..…
Aang dropped into the darkened kitchen silently. The window on this side was always conveniently left open, a gesture he liked to think Cook Kanda did on purpose just for him.
Aang stood up gingerly. It had only been a few days since his 're-education,' and even though Physician Yoroh's stitches were always immaculate and his burn salve always helped Aang to heal quickly, his back was still terribly tender. This was one of the reasons he couldn't seem to sleep tonight.
One of the reasons.
So rather than simply lying prone and sleepless in bed with his mind circling endlessly between loneliness, heartache, and dread over his rapidly approaching wedding, Aang decided to seek a distraction. And since it had been a while since Aang had visited the kitchens, he decided to leave a small thank you for Cook Kanda for the dishes he'd prepared recently.
Every night this week familiar foods reminiscent of Aang's childhood had been served as side dishes at 'Family Dinner.' He could never be sure, given that Aang had never actually met the cook, but Aang was pretty sure that a few years ago Cook Kanda had somehow gotten his hands on a handful of Air Nomad recipes. Over the years he had discretely integrated some of them into his menus. The recent lotus root had been new; one that tasted like an air temple potluck.
Perhaps Cook Kanda had known that Aang was miserable this week, and the special dishes were his way of trying to help.
Or maybe Aang was just very good at seeing goodness where it didn't actually exist.
Aang smiled bittersweetly to himself. Given that he'd never talked with Cook Kanda, he was free to imagine all sorts of hidden kindnesses, whether they were really there or not. But Aang didn't concern himself too much with analyzing. If he could choose to see kindness, then he would choose to see it. It hurt no one, but gave him a small boost, so Aang chose to see the cook as a friend, and his food as an act of goodwill.
Aang walked quietly and pulled a small cup from the shelf, bending some water into it. He then placed the blooming red fire-lily he'd picked from the courtyard into the water. His gifts for the cook were always like this: small and meaningful to him personally, but never anything that could be construed as a bribe. He knew contact with him had been dangerous for some servants in the past, so he was always careful not to endanger his friend the cook.
As Aang set the flower on the counter, he noticed a small bowl with a round mooncake inside. The sight coaxed the corner of Aang's mouth to flash upward—the action feeling strange, like his mouth had forgotten how to smile—Cook Kanda must have anticipated he would come tonight. Aang picked up the mooncake and examined it in the light from the window. Mooncakes always had designs pressed into the tops of them. This one had a lotus flower. Aang took a bite, enjoying the saltiness of the boiled egg-yolk center.
However, after two chews he realized he had something else in his mouth. Aang pulled out a small rolled up strip of paper. He unrolled it and in tiny print was written a single four-character idiom: "A window always opens" — at the bottom was another drawn lotus flower.
Aang looked at the open window, his way in and out of the kitchen, and emotion caught in his throat. Of course he had no way of knowing what Cook Kanda meant by the idiom, but to Aang it felt like the cook was trying to tell him that he always had a choice.
Aang didn't believe that was true—not for him at least—but he contemplated how different his life would be if it was.
Pocketing the note, and popping the rest of the mooncake into his mouth, Aang left through the open window.
….
Katara tried not to stare when the Avatar removed his shirt in preparation to wade into the ocean.
The sight of him bare-chested and beautiful caught her breath and startled butterflies into frantic flight in her stomach.
But the moment didn't last. Aang turned to place his shirt on a large boulder on the beach, turning his bare back towards her in the process. The sight caused all the butterflies to collapse, falling dead instantly, replaced instead with a familiar and endlessly sinking guilt.
Katara had known. But she hadn't seen.
She looked away from the tapestry of crisscrossed half-healed burns on Aang's back, blinking quickly to keep her tears at bay.
It had been a week since Aang had saved her life, catching arrows out of the air and offering to break her free. It had been a week since she had in turn stabbed him in the back with a tranquilizer dart to save her brother's life. A week since Aang had been whipped senseless.
And it had now been a whole week since Aang had looked at her with anything but cold detachment.
Needless to say, it had been a long week.
The first time Katara had seen Aang after that day, she had met him in his training arena as normal. But nothing had felt normal. Gone were Aang's sunny smiles. His playful jokes. It was as though Aang were a completely different person, someone she didn't know.
For days the two of them had worked side-by-side, and yet, despite their close proximity, it had felt as though there was a gaping chasm between them. Aang mastered everything she taught him with absurd ease, even amidst his winces from the way the movements pulled on his injured back.
Early on, Katara had offered to heal him, desperately wanting to take away his pain.
"Aang, please!" she'd said quietly to him. "Let me heal you."
"Thank you for your concern, Master Katara," he had replied with a bow and a quick glance up at the balcony above them. "But no. I don't require your assistance."
Aang had been avoiding eye contact with her, always keeping his gaze down or off to the side. But in that moment he'd finally looked at her, and Katara's breath had caught in her chest. His grey eyes had been hard, holding no warmth for her anymore.
"And you will remember yourself," Aang had continued, his demeanor every bit a Prince. "And address me as Avatar Aang."
So this was Avatar Aang. The Firelord's son. The mask he wore for everyone else.
Emotion had swelled in Katara's throat. She'd been able to do little more than nod numbly. She hadn't realized the privilege she'd once had, to know Aang without his Title.
Their lessons had proceeded with formality, an artificial detachment, Aang making ever astounding progress. Princess Azula had observed for a while, until at some point she'd decided she was satisfied with what she'd seen, and left them. Katara remembered the princess's red lips smiling down on her with triumph. She'd won. And they both knew it.
But that didn't mean that Katara had given up. Quite the contrary. The more time she spent with this Aang—this horrible, contrived, shadow of Aang!—the more intolerable she found it.
She knew what was at stake in what she was about to do. But she also knew she couldn't live with herself if she didn't do something, didn't say something. Before it was too late. She was ready to lay out all her cards, to gamble it all.
Which is why she was here now. At the beach. With Aang.
A feat that had not been easy to arrange.
"Absolutely not!" Counselor Zhao had stated flatly. "The Avatar trains in his training arena, and no where else!"
"You want him to become a Waterbending Master, do you not?!" Katara had shot back. "Well how do you expect him to become one with only a few troughs of stagnant water to work with? The Avatar needs to bend the ocean. The ocean has a mind of its own, a will of its own. I need to teach him to bend that will or he'll never be a master!"
Katara looked around her now. At the archers pacing the beach behind them, as well as along the rock outcroppings bracketing this little bay. At least a dozen other soldiers stood guard as well, their eyes shrouded behind firebender helmets. Zhao himself stood begrudgingly a ways up the sand, his arms crossed disapprovingly with his obnoxious cape snapping in the ocean wind. Because it served his own purposes, Zhao had given in to her request, but clearly he didn't trust her.
Perhaps he was smarter than she gave him credit for.
Katara ignored them all and turned her face calmly toward the ocean. Smiling she closed her eyes and breathed in the salty air, enjoying the breeze blowing her hair. This felt almost like home, despite the heat. She had already removed her outer tunic, and the caress of the sun on her skin felt glorious. She could feel the power of the ocean, a friend she had spent most of her life growing up beside. She heard the waves, felt them lap rhythmically up and down the beach and up to her bare feet.
Katara felt safe here, despite the soldiers. She felt the freedom of knowing she could walk right now into the ocean's waves and take herself safely away from here forever.
That wasn't what she had planned—and of course, Zhao still held Sokka's life as ransom to help her control her impulses—but it was liberating nonetheless just knowing that she could.
Katara opened her eyes and turned back toward Aang. He'd been watching her, a look of open longing in his face. But when their eyes met, he ducked his head quickly, trying to hide the vibrant blush that climbed up his cheeks. It was a small thing. But this little slip of Aang's mask sent those same frantic butterflies scattering again inside Katara's stomach. Her Aang was still in there somewhere. And the reminder of that solidified her resolve even more.
It was long past time she did this.
"Avatar Aang," she called in her best teacher's voice. "Come here. We will push and pull the waves together."
Aang stepped up beside her, matching her movements. This was simple enough, similar to moves they had done in the past. But the ocean was its own creature, with waves of its own already in motion.
"Feel the push and pull of the waves. Move with them. Add to them. But don't fight them. Use their movement to redirect the water as you will."
"Redirection," Aang said absently. "Like Master Pakku always said."
Katara tried not to think of her old master. Of his execution. She hoped that she wouldn't be following in his footsteps by what she was about to do today. Even though she knew that the probability was high.
She tried not to think of the risks. To herself. To Sokka. Because she had to do this!
Initially the two of them just pushed and pulled, following the ocean's lead. Then silently, Katara pulled the water laterally, causing the next wave to move sideways in a ripple from one side of the small bay to the other.
Having watched closely, on the next wave Aang pulled back the other way, causing the waves to roll back the way they'd come. He didn't smile, but Katara could see the small measure of delight in his eyes as he watched the water travel sequentially along the beach, like a finger gliding over harp strings.
Katara smiled when a Yuyuan archer jumped backward on the rocky outcrop to their side, the splashing water having wetted his uniform. She thought of how easy it would be to command the water to sweep the man deep into the ocean. The terror from a week ago, of arrows nearly ending her life was still fresh, so it took far more self-control than they would ever know for her to simply leave the man with no more harm that a bit of wet clothing.
But revenge was not her purpose today.
She turned her attention to pulling the ocean towards her; Aang quickly followed suit. The two of them stood, shifting their weight and their arms—forward… and back… forward… and back—gradually pulling the water further up the beach, submerging themselves up to their knees. Katara glanced backward, noticing that the guards all took a few steps backward, wanting to keep their feet dry.
Katara returned her attention to the ocean and coaxed it even further upward, Aang, again, following her lead. Soon they were both up to their waist in water when the waves were highest on the beach. The guards stepped even further back, most no longer even on the sand, but taking refuge on the grassy patches above the tideline. Katara smiled, appreciating the wide arc of "harmless solitude" this gave her with the Avatar.
This time as the water rose past above their navels, Katara flicked her hand playfully, sending a spray of water directly into Aang's face. He had been so serious, so focused, that the attack took him completely by surprise. His startled confusion as he sputtered made Katara laugh out loud. And in a moment of unguarded surprise he turned to her and laughed too. Seeing Aang's smile again was so beautiful it almost hurt. Caught up in the game, he sent a retaliating spray her way. But she was ready, and redirected the stream of water around her body and back at Aang. He dodged and laughed triumphantly as he watched it go past his shoulder. But when his head turned smugly back towards her, he got another face full of water.
"Uh-uh," she teased. "Never turn your back on a waterbender!"
Aang sobered immediately, his smile vanishing so thoroughly she wondered if she'd only imagined its reappearance. "Oh you've taught me that one before."
His words felt like a sucker-punch to the gut, the old familiar guilt hitting her full force.
But instead of shutting her down, the words made Katara angry, her resolve to "enlighten the Avatar" now solid as steel.
"Listen," Katara replied, a defensive bite in her tone, "At the time, I had no choice—"
"What happened to 'you always have a choice!'?" Aang's retort was quick and bitter.
Katara's jaw clenched. "Follow me," she commanded, swimming into the oncoming wave. "I have something to 'teach' you."
"Not too far!" she heard Zhao call obnoxiously from his place standing way back on a high grassy patch beyond the beach, clearly averse to getting his feet wet. But Katara ignored him.
Today she would do as she pleased.
Katara rocketed through the water, commanding the ocean to take her where she willed. Her head and shoulders reemerged from the water again in the middle of the bay. A moment later, Aang's head popped up next to her. The two of them bobbed silently up and down on the waves. Aang looked at her, his arms and legs moving to keep him afloat as he awaited her instruction.
For a moment Katara thought of all the time she'd spent with Aang. All the chances she'd had to tell him the truth. And how she never had. With his wedding celebrations beginning tomorrow, Katara knew she was simply out of time. She had to play her hand now, or she would never get the chance. Part of her argued that it wasn't her responsibility, that she shouldn't risk her life to enlighten him. But she knew that wasn't right. It was a crime not to tell him. If she didn't tell him now, when she could, she knew she would regret it for the rest of her life. No matter the consequences, Katara cared enough about Aang to risk it all, including her brother's life, to tell him the truth.
Katara didn't know a graceful way to lead into something like this, so she finally just plowed into what she had to say.
"They've been lying to you, Aang."
Aang's brows pulled down briefly. He looked backward toward the beach, then at the flanking archers on the outcroppings to their sides. All of them were far too far away to hear what they said here. Aang looked back at Katara warily. "Who? Who has been lying to me?"
"All of them," Katara said flatly, anger building in her gut. "The Firelord, the Princess, Counselor Zhao, your teachers. All of them."
Aang's head angled slightly away from her suspiciously. "About what?"
Where to start?! Katara bit her lower lip, a sudden emotion making her fight back tears. "Everything. They've lied to you about everything, Aang."
Aang's brow lowered again.
Katara's mind couldn't help but call up memories of Zuko. Of the time it had taken to help him to see, to help him to un-learn the lies he was taught in his youth. That had taken years, and Zuko had known far more about the state of the world than Aang. How would she ever convince him?
But she had to start somewhere. "The world is at war right now, Aang."
Aang's eyebrow raised in question. "Are you talking about the Rebellion?"
Katara was surprised; she hadn't thought that Aang knew anything at all about the war."What do you know about the Rebellion?" she asked.
"Not a lot," Aang admitted. "But Firelord Ozai told me about them. That they are a group of troublemakers banded together to stir up violence in the Earth Kingdom. He said that… that his banished son is leading them… that Zuko wants to start an uprising to steal his father's throne…"
Katara swallowed thickly when she thought of Zuko. Of how she had left things with him. Apprehension began to build steadily within her. "It's not like that…" she said quietly.
Aang spoke again, "The Firelord is sending me to the Earth Kingdom after…" Aang hesitated on the next words, "my wedding. He wants me to go and…" But he didn't finish, his eyes wandered off unfocusing, his words left hanging.
Go and what? Panic began to gallop inside her as she filled in the blanks in Aang's unfinished sentence. Her pulse began to race and her ears began to ring loudly in fear for the Rebellion, for Zuko. This couldn't be happening!
"Go and do what, Aang?" Katara demanded her mouth suddenly dry.
Aang's eyes refocused, darkening. "To do some bending," he answered cryptically, his voice full of scathing irony. "My favorite kind."
Katara's heart beat wildly. No. No, no no… he needed to stay here where it was safe! Because that would keep Zuko safe too. Keep them both safe. She couldn't let them kill each other!
"No!" she heard herself saying. "You can't go, Aang!"
Aang laughed at her. Not his merry chiming laugh, but a harsh cynical sound. "You think I have a choice about that?! About anything?!"
Katara could hear a commotion starting up on the beach. Zhao was yelling and beckoning for them to return. Katara's eyes honed in on the archers closest to them on the peninsulas flanking the bay; their bows were already strung taut.
"Curse them!" Katara said to herself. She wasn't finished yet!
Katara brought her arms up in a great swirling motion, pulling the ocean up and over her and Aang, the action trapping a bubble of air around their heads and shoulders. Then she pushed her palms downward, sinking the bubble—and her and Aang with it—deeper into the ocean beneath them. Here they would be safe from the guards with their arrows and fire.
"Katara what are you doing?!" Aang protested, his voice echoing strangely around the water walls of their little bubble.
Katara turned to face him, momentarily startled by how close he was to her, their air bubble not leaving a lot of room for keeping distance. The space was dim—only a portion of the sun's light reaching them through the water—making it feel all the more close, all the more intimate.
Katara could see worry in Aang's eyes, confusion. She knew she didn't have a lot of time! So she spoke quickly.
"The Firelord has been lying to you. The Rebellion isn't 'stirring up violence'—it's trying to restore freedom to the Earth Kingdom! To all the nations that the Fire Nation has ruthlessly taken over!"
"What are you talking about? The Fire Nation hasn't—"
"Yes it has, Aang! The Fire Nation has been at war with the rest of the world for a hundred years!"
"What?" Aang's eyes crinkled in skeptical disbelief. "What are you talking about? A hundred years of war? That's absurd!" But Katara noticed how Aang's eyes darted to the side quickly.
Doubt…
"It's true!" Katara affirmed, "The Firelord didn't take you in to make you his son. He did it to make you his weapon!"
Aang was shaking his head. "The Firelord rescued me. Bringing me into his home was an act of mercy."
Hot anger flared inside of Katara at the lie! She growled and pulled her arms sharply towards herself making an X across her chest. The motion pulled a slap of salty seawater hard against Aang's still healing back. Aang stifled a cry, sucking in air painfully though his teeth. He grimaced and blinked upward, fighting to get his pain under control.
"You think that is mercy?! Fathers don't whip their sons out of mercy!" Katara bit out angrily, her words magnified in the enclosed space. "Merciful fathers don't banish and burn their sons either! Do you even know what Ozai did to Zuko?!"
Aang's eyes darted across the surface of the water lapping at their necks. He looked overwhelmed. Confused. He winced again.
Immediately compassion swelled inside Katara, and she felt bad for hurting him. She knew this wasn't his fault.
"Please, Aang," Katara's voice softened. Their bodies were close, brushing past one another as they tread water. Impulsively she reached out and brought her hand around the back of Aang's neck, pulling him toward her. Keeping her fingers at the nape of Aang's neck, she gently stroked his face with her thumb. Aang closed his eyes and leaned ever so slightly into her touch. Gently she tipped her head towards him and rested their foreheads together. She could see water beaded on his dark eyelashes. "You have to believe me, Aang."
Aang leaned into her for a moment, their breaths mingling. When he drew his head back, his eyes were dark and intense—piercing her as they searched her face. His eyes were so uncertain, so vulnerable.
But cold indifference soon slid over them like a film, his mask slipping back into place as he pushed himself away from her.
"Why should I believe you?"
Katara's heart dropped. For a moment she'd had him back, the real Aang. The return of his mask made her mad.
"Because I'm telling the truth, Aang!"
"Avatar Aan—"
"Shut up!" she cut him off. "I'm not telling 'the Avatar' this! I'm telling you! I'm telling Aang."
Aang watched her silently.
"I'm telling you because I care about you. And you deserve to know what happened. What really happened. To you. To the world. To the other Air Nomads!"
"The Air Nomads are dead, Katara!" Aang's tone was surprisingly defensive. "They died in a plague, a hundred years ago. I'm the last airbender, remember?! Because I do! Every. Single. Day. I remember." The ache in his voice could have broken her in half.
Katara loathed to add to his grief—so for a brief moment she hesitated—but the truth deserved to be known.
"You're not the last airbender because of a plague, Aang. You're the last airbender because the Fire Nation killed all the other airbenders."
The shock on Aang's face was sudden, like her words had slapped him across the face. His brow then furrowed briefly. A slight wince. "What, why would the Fire Nation—? Why would anyone—? The Air Nomads were peaceful…"
Katara watched in dismay as Aang began to shake his head in disbelief, his breathing becoming labored. "No. No. That's a lie," he whispered. But his breaths came faster, distressed. Katara could see his hands rubbing frantically over his arms under the water, making it harder for him to stay afloat.
Aang suddenly looked up as her, accusation in his eyes. "You're one of them, aren't you? One of the Rebellion! That's why you're a prisoner here, isn't it?"
She was silent. But her non-answer was confirmation enough for Aang. "You're working for them. Trying to manipulate me!"
"It's not what you think, Aang," Katara said softly, bringing her hands up in front of her, trying to calm him.
"Why should I even trust you? You've lied to me before!"
Katara was brought up short, indignation filling her. "No, I haven't! You've asked some questions I've refused to answer, but I've never lied to you."
"Oh yeah?" Aang asked with scathing sarcasm. "How about this one: 'I love you, Aang'?"
Katara felt like she'd been punched. Because those words had been as truthful as any she'd ever spoken. They were still truthful, even now. Even though they hurt. "You don't understand, Aang. The other day, in the arena, I didn't mean to—"
"Didn't mean to what?!" Aang cut her off. "Didn't mean to stab me in the back? As preposterous as it sounds, I might have even believed you if you told me you'd somehow done it by accident—because I am just that dumb, that gullible, and that in love—" his voice broke, "but even I'm not stupid enough to believe that you stabbed me twice by accident."
Katara knew she was losing; how could she make him understand?! "It wasn't what you think! I was trying to protect my brother—"
"You're lying to me!" Aang blurted, looking around in a frenzy, like a trapped animal desperate to escape. Aang was fully hyperventilating now, thrashing around looking for a way out as though he'd forgotten he could waterbend. Both his hands clutched into his hair and a sudden white light flashed from the tattoos on his hands, his forehead, the light blinding in their dim underwater bubble! Aang groaned and the light went out. But a second later it flashed again.
"Lies!" he growled, his voice inhuman, thundering in their small space like a hundred souls speaking as one!
Fear gripped Katara.
Aang thrashed, trying to fight it. Katara tried to reach for him, to calm him, but he jerked backward out of her grip and right out of the air bubble. Katara gasped, watching his tattoos flashing. Sinking!
"Aang!" she yelled, reaching down to him, but grasping nothing. In her panic, she lost control of the bubble she'd been bending; great sloshes of water choked her before she pushed the water back again. "Aang!"
And then the water exploded! A great volcano of seawater shot skyward in a tremendous eruption! So much water was displaced all at once, that Katara fell startled on her backside on the muddy bottom of the bay. She looked up to see water rising skyward in an enormous, towering surge! Her eye latched onto a bright light—Aang!—glowing and throwing the sea to the sides as he stalked angrily out of the bay!
But the light of his tattoos flickered, and he stumbled to one knee. Without warning the water came crashing back in on them both! Katara's body tumbled and turned violently in the water, but she barely had time to register what was happening before the water was gone again, and she fell back to the ground on her hands and knees. She coughed and looked to see Aang once again walking towards shore, his hands out to the sides holding the entire bay's worth of ocean back, parted like a narrow, watery canyon. But this time, his tattoos were blue.
"Aang!" Katara sputtered, lifting herself to run after him. This had been her one chance! "Aang, please stop!"
But Aang's red-striped back continued to stalk unheedingly away from her.
Once on the beach, Aang released his arms, and the walls of water flanking Katara suddenly began to crash back together, starting behind her and moving toward the beach. Katara was caught in the resulting crash, the momentum of the parted walls of water coming back together thrusting her forward and onto the shore in a great crashing wave.
Katara hit the ground hard enough to knock the wind out of her. She coughed seawater from her mouth and lifted her face from the sand. "Aang!" she tried to call, but it came out as a sputtering cough instead.
She caught a final glimpse of Aang's angry form storming away. Zhao protested, yelling to him, but Aang flatly ignored him and continued to march back the way they had come, towards the palace.
Zhao frantically ordered a dozen guards to follow the Avatar, his words garbled in Katara's water-logged ears.
Katara dropped her forehead back on the sand, catching her breath. Damn it! That had been her one chance! But Aang had not believed her. Misery welled up in Katara's core, because she knew that at one time he would have believed her. But not now. He no longer trusted her—a reality that stung painfully.
The point of an upturned boot stepped squarely into her view. "My, my," Zhao's grating voice drawled. "That was quite the spectacle. Some truly impressive bending, I must say."
Katara grit her teeth, fighting the urge to soak Zhao.
"It would appear that the student has now become the master, wouldn't you agree, Master Katara?"
Katara's heart sank, knowing that she had failed today. The game was over. She had gambled and she had lost. And she was now all out of cards.
Zhao's voice gloated above her, "After what I've just witnessed I'm confident in saying that the Avatar is now a full Waterbending Master! And just in time. The Firelord will be so pleased."
Dread filled her as she remembered what Aang had told her—that he would be going to the Earth Kingdom soon, to go after Zuko and the Rebellion! And Katara knew there was nothing she could do to stop him.
Not only could she not stop him, she had armed him, with waterbending.
The words from Zhao's tongue cut her like a lash.
"The Fire Nation commends you, Master Katara. Thanks to you, the Avatar will now be unstoppable."
…..
A/N: If you are needing a break from the angst, feel free to check out my new one shot "Impersonator" - nothing but feel-good fluff and humor in that one ;) Thanks for reading everyone!