than glove that rhyme with the word love, and why did you leave, then come back, that I do not understand." Temari said.
Shikamaru shrugged. "I needed a certain supply, for this scene didn't I? So I went to the market. Realized I'd rather not come back, but had already bought Chouji his snack, so now I'm here again so I might as well park it."
"You left for a supply? You're one weird guy, and what pray tell did you buy?" Temari asked.
"That doesn't matter, and watch out for blood spatter, my evil twin must now die!"
"You seem oddly motivated, suspiciously dedicated, to finishing off this play." Ino said with a dubious smile.
"Motivation and dedication aren't words I put to use, I just don't look forward to tomorrow's abuse, if I slip out and abandon you today." Shikamaru shrugged.
"You do care!" Ino squeaked happily. "Well don't stand over there, come and kiss your sweetheart!"
"Kiss her? I see, well uh about that scene, I was hoping I'd be too late for it, know what I mean? Chouji really can play this role." Shikamaru scoffed.
"He's just shy because he's a virgin." Ino whispered.
Temari raised her eyebrows at the fourteen year old. "You're not?" She demanded.
"What do you think?" Ino scoffed, throwing her long blonde hair over her shoulder.
"I think you are." Temari smirked.
Ino deflated, "You're no fun!" She said, and folded her arms and pouted.
"So what say you Julia, you want to kiss Chouji huh? I mean I'm not worth the effort." Shikamaru yawned.
"You'll do just fine, now grow a damn spine, one little kiss isn't going to hurt." Temari scoffed. She was considering forcing a kiss on him just to spite the ungrateful bastard, I mean here he had the chance to kiss her and he was wimping out? Also he hadn't brought her anything from the store, and she was hungry so she was a little vindictive.
As she considered this however Chouji ran out and shouted, "Will you stop trying to get me to play Ramon?" He shoved Shikamaru forward and the smaller boy flew several feet!
He would have slammed into Ino if the nimble girl hadn't dodged.
Temari however figured she'd take her fan and just use her power to throw him back.
She didn't have her fan, she found, and when she looked up it was too late to dodge!
Shikamaru's face slammed into hers, their lips perfectly aligned so that one might say that they kissed, but a normal person would say that their faces slammed together and blood sprayed all over the audience in the front row.
Temari groaned and Shikamaru held his hand over his mouth.
"Sorry! I didn't mean to shove you that hard!" Chouji cried and ran off.
Shikamaru scowled but Temari grabbed him by the collar and pulled him in for the kiss.
But she was a little woozy after hitting her head so what should have been a dominant, forceful, and maybe slightly passionate kiss marking her–or at least Julia, her role–as the pants wearer of the relationship just ended up in another head but.
"Och, son of a–" Temari groaned.
"Sh' 'ell're joo 'oing?" Shikamaru slurred, holding his head.
"I was trying to kiss you!" Temari said.
"I only like you as a friend." The younger man said, focusing his eyes.
"No joke, I'm not exactly hot for you either!" Temari scoffed.
"Uh . . . I hate to say this, but that didn't count as a kiss, you guys have to do it again." Ino said, waving her script at them.
"Why you little," Temari groaned, reaching for anything that could be considered a weapon.
"Oh! My supplies!" Shikamaru said suddenly.
'Good boy,' Temari thought, 'strangle her with the plastic bag!' But too late, she would kill Ino with her bare hands!
"Julia!" Shikamaru said, and Temari looked at him, eyebrows raised.
"For you my sweet, though I'd rather retreat, and tend to my injuries, just one little kiss, ere this opportunity I miss, so just hold still now if you please." Shikamaru said, Temari gawked.
He reached out and placed his hands on her cheeks, drawing her in close to him, she heard Kankuro gagging, and could almost swear she heard sand angrily stirring.
Shikamaru's lips pressed against hers . . . at least she was pretty sure they did, this didn't feel like a regular kiss. After a moment they seperrated, Ino clapping furiously, Shikamaru continued to hold Temari's face.
She tried to say something witty, but it didn't happen, her mouth wouldn't open.
She raised her eyebrows and tried looking down at her mouth, Shikamaru grinned wickedly and removed his hands, and with them came the duct tape he'd placed over her lips before kissing them.
It kind of hurt. Not too much of course . . . but Temari's scream could be heard on the other side of the village. A series and spears made of sand that had just been about to descend on Shikamaru dissipated, and the Sand kunoichi was certain she could hear both of her brothers laughing now.
"And so love's first kiss, ends with an odd little twist, uh, I guess that's the end of this scene. Ramon and Julia, I'm proud of the two of ya, but don't over do it, y'know what I mean?" Ino chuckled.
Temari scoffed. "That's it, your supply? You troublesome guy, and here I thought you were supposed to be smart!"
"If I wanted a kiss as a general rule, I'd ask to date you like any old fool, You should have known that I didn't want this part."
"Well yeah but taping my mouth? What's that all about? That hurt you lazy ass jerk!"
"Don't act so surprised, the way you leaned in and closed your eyes, man you're a real piece of work."
"You two can stop rhyming now, the curtains closed already." Ino pointed out.
"Now don't you dare think I wanted to kiss, I really don't like any of this, but if you were going to kiss me I'd expect it to be done properly." Temari said, ignoring Ino's suggestion that the rhymes stop.
More To Come . . .
Writer's Note: I find it surprising just how popular this story is in comparison to my other works, I mean what the heck! On it's one week anniversary it already had more reviews than many of my older stories have after a few years, you people amaze me! Seems you really like the rhymes, well this chapter didn't have as many as I'd like since it was mostly finished when I put up chapter 5 and found that they weren't annoying, the next chapter will have more rhymes. Also what Gaara and Lee do on their own time is their business, not mine. I think I fear Gaara too much to ask him to kiss Lee . . . Lee is problematic too since I cant even ask him after getting him drunk as that'd result in my death as well, so we'll just let them be themselves and see what happens.
P.S. Forgive the lateness of my update, it's not that there weren't enough reviews, but I thought I'd already put this up.