Something Like That . . .
Part VII
Scene Prep
"They so made out!" Kiba cried, "Three kisses in one scene!"
"The first two, if you can even call them kisses, were accidental, the third means nothing, our lips never touched." Shikamaru said.
"That was smart." Kankuro enthused, "You're so lucky Gaara realized what you were doing before he murdered you!"
Shikamaru gulped. "See? It's a good thing I didn't really kiss you, Temari." He pointed out.
"Why? Do you think your life means more to me than the raw stinging sensation on my lips now? If you died kissing me you'd die happily, my soft perfect lips would have been my final gift to you."
"Yeah . . . I'm going to go with the whole 'keep breathing' option." Shikamaru frowned.
"Wise choice." Gaara nodded.
"Well what about the play?" Ino demanded, "They have to kiss for the marriage scene."
Gaara considered this for a while, "Okay, he may kiss my sister's hand."
"You're not my father, you're my little bro–" Temari was saying until Gaara raised a . . . well he really didn't have eyebrows, but if he did one of them would have been raised. Temari thought better of what she was going to say and instead said, "I mean, my hand. Right, that's uh . . . that's very good."
Gaara might have changed into a nice guy after the first Chunin exams, and he certainly wouldn't kill Temari or Kankuro, but he could still beat them silly without breaking a sweat . . . or lifting a finger for that matter. While he might not even bother to do that, the two clearly didn't want to take chances.
Yeah, Shikamaru decided he never wanted to annoy Gaara . . . too much.
Ino on the other hand didn't seem to have come to that epiphany, "They need to kiss, on the lips, properly! Why cant they use the duct tape again?"
"Nobody's taping my mouth!" Temari snapped.
"But it'd improve your demeanor so much, sis!" Kankuro said, and then Temari's foot found a home in his stomach.
"Say it again little brother!" Temari said sweetly. She might have lingering fears about Gaara, but she didn't seem to possess any in regards to Kankuro, and the fact that she, the eldest had just been scared into submission by he, the youngest probably made her a little more physical in dealing with the middle child than she would normally have been.
Or she was just a irascible bitch. Shikamaru decided that either way their whole family needed counseling.
Ino shook her head, "Okay, well we'll work on the kissing issue since the marriage scene comes after this one, but try to think of solutions you two!" Ino said.
Shikamaru would do no such thing, though he didn't doubt he could if it weren't too much of a bother. Temari said nothing which Shikamaru hoped didn't mean she was thinking.
"What is this next scene?" Gaara asked.
"The scene where Julia's brothers find out she's engaged."
"That doesn't make sense, why would she tell them?" Kiba demanded. "I mean Ramon just put me on ice, and Akamaru too!"
"I don't hear Neji complaining." Ino said.
"Actually I haven't seen much of Neji . . . or Lee and Tenten since their 'deaths' . . . did they leave?" Chouji asked.
"Uh . . . yeah, probably." Ino admitted.
"Can I?" Hinata asked.
"What? No!" Ino cried.
"How about–" Shikamaru began, but the icy stare Ino gave him shut him up.
Temari smirked, and Shikamaru let it go knowing mentally that he'd win whatever argument he might start with her simply because it was his self appointed team captain, and not his baby brother who had shut him up with unspoken promises of violence.
Of course Ino couldn't crush him in a sand coffin either . . . normal kids just cut their sister's hair off in her sleep. Shikamaru's suspicions that the family might need counseling were reinforced.
ACT VI (No Way!)
So Temari sat at what was supposed to be a feasting table of the Fantasy village . . . or myth, whichever stupid side she was supposed to be on.
Asside from her brothers or rather Julia's brothers . . . well really her brothers who were preteneding to be Julia's–damn it the point is besides Gaara and Kankuro she was the only non-Hinata at the table.
The mass of Hinata clones were dressed in a variety of different costumes, some were male which reminded Temari of Ino. Yes now the mere thought of cross dressing would always bring up an image of the attractive young blonde.
"Brothers dear, listen here, I've a question to press thee."
"This food is all wax, how can I relax? And man do I have to pee!" Kankuro said.
"You're a fool and a pawn, you should have gone, I told you to go before we began." Gaara said calmly.
"I didn't have too then! Plus it smelled like a pig pen, there was a weird sound so I ran!" Kankuro said.
Ino's voice cut in with the narration, "And elegant Julia attempts to tell her dear brothers of her relationship with Ramon, whom she'll soon wed . . . well okay so she's technically engaged to Bemoan, but she did hit Ramon's head so they might as well get married."
"Uh, brothers dear, my words you should hear, I'm not going to wait here all night!" Temari said.
"Hear you we shall, since your such a nice gal, but you should have helped us in that fight." Kankuro said.
"You, me, he, we three will always be family," Temari said, "But there comes a time when a woman must be free–"
"We're sorry he had to die, he was a good guy, but yeah we already know about your relationship with Neji." Gaara said.
"That's not what she means, I think she's trying to spill the beans, about why she helped those Myth Shinobi."Kankuro said.
Temari nodded, "Brothers so dear, something is unclear, why we war with Myth is a mystery to me."
Gaara opened his mouth but apparently didn't think of a good rhyme for whatever he wanted to articulate. Ino came to the rescue, "Julia's brothers give her a long and in-depth explanation of why their county is at war with Myth and why they must remain at war, Julia is satisfied!"
"Uh . . . okay . . ."Temari said. "Well if you put it that way . . . All right, I suppose we've no choice but to fight. So I have a plan in my head."
"Tell us quick sis, because I'm going to take a quick piss, and then go straight to bed."
"Kankuro you ass, don't you have any class? We're sitting down for dinner here!"
"Brothers please don't fight, I have something I must say tonight, something the two of you must hear!" Temari said.
"Julia speaks so you shut up, hey servant, can you refill my cup? More of the hard liquor, I have a feeling I'm going to want to be drunk."
"Yes well your sister has a . . . a plan, to help destroy that Mythical clan, so don't get tipsy yet you little punk!"
"Wait, they have alcohol here? I could sure go for a beer!" Kankuro whispered and raised an interested eyebrow.
"No, it's water, this is a play. Or did you forget, Kankuro, what we've been doing all day?" Gaara said softly, taking a sip of his drink.
"Do you honestly think, I'd let you two really drink?" Temari whispered.
"Does it bother anyone else that we're not talking loud enough for the audience to hear, but we're still rhyming?" Kankuro asked suddenly.
Gaara and Temari stared at him. "We were until you ruined it, you big annoying git!" Gaara said.
"What he said times twenty one, you've ruined the fun." Temari said. Then loud enough for the crowd she said "Gaara, Kankuro, there is something that you should know, I've snared the heart of a Myth village hero."
"So that is why, you were with that lazy guy! Gotta say sis, he looks more like a zero." Kankuro said.
"This interests me, so lets wait and see, what she has to say my good brother." Gaara said.
"Well I don't care what you do, or what he does to you, so long as you don't become a mother." Kankuro said.
"Oh yeah, real nice, what lame ass advice, you're a crappy little brother!" Temari scoffed.
"Do go on with your plan, what will you do with this man? And why must it be him, instead of another?" Gaara pressed.
Temari looked around at the Hinatas at the table to make sure they weren't listening, they were in fact arguing uproariously, it seemed two of them had gotten into a fist fight, for some reason, and Temari didn't know why she felt as if this were something she should have expected from that Naruto kid instead.
She said, "This man I will wed, and then when all's done and said, I will be in the village of Myth of course."
Gaara grinned, "And then you'll let us in, so the slaughter can begin, and to think we were going to try hiding in a horse!"
Temari imagined Julia would try to look pleased and distressed at the same time, so she attempted it and felt her face break down–that feeling you get when you know what you're doing is stupid and so you stop midway through and you look even dumber–she said, "Then you agree? I can marry the Myth Shinobi? This plan meets with your approval?"
"Crafty indeed, we'll carry it out with great speed, and soon the Myth village will suffer fiery removal." Kankuro nodded.
"And so Julia's brothers plot on her lies which they bought," Ino said, "what ever will happen to the lovers next?"
Temari shrugged. Next would be the wedding . . . what the heck came after that? How long was this stupid play?
Offstage
Shikamaru was laying atop the roof of the theater just above the stage next to a sky light. It was nearly evening so everything was getting dark.
He supposed he wouldn't get another chance to do this today, so he stared up at the clouds while listening to the play, thinking on what Temari suggested it was clear that she had something up her sleeve that didn't really have anything to do with the real play . . . but then Ino hadn't given her too much direction anyway. He dreaded the inevitable fact that he'd be taken away from the relaxation of simply watching the evening clouds to act in Ino's thrice cursed play, but wondered, beyond all reason, what would happen next.
More To Come . . .
Writer's Worthless Comments: Once again a thanks to all of you who are reviewing, especially those who are reviewing regularly, seeing the same name of multiple reviews doesn't bother me in the least, it lets me know I've gotten your attention. The whole Ino being his twin thing was something I'd wanted to try for a while, I had this image of Ino being so determined to get the play right that Shikamaru would trick her into playing his role, however in the end her doing it on her own made it funnier, I think. It's always nice to know that what I write impacts people, but don't worry if rhymes don't flow from your mind, I myself spend a great deal of time trying to keep a good flow going and sometimes it's difficult for me.
Temari and Shikamaru are our romantic leads both in the play and in whatever you want to call those chaotic scenes of nonsense outside of the play, so they do care about one another but generally most of the flirting is supposed to come from Temari, and only half of that is serious. I just don't see Shikamaru as the obvious flirting type. Subtle flirting on the other hand . . .
Now the tape . . . I know what you're thinking, and yeah, you're right. I totally got that from Ranma. But I figure Shikamaru is much smarter than Ranma, he could come up with the same idea. But the tape was not the only supply Shikamaru bought, but you'll see what I mean soon. Ino's armor incidentally was also inspired by Ranma, from where Soun dresses for war to confront Happosai, then ends up being too heavy to run away.
I have no idea if it's duct tape or duck tape, I've never considered it, I probably still wont because I'm lazy, but if I had to hazard a guess I'd say duck tape would get me in trouble with animal rights services since I already had poor Akamaru's stunt double get knocked out. If I go around talking about taping ducks the Elite Animal Rights Division of Anbu might show up and execute me.