CHAPTER 20

Meredith finished her shift without anymore confrontation with her old friends; although Izzie, George and herself did get caught up on old times, ending their conversation with the two asking Meredith about her living situation while watching a surgery from the gallery.

She was so tired she completely forgot about her breakfast with Derek. It wasn't until she got to the lobby on the way out and saw him sitting in the exact same chairs where they had first met that she remembered.

"How was your shift?" Derek asked, getting up from his seat.

"Exhausting." She answered back.

"Where do you want to go for breakfast?"

"Actually, I'm super craving a Denny's Grand Slam."

"Sounds good. Lets take my car because I have to be back at the hospital in a couple of hours for a surgery. Then I can drive you back here to your car?"

"God, it never stops does it?"

"No; but I believe I did manage to get more hours in the on-call room than you did."

They walked to Derek's car and spent the ride talking about Boston and Dartmouth. Meredith made sure to exclude the parts about her partying and guys she had been with.

Once they got in to Denny's and ordered their drinks, it was Meredith's turn to ask questions. "Addison seems nice," she started.

Derek was surprised by the question, almost forgetting there even was an Addison. "Oh yeah, she's great." Talking to the girl he once loved, possibly still loved about his current fiancé was awkward for Derek. All Addison knew about Meredith was that they were friends.

Meredith felt the same awkwardness Derek felt and changed the subject to Burke and Christina because she knew Christina wasn't going to tell her anything about her life anytime soon.

"Preston and Christina have actually been engaged for about an year now. They fought the chief hard for Christina's internship here" Derek said. "They're going to wait until Christina's internship is over to plan the wedding; Didn't Christina tell you any of this?"

"Christina currently isn't talking to me."

Derek looked concerned, "why?"

"I really don't want to discuss this here," she said.

"Ok, well, how about we get this food to go and then we can go to the trails or something; like we used to?" Derek suggested.

Meredith nodded, knowing it was going to be nothing like it used to be.

GAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGA

As they walked along the familiar pathway to the view of the city, nothing but the direction they were going was the same. There was no hand-holding, or pauses for short kisses. It was completely foreign to Meredith.

When they made their way to the clearing, they sat at a picnic table and Derek asked, "What really happened to you in Boston Mer?"

Meredith knew she had to talk about this; and at that moment, sharing the past seven years with Derek seemed so right.

"I really don't know. During my second year I had a party-girl room mate. She dragged me to everything and she found my soft spot for Tequila. Before I knew it, I was going to these parties by myself, getting together with guys," Meredith pretended not to notice the jealousy on Derek's face, "sleeping in and skipping classes… I stopped returning everyone I knew's calls. I didn't want to explain why I couldn't tell them about my morning classes." Meredith tried to hide tears in her eyes.

"What changed and brought you back?"

Meredith told him about the story of the little girl she had met during her Med School rotations and that she came back to Seattle because her mother was leaving the house unattended.

Just thinking about her mother, sitting in the nursing home all alone made her sob.

Derek pulled her closer to him and she buried her head into his shoulder. "Whats wrong Mer?"

"I just didn't think that coming back here was going to be so hard." She cried.

"Shh, its ok, I'm here for you. I'll always be here for you." He soothed, silently wishing that he could pull the girl that haunted his dreams closer and kiss away her pain.

END CHAPTER 20!