A/N: Someone asked how many chapters this story would have. I don't know for sure yet, but I have it planned out to be around 20. Hope this helps.
Again I want to give a shout-out to my amazing beta, FlameoHotwife! This story would be riddled with grammar errors without her. Plus her feedback on characterization, pacing, and plot lines has all been invaluable—she's the best!
…..
The knock on the door startled Aang, even though he had been expecting it.
"Come in," Aang croaked as he quickly stood. His throat was unexpectedly dry, his voice coming out strangled. Aang had to clear his throat and repeat himself again before the words came out loudly enough to be heard on the other side of the thick mahogany doors.
Zhao opened the door and swept into the room, followed closely by a single guard holding the elbow of the Reason for Aang's nervousness: Master Katara, cuffed and blindfolded.
After what he had seen in the Physician's Wing, Aang had expected the chains, but he scowled at the blindfold.
"Can't have this one knowing her way around the palace; and certainly not knowing the way to your rooms now can we?" Zhao answered Aang's unasked question.
Aang's eyes widened in understanding. He nodded once.
Zhao's eyes swept over Aang's nighttime robe and he grinned. "I see you are dressed appropriately." His conspiratorial look made Aang's stomach turn uncomfortably. He hated this ruse, but he hadn't known a better way to be able to spend time with Katara privately.
Aang looked down at the ground, knowing that he was blushing by the heat in his ears.
Zhao laughed. "Don't worry, I'll keep your little secret. In fact," Zhao motioned to the guard, "Captain Li here will stand guard outside your door tonight. If you finish with her before morning just hand her off to the good Captain and he'll return her to her… quarters." He said the word with thick irony. "Your usual sentries have been reassigned for the night to keep those in the know about this little affair to a minimum."
Aang swallowed uncomfortably, and gave a small bow, his eyes still averted from his mentor. "Thank you, Counselor Zhao."
Zhao stepped forward, placing a set of keys into Aang's hand. "These are for her restraints. Use them. Or don't…" He laughed again raking his eyes over a blindfolded Katara - her night-dressed frame, hair flowing down her back. "Whatever you prefer."
Aang looked at the keys in his hand, disgust and rage flaring in his core. But he stamped the feelings down. He had to play this right.
Zhao continued, "Now don't let your nighttime activities wear you out too much, Aang. I'll remind you that you still have sunrise meditation with the Fire Sages in the morning. Can't let recreation get in the way of your duties." Even without looking at him, Aang could hear the teasing smirk in Zhao's voice.
Aang felt a little sick, but he forced himself to look up steadily into his mentor's face, fixing a smirk of his own onto his lips. "Of course, Counselor. I'll be sure to get plenty of rest."
Zhao laughed loudly and clapped Aang affectionately on the shoulder. "I'm sure you will!"
Then with a motion to the Captain, they left, leaving Aang alone with Master Katara.
The latch on the door clicked shut loudly. Then silence.
Aang's stomach flipped nervously as he turned his attention towards his waterbending master.
Katara stood stock still, listening intently. Her body was crouched slightly, her cuffed hands raised in front of her, as much as the chain from her feet allowed. Aang easily recognized her stance as the best approximation of a defensive waterbending pose she could manage with her feet and arms both chained.
Aang swallowed nervously. "Um… Master Katara?"
He hadn't known it was possible, but Katara stiffened even more. "Avatar," she finally responded, the word laced with hatred and warning.
"Let me just…" Aang began towards her reaching for her blindfold. She startled at first, but then stood still long enough for him to remove the black cloth covering her eyes.
He uncovered fierce blue eyes that looked at him with utter, seething hatred.
But Katara only locked eyes with Aang for a moment, because a second later, with a movement of surprising speed and grace (given her chained legs), Katara took a turning step backward, an ice-dagger appearing like magic in her hands – did she just pull water out of the air? – and stood, crouched even deeper, with the razor sharp tip of her blade jabbing dangerously between herself and Aang.
She didn't speak anything that her expression didn't already tell him. If you touch me, you die. Aang's heart dropped in shame.
"This isn't what it looks like, Sifu." Aang said, raising his hands in surrender. "I'm not going to hurt you."
"Like hell!" she shot back.
Aang's heart dropped even further, knowing she had heard the entirety of his conversation with Zhao.
His hands still up, Aang opened his palm to show her the keys Zhao had given him. "These are for your… restraints. I can take them off for you."
Katara's wild eyes darted to the keys and then back to his eyes. Her glare deepened.
They stood that way, neither moving for another long moment, before Katara's gestured with the ice-knife to her cuffed legs. "My feet first."
Aang swallowed nervously before stepping forward and crouching down in front of her, his hands working the key into the lock on one of her ankles. Aang felt a cold drop of water from the ice dagger drip down his neck. She could kill him right now, Aang realized. A fast, powerful thrust downward and she could send the knife through the back of his neck. Aang swallowed again and quickly removed the second ankle-cuff.
"Now hand me the keys," Katara demanded icily.
Still crouched and keeping his eyes on the ground Aang brought his hand up slowly above his head, the keys dangling from his fingers. Katara snatched the keys and scurried backward, putting Aang's large desk between herself and him. The ice-dagger dropped to the ground, shattering as she worked the key frantically into the lock on her hands. A moment later the chains fell heavily to the ground with a clunk. Katara turned gracefully again, the water from her broken ice-blade pulling back up into her hands, combining with more water from the humid air to form a short, jagged ice-spear that she held menacingly with two hands.
Katara's eyes darted around the room, taking in her surroundings for the first time. They looked at the door, the windows. The humongous red bed. Then shot back to Aang, taking in his casual attire. Katara glared even colder; angry tears formed in her eyes.
"I'm sorry Master Katara," Aang apologized as he stood slowly, keeping his hands up and open towards her. "This is not what it seems. I don't intend to…"
"You will keep your hands off of me, do you understand?!" Katara interjected seriously, jabbing the ice his direction. An angry tear slid down her cheek which she rubbed away quickly. "I am nobody's play thing, and if you so much as move too close I will end you where you stand."
As a man who spent a huge portion of his time training, Aang couldn't help but see the ways he could subdue her in a fight— he had both four elements and physical strength over her if it came to that. But of course it wouldn't. He didn't think he could ever hurt Katara. Nor did he intend to test her tenacity.
"It won't come to that." Aang said softly. "And I never intended to… to touch you."
Katara looked to the window again. The blackness outside testament to the late hour. "What exactly did you intend then, Avatar?" she asked, her tone still laced with threat.
Aang choked on the sudden emotion in this throat. What did he intend with all this? This wasn't turning out at all like he'd thought it would. He regretted dragging her into this situation. He had not thought this through.
"I just… I just wanted a chance to… talk with you," Aang said.
"Talk with me?" Katara asked, skepticism heavy in her voice. "In your bedroom. At night. In our nightclothes."
Aang glanced down at Katara's light nightdress, her hair loose and waving down to her waist. She looked beautiful. Which made Aang's face burn. He felt embarrassed by their informality.
Shame filled him. He knew what he had asked Zhao for. And it was exactly what Katara assumed.
His mind went back to another night in this room a few years ago, when he'd come home to find a woman waiting here for him. Counselor Zhao had said he'd prepared "a gift" for him in his room, but he hadn't said what. The woman had been strikingly beautiful, her full red lips matching her low-cut silk robe. But when Aang had tried to speak to her, she wouldn't say a word—perhaps she'd been instructed, like most everyone else, not to talk to the Avatar—instead she had only come to him, touching him. She'd pulled his hair loose and run her fingers through it; her other hand untying his sash. Her seeking mouth and body stirred him.
But he'd scrambled away from her, bolting for the window. In his haste to get away he'd tripped on the windowsill and ended up falling head first into the rose bushes below. His airbending had kept him from any real injury, but his open shirt had gotten tangled in the thorns and in his hasty efforts to untangle himself, he'd both left his shirt in the bush AND fallen into the adjacent fountain. Zhao still liked to tease him about how ridiculous he'd looked trying to get back into the palace scratched, half-dressed and soaking wet with leaves and branches stuck in his wild hair.
Aang took the teasing amiably enough. But he'd also made it clear to Counselor Zhao that he was not interested in any more "gifts" like this. Aang was aware that it was common for Fire Nation royalty to take concubines. But he just couldn't.
Monk Gyatso and the other monks had always been open about sex, and its important part in the natural cycle of life, as well as the bonds it could create between two people. So it wasn't ignorance that had sent Aang running for the window. It was how Gyatso had warned against fragmenting oneself—doing something with your body that you didn't do with your whole heart and mind as well. It wasn't that Aang wasn't attracted to the woman—quite the contrary, he absolutely was. But the idea of being like that with someone he didn't even know, someone who didn't know him… It had filled him with an intense loneliness, an isolation he could hardly bear. And Aang knew that if he'd stayed there with that woman, only one part of him would have been fulfilled. He would have fragmented himself selfishly. And that felt empty.
Aang looked at Katara now, her hands gripping the ice-spear, her eyes narrowed. She thought he was going to force from her what he hadn't accepted from the concubine. He knew he had never intended that. But in all appearances, he was the only one the wiser. He needed to help Katara understand!
"Please, Master Katara, I don't… I only asked Counselor Zhao for… this… because he wouldn't have let me… I mean us… if he hadn't thought…" Aang didn't know how to explain. "Listen, I promise I won't hurt you. Is there anything I can do to help you trust me?"
Katara looked around again, her eyes falling on the heavy chains she'd just shed. She gestured to them with a tilt of her head. "How about you put those on?"
Aang's heart sunk through the floor. He imagined picking up the chains, the sound of them locking onto his wrists, the familiar cold weight. His hands began to shake, but he tried to stop them, rubbing his forearm instead. As much as he wanted to give Katara what she asked for, he couldn't go back to that.
"I… I'm sorry, Sifu. I can't."
Katara snorted derisively. "Afraid to switch places, huh?!"
Aang's chest contracted, like he was drinking in air through a straw. His hands rubbed distractedly. Yes, he was afraid of the chains. Even now he felt the familiar childhood terror of being trapped and cold and alone. For a child of the Wind, the restraints filled him with a hungry, clawing dread.
"You feel superior, do you? Like you get to demand I come here, because of those?" she gestured to the chains again. "Aren't you special. Being a free and privileged Prince must be just so—"
"You can't imagine what it's like to be me!" Aang cut her off, his voice louder than he'd intended. "It's not like that. I'm not…" free is what he was about to say, but he cut himself off.
Aang knew he needed to hold his tongue. He should be grateful for his life here, and that he didn't have to wear chains like he deserved. He knew the Firelord had been very generous with him. But it didn't change how trapped he felt, like he was every bit as much in bondage. Everywhere he went, everyone he interacted with— he could tell that things were carefully controlled, meticulously censored. He knew the Firelord wanted to keep him safe, but it felt overwhelmingly stifling.
Master Katara narrowed her eyes at him, as if trying to decipher his sincerity. "So what do you want from me? Why did you bring me here?"
Aang thought about these questions. Why had he brought her here? What did he expect out of this? Aang recognized a hungering ache within him. Something in his soul. He wanted a connection, a human connection. To form a bond with someone that didn't demand something from either of them.
"I wanted to… talk with you."
"To talk?" Katara's voice emanated disbelief.
"Yes! Talk!" Aang answered. "You know, somewhere without a Yuyuan archer ready to shoot you in the back if either of us gives the impression of doing anything besides waterbending. To be in a place where everything we say isn't overheard and analyzed."
Katara's eyebrows rose slightly. She stayed in her defensive crouch, but she rotated the ice in her hand unsurely. Her tone was more unsure when she spoke, "You just want to… talk?"
"Yeah. And maybe eat something." He gestured to a small plate of tarts and a fruit bowl on the desk set near an elaborate tea set. Aang rubbed the back of his neck shyly. "Or play a game…"
Master Katara's brow furrowed, "Play a game?"
"Sure," Aang smiled and shrugged one shoulder. "I love games!"
….
Master Katara cocked her head; she understood the words the Avatar spoke, but at the same time she didn't. Maybe her wildly thumping heart was interfering with her hearing. He'd brought her here to play a game?! She didn't think she could possibly believe that.
Katara glanced at the Avatar's giant red bed again, before narrowing her eyes. "What kind of game?" She had heard the Avatar's not-so-subtle conversation with Counselor Zhao, and her heart had plummeted even as it had begun to pound painfully.
Katara had traveled all around the world; she was not unaware of the dangers that pressed themselves on any young woman who couldn't defend herself. Katara knows she was lucky, in a way, to have found Zuko so early; because it was always safer to travel in a group, and, frankly, Zuko didn't tolerate people giving her trouble (back then he hadn't tolerated people in general very well, but especially those who gave her trouble). Even so, Katara had had some close calls, and she'd learned to defend herself, even when traveling alone.
But in circumstances like these? As a prisoner? Fighting against the single most powerful person in the world?! She knew that even in the unlikely event that she managed to kill him, she would lose her life one way or another.
Katara wasn't blind; it'd been pretty obvious that the Avatar liked her, that he had a crush on her. But she hadn't expected him to do something like this! She had thought that he was… different. But perhaps life as a Privileged Prince had made him entitled. When you have the world in your hand, you get used to taking what isn't given freely.
But he wasn't doing anything aggressive at the moment. Katara rotated the ice-spear in her grasp, the cold biting her hands. The Avatar eyed the spear, and opened a drawer in the desk. "Well, I'm not really supposed to have these as they are 'an inexcusable waste of valuable time'," the Avatar said, imitating Counselor Zhao's drawl rather well. "But I suppose it doesn't matter much anyway since none of these are very fun alone." The Avatar listed the games as he pulled them out and set them on the desk. "I have some cards and some elements tiles. I also have pai sho…" He smiled up at her. "Do you like pai sho?"
Katara couldn't think of pai sho without thinking of Uncle Iroh. The thought of him warmed her. He wasn't really her uncle of course—she knew that he'd had very many titles in the past: Crown Prince, General, Dragon of the West—but when she had started traveling with him, he had preferred she just call him "Uncle." And the familial title had stuck.
"Sure," she answered warily, "I've played before."
The Avatar's face lit up. "Do you want to play then? I haven't had any one—I mean, a chance to play in a long time!"
Katara wondered if he had lost his mind. "You're not kidding are you?"
He raised his eyebrows in shy invitation. "It could be fun..?"
Katara looked around the room again. Noting the tall windows, the door, another door leading presumably to a bathroom. Her chains in a pile on the floor. She could still be wearing those, but she wasn't…
"O-kay." Katara answered slowly, carefully setting the ice-spear on the desk. Her hands shook minutely. But her heart was starting to slow down from its previous "terror pace."
Avatar Aang smiled widely. "Great! I'll just set it up right here!"
As the Avatar enthusiastically began placing the octangular tiles on the board, Katara cautiously took a seat opposite him at the desk. She took some deep breaths. This felt so surreal.
"Okay!" the Avatar said rubbing his hands together eagerly, "so I guess we'll have to play by Fire Nation rules, unless you have another preference?" Katara had only ever played with Uncle Iroh (except the one time she'd played Zuko. But that hadn't gone well (for him) and he'd spent the whole rest of the night sullen and grouchy and pretending he wasn't mad at her).
"I guess I've only ever played by Fire Nation rules," she said. "I didn't know there were other rules…"
"Oh sure! In the Southern Earth Kingdom they allow for diagonal jumps for the green tiles. I always told my friend, Bumi, he was cheating until I found out that that is just how they play there." Aang finished setting down the last tiles while he continued, "And my mentor, Monk Gyatso, always maintained that all the flower tiles could only be taken by the herbivore animals like the horse, goat, water buffalo…" The Avatar sat back a perplexed look on his face. "But now that I think about it, I think he was probably just teasing me…" He laughed quietly once. "Who knew? I guess I just hadn't been old enough to see that he was pulling my leg on that one."
"Monk Gyatso?" Katara asked.
"Oh, yeah! He was my mentor, my guardian, at the Air Temple when I was a kid. Even though he was old, he was such a goof! The two of us used to laugh all the time together! He got me into more trouble than he ever got me out of, that's for sure!"
Katara watched as the Avatar's smile slipped slowly from his face, his eyes becoming dark and far away.
Katara knows this look. Too well. She'd lived in that place for too long not to recognize it. Grief is a persistent companion.
Katara cleared her throat and spoke, breaking the Avatar from his thoughts. "So… um… are we going to play then?"
Avatar Aang smiled softly. "Of course. You can go first."
Katara picked up her first tile, but then dropped it, shooting to her feet, her hands going for her spear — the Avatar had suddenly stood and was reaching across the table toward her!
He froze. "I'm sorry Sifu. I didn't mean to startle you. I just thought maybe I should make some tea."
When Katara looked again, she noticed that his hands were not reaching for her, but for the tea pot on the desk. She let out a sigh of relief and cautiously sat back down, calming her racing heart. "Oh."
"So… do you like tea?" Avatar Aang asked, clearly talking to break the tension.
"Sure. I like tea." Again, Katara's mind went to Uncle Iroh. "Especially if the company is good." Uncle Iroh's love of tea was one of those little idiosyncrasies that made him all the more endearing. Katara wondered if perhaps Iroh had drunk tea here before, perhaps from this very tea pot? The thought was a little disorienting. It was hard sometimes to reconcile the 'easygoing old man' with the 'Fire Nation Royal'.
Katara watched while the Avatar filled the full pot with a collection of dried leaves from a little cloth bag next to the tea pot. He started a fire with an exhale and a quick snap of his fingers, placing the pot on the stand above the flame. The way his hands moved was both sure and unrushed, the movement calming and efficient. "Well I can't guarantee good company, but the tea here really is pretty good." Aang smiled.
Katara felt herself smile slightly too. "I guess it's yet to be determined about both for me."
They didn't speak for a while, each just concentrating on the game and letting the panic and awkwardness from moments before gradually slip away. The aroma from the tea began to fill the space. Katara didn't feel exactly "at ease", but her breathing returned to normal and her shoulders unclenched.
When the tea was ready, the Avatar filled two delicate cups and set one on the table in front of her. The smell was familiar, one of Uncle Iroh's favorites. Katara blew on the tea and took a sip. She smiled and relaxed into her chair for the first time. "You weren't wrong about the tea. It's delicious."
"I guess your verdict on the company is all that's still pending then," Aang said with a laugh. He said it in a way that didn't sound like he was expecting an answer; like he wasn't expecting anything from her at all.
He moved another tile. And so did she. His Tiger was about to take her Orchid.
"Tisk, tisk, Avatar," she teased, "only herbivores can eat my flowers."
Avatar Aang looked up at her with a big, genuine grin, his face lighting up with the joke.
"Nu-uh, here we follow Fire Nation rules, remember?" his eyes crinkled merrily. His smile was contagious.
Katara tried to bite back her own. "Sure. I remember. Fire Nation rules."
Aang's Tiger took her Orchid.
As Katara sipped her tea, her eyes wandered over to the plate of tarts. Avatar Aang seemed to notice. "Would you like one?" he asked. "It's a Fire Palace specialty."
Katara looked closer. "Is that… rose petals on them?"
Aang smiled widely. "Yeah! Weird, right?!"
"I don't know about eating flowers…" Katara said uncertainly.
"It's okay for me," the Avatar said as he popped a whole tart into his mouth, flower and all. He chewed a moment and then smiled. "because I am an herbivore."
Katara laughed. "Really?" she asked.
"I don't eat meat, so yup," he pointed to himself: "Herbivore."
Katara thought of her life in the South Pole: eating meat for her people had been their only option for survival. Even here in the Fire Nation, Katara wasn't sure if she'd gone a day without being served some meat dish. "Why?"
"Well, Air Nomads don't eat meat. It's one of our forms of respecting all life." Aang thought for a moment and then said, "Did you read the scroll I gave you? The first one?"
Katara nodded.
"I guess it's kind of like how the warrior recognized that the animals he hunted could be his mother, or brothers, or child. For us, we feel a kinship to all life, and that it's sacred, so we refrain from killing."
Katara's brow furrowed. A philosophy like that felt so foreign to her, having grown up in a war. "So you won't kill? Not for any reason?"
The Avatar's face paled for a moment. He averted eye contact while he stated evasively, "The Air Nomads didn't believe in killing. For any reason."
Katara could tell that the Avatar was uncomfortable. So she lifted a tart in her hand and raised it in the air as if in a toast. "Well, then we can both be herbivores, at least for tonight." And she took a bite of the tart. It was surprisingly good, rose petal and all!
They went back to their game.
"Thank you," Katara said a moment later, without taking her eyes from the board. "For uh, the scrolls, by the way. They've made my 'free time' here tolerable."
Mention of her 'free time' reminded them both of the Camelephant in the room. Katara's chains sat loudly on the floor. But they ignored them.
"Uh sure," Aang said, scratching at his hair in a flustered kind of way, "I'm glad you like them. I'll lend you some more!"
"I'd like that."
Katara looked up at the Avatar, and stifled a giggle. The Avatar's topknot had been knocked off-center; it now drooped sadly to the left. It took away all the dignity of the hairstyle. Aang's eyes gave her a questioning look, apparently unaware.
Katara giggled again. "It's your hair. I'm sorry, I can't take you seriously like that."
The Avatar reached up a hand and felt the drooping bun. "Hair is a nuisance!" he said with surprising conviction as he grabbed at the tie to undo it. "It's hot! And it takes so much… maintenance! I used to wake up ready-to-go. Now, I have to deal with this…" the tie appeared be tangled in his hair, "nonsense! And for an Airbender hair is especially annoying. Every time I airbend it gets all messed up." He finally managed to yank the tie free and his black hair fell down around his shoulders. He ran his fingers through it several times to get it to lay straight. "If I had it my way, I'd be bald as a baby and be done with hair altogether!"
Katara laughed. "You prefer to be bald?"
"Definitely. Hair is awful," Aang looked up at her, slight color rising cheeks. "Except yours, of course! Your hair is… you know, your hair is really… nice."
The Avatar moved another pai sho tile, pointedly not looking at her, his cheeks ablaze. Katara laughed again. He was kind of adorable when he was flustered.
Another cup of tea later, and the game was over. When Aang made the final move (securing his win) he looked up at her with a positively giddy grin. "I win!" he said with as much enthusiasm as a child back home winning the stick-pull. He then tried to reign in his enthusiasm. "But you played really well. Wanna… play again?!"
"Sure," Katara teased, "but this time I won't go easy on you."
"You're on!"
They both cleared the board and started setting up for the next game. Katara realized she was smiling. She was sure she hadn't smiled this much in… well a very long time.
"So want to make this game… more interesting?" Aang suggested with a cocked eyebrow.
"I'm not playing strip pai sho with you."
"Wha—?! No! That wasn't even what I—" Aang stammered. His reaction was so off balance, so flustered that Katara was sure he hadn't even considered that option. Katara laughed at him. Out loud! It felt so good to laugh.
"I wasn't… is that even… a thing?" Aang was blushing so hard his arrow took on a purple hue. It looked like he was stuck trying very hard not to think about the idea that she had planted in his mind!
Laughing, Katara said, "Not today it's not. Okay, then what did you have in mind?"
Aang took a sip of his tea so he could hide behind his tea cup for a moment, gathering his composure. "I was just going to suggest that we, you know, make a wager." His smile was back now, big and mischievous.
"I don't have any money—" Katara began.
Aang shook his head. "Neither do I. No I don't mean we bet money. Instead let's play for secrets!"
Katara wasn't so sure about this idea, but she had to admit it did add an element of excitement to the game. "Okay."
"Great!" Aang rubbed his hands together greedily. "Okay, so every time one of us takes one of the other person's tiles, we get to ask that person a question. Sound fair?"
Katara nodded.
Katara got the impression right away, that Aang had been holding back that last game, for he suddenly had her Horse tile in two moves.
"First question: Can you…" the Avatar looked at her seriously, "do this?" He stuck out his tongue and rolled it so it curled up like a straw, his eyes going crossed while he tried to look at his own tongue.
Katara laughed. Again, out loud! That was not what she was expecting. "It just so happens, that I can!" she answered proudly, sticking out her tongue and rolling it too.
The Avatar looked good-naturedly chagrined. "Hmmm, a woman of many talents it would seem…"
The game moved on, and Aang managed to take the next tile too. "Okay, very important question: What…" he let the world hang dramatically, "is your favorite animal?"
"Oh I can see these questions are getting progressively more 'confidential'!" Katara joked at the triteness of his inquiries. "An otter-penguin. What is yours?"
"No, no, you have to earn my secrets!" the Avatar teased.
"Very well, I will." Katara moved her Water Lily tile and took Aang's Goat. He seemed surprised by the move. "Okay, now what is your favorite animal?"
"Well normally I'd have to say a Sky Bison, but I don't know that Appa would appreciate being classified as 'just an animal', so I think I will go with a Flying Lemur-bat."
Katara wasn't sure that she'd ever seen either of those animals before. "Appa?" she asked.
"Oh, he's my Sky Bison; he's my best friend," he said without any embarrassment. "Maybe sometime I can… introduce you to him." There was that blush again.
Katara smiled coyly, "I'm sure I'd love to meet him."
The game continued, and they learned a myriad of "secrets" about one another: Katara could weave a basket tight enough to hold water; the Avatar liked to make jewelry and bake fruit pies; Katara's nickname as a kid had been "Kat-fish"; the Avatar's tattoos meant he was a Master Airbender; Katara most preferred the sky was when there was a full moon; the Avatar had once had a glider that allowed him to fly.
Avatar Aang took her Lotus tile. "Do you… like to dance?"
"Oh gosh, I don't know if I can take any more of these 'probing' questions!" Katara teased.
"Don't you want to know any real secrets?"
The Avatar's smile was slowly replaced by a more somber look. "Okay, then. Why are you here?"
Katara felt a wall rise up inside her. She hadn't quite expected this one. Although maybe she should have. She answered with more formality than they'd had between them in all of the last hour. "To teach the Avatar waterbending, of course."
"No, I mean why are you really here?" Aang glanced at the pile of chains on the floor, and then looked down at his hands. "I know you aren't here because you just wanted to teach me. So why are you here?"
Katara considered how to answer. She had her reason of course. Information bought by the Rebellion. But… "Pass."
"What? No, you can't pass! I won your Lotus tile fair and square!"
"Pass. Ask me something else."
"Okay fine." The Avatar thought for a moment. "Alright, have you ever met… another Air Nomad? Besides me, I mean…" he asked hesitantly.
Katara could see that he was trying to make his question casual, but the unnatural stillness in his body as he waited for her answer betrayed how much this mattered to him.
Katara wanted to give another answer, but there was only one to give. "No. There aren't any others. I'm sorry, Avatar."
Avatar Aang nodded stiffly, the anticipated answer still clearly hard to hear. But he kept his face a mask. "Sure. I knew that. I don't know why I asked…"
Katara thought about what it must be like for him, to be the Last and Only Airbender. She knew the grief of losing her tribe, and that was almost more than she could bear. But she knew there were more of 'her people' in the world: the men who had been away during the raid, the other small scattered tribes in the South Pole, the people in the Northern Tribe. In her travels she had even run into a group of waterbenders who lived in a swamp! Her grief was great, but she could hardly even fathom what the Avatar must feel.
Katara's thoughts were interrupted by the Avatar's voice. "You can just call me Aang, though."
"What?"
"You don't have to call me 'Avatar'."
"Does it bother you?"
Long hesitation.
"No. I am the Avatar. But sometimes I want to be Aang too."
"Aren't they one and the same?"
"No. They aren't."
The Avatar's brow pulled down. Katara immediately missed his smile; she wanted it to return. So she tried some gentle teasing. "So… should I wait for one of you to go then? Or shall I get to know you both at the same time?"
Despite himself, Aang laughed. "No, that's not what I mean."
Katara moved another piece. She hesitated. "What do you mean then?"
Aang took a deep breath, his gaze averted. "I feel like… being the Avatar has erased Aang… little by little. And not just since I came here to the Fire Nation. It changed things back with my own people too. People treated me differently. My friends. The Monks. The only one who didn't was Monk Gyatso. But then they—" he cut himself off.
When he spoke again, he didn't pick up where he had left off. "I never wanted to be the Avatar. I've never wanted power. I know that Firelord Ozai wants me to master the Avatar State. And I know it's my duty as the Avatar to do it. But the few times I've been in the Avatar State… Aang was gone completely."
Katara listened carefully, digesting this information. She knew about the Avatar State. Of course it featured in the Legends she'd always believed, but she'd also heard about what happened at the Caldera Bay as well. Not everyone did; the Firelord had worked hard to keep it a secret. But her friends were… connected. And although their information was slow, they'd learned the truth, that the Avatar had destroyed a big portion of lower Caldera City.
Katara had held out hope, even long after most of the others had given it up, that the Avatar was on their side; that he had been fighting against the Fire Nation. But of course her hope had been in vain. The Avatar was working with the Fire Nation.
Or so she'd thought.
"I'm like a giant wrecking ball in the Avatar State." Aang's hand-wringing began again. "What good can come from that much power? I'd always thought the Avatar was a figure of peace, of wisdom… but not me. I'm just destruction." He finally looked back up at her. "That's part of why I want to learn to heal. Aang would like to heal people."
Katara smiled kindly. She didn't like seeing Aang in distress. "Well… it sounds to me like Aang is a lovely person."
She saw his ears tinge crimson. He ducked his head again, but the smile was back. "Thank you, Master Katara."
"Well if I'm to call you 'Aang', then you can call me just 'Katara'. At least here." Katara found herself blushing this time.
Aang smiled, "Katara." He said her name like he was testing it out, his eyes shining.
"It means 'water droplet'," she said. "In my native language 'Katara' means 'water droplet'."
Aang smiled. "It's beautiful; it fits you. 'Aang' means 'peaceful soaring' in my language. Not that anyone speaks my language anymore… or anything…" Aang's face winced, like he'd tried to make a joke that stung. His eyes looked away.
"I'm sorry," Katara found herself saying, "I'm sorry about what happened to the other Airbenders."
Avatar Aang looked up, snapping out of his blank stare. "It couldn't be helped," he replied.
Couldn't be helped?! Katara thought, anger flaring within her, immediately replacing her previous empathy. What could he possibly mean by 'it couldn't be helped'? The Fire Nation massacred them!
"What do you mean, 'it couldn't be helped'?" Katara asked sharply.
"The Plague," Avatar Aang answered. "The Air Nomads were all killed in a plague a hundred years ago." He looked at her carefully. "I thought everyone knew that."
Katara was shocked by this lie. Everyone knew that the Fire Nation had murdered the Air Nomads! "A plague? One that only killed Air Nomads?" she asked skeptically.
"My tutors said that we have a genetic anomaly: some sort of weakness that made my people susceptible to the disease." The Avatar's face fell blank, completely devoid of expression. "Every history book I've read confirms this. And I've been to the Western Air Temple… it's completely deserted. The Air Nomad's-our-weakness, is part of why I have to be so isolated here in the Palace. The Firelord doesn't want me exposed to possible contagions, in case the Plague is still around somewhere." The Avatar looked at her carefully, as if watching for any sign of objection.
Katara tried to keep her face neutral; she knew she was definitely venturing into territory forbidden by the rules in "Protocols for Engagement with the Avatar." Saying the wrong thing here could cost her far more than "her job." It could cost her her life. Katara stayed silent as the Avatar continued.
"Firelord Ozai told me that his Grandfather Sozin tried to help. When they'd heard about the sickness, he sent their best physicians and healers to try to heal my people. But nothing could be done. Most of the monks and nuns in the temples were dead within a week. And the plague swept over the rest of the world, killing the rest of us not too long after that. I was only spared because… I wasn't there. I was… frozen." Katara noticed that he subconsciously rubbed the back of his hand and forearm while he spoke. "The Firelord says that my people were too weak. And he doesn't want the same thing to happen to me. I've been very fortunate to have his… gracious protection. His forgiveness. I'm lucky to be here."
Katara's insides twisted in disgust and anger that the Firelord would tell such a lie! And then to claim to have wanted to "help the Air Nomads"!? She had to bite her tongue to keep it under control.
The Avatar's voice got soft. "That's part of why I want to learn to water-heal. Because maybe if I'd known that… I could have healed them." He sighed, his voice becoming acerbic. "But since I can't learn it anyway, looks like I wouldn't have made any difference." Katara was unaccustomed to this much bitterness in his voice.
The Avatar waited, as if wanting her to contradict him. But she didn't. She didn't know what to say.
Katara's thoughts whirled. The Avatar thought his people were destroyed by a plague?! He had no idea that the Fire Nation had destroyed them. What else didn't he know? What did he, or didn't he, know about the war?!
She had come here hating the Avatar. Hating him for what had happened to her people. For how he had joined the very nation who had slaughtered his own. For his blatant disregard for the suffering of the other nations. For his support of the war.
But what of that was true? Katara had never expected to come here and find the Avatar ignorant and misinformed of all of these things. Anger churned within her.
"Fire Nation rules," she found herself saying.
"What?" Aang looked at her perplexed.
Katara looked soberly at Aang and picked up a pai sho tile. "I'm just remembering, that here we play by Fire Nation rules."
She placed the tile down. And won the game.
….