Who Has to Know

Part 1:

Mr. Bones and Brunhilda

Brouhaahaan Bones had had a long and successful career with the Ministry of Magic. He was relatively wealthy and was of the age where a man begins thinking of retirement. But first, he had to find a wealthy man for his daughter to marry. It wasn't that Brunhilda couldn't find a husband on her own, she just didn't seem inclined to, and that was disturbing to a man like Brouhaahaan Bones. Single young witches were supposed to think about handsome young wizards. That was just the way things were supposed to be.

When Draco Malfoy first stepped in to Mr. Bones' office, he knew right away that this was the man for his daughter. Malfoy was tall, attractive, young, wealthy, and best of all, single. Of course, Mr. Bones was not deaf. He had heard the rumors about Malfoy being gay, but he didn't believe them anymore than he believed his own daughter when she told him she was a lesbian. Young people these days were misguided and just needed a little push from an older, more experienced man to get them back on the right track. And anyway, he had never seen Malfoy wear anything purple or pink or even rainbow colored. That was confirmation enough for Brouhaahaan Bones.

He therefore began a great scheme in which he attempted, quite subtly of course, to put the two young people together. For a while, they both seemed to resist, but now it seemed to be coming together nicely. Mr. Bones was a great romantic at heart and attributed it all to the fluttering nerves and changing minds of innocent young people. Now, though, there would be nothing to separate them as they finally met under his own roof for a dinner so romantic it would surly culminate in a proposal. Mr. Bones sighed in contentment just thinking about it.

To top it all off, Malfoy, or Draco as he should call his soon to be son-in-law, was bringing along Harry Potter, whom Mr. Bones was certain would be almost perfect for his younger daughter, Mary. Everything could not be more perfect, Brouhaahaan Bones was sure of it.

After checking to make sure the candle lighting was just right, he went to his eldest daughter's door and asked, "Brunhilda, dearest, are you ready to meet your future husband?"

Brunhilda jerked the door open and rolled her eyes at her father. "If you're so in love, why don't you want to marry him?"

Mr. Bones sighed in frustration, and said, "Now, don't be silly, dear. Of course I don't want to marry him. But I am sure you do, deep down in your heart. He is a very eligible bachelor, and quite handsome to boot. I am only doing what I know is best for you…" He paused when he realized Brunhilda was mimicking him.

At the break in her father's tirade, Brunhilda took the opportunity to reinforce a point she had long been trying to make to her father. "But I don't want a handsome bachelor, Daddy, I'm a lesbian. If anything, I want a beautiful bachelorette."

"Now, now, 'Hilda, dear. You don't know what you are saying. Of course you want to marry a nice young man. Now let's find your sister and prepare to meet our guests. I am sure Mr. Malfoy will be very punctual."

As they descended the stairs together in a silence that was neither comfortable nor unfamiliar, they heard the ringing of the door bell, and they appeared at the foot of the steps just in time to see their maid, Hazel, opening the door to an immaculately attired Draco Malfoy and his not so immaculately attired guest, Harry Potter.

Mr. Bones stepped forward immediately to shake Malfoy's hand as soon as the men had surrendered their coats to Hazel. "Ah, Malfoy," Mr. Bones addressed him warmly, "so good of you to come. You know my lovely daughter, Brunhilda, of course."

Brunhilda rolled her eyes as Mr. Malfoy took her hand to kiss it. "Of course, how could I forget one so lovely as she," he said with an air of flattery that Mr. Bones found to be particularly impressive and heartwarming. That made Malfoy's next sentence feel like a cold bucket of water being thrown upon his heart. "And of course, you know my handsome boyfriend, Harry Potter."

Brunhilda's eyes lit up in amusement as they met Mr. Malfoy's over her hand. "B…b…boyfriend?" Mr. Bones asked in shock.

Malfoy turned to smile pleasantly at him, while nodding. "Yes, Mr. Bones, my boyfriend. I thought you knew that I'm gay."

Mr. Bones smiled uncomfortably, "Well, I had heard something about it, yes."

"You see, Harry and I had been friends for many years, but we were both secretly in love with each other. We have only recently…" He trailed off when a barely dressed teenager suddenly appeared pressing herself up against his boyfriend. His eyes narrowed, and he was about to attack but was stopped by Brunhilda's surprisingly strong grip on his new Prada belt.

"Mary…" she said coolly in an attempted warning that obviously went unheeded as Mary turned to rub herself seductively against the hero of the wizarding world.

"So, Daddy," she asked, "is this the one you picked out for me?"

Mr. Bones just swallowed.

Mr. Potter began making a valiant attempt to remove his new attachment. "Um…" he said, glancing briefly at his boyfriend with pleading eyes, "I'm kind of attached to someone else."

Mr. Malfoy stopped trying to pull away from Brunhilda's grasp. "Kind of?" He asked with an arched brow.

Brunhilda sighed. Everything was left up to her, as always. "Everybody freeze," she yelled in an authoritative voice. Everyone looked at her in shock, because they had pretty much forgotten that she was even there. Everyone except Hazel, of course.

"I think I've been pretty patient here, but it is time to get a few things straight." She snickered then, at the unintended joke. "Well, maybe not so straight. You see, Daddy, I am a lesbian. I have always been and will always be a lesbian. Mr. Malfoy and Mr. Potter here are gay. They are together. I am with Hazel. Mary is a slut. We are all happy with who we are. Be happy for us Daddy."

Mr. Bones sat down slowly on the steps. "I am so sorry, my dear. I just wanted so much to see you happy and settled with someone. I guess I forgot to see what you wanted."

Brunhilda smiled. "That's okay, Daddy. I am happy and settled." She reached out to take Hazel's hand. Together, they turned to face the rest of the room. "I think," Brunhilda suggested, "that it would be best if we all left Daddy alone for the rest of the evening. Mary, I'm sure you have a boyfriend or two waiting for you in the garden. Mr. Malfoy and Mr. Potter, Hazel and I know of a great gay bar a few blocks from here. Would you like to join us for a few drinks?"

As Mary slinked out to the garden and the two couples started out the front door, Mr. Bones pulled out his laptop and began a search for single, middle-aged witches. Through the open window he heard Malfoy ask, "So just what did you mean by 'kind of attached?'"