Something Like That . . .
Part VIII
Scene Prep
Shikamaru sighed as his situation was explained to him. "You've been given permission to kiss her hand, not her lips, and you cant hold her hand for too long either, also don't take her hand, she needs to give it to you." Ino said.
"What a total pain!" Shikamaru said, "No play is worth all this! Now if Gaara doesn't notice Temari giving me her hand I'm going to die."
"No, Gaara is going to be watching very closely, he assures me he doesn't want to kill you, if he did you'd be dead already. It's just his brotherly duty."
"Whatever." Shikamaru scoffed. "Anyone find Neji yet? He can play Ramon now that his first role is dead." Shikamaru said, knowing better than to ever again suggest Chouji play Ramon.
"No he cant, turns out he and his team made a break for freedom, they made it over the electric barbed wire fence so you know they're serious. If they didn't want to be in my play they only had to say so!" Ino shrugged.
"Ino, dear friend, benevolent dictator . . . I really don't want to be in this play." Shikamaru said.
"Tough." Ino shrugged.
"But you just said–" Shikamaru complained but Ino cut him off.
"Ah-ah! They're not on my team, I'm team leader and I say you're acting! If you're a good kisser you might even score a girlfriend out of this!"
"I don't want a girlfriend, one woman running and ruining my life is enough." Shikamaru said.
"You shouldn't say things like that about your mother." Ino pointed out.
"I meant you." Shikamaru scoffed.
"Really? Wow that's . . . almost romantic. Considering it's coming from someone like you." Ino blushed, "Well okay, let's forget the play and go on a date!"
Well that hadn't been his intention! "Look let's just get this over with!" He said, abruptly turning and heading for the stage.
He heard Ino and Chouji laughing, he knew Ino had been joking. Maybe. He just didn't want to take that chance!
He'd take anyone over Ino, heck he'd date Temari before he . . . ooh, so not a good thought right there.
The young man shook his head, "Let's just get this over with." He repeated.
Act VII (The Wedding)
Shikamaru sighed as he entered the scene, it was of a bizarre little wedding chapel with Hinata playing the roles of all the guests, aside from Neji's team, who'd returned-dressed as ghosts, they wore white sheets over their bodies with eye holes cut out, Shikamaru could tell it was them because, let's face it, Neji and Lee's eyes were just too distinguishable from regular eyes, and what girl would be standing between the two if not Tenten?
Kiba was there as a ghost, and so an odd white bundle asleep on the stage next to him Shikamaru guessed to be Akamaru. Chouji came running out from back stage wearing a sheet along with Ino who was quickly applying her Bemoan disguise while trying to keep hold of her microphone.
"Our hero Ramon has come to his wedding, so that later tonight they can test out their bedding–"
"Just stop." Shikamaru whispered.
But Ino did not. "Time now for the marriage and till death do they part, now you'll all see that my play is a great work of art!"
Temari shrugged helplessly, which was exactly how Shikamaru felt as he approached the alter. Both her brothers were there, Kankuro was, it seemed, the one giving Julia away, Gaara was the minister, and Shikamaru's only back up was Ino, who, playing Bemoan and the narrator both at once, would be his best man.
Gosh he pitied himself.
"Hand only, understand? You kiss only her hand, if you touch anything else you're a dead duck." Gaara whispered.
"Yeah, yeah I know, cant you just let it go? I wont kiss her on the lips I'll just–Oh fuck!" Shikamaru gasped.
There was no easy way to say it, but Temari was really pretty in her costume. It wasn't traditional since this wasn't a real wedding, it was a white kimono lined with a silver pattern of flowers, along with a blue sash, she wore her forehead protector around her neck as usual, and it was the only familiar thing about her.
The costume was nice, but she'd have looked beautiful even without it, unfortunately that brought the image of her without any costume to Shikamaru's mind and that wasn't a safe thing to be thinking in front of her brothers.
Her blonde hair was not tied back in its usual four pony tails, revealing that it went just below her shoulders and had clearly been very carefully combed down, leaving it straight and stunning. That also meant there'd be no calling her "Pineapple Hair" for this scene, which was too bad because Shikamaru had thought of a rhyme for that. None the less she looked really pretty, magnificent even.
Her cheeks were an odd shade of attractive red and her eyes–holy cow she was wearing makeup! Not very much, but enough for Shikamaru to notice and feel like maybe he should stop staring at her before it was too late.
"You don't get the picture, you're not going to fuck her, and can you watch your mouth you jerk?" Kankuro asked.
"Yeah, yeah, I know, slip of the tongue's all so let's go, get his over with it's too much work!" Shikamaru said.
Temari seemed to think it was very funny, and said "Well now hey, don't I get a say? I for one could sure use a good lay."
"Not on our watch, if your love life we botch, then we can say we've had a good and successful day." Gaara said calmly.
"If we can stop talking about sex for a bit, I'd really love to get on with this skit." Ino coughed into her first, "The marriage of Julia and Ramon is about to begin, no longer will their love be a terrible sin, with the witness of all of their family and friends, maybe, just maybe the tragedy ends."
"Show some skin!" One of the ghosts–it sounded like Kiba–shouted!
Some annoyed sand blew in their direction, Chouji stomped on Kiba's foot, the beast master shouted in surprise, but nobody died so really they came out on top.
Gaara glared at them, then took a deep breath, "Today we here gather, to deal with a rather annoying matter, the wedding of these two young souls. Ramon and Julia my sister dear, have decided to go and gather us here, after the ceremony we'll have some sake bowls."
"Amen!" Kankuro cried.
"Shaddap!" Gaara snapped. He looked at Temari with slightly narrowed eyes, "Julia of the village of fantasy nin . . . are you sure you want a lazy ass looser like him?"
"Hear you my voice, I am sure of my choice, and my reasons are know to thee."
"Yeah well he's not all that great, and you've never even gone on a date, so I'm rethinking this maybe."
"Not your call little brother, you're not my mother, now get on with the ceremony." Temari said.
Gaara sighed, and gave Shikamaru a look that said if he said "I do" he'd die, but Shikamaru didn't notice since he was staring at Temari again.
It wasn't that he couldn't stop, he could, and it wasn't like she was turning him on or anything . . . well she was but it was under control . . . more or less. The problem was he'd never seen her looking so girlish, and it was a refreshing change. He sort of wished she'd wear longer kimonos all the time, they suited her. Though that skirt she'd taken to wearing was nice too, now that he thought about it.
It was just so new, he was trying to decide what he thought of it. Yeah, that was all . . .
"Ramon you Myth fool, will thou be my sister's tool, her eternal and worthless little slave?" Gaara asked.
"Yeah sure, why not? I mean she is pretty hot, so sure I'll be hers till the grave."
"Sooner than you think if you call our sister "hot" one more time." Kankuro whispered.
"Hey just relax it's only a play, we're not going to be in-laws, at least not today." Shikamaru smirked at Kankuro.
"Well with the power, mind you power vested in me," Gaara said, sand swirling as he said the word "power" the second time, "You can kiss your bride, keeping in mind that she is my sister Temari."
Shikamaru shrugged, went down on one knee, waited a second after Temari offered him her hand–to be sure that Gaara saw that she'd done so, then quickly, painlessly brushed his lips against it.
In that half second that he held her hand and then kissed it he mused at how soft and smooth her skin was.
He rose to his feet and smirked, "Nothing but hand, just like you planned, so do I still need to die?"
"Yes someday, but not right away, I guess you're a trustworthy guy." Gaara nodded.
Temari rolled her eyes, reached out and grabbed Shikamaru, she forced her lips against his without banging heads this time, and seemed to be sucking the air out of his lungs along with the tongue out of his mouth, when she dropped him–he fell to the ground–she wiped her mouth against the sleeve of her kimono and sighed, "That's more like it my love, there you go! This is a wedding, or didn't you know? You don't kiss the bride's hand, you silly little man." Temari put her hands on her hips and grinned, holding back laughter as Shikamaru pulled himself to his feet. She turned to Ino, "My darling Ramon, and his brother or sister whatever the heck you are Bemoan, it is with pride that I join your family."
"That's well and good, welcome to our hood, but I think you've just indirectly murdered me." Shikamaru said.
Gaara was stone faced, Kankuro's jaw hung open, there were some congratulatory, yet sympathetic cat calls from Kiba, "Way to go man! Too bad you don't get to live long enough to do more than that, but you go boy!"
Ino looked concerned, "Uh, Julia dear, you've erred I fear, in kissing poor Ramon on the lips."
"Naw, I know what I'm doing and he'll be just fine, though I didn't think kissing could break a man's spine, he's just lucky I thought twice about placing his hands on my hips." Temari said.
"But now Gaara is going to kill him!" Kankuro cried.
"Stop throwing off the rhymes, Kankuro, the curtains have not closed yet you know!" Temari said.
"Oh what tragedy, to die because of thee, now the Nara clan has lost its only son!" Ino wailed, taking a few wise steps away from Shikamaru as sand swirled.
"Hey now don't freak out, there's no need to pout, if my brother wanted you dead it'd be done." Temari told Shikamaru, who struggled to his feet.
"Actually I've got to say, you're just in the way, you mind stepping back a few paces?" Gaara asked.
Temari blinked, "But hey that's not fair, I kissed him back there, and I only did it to see the look on your guys' faces!"
"I couldn't care less, if the kiss came with or without your behest, I made the rules perfectly clear. Now Ramon face me, I wont let you flee, face me now and show me no fear!" Gaara said.
Shikamaru sighed and turned to face Gaara, after considering it for a moment he gently pushed Temari aside. "All right then let's go, but just so you know, I don't plan to go quietly."
Gaara glared at him for just a moment, before his expression broke into a sort of half grin and with what might have almost been a laugh on his voice he said "Kill you for something so small? Why not at all, I can't believe you took me seriously! It was all just a prank, I wont make you walk the plank, just for kissing Temari!"
"Uh . . . well I guess Gaara made a joke, you leaf ninjas are some damn lucky folk, 'cause he sure scared the spit out of me!" Kankuro shook his head and slapped Shikamaru on the shoulder as the curtains closed and the sand siblings left the stage.
Shikamaru tilted his head to the side . . . Temari had a nice ass too. Not that he ever noticed that sort of thing . . . since women were so troublesome and all that . . .
He spotted Chouji and Kiba coming towards him, the looks on their faces said clearly that they wanted to know what kissing Temari was like . . . so Shikamaru tried to run for it, only to be stopped when Ino lunged forward and grabbed his legs, "Oh no you don't!" She cried, "We want to know what it was like!"
More To Come . . .
Writer's Needless Nonsense: I never thought I'd be good at rhyming until I started writing this, now I might just try some upbeat Goth poetry (this is a joke and a contradiction) As is clear I rather liked the idea of Temari having her hair down for this scene, it made Shikamaru's reluctant marveling over her easier to manage and gives him more to work with in the next chapter. I was a little iffy about Gaara laughing, this story is set just before Gaara becomes Kazekage, so he's a nice guy, but I just cant imagine him laughing very hard just then, which is why he calls it a prank instead of a joke, pranks are slightly mean spirited, jokes are just funny.
At least that's the definition he's using.
Well now you're look forward to the next chapter I hope, remember to review and all that, our story is nearing it's end, but just knowing the ending of Romeo and Juliet (I assume they live happily ever after, I don't really know, I always fall asleep . . . j/k) doesn't mean you know how this is going to end.