Disclaimer: I own nothing regarding GWTW
Author's Notes: Thank you for all the reviews and feedback.
Chapter Six
As Scarlett sat in the parlor sipping her glass of brandy, Genie came to her. Genie said, "Do you want to talk about it?"
"Yes, but not here. Go wait for me in my room."
"Of course, Mistress."
After Scarlett was in her room she said to Genie, "Was Phillipe a fortune hunter?"
"I would say yes. As I told you I cannot read other people's minds. Only yours."
"You can read my mind? That is scary."
"Not to worry. I have your best interest at heart."
"Does that mean you will not give me a wish if you don't think it is what is best for my life?"
"No, I will give you anything you ask for although if I don't think it is best for you, I will try to talk you out of it."
Scarlett smiled at the other woman and said, "I guess that means you approved of my two other wishes."
"I most certainly did. Only the harsh reality of what your life with Ashley would truly be like would make you give up your fantasy image of him."
"You are right. I never saw him as he really was. Just what I wanted him to be."
"Do you want to talk about your parents?"
"Not really. There isn't much to say. Pa loved Mother so much that his mind broke when she died but Mother never loved him."
"Mistress, you must remember something when you think of your mother. You must remember that by the time she married your father she had given up on life. She thought her life was over with the death of Phillipe."
"Like Careen and Brent."
"What your mammy didn't tell you was that she had wanted to go into a convent and your Grandpere would not allow it."
"Just like Careen."
"You admired your mother very much and you have strived to be like her, yet you can never be. She was only able to be that way because she was half dead. Remember what your mammy said about her before Phillipe died. She had been like you before the war."
"Yes, I remember her saying that."
"You hold yourself apart from your children because you think that is how a mother should behave but in truth you love your children very much."
"Oh, Genie, I miss Ella and Bonnie so much."
"I know. Let me say one more thing about your parent's marriage. Your father is a special person. He knew that if your mother had not been a heart-broken fifteen-year-old Ellen Robillard would never have agreed to marry him. He could accept that he didn't have all his wife's love and took what he could get. He knew that was all he was going to get."
"I want all of my true love's affections."
"So does Rhett."
"How do you know? I thought you couldn't read Rhett's mind."
"I can tell by his actions and how frustrated he was that he didn't have all of your love. He cannot accept not having all your love."
"Actually, any of my love."
"You love him."
"No, I don't."
"If you didn't love him, you wouldn't even be considering getting married to him again. Especially knowing how cruel and mean he can be."
"Maybe I do love him and maybe he loves me but despite that being married to him would be difficult at best."
"Yes. Living with Rhett would always be difficult but maybe not as difficult once you figure him out with your new skill of perception. Once you learn to let his ugly words go in one ear and out the other."
"I will have to for he certainly isn't going to apologize."
Genie laughed and said, "Probably not. Just remember there is no deadline for using your last wish. Take your time and be sure where you want to go and what you want to do. Goodbye."
As Scarlett tried to make sense out of all the important conversations in her life some of them still made no sense to her. One thing she had already discovered was that all her conversations with Melly had made sense to her at the time. She guessed Melly had always been able to speak to her in a way that she could understand. Of course, Melly could. Melly wasn't trying to make herself feel better by making Scarlett feel stupid. Melly had actually been trying to communicate. Men!
Scarlett would just have to think about the conversations more. She would have to make herself think about hers and Rhett's conversation in her bedroom before the party and all the hateful things he had said. She would make herself think about their conversation later in the night in the dining room. She would not think about what happened afterwards. She would have to think about their conversation in her bedroom when he had returned from Belle's. Did he really leave her bed and go to Belle's bed? Yet she knew that right now she wasn't strong enough yet. She was still reeling from the realization that Ashley had never loved her.
Scarlett had decided to remain in that timeline until she figured everything out. There were so many things she had wanted to consider before she went back to Rhett, and she was pretty sure she was going back to Rhett, but she wasn't one hundred percent committed to going back to him. One of the things she needed to decide, was when in their timeline was she going to return to. Another being how she felt about Rhett. Despite what Genie had said Scarlett wasn't sure she loved him. Was he just someone she was comfortable with? She had to determine this in order to decide how to behave around him.
Of course, she may decide to never marry him. When Frank died, her businesses were strong enough that she would never have wanted for money. Between the sawmills and the stores, she would have enough to support herself, her two children, and all the parasites she called her family. She would not be rich, but she would have a comfortable life. She would, in fact, have a better life than Melanie. It made her really wonder why she had married Rhett at all. For although he was rich, she had already known Rhett would be a difficult man to live with.
There was also the fact that Scarlett had seen the ugly side of Rhett. She may decide that she could not live with a man that was as cruel and spiteful as Rhett Butler even if she understood why he was cruel and spiteful. Even if he never showed her that cruel and spiteful side again. The bottom line was she knew that side was there and could spring up at any time.
Scarlett wasn't sure she could ever forgive Rhett for being blatantly unfaithful with a whore. To add injury to insult he had been unfaithful with an old whore. He could have at least used a young, pretty whore.
Scarlett thought about that. If Rhett had been using a whore for sexual release, he would have used a young, pretty whore. He had used Belle for another reason. She pondered that. She suddenly knew that Rhett had used Belle because the woman wanted him. His pain at her rejection would have been so great that he would have needed to know that someone wanted him for him. Her husband would never have considered the hypocriticalness of his actions. Of course, she knew now that her husband could be as big a hypocrite as anyone else. He didn't want Belle for Belle's sake but the comfort she could provide just as he thought she didn't want him for his sake but for what he could provide her. The bonus to him using Belle was that it would hurt Scarlett so much more when she found out about it than him using some nameless whore. Rhett Butler really was a cruel and spiteful man.
Scarlett paused and thought about Belle. Belle an old whore without much of a future. Did the woman love Rhett? Maybe. But with her insight Scarlett knew that Rhett the man wasn't what Belle really wanted. She wanted Rhett the rich man. Rhett was very generous with his money and probably more so now that Rhett was feeling hurt and unwanted. There wasn't much Belle herself could do to damage Scarlett and Rhett's relationship except be a sanctuary for Rhett. She could be everything Scarlett wasn't. Of course, she could make Rhett think she loved him. Of course, she could be kind-hearted and good-natured. Of course, she could be welcoming. She was a paid actress. At this point all Belle had to be was the anti-Scarlett. Belle knew that she and Rhett had no long-term future therefore she needed to get as much out of her benefactor as she could and if she could she would play the part of the Anti-Scarlett for as long as the role was available. Those thoughts made her feel better about Rhett comparing her to that old whore and the whore coming out better than her. She laughed out loud. How had Belle been better than her. She had a kind-heart and a good soul. She laughed even harder. All her beaus had thought she was sweet, kind, and demure. Besides, Rhett had not pursued her for six years because he wanted a woman with a kind-heart and a good soul. If that was what, he wanted he would have married someone like Melanie. Maybe even the girl in the buggy incident.
No, Belle was not the problem. The problem was her lying sack of poo of a husband. Scarlett paused and wondered why she had called Rhett a liar. She didn't need to wonder why she had called him a sack of poo. That was fairly obvious. With absolute certainty she knew Genie was right. Rhett was a liar and what's more he had been lying to her most of their relationship. He had claimed to not love her when he had proposed to her, and she now knew he had. He had claimed he had felt not a moment of regret at leaving her at Rough and Ready and now she knew he had. He had claimed to be living with Belle, but she knew that was a lie or an exaggeration at best. He was home every night to be available in case Bonnie needed him. He ate most of his meals with them. He spent his mornings in the nursery with the children. She also knew now why he had downplayed their night together as nothing special because he couldn't let her know how much their night had meant to him. The rest of the conversation was just him striking out at her because she hadn't said what he had wanted her to say. Her husband had an expectation during that conversation that she had not met. She would have to think about that later.
Scarlett decided to think about Ashley. Thinking about Ashley was not as painful as thinking about Rhett. She knew now that if she had married Ashley, she would have died a slow death. He was stripping away everything that made her uniquely her. From her taste in clothes to her desire to talk with people. To be entertained with amusing stories. To flirt with men and have them flirt back. He wanted her to behave like Melly, but she couldn't.
Scarlett would have spent the last five years desperately trying to make him happy and when she hadn't, she would have accepted all the blame. Up until she had entered this timeline, she had thought Ashley was perfect in a childish, naïve, fantasy dream like way because only a childish, naïve, idealistic girl would believe that Ashley Wilkes was perfect and find a way to justify all his actions.
Just a few days earlier hadn't she believed she was the problem. She wasn't the problem per se. The problem was that she and Ashley were not compatible. Just like he had said that day in the library.
It seems Ashley was not above brow beating her too and calling her names. She now knew Rhett and Ashley spoke to her the way they did to make her feel stupid. To hurt her in the easiest way possible.
At least, Rhett had never insulted her by calling her Irish like it was a slur. No, Rhett had insulted her in a hundred other ways and especially by calling her, his pet in that mocking way he had.
Scarlett had liked very much the way Rhett had behaved while she was married to Frank. If she could have that Rhett, she would go back to him. She would have to wait and see if she and Rhett could be happily married. She hoped that they could at the very least could be a functional couple.