Surprisingly, Sasuke reached the border without further incidents. There wasn't even an ambush when he rested for the night. This was going far too smoothly for his liking. While he didn't trust the peace, he also found himself disappointed by the lack of entertainment.
If they gave him just the slightest reason to kill again, he knew he would, without hesitation. He couldn't help but think he should have killed the group of attackers one by one until one spilled who sent them or why they were sent, although he definitely took the safer route by not doing so. It just felt like such a waste.
'Pathetic.'
He'd never cared for the symbol on a headband before. If he was attacked, his enemy was done for. For a long time standing in his way had even been enough to get killed over. He'd either grown soft or he really was the monster Konoha thought him to be.

Thanks to their new alliances, Sasuke didn't even notice when exactly he'd crossed the border into the Land of the Rivers because there really wasn't a visible border these days. Just the change in landscape reminded him that he had changed territories.

Just to make sure, he activated his Sharingan once again. There was no one around him in close proximity. For a short moment there was a spark of joy in him when he thought about how he'd rub it under Kakashi's nose how easy this mission had been, but then he remembered their relationship wasn't like that anymore.
'I hope you never find out how much I miss this.'

He decided to make it further into the land and take a hotel in one of the bigger cities. In his experience, the bigger cities were much easier to stay in because there was a lot more anonymity and he didn't want to risk having to leave in the middle of the night without shelter. Although they were allies now, it still felt like enemy territory to him.
In a town people would likely recognise him, in a city he hoped he could be just a random nobody. He hid the Uchiha crest under a cloak long before he entered the city just in case someone saw him and he wouldn't notice without his Sharingan.
He wore a headband that wasn't his, no one had scratched through the symbol of the hidden Leaf on this one. Being recognised as a Konoha-nin was supposed to make it easier for him to find shelter in ally territory, or so Naruto had told him, because apart from the mission he still didn't feel safe in the neighbouring countries. Even less so than in Konoha.

His plan didn't work, judging by the looks of the receptionist at the hotel, but him paying up front for the night was enough for them not to bother him any further. Good thing he'd remembered to ask Naruto to borrow some money for his journey.

He only caught a few hours of sleep before leaving the hotel in the early morning while it was still dark outside. Staying there in the first place had been a big risk to his mission, but he'd only had two other options: Sleeping somewhere in the woods close to the border and making it to Suna in one day from there or sleeping in the desert without much shelter from the harsh autumn weather. Both had seemed like a bad choice, considering he didn't know his ways around in the Land of the Rivers like he did in Fire.
But if their suspicions were right, he'd be a fool to believe that his stay in the hotel would go unnoticed.

When he reached the border to the Land of the Wind, it was still dark and the desert was awfully cold in the dark. Sasuke couldn't imagine that anyone would live here by choice.

Just to make sure, he scanned his surroundings again for possible enemies, but it somehow felt even more eerie to see that there was no one around at all.
Since he was well on the schedule he'd made for himself he decided to slow down for a while.
With the stress of feeling watched and followed gone, his mind was free to concentrate on other things, such as how he would meet Gaara again in a few hours and the fact that he still didn't know what to expect from this whole ordeal.
He only really knew Gaara from the time of their Chuunin exams and he'd been nothing short of a creep back then. How he'd made it to Kazekage was beyond him. Then again, the same could probably be said about Naruto if you exchanged creep for idiot.
And yet here they were, a new generation of Kage.

As soon as the sun rose, temperatures started rising as well and with hardly any shade it almost felt like summer again, a stark contrast to the much colder days he'd spent in Konoha.

He arrived at the gates of Suna in the late evening. Getting closer he recognised the figure at the gate as Temari, whom he'd gotten to know back then when they'd met Gaara for the first time.
"Sasuke", she greeted him, "come with me."

He nodded and followed her through dark alleys until they got the Kazekage building. They didn't exchange any unnecessary words.
As they entered the office, Sasuke couldn't help but think that it wasn't too different from Naruto's. Just a bit more tidy.

"Thank you for coming."
Gaara motioned for him to sit down and Temari left the room.

"I find it hard to be thankful for the invitation."

Gaara raised his eyebrow.
"You haven't changed much, I see."

There was an unnecessary burn to the statement, but Sasuke was sure he wouldn't get away with attacking the Kazekage, let alone in his own office, so he let him have this one.

"I'm surprised they really sent you alone", Gaara went on. "This will make your journey back very unpleasant."

"Unpleasant how?"

"You understand what you're going to be taking back with you?"

"Documents", Sasuke answered truthfully. "That's all I was told."

Gaara's face looked almost amused by his statement.
"I wouldn't have taken Naruto for someone who sends a shinobi he doesn't trust on this mission."

"I fail to see the humour in this."

"Excuse my rudeness", he finally said. "You fell out of favour with a lot of people through your actions."
He made a short pause.
"Can I offer you something to drink?"

Surprised at the eventual hospitality, Sasuke only nodded and Gaara immediately got up, got them two glasses and a bottle of sake.
"I am in no position to judge you, though", he said, as he poured each of them a glass as if to remind himself. "We all have our own demons to fight and some of us do worse than others."

Sasuke took a sip, the sake feeling heavenly on its way down his throat.
"Thank you", he said, not sure if he meant the drink or Gaara's words, because it sure felt good to hear them.

"If Naruto chose not to tell you about the contents of the documents, I'm afraid I can't tell you much more about them but that they include important information regarding an ongoing infiltration of the governments of Suna as well as Konoha, possibly more. The reason I tell you this is that it gives us reason to believe that there are many people who want to stop the transfer of these documents between the countries. Let me tell you this not as the Kazekage, but as a fellow shinobi; the list of suspects is long. If we are right about only one third of them and half of them have organised to try and stop you from getting back to Konoha safely, I doubt this is going to go very well. While I have no doubt in your capability to fight them off one by one, the sheer number of them could overwhelm you."
He took a sip of his sake, before he went on.
"As the Kazekage I have a proposition for you. While I know that one reason for sending you on your own would be so you can go undetected more easily, I also know that it's highly likely word about you coming here has long since gotten to them. It is in my interest to find out if any Suna-nin are among them, so I would like to accompany you on your way back into the Land of the Fire."

Sasuke's eyes widened at his words. Gaara really had changed. Probably even more than Naruto. Although Gaara said it was in his interest, he knew that was only partly true. There was no reason for him to come along in person.
"Thank you", the Uchiha said, before finishing his glass.

"I know the pain."
Sasuke believed his every word. For the first time in forever he didn't feel talked down on or lied to. He hated to admit it, but it touched something deep inside him to not be treated like a monster for once. If that was the real Gaara, Sasuke could absolutely see why Naruto would pick him as an ally and a friend.

They continued their talk for a while with Sasuke telling him about the ambush shortly after he'd left Konoha, until Temari interrupted them, so they wouldn't lose track of time. Gaara only thanked her and asked her to prepare a team of ten to escort him and Sasuke back to the Land of the Fire.
"Oh, and send a message to Naruto, announcing our visit to Konoha and my wish to speak with him personally."

With them going all the way back to Konoha with him there was really no purpose anymore in this mission. Like that, Gaara could have just went and delivered it himself from the start.
'Does it make you this angry? Should I be angry?'

Temari nodded.
"When are you planning to leave?"

"I think we can afford to let Sasuke rest tomorrow after his journey here. We'll leave the day after tomorrow at dawn. Will you be so kind to direct Sasuke to our guest house?"
He looked at Sasuke. "If that is okay with you?"

'More than okay.'
"I would appreciate it."

"Make sure to tell Temari what you need to eat and drink, so we can get it for you without you having to walk around the city on your own. Just in case."

It was really more than he could ever ask for.

"Have a restful night", Gaara said, as Temari went to leave.

"Thank you." 'For everything.'
Then Sasuke followed the blonde the short way over to Gaara's guest house.

The next day he woke up to the sun shining onto him through the window. For the first time in ages he'd slept decently. This corner of Suna was really quiet at night, so there was no noise to keep him awake. Temari had also assured him that their security was top notch and that he didn't need to worry, and for some reason, he'd absolutely believed her. Gaara had seemed so sincere in their conversation, he couldn't find a reason not to trust him. It was a strange feeling, really.

The knock on the door startled him.
"I have food and water for you", Temari said from outside the door and Sasuke felt himself relaxing again.

He got up, threw on his shirt and opened the door to let her inside.

"Thank you very much."
He meant it.

"Don't think for one second that I'm something of a servant to be ordered around, though", she warned him. "I only do this, so you don't have to walk around outside and we don't have to get any more people involved than necessary."
She sounded cheeky, but Sasuke couldn't sense any hostility on her.

"I know and I appreciate it."

"You may rest for the remainder of the day. I will come to you if there is anything to discuss and when sun sets, I will take you back to Gaara's office, so you can discuss details with him."

Sasuke nodded and with that, Temari handed him a bag and then she was gone again.

The day went by slowly with nothing to entertain him. Sasuke's mind was racing for most of the time, trying to figure out how things would go when they went back. Something told him it would be wiser to mentally prepare himself for a huge battle. Gaara had sounded really concerned when he told him about their suspicions yesterday and the fact that he'd technically told him classified information gave him even more reason to worry. But it also made him angry. It made him angry at Naruto for letting him go on this mission. It made him angry at Kakashi for making him go. And it made him angry at everyone involved for not planning this through thoroughly. When his journey had remained peaceful for the past two days he'd even stopped thinking that he'd been set up, but Gaara's speech had brought it all back.

When he'd told Gaara about the first attack, he'd reacted worried. An attack this early into his mission could very likely mean that their opponents were organised enough to send inexperienced people out first in order to see who they were up against. It would give them the advantage of knowing Sasuke travelled alone and that they had to prepare to fight against an Uchiha. While being a display of his power the war had also been a perfect show of Sasuke's capabilities and even though he was undoubtedly one of the strongest shinobi, knowing his techniques would help the enemy prepare strategies and there was also still a good chance of them outnumbering him if he continued to travel alone.
Gaara had told him that he hoped for them to stray from striking again when they saw that their assumptions were wrong and Sasuke wasn't alone on his way back. Although he was interested in finding out who was behind this, he hoped for them not to have to spill unnecessary blood.
'There are other ways of punishing people than injury and death.'
His words had stuck with Sasuke. In his world, there weren't. He'd lived his past years killing out of revenge and people who dared cross him he'd considered unworthy of life. He wondered how Gaara had been able to move past all the hatred that had lingered inside him when they first met all these years ago. If he'd been able to move past his bitterness, maybe there was a way for Sasuke as well. Just maybe there was hope for him.

Shinobi were always expected to have their emotions in check, so they didn't cloud their minds on any mission. Yet, reality showed that most of them were far from free from the burden of emotion. Especially high ranking missions such as this one required absolute secrecy. But how were you expected to process trauma if you couldn't talk about it?
'Trauma.'
Was he traumatised? He'd never considered himself traumatised, but thinking about it he showed clear signs of it. So did Naruto and probably all the others, too.
They'd been through a war, for fuck's sake. Seeing all this misery and death certainly hadn't made them harder. It had just left them more scarred.

Sasuke hated the silence. He hated it, because it always gave room to such thoughts.
He didn't want to think about all this, he didn't want to remember.
'Remember.'
As soon as he noticed what was happening, it was too late already and images began flooding his mind. The things Orochimaru had done to him returned to his mind in the most unpleasant way.
His fingernails were digging into the skin of his wrists, while he remembered being cut, being bound, being injected with fluids he never found out the names of.
All the abuse just to turn him into a stone cold killer. He remembered how happy Orochimaru had been when he'd lashed out at Kabuto one time intending to kill him and he remembered how long Orochimaru had waited until he'd stepped in to stop him. They'd had to chain him to the wall and use several different types of binding jutsus on him in order to restrain him. And then Orochimaru left him like that for days until he'd had Sasuke at his feet, begging for water and food all pathetically.
The first two days he'd fought and tried to get away, but then his body gave in, when there was no more energy left in him. He couldn't remember how many days went by after that, because it had felt like his soul had left his body for most of them, leaving his body an empty shell, immobile on the ground and only held up by the chains around him. And they'd left him like that until one day Orochimaru had decided to come into the room and ask him if he was willing to cooperate again in exchange for being unchained. He'd even removed his blindfold as some sort of sick power play. But Sasuke hadn't dared to use his Sharingan on him. He remembered feeling his body ache and his soul resigned, and so he'd begged for food and water, not even for being let go.

'Pathetic', he reminded himself as the warm, red liquid streamed down his arm and brought him back to the present.
It had taken him a lot of work on his wrist in order to pull him out of his memories, but he only noticed it now that his breathing started to even out and he began to feel himself again.

With his legs still shaky he got up and went to the bathroom in order to clean himself up. Only then he noticed that his shirt was drenching in sweat.
In a way he was glad that it happened here while in the security of four concrete walls surrounding him and not somewhere outside.
'I need to get a grip.'
He couldn't afford zoning out like that, not on their way back and especially not in battle.

After cleaning himself up and changing his clothes, he found himself sitting by the window, staring into the nothingness that lay behind it, hoping to pass the time until Gaara would summon him to talk without another incident.

He still wondered why the Kazekage had decided to come back all the way to Konoha with him. It didn't make sense, except for if they thought they wouldn't be able to draw out their opponents if Naruto or Gaara had made the journey themselves from the beginning. He did wonder though, if Gaara had personal reasons as well, because he'd certainly seemed angry when he'd found out that Naruto had indeed sent him on this mission by himself. Gaara had really begun to intrigue Sasuke. He'd remembered him so much differently than he was now and it gave him a new perspective that maybe people could repent and come out okay on the other side.

As he waited he tried hard not to think, but his mind kept spiralling back to hurtful memories. He hadn't let them get to him for months now, but he had to admit that they ripped open old wounds that had never truly healed. He didn't know if they even could anymore. It was fucked up to think that there really wasn't any real care system for shinobi. They were just expected to see the horrors of this world and deal with it.
The wounds on his arm had started to form scabs and while he was trying to avoid going back into Oto in his mind he began picking at them, making them bleed all over.
He was a mess.

His salvation came when the sun had finally set again and there was a knock at his door telling him Temari had finally come to escort him back to the office.

In order to hide his pathetic attempts to cope with the demons inhabiting his mind, he'd thrown over a long sleeved shirt, just hoping blood wouldn't seep through it and make anyone notice his weakness.

He didn't speak a word with Temari, wasn't in the mood to, and although he knew this would be a briefing, he was surprised by the amount of people in Gaara's office. He remembered him asking for a team of teen, but hadn't expected them to really come.

"Thank you for coming here", Gaara finally said, when Temari closed the door behind them.
"This is our friend Sasuke Uchiha from the Hidden Leaf", he told the others, pointing to Sasuke, who had to admit that his choice of words felt good in a way he'd never like to admit openly to anyone.
"He was chosen to bring some important documents to Konoha and since I have personal business to sort out there, I will be accompanying him. You were summoned here because I ask your support and protection of the both of us on our way there. I picked you, because you carry my trust and admiration for your past services to Suna. This mission will mean a three day journey to Konoha, if there is no hold up on the way and I'm looking at a stay of another three days there. With our way back this will mean a total of nine days for us. You will be accommodated well in Konoha and will only need to pack supplies that can hold for the duration of our journey. Konoha will equip you for the way back."
He took a deep breath.
"I have to ask you to prepare for battle, because I suspect to run into opponents on our way, but sadly I cannot give you any more specifics for reasons of secrecy. We will leave at dawn."
He made another short pause and no one dared to interrupt him.
"If you want to step down from this mission, you may leave now. There will be no repercussions and I give you my word nothing will be held against you in the future."
The men and women in the room looked at Sasuke and each other as if they were contemplating their options, but none of them left.
After another moment Gaara had given them to think about it, he spoke up again.
"Your bravery means a lot to this country and me especially. You may now ask questions if you need to."

"Kazekage", a woman spoke up, "is there any further information on our opponents?"

"On his way here Sasuke was attacked by ninja from different countries and areas. We might be looking at allied forces of rogue ninja here, but I'm afraid there is not much information about them yet. I hope to acquire more, if we run into them on our way."

"Why would they attack us?", another wanted to know.

"Sasuke has been sent here on a retrieving mission of high rank. We suspect some people might be trying to hinder communication of valuable information between Konoha and Suna."

"Understood."
And with that, no further questions were asked.
Sasuke really began to admire Gaara for his style of reign. And his people obviously did, too.

"We leave at dawn, meeting will be at the gate. Please be on time and scattered, so we don't attract unnecessary attention."

They all nodded.

"Dismissed."

Temari let them outside and, after a look at Gaara, stepped outside as well and closed the door behind her.

"Sasuke", Gaara spoke to him, "these are some of Suna's best warriors. They have fought in the war for us and have proven themselves worthy. I have no reason to question their loyalty. I hope you trust me enough in this decision."

"I do."
Somehow he really did.

"Good. Get some rest now, I will do the same. I'd suggest you ask Temari to look at your wounds, before you leave."

'Fuck.'
Sasuke looked down at his sleeve, now noticing the stain himself.
"I will, thank you."

Gaara gave him an understanding nod.
"We all suffer, you know", he said. "We need to look out for each other more. In the end, we're all we got and no one knows as well as fellow ninjas."

Temari took a look at his wounds and helped him with bandaging them properly without asking any questions. While Sasuke could tell that she was only doing this for Gaara, he still appreciated her help. They even made some small talk and it really felt foreign to him these days. Usually no one just talked to him without purpose like that. He hated to admit it, but it felt nice to be treated like a normal human being for once.

He didn't really want to question it, but he suspected they'd gone through a lot with Gaara for them to end up here like this and somehow, he'd earned their respect.
He seemed like a very good leader from what Sasuke could tell judging by just what he'd seen and the loyalty of his people.

After Temari left, he went to bed almost instantly, dreading the next day. Dawn felt incredibly close all of a sudden.