They met at dawn, scattered as per Gaara's request and left with Sasuke leading the way. The desert hardly offered any places to hide, so they'd opted for greater distance between each other, but Sasuke doubted that they'd not be recognised as a group. On the other hand it gave them the advantage of seeing opponents early, so they weren't in any risk of being ambushed without them noticing early on.

The warming up desert almost felt nice to travel through this time. Maybe it was because he'd been able to recharge a little in Suna. He couldn't help but feel sad about leaving.
Somehow, he'd really liked it there. He felt no rush at all to return back to Konoha, which should have been a warning sign to him.
Although Naruto was there, the village felt foreign. Reconnecting with his emotions in Suna had made him realise just how bad life in Konoha would be for him in the future. He'd probably never be able to leave the house without having to fear for his wellbeing, and if sending him on this mission was Konoha's way of treating him, he wasn't sure if anyone would really feel repercussions for attacking him on the streets. The village held no love for him.
'They all hate you.'

Why he still wanted to return to Naruto was a mystery even to himself. He found himself running after the blonde's affection just like Naruto had run after Sasuke for the past years before the war. Maybe Naruto not chasing after him anymore was what started him chasing after Naruto in the end. People always tended to want the things they couldn't have.
'Pathetic.'

When they'd almost made it out of the Land of Wind he could feel himself tensing, sensing chakra that had not been there before, so it could be no one of their group. He'd felt them all during the briefing and there was no way he wouldn't recognise them.
More and more chakras entered his reach and it dawned on him that even with a group of twelve, their opponent would outnumber them. He tried hard to focus on every single one of them in hopes of figuring out how strong they might be and from where they would attack, but there were awfully many.

With their scatter tactic having failed, Gaara and his team rejoined Sasuke.
"There's at least 40 of them closing in on us", Sasuke informed them. "Some of them are using masking techniques, so I expect them to be well trained."
Masking techniques were advanced techniques to confuse the opponent in order to be able to creep up on them, but they couldn't fool Sasuke.
Although he hated using the Rinnegan, because he felt like he didn't deserve it, he'd decided to rely on it for this mission and tried not to let memories of the battle that made him acquire it come back to him.
While he was okay with risking his own life, he couldn't allow his stubbornness to cause a risk to his team mates and he owed them to use whatever power he had for agreeing to join him.
For all he knew, they could well be risking their lives on this mission.

"I think they're getting ready to strike", he said.

Gaara's face darkened.
"From where?"

"Everywhere."

He'd barely said it when people became visible all around them, rounding them up like sheep to the slaughter.
Sasuke could see Gaara trying to look at as many of them as they were nearing, as if trying to spot certain faces among them.

Instinctively they'd moved together with their backs to each other, facing the opponents.

"What do you want?"
Gaara sounded unimpressed at the situation, just as expected of a Kage.
It was also a good tactic to deter the enemy from attacking. Maybe they could talk this out. Unlikely, but Sasuke guessed that Gaara wanted to try taking the peaceful route first. A thing he'd never been able to do himself.

One of the opponents, a bulky man stepped forward.
"We only want the Uchiha. The rest of you are free to go."

Gaara chuckled.
"We didn't come here with him just to leave now. What do you want from him?"
It was weird to let someone else speak for him, but for some reason, Sasuke didn't dare to take the word from the Kazekage. He'd never been one to just accept authority, so maybe it was for the fact that Gaara had proven himself to him during the past days.

"If you decide to stay, we will have to fight. You know that he's carrying something that could be of importance to us."

"Who is your leader?"

"We have no leader. We are just people who are fed up with choices made against our will regarding the peace in this country! It used to be a much more peaceful place without people from anywhere just being able to come into the country. They're using up our resources and they're stealing our jobs!"

At this, Sasuke couldn't keep silent. They were really trying to destroy the peace he and the others had fought so hard to create. It brought up an anger within him that he could hardly fight back.
They'd lost so much in this war, their families and friends had given their lives and these people had the audacity to try and destroy it again.
"You really think everything was better when we still had conflict everywhere?"

The man now looked at him.
"It's trash like you that we want gone! We know what you did, Uchiha!"

His Mangekyou Sharingan activated almost instantly when he threw himself at the man, starting a chain of people jumping at each other.
He knew Gaara would probably give him shit for this later, but he didn't care as he drew his katana.
For him time went by slowly, as he closed the distance between him and the man, but he was much too fast for anyone to stop him.
The man flew onto his back on impact and Sasuke stood on top of him, pressing the blade against his chest. It took him an unnerving amount of restraint not to finish him off right then and there. At a blink of his eye, a circle of black flames surrounded them, keeping the others at distance.

"Talk shit like that again! People died for your freedom and you want to destroy it?"
He shouted at the man, whose eyes were still widened in shock, but he composed himself when he realised that he was in fact still alive.

"It's this kind of violence that really proves our point", he snarled.

"Sasuke! Stop this!"
Gaara's reprimand got through to him as he began swallowing his anger and put his blade away.
The flames disappeared and he stepped back to let him get back up.

The man grinned at him, then looked around at his team.
"What the fuck are you waiting for?", he shouted at them. "Get him!"

Sasuke had often regretted his decision to accept the arm transplant, because he really didn't deserve it, but in situations like this he couldn't help but think that he'd be in deep shit if he didn't have it. When on the command all of the surrounding people threw himself at him, he almost wished for one or two additional arms.
Luckily, Gaara's team was fast at his side to help him fight them off, but the sheer number of people going for him made the situation incredibly messy.
It was Gaara's sand that stopped blades from cutting into his back side, when he fought off people in front of him. He'd really wanted to honour Gaara's defensive strategy and try not hurt anyone when he'd resheathed his katana, but with the chaos that had just broken out, he saw red.
He let Amaterasu ignite the ground around him and couldn't help but feel pleasure at the screams of their enemies that came into contact with the black flames. He knew there was no way for them to put them out if he didn't do it, but with his demons awakening in him, he let them burn.
'Die!'

Somewhere distant he thought he heard his name being called, but he could barely make out any words as he detached himself from the person he wanted to be and went back to who he was best. If they wanted to see the monster in him, he would show them.

In his blind rampage he found it hard to tell enemy and friend apart and something in him just hoped the wrong ones wouldn't get too close.
'Keep my distance!'

Blood poured from his eye as he summoned Susanoo, a violet rib cage forming around his own body. It moved with him as he attacked opponents separately, content with the fact that there numbers were decreasing rapidly.

Time was no longer a familiar concept to him, faces stopped to matter. He couldn't tell who he was attacking and if they put up a good fight or not, because he just fought for the sake of drawing blood.
For months he'd kept his anger repressed, pushed it down whenever it flared up. When Naruto attacked him, he'd felt it bubble up, something in him was always ready to go, but he kept it sealed away just like Orochimaru had kept him for days and like Konoha had, when he'd returned from the war. Naruto had been welcomed as a hero, while he'd been thrown into prison, bound and sealed and left to rot all alone with only his demons whispering in his ears until their whispers turned into screams. He'd silenced them when they'd let him out, wanting to keep a low profile, wanting to adjust. When Kakashi had told him that it would be best for him to leave the village again, he could have ripped his face off, but he didn't. Instead he'd ran away. He always had.
'I'm done running!'

As Susanoo continued to form around him, he felt the familiar pain in every cell of his body, but the pain wouldn't stop him. It never had.

When he drew his katana through another of their enemies and heard him scream it did nothing to stop him. Their screams kept him going.

He only stopped when no one came at him anymore.
Only then his mind started functioning again and regret set in immediately. He fell to his knees, Susanoo still surrounding him. Why did he always end up killing again, no matter how hard he tried to avoid it?
'Why do you keep pushing me to the edge?'
He didn't want this, but people just couldn't leave him alone. Did they not see that they were making him do this?
Sasuke was ready to take the blade to his own body, but he knew Susanoo wouldn't let him, so he just dropped it in defeat.
He took a look around the battle field, blood staining the glistening sand.
It was a crooked work of art and he was the artist.
'Depraved.'

There were no more people standing except for Gaara who was slowly coming up to him, seemingly unsure if it was safe.

Sasuke closed his eyes and the flames and Susanoo disappeared.
"Are they gone?"
He sounded like a frightened child and in a way, he was. They all were nothing more but scared kids, even Gaara. But life had required them to grow up in days when the war had hit.

"Yes, Sasuke, they are", he told him with a sigh.

"What happened?"

Gaara just shook his head and held out his hand for Sasuke to grab and help him up.

"I would like to say that we didn't lose anyone", he finally said, "but those were shinobi from my country."

"Is the team okay?"
Sasuke suddenly found himself caring about them.

"Yes."
Relief.
"I ordered them to keep a safe distance when you stopped listening to me."

"Am I in trouble?"
There he was again, six years old.

Gaara's hand was still holding his. He hadn't let go.
"You're troubled, but no. They attacked you first, they clearly stated their intent to kill you. I can clear you of any guilt for reasons of self defence."
He let go of Sasuke's hand and pointed out a few cuts on his torso where his clothes were ripped, as if to show him how little damage he'd received.
"If you were justified to kill them, though, is something you'll need to discuss with yourself."
While Gaara's intentions with Sasuke were good, he couldn't hide his dismay.
"As I told you before, there are other ways of punishing people than killing them. But you'll learn this one day." A look of defeat stained the Kazekage's otherwise kind face.

When they caught up to the others who'd hidden pretty far away, no one said a word.
Sasuke wanted to thank them, but he knew it would either come across as 'thank you for helping me kill them' or a sarcastic thank you, so he chose not to say anything.
Gaara took five of them aside and after they talked, they left back for Suna, probably in order to report.
During their fight the sun had begun to set, but with no clouds in the sky, the moon would light up the desert enough for them to make it back safely. They knew this country like Sasuke did the Land of the Fire after all.

"We're close to the border. I suggest we cross and make camp in the woods where we are more sheltered than here", Gaara reasoned and his people nodded.

Guilt began gnawing at Sasuke when they continued their way, following close after Gaara this time. It was probably the best idea to leave the lead to him from now on.

When they'd found a place for the night, one of Gaara's people volunteered to keep watch, so the rest could catch home sleep and they could change shifts each hour until dawn.
Sasuke was tired and his body ached all over, but he couldn't fall asleep. Instead, he found himself looking at his arm, or the one that wasn't technically his. He knew he'd be less useful in battle without out, that was why he'd taken it in the first place, but he couldn't shake the feeling that he'd deserved to lose his arm for trying to kill Naruto, even after fighting side by side with him against Kaguya.
He'd tried to kill him many times, always chickening out at the last minute, because he couldn't bring himself to do it. It was ironic really, because his initial reason for wanting to kill him was to rid himself of the emotional attachment. Caring was never an advantage and love was for the weak, or so he'd thought. And when he'd finally been ready to end their bond, Naruto's power had surpassed his own and he was sure the blonde could have ended him then and there if he'd wanted to, but of course he hadn't delivered the final blow.
Sasuke couldn't bring himself to see it as mercy, because to him it was pure torture, still having to walk this pitiful world. The loss of his arm had humbled him and he'd been ready to continue his life, if he had to continue it, letting it remind him of his wrongdoings everyday.
This arm that wasn't his only reminded him of a failed resolve. He was a failure overall.

"You should sleep."
Gaara sat down next to him.

"I should", he answered.

When he felt Gaara's hand on his shoulder it made him flinch in the first instant, but Gaara didn't pull away.
"It won't do you any good to lose sleep over the things you can't change."
The Kazekage sighed.
"Trust me, I've been there and it never helped. Relax your shoulders, you deserve to rest."

His words hit Sasuke like a brick and only then he realised how tense he was. As he relaxed his shoulders, it felt like the weight of the world had been lifted from him. Even if it was just for a short moment, he decided to allow himself to feel okay with life and himself. It was stupid that he needed Gaara's permission for it, but he just let it be. Just for one moment, before he could drift off to sleep.

Dawn came without anyone asking him to take over their watch. Most likely because none of them trusted him after seeing him lose control the day before. He couldn't hold it against them.
He didn't trust himself either.

Gaara gave them a quick briefing for the day. The plan was to cross through the Land of the Rivers into Fire and make it as far as daylight would allow them. He told them he wasn't sure if there would be another attack, but that it wasn't entirely unlikely.
No one questioned Gaara and Sasuke really found it admirable. He made a mental note to ask him how he'd been able to go from being who he was when they first met to being so well respected over a bottle of sake one day.

As they set to leave, Gaara took the lead again, but they continued travelling together. They'd been found out about already anyway, so they might as well take the safe route and stick together in case of another ambush.

Suna had been nice, but Sasuke had to admit that he felt at home again once they entered the first forest in the Land of the Fire. These were the trees he'd learned to jump through as fast as he could now, making him a very fast traveler on his own. He knew his routes through them and found it easy to dodge branches. His Suna team mates were slower than him, because they had to be much more cautious.

The feeling of returning home overcame him and he found it weird, how after all this time, Fire still meant home to him. He couldn't even say that he looked forward to his return to Konoha, because he really didn't. But the familiarity of the landscape made him feel much more safe than the desert, now that he thought about it.

No matter how much he hated it, he had to admit to himself that after all this time, Konoha was the closest he had to home.
He couldn't say that he had not considered moving somewhere else, but he'd always told himself that there was nowhere to go anyways. Now, that he'd been welcomed to Suna like that, he couldn't just use that excuse anymore, because he was sure, that if he asked, Gaara would offer him a place to stay in Suna. But for some reason he didn't ask.
For some stupid reason he still felt so deeply connected to the village that took his childhood, his family and his friends from him.
Deep down inside of him there was still a glimmer of hope that had never died. There was still hope that things could get better and that there was a future for him. It was the only reason he kept going everyday. It was the only reason he never succumbed when the demons came back at sunset, telling him how depraved he was and how pathetic it was to keep on going.
Although his resolve kept getting weaker with every whisper to take the easy way out, he'd never done it.
He still clung on to the hope that dawn would come soon enough and shut them up for another few hours, allowing him to rest his weary head. And no matter how bad it got, dawn always came and brought back the light.

He remembered hoping for the light of the next day to come soon as well as he remembered praying for rain on other days. And he remembered being sad, angry and desperate and it made him realise that none of that had really changed. He kept living day by day hoping for things to get better, because eventually they had to.
'They have to. Right?'

The day went by uneventful, but that was no reason for them to relax yet, because the night could still be dangerous. If Sasuke was the one to attack, he'd have done it at night, because it gave him the advantage of seeing their chakras move, even if he couldn't see his opponents that well. But that also made it a bad idea for anyone to attack them at night.
He didn't feel as on edge as he had the night before, probably because they were back on home grounds, so this time, he offered to keep watch for the first shift and without giving anyone else the opportunity to say something, Gaara agreed to his idea.
Trust. It felt much better than he'd liked to admit.

But when the others went to sleep, every rustle in the woods started to make him nervous. Not for his own sake, but because he had the responsibility for the group and it felt like too much to carry all of a sudden.
He told himself that it would only be an hour, but he knew it would feel like ten.
He didn't anticipate any attacks tonight, figuring his opponents from the beginning of his journey wouldn't be coming back for a second round, but he couldn't shake the nervous feeling picking at him. Maybe it was paranoia, but there was far too much movement in the woods for his liking.
He scanned them thoroughly, feeling as far as his abilities would let him, but there was no one close to them, not a single human chakra to be felt, so he closed his eyes briefly and allowed himself to relax a little, Gaara's words from the night before ringing in his ears.
As he sat with his back against a tree, he let his shoulders fall, but a sound right next to him had him tense up again immediately.

A rabbit. He let his hand drop away from his kunai pouch, almost finding humour in the fact that he'd nearly thrown one at the poor creature.
Still, he didn't allow himself to relax for the rest of his shift.

They were only hours away from Konoha and yet, he couldn't say that he was excited to return. He still had to tell Gaara that there was no rush to get there during daylight, but he figured the Kazekage had already taken that into consideration when telling them that they could sleep longer, get a good night's rest, before they continued their journey the next day.
There was no way Sasuke would cross the gates during the day and expose himself to the people.
He didn't really fear anyone hurting him, but he feared their stares and their judgement. He knew, when push came to shove, that he could defend himself, but he didn't want to have to do it. He also knew that if he were to hurt someone from the village, even if they'd attacked him first, no one would believe him and he'd probably be even more of a monster in their eyes.
At this point, he knew that he couldn't act right, no matter what he did.
'Everything you do is wrong.'

The worst part was that he couldn't even be angry at them, because they were right. They had absolutely no reason to trust him, especially when he couldn't even trust himself.
The battle in the desert had once again made him realise how easily he could lose control. He could probably snap at any time. Maybe they were right for locking him away. Maybe Orochimaru was right for chaining him. He should have never let him go again. Sometimes he wished he could go back.

Before his thoughts could spiral out of control again, he grabbed a kunai from his pouch and rammed it into his clothed thigh in a quick motion, clenching his teeth at the pain in order not to make a sound. He was pulled back to reality by the sharp pain igniting him.
There was no way he'd let a stupid memory, let alone the same one over and over again, compromise the safety of his team mates.
He could allow himself to go off the deep end when no one else depended on him.

Cautious not to make a sound, he removed the blade, wrapped the wound in a bandage he'd carried on him and applied pressure with his hand for the bleeding to stop sooner.

The rest of his shift was uneventful, as he kept following the moon with his eyes in order to be able to tell when an hour had passed.

When he woke up Maki, who'd offered to take over after Sasuke, she eyed him suspiciously and then whispered: "Were you attacked?"

As he shook his head, he could see her brush a thought aside.
"You can go sleep now, thank you for watching", she finally whispered.
Sasuke couldn't help but think that they were all far too kind with him.

"Thank you." He nodded to her and then went to make himself comfortable for rest.
With his body still exhausted, sleep found him fast this time. He would need it, for the next day would be the hardest of his journey.