Disclaimer: I own nothing regarding GWTW
Author's Notes: Thank you for all the reviews and feedback.
Chapter Eight
When Sunday morning arrived, Scarlett claimed to be sick just so she didn't have to go to church. She just couldn't stand the minister droning on and on about how she could be a better person. She got up long enough to feed Melanie then went back to bed. Every time Ashley was in the room she moaned and groaned.
After everyone had left the house, Scarlett got up and fixed herself a couple of pieces of toast. She sat at the kitchen table and dip the toast into a small cup of honey. When the toast was gone, she licked the remaining honey out of the cup. She felt as decadent as she had when she and Rhett had breakfast in bed in New Orleans. She cleaned up her mess and got back in the bed.
She wanted to share her honey with the other members of the household especially the boys, but nobody could know about the honey. Ashley would ask too many questions if he found out. Maybe she would think of a way to share it with Mammy and the boys. The boys had been very closed mouthed about the sandwiches.
That night when Scarlett was in the Privy, Genie came to her and said, "It has been a week since your last wish. Do you want to make another one?"
"No, Genie. I have too much to figure out before I return to when or wherever I am going to return to."
"Very well. Mistress, this is the time to ask Rhett all the questions you want to ask him. Right now, he will probably be more honest with you than ever before."
"Like what?"
"Like - why did he insult you by asking you to be his mistress or what are his feelings towards Belle or why did he admire Melly so much or what happened in the buggy incident."
"Or why he hates Ashley so much."
"No, he won't answer that one. He would reveal too much. But you can discern why he hates Ashley."
Scarlett smiled and said, "Yes, I can. Besides the fact that he is jealous of my affections for Ashley he sees Ashley as weak. He and I don't pity the weak, we despise them."
"Indeed. Well done. Goodbye."
Genie disappeared but she was smiling. Her mistress was finally seeing things as they really were.
When Scarlett started her flow the next Tuesday, she moved her clothes and belongings into another room. When Ashley asked her why she had moved her clothes she said, "I'm tired of sharing my bed and my husband with a dead woman. Melly was your true love. I am just the woman that trapped you in a marriage. Nonetheless, we are married but that doesn't mean we have to share a bed. I don't want any more children."
Scarlett got great satisfaction out of denying Ashley his marital rights. After all he had been partially responsible for her denying Rhett his marital rights. Although she didn't think it was going to be that much of a sacrifice to Ashley. They had only done it one time since she had been in this timeline.
"If that is the way you feel, we certainly don't have to do that anymore."
"We certainly can't afford another child on your salary."
Ashley was hurt by Scarlett's comment on his salary, so he said, "This is a promising idea. This way my sleep will not be disturb by your childish nightmare."
Scarlett shook her head and left the room. She honestly didn't care what Ashley wanted anymore. Like so many people who once loved someone once they discover they don't love the person, all the bad habits that they had ignored come to the surface. Scarlett now hated Ashley as much as she had loved him. She hated him for being a coward. She hated him for never speaking clearly. She hated him for leading her on. And most of all she hated him for all the damage he had done to hers and Rhett's relationship, either on purpose or accidentally. She had never lost her image of Ashley that she had formed when she was fourteen. She had always thought him perfect. Despite the fact that she was always berating him for not making more of a profit she had never considered how his lack of action had hurt the people he loved, Melanie and Beau. He was a bad provider because he was lazy and selfish. Melanie had probably never said a word of complaint.
Before she went back in time, Scarlett had to figure out what happened in New Orleans. Rhett had been happy and optimistic that he could buy her love or seduce her love but the night she sighed he knew that he could not. He began to believe that he was just like Sisyphus. His immense boulder had been trying to win her love. Every time Rhett was about to achieve his goal, he just had to start over again. As she looked back on the events, with her new talent of insight, it was plain now that Rhett had thought something magical was going to happen on their honeymoon.
Scarlett thought as she laid in her bed alone. She thought about their honeymoon. She knew what it was. Rhett thought that he could buy her love or seduce her love. Anything but give of himself. No that wasn't right. Anything but expose himself. She smiled in the darkness. Obtuse Scarlett was supposed to figure out that Rhett loved her by all the gifts he had given her despite the fact he had denied cruelly that he loved her, and she believed herself in love with another man. Scarlett said into the darkness, "What an ignoramus my husband is."
That wild night of Ashley's birthday party, Rhett had said he loved her in the dining room. He had said it several times in the bedroom.
Scarlett decided that she might as well think of those conversations as much as she could. It might get too painful, and she would have to stop but she had to start peeling back the layers. She thought about all the cruel things Rhett had said that night about throwing her to the lions and taking a buggy whip to her. She decided Rhett Butler was the biggest hypocrite in the world for despite the fact that he had been shaming her for the last two years with his association with Belle, it was not right for her to shame him in the same way. No, not in the same way for all she and Ashley had shared was an innocent hug while he had put his penis in another woman. Somehow Rhett had believed himself the injured party. Unbelievable. What a hypocrite.
His words in the dining room where more pathetic self-justification of how he was the injured party. She remembered him saying he would like to squeeze Ashley out of her brain. She cringed as she thought about her defense of Ashley. More important Rhett had told her that he loved her. She wondered why he would not tell her. As impossible as it was for her to believe Rhett was scared of her and his feelings for her. He was scared of her brutally hurting him. Scarlett thought, 'That just can't be. It is just too simple.'
She thought of something Rhett had said once and like all his off-hand comments she had not understood it. For some reason, this one he had explained. It was Ockham's razor. It was something about the simplest explanation is usually correct. She would have to ask Rhett about this Ockham's razor to be sure she had it correct. But the simplest explanation of her relationship with Rhett was that he loved her and was afraid of her hurting him through that love.
Rhett was pretty brutal in making sure she never knew he loved her which with her insight meant he had been hurt very badly by somebody that he loved. Scarlett stopped and thought for a minute. Could it be that Rhett had been in love before? Or at least believed himself in love before and the girl had tried to use his love against him. She wished Genie could confirm her supposition. Scarlett would just have to trust her insight.
She thought about his return from Belle's after three days and their conversation. Once again, he had made sure the entire town of Atlanta knew where he was those three days. Once again, he felt no shame in shaming her, but God forbid that she shame him. Scarlett felt herself getting mad and calmed herself down and tried to remember what he had said. Except for him stating he was practically living with Belle; she couldn't remember it. She did remember him looking at her with that expectant look. She remembered wanting to burst into tears but hadn't because she didn't want him to know how much his words had hurt her. She knew then that Rhett had wanted her to tell him how much she had missed him and how worried she had been about him. He had expected her to tell him how wonderful their night together had been.
Scarlett decided in that moment that her husband was totally clueless in regard to affairs of the heart. At least where she was concern. Because only a dimwit would have expected her to welcome him back after his behavior over those last several days. But he had. Unbelievable. She laughed out loud. Only a birdbrain would expect there to be a reconciliation after everything he had done to her. And she guessed everything she had done to him.
Now that she could see the foolishness of Rhett's behavior and that he was an idiot at times she was now seriously considering going back to him. She reminisced about Rhett and the way he behaved during the war and when she was married to Frank. She went to sleep and dreamed of him.
Ashley had heard Scarlett laughing and wondered why she was so happy. It was the first time he had heard her laugh in a long time. He knew he had been unkind and hurtful towards Scarlett, but he couldn't help himself. Every time he saw her, he thought of the fact her actions had killed Melanie. He had told himself that Melanie would probably have died if she and Scarlett had stayed in Atlanta. He would accept that as true but eventually he would go back to thinking that Scarlett had killed Melanie. He did blame her for seducing him in the orchard. If she had been a proper lady, she would have stopped him before they went too far. No, she had allowed them to have relations so he would have to marry her.
Ashley sighed. He should have taken Beau and returned to Atlanta, but it had been easier to stay at Tara. Mammy was taking care of Beau and Scarlett wasn't asking that much of him. He had needed to see Scarlett's worshipping face every morning in order to keep going. He also hadn't had any money for the train ticket to Atlanta.
Nonetheless, Ashley found that he had missed Scarlett's laugh. He missed her in his bed. Part of it was in the dark he could pretend it was Melly, but it was also because in his horrible life her worshiping him had been the only bright spot. He knew the only way he could get her to return to his bed was by telling her he loved her, and he would never besmirch Melly's memory by declaring his love to another woman…. Again. He had enough guilt about having relations with Scarlett in the orchard like a common …. Well, he didn't know what kind of common he was but anything common was not good.
Rhett and Scarlett had fallen into a very nice routine. He joined her every day at the park and brought them food. Rhett brought them sandwiches and cooked vegetables. It made Rhett so happy when he saw the happy smile on Scarlett's face. At least when she was with him, she was behaving more and more like the Scarlett from the war years. She never talked about her husband. Rhett never asked questions. He wanted to pretend that it was just the two of them.
Author's Notes: Zeus punished Sisyphus for cheating death twice by being forced to roll an immense boulder up a hill only for it to roll down every time it neared the top, repeating this action for eternity.