Disclaimer: I own nothing regarding GWTW
Author's Notes: Thank you for all the reviews and feedback.
Chapter Eleven
As Scarlett was walking along, Rhett came up beside her in his buggy. Scarlett looked at the pair of matching white horses and the beautiful new buggy. Rhett had always had the finest things.
He said, "May I give you a ride home?"
"No, Rhett. Too many people would see us together and someone would tell Ashley. I can't take a chance of losing our time in the park."
With a sad look on his face Rhett said, "No that is too important to take a chance on losing. Honey, are you alright?
"No, but let it go. If I say a word, I will start crying."
In a much louder voice, Rhett said, "Have your husband come see me, Mrs. Wilkes."
Scarlett's voice was loud also when she replied, "Of course, Mr. Butler."
The next day at the park Rhett said, "Can you talk about it now?"
"No, let it go." Scarlett was looking passed Rhett's shoulder when she said, "Why did you save his life?"
"Maybe I thought you be so grateful you would give me a physical reward," Scarlett had smiled at him. He turned serious and said, "I don't want him to die until you know you don't love him. I don't want you to turn him into a martyr or the perfect husband."
Before Scarlett thought about it, she said, "He can die any day now if that is the only criteria for him continuing to breathe."
Rhett laughed and said, "Nice to know."
"How did you find out about the raid?"
"The Yankee officers were discussing it as we were playing poker that night."
"Openly?"
"Of course, they thought I was a loyal Unionist."
"You aren't loyal to anything except maybe to the cause of Rhett Butler."
Rhett smiled and said, "I can't believe you remember me saying that."
Scarlett smiled back and said, "Only because I was shocked that you were being so open in your lack of loyalty to the South."
"The South has never been loyal to me."
"Rhett, thank you for bidding all that money so I could dance. You knew me so well even then. By accepting the dances, the hospital got three hundred dollars for supplies. Did anyone say anything about that? No! They all just condemned me for dancing so soon after being out of deep mourning. If I was out of deep mourning, I was out of deep mourning. That is why they have a time limit on how long one is supposed to mourn someone. Saints alive."
"Honey, they are all just judgmental hypocrites."
"I know. What did you think of Melly?"
"She was a great lady."
"Go on."
"She reminded me of what I thought proper society was before I realized that they were all hypocrites."
"Yes, every last one of them."
Rhett didn't know that Scarlett was including him in that group also.
He continued, "She was nice, kind, thoughtful, and never said a mean word about anyone."
"Yes, she was."
Scarlett now understood Rhett's feelings about Melly. She represented the life he had left behind and that he would never be a part of again. Partly because he had been disowned and partly because he was too jaded. Just as Ashley had represented the life she would never have again. Partly because the war had destroyed that life and partly because she was just too jaded also.
Scarlett liked Melly but she and Ashley were parasites. They would not do what they had to do to survive but they would be happy to live off someone who was doing what needed to be done to survive. At least Melly had given her loyalty and praise.
Rhett said, "What is wrong with your father?"
"His mind broke when Mother died. That night you leaving me at Rough and Ready wasn't the worst thing that happened to me. When I got home to Tara, Mother was dead, Pa's mind had broken, my sisters were still sick with Typhoid fever, all but three of the slaves had run off, and there wasn't anything to eat on the entire plantation."
"I'm sorry that happened to you."
"I wish you had stayed with me."
"I certainly should have instead of pursuing some bizarre idea of honor."
When Rhett turned pensive Scarlett said, "Although I don't know what you could have done. There weren't any gambling halls or sporting houses in the county."
Scarlett laughed after she said it. Rhett laughed also and his good mood was restored.
She changed the subject by asking him about Paris and London.
When India went visiting, she heard the most awful thing. Scarlett had been seen repeatedly in the park with Rhett Butler. As soon as India got home, she confronted Scarlett about the rumors.
Scarlett said, "Yes, I see Rhett in the park almost every day. You know I take the children there every morning. You know we were friends during the war. We are friends now. If we were doing anything naughty, would we be meeting in broad daylight for everyone to see."
"Scarlett, you must stop. If Ashley finds out he will be so mad."
"Let him get mad. For the last five years, I have tried my best to be a good wife to Ashley. I have changed my personality, my style of dress, my mannerisms, and almost everything about me trying to make him happy. You know it is true. I will never make him happy because I am not Melanie, nor do I now want to be. There is only one Melanie. She was one of a kind. This is not the life I was supposed to live. This is not the life you were supposed to live. But it is the life we are living. I am going to be as happy as possible. If seeing my friend makes me happy then I am going to continue seeing him no matter what anyone says."
"Don't say I didn't warn you."
"I feel a case of the vapors coming on. I think I am going to have a sip of brandy. Do you want one?"
India smiled and said, "No, thank you."
After she left the room, Scarlett did indeed pour herself a large sip of brandy. In an act of defiance Scarlett had poured herself another glass of brandy about fifteen minutes before Ashley was due to arrive home. India looked at her and just shook her head.
India made the decision to not say anything to her brother about Scarlett's activities. She hoped Scarlett would wise up and stop of her own accord. She hoped Ashley would never find out. India knew that theirs was not a happy marriage. She knew that Ashley was constantly throwing Melanie up to Scarlett as a better person and a better wife. He did it so often that India actually pitied her sister-in-law.
That night after supper as everyone was sitting in the parlor, Ashley said, "Scarlett, I told you not to drink brandy. Melanie would never do that."
"You are right. Melanie would never have done that. But I had an attack of the vapors and needed a glass to settle my nerves."
"You may be Irish, but you don't have to drink."
Scarlett stood up and said, "I am retiring."
As soon as she was in her room Ashley was right behind her. He barged into her room. He said, "Do you understand me? You will not drink anymore despite you being Irish."
"I wasn't drinking because I was Irish. I was drinking because I am married to you."
Ashley's face turned crimson. Scarlett knew he was embarrassed but he was also mad. She had seen more emotion from Ashley in these last three and a half weeks than she had in the twelve years before.
"How dare you talk to me that way?"
"I'm sorry. I thought you wanted the truth. I'm not going to pretend anymore. I tricked you into marriage, and I got what I deserved. You got what you deserved by never telling me the truth in a way that I could understand. Please leave."
"I will not tolerate you talking to me that way."
"What are you going to do about it?"
"I am your husband. You will obey me."
"Make me," Ashley stared at her. Scarlett stared at him defiantly. Finally, she said, "I didn't think you would do anything. You are too much of a coward. Now, leave my room."
Without another word Ashley did leave her room. She had been right. There wasn't anything he could do to make her obey him.
Scarlett shook her head. If Rhett Butler couldn't make her obey him than Ashley Wilkes certainly wouldn't be able to.
The next day while Scarlett was in the privy, Genie appeared, she said, "Mistress, you need to be careful and not push Ashley too far. He just might snap and hit you."
"Ashley would never hit me. That would be ungentlemanly."
"Please, listen to me."
"Alright, I will try not to aggravate Ashley anymore, but it is so much fun. I know why Rhett does it now.
Scarlett's life had fallen into a routine. She made breakfast, she went to the park with Pa and the boys, she met Rhett, she went home and did her chores, she read the books Rhett had bought her, she contemplated her future.
Scarlett looked forward to seeing Rhett in the park every day. There were a couple of days that he had not been there. She consoled herself by telling herself that something had arisen, and he would be there tomorrow. When he was there the next day, she was always so happy. She was not being coy. She needed him too much for that. She couldn't do without seeing Rhett every day. It made her feel so good when he explained why he had not met her the day before.
The next day, Rhett was not there when she got to the park. After about thirty minutes, she saw him strolling up to her. The smile she gave him was a mile wide. She wanted to hug him, but she knew they could not touch each other. Rhett said, "I'm sorry I am late. A breakfast meeting took longer than I had planned. The other businessman would not shut up."
"It is alright. You are here now."
The boys ran over, and Rhett said, "I'm sorry. I didn't have time to stop and get you a sandwich. Tomorrow for sure."
Wade said, "It's okay, Sir. We understand."
After the boys ran off, Rhett said, "If the deal was not going to net me over a thousand dollars, I would have gotten up to leave."
"I understand. You are such a smart businessman."
When Rhett puffed up with pride, Scarlett realized that she hadn't even done that for Rhett. She had not given him praise for the things he did so well. Rhett, of course, turned it into a joke, he said, "Thanks for the crumbs from your table, Mrs. Dives."
Scarlett remembered Rhett saying that on their honeymoon. She hadn't understood it then and she certainly didn't understand it now. She said sharply, "What does that mean?"
"It means I am grateful for everything you give me."
"What is it from?"
"The bible."
"Have you read the bible?"
"Of course, all well-educated men of the South have read the bible."
"What passages is it referencing?"
"Luke 16: 19-31."
"I am going to go home right now and read it."
"Don't go home yet. I don't know why you are mad."
"Because I think you are mocking me."
"No, Honey, I'm not," As Scarlett stared at Rhett, he smiled and said, "Maybe a little good-natured teasing. Please don't leave yet. I just got here."
Their time in the park was too important to Rhett for him to be his normal remote unconcerned man. All he had were these moments.
Scarlett smiled a smile of forgiveness. She said, "I will go home and read the passage but for now let's enjoy what little time we have left."
"Of course, my dear."
"Rhett, tell me of your first love."
Rhett smiled. How could he tell her that she was his first love? Yes, there had been women that he had thought himself in love with when he was a young man. There was that girl Becky that had let him touch her breast, the first whore he had been intimate with, the countess in Paris, or even Abby the wife of one of his business partners. In the end he had not truly been in love with any of them. This woman in front of him was his one and only love. He would never tell her until she told him she loved him first. She already had too much power over him.
Rhett replied, "I've never been in love."
"Liar but I will let it go today. You will tell me sooner or later."
Rhett had not responded to her statement. He told her about his breakfast business meeting.
That evening Scarlett did read the passages from Luke. It was clear that Rhett saw himself in the role of the virtuous beggar and her in the role of the selfish, rich man. She had remembered him saying that on their honeymoon. Was he already feeling neglected then? Yes, he was. One thing she knew about Rhett was he would not be ignored. That was why he had done those mean things to her the first year they were married. To get her attention. What was the old saying - Negative attention was better than no attention at all.
Scarlett smiled. Not a particularly good plan but that was her adorable ignoramus.