Heya guys :) How are you all?
I'm seriously loving this story! Not sounding cocky or anything back I could actually read this over and over again, I love it that much!
I want to thank my beta CharrissaxJace, you have been amazing and I'm going to miss you being my beta! Good luck with school ex oh ex
Hope you guys enjoy :)
Jace's POV
I walked out of Clary's with a small grin plastered onto my face, as the thought of not being alone anymore ran through my head. For weeks now, I have been feeling like no one could fully understand the pain and guilt that ran through my mind and body, breaking small pieces of the old 'Jace' and leaving behind someone who was haunted by one night. Of course I try to hide my emotions and the scar that was left behind from that night. I hide it my family and friends, because there is no need for them to be muddled up in it when they simply wouldn't understand, and know how to help me. Knowing Clary was going through something that was forced upon her that night, seemed to comfort my own horror. Last night when we spoke, when we slept next to each other, my horror seemed to fade out. The horror that hadn't left me since that night, and gave me the peace I needed.
Since that that, I haven't been the same. Sure I wasn't damaged, but there's just something pulling me down like a huge bone-crushing wave forcing me under that's trying to break me, preventing me to recover, and I'm sure that's what's happening to Clary.
When I got home, I knew I will be in shit street with my parents, but I don't care. I haven't cared what people thought of me for a long time now and I wasn't going to start. Parking my car, I walked casually to our family's house that stood out in the block of other over-expensive houses. Shaking my head, I put my key in the keyhole before turning the door handle and opening to a furious looking Maryse.
"And where do you think you've been?" she asked, placing her hands on her hips in a cliché manner.
Rolling my eyes, I shut the door tightly before answering her, "I think you're question is rather idiotic because it isn't like I wouldn't know where I was," I commented smoothly before walking passed her towards the kitchen.
"Jace," Maryse warned following close behind me as I walked into the kitchen.
As I entered the kitchen, I was hit was an off-putting smell. "Urgh, what is that smell?" I asked, before my gaze lay upon Izzy cooking. "Well that explains it."
"Explains what?" Izzy growled turning to me, narrowing her eyes at me.
Smirking, I sat down at the table beside Robert who cautiously took a bite of his breakfast. "Oh nothing, I was simply stating how good your cooking smells," I grinned.
"You're such a liar, Jace," Izzy growled.
Smirking, a chuckle escaped my lips. "So you're admitting your cooking smells like shit?" I asked.
Beside me Robert coughed on his food, as he tried to hold back a laugh. "Jace! Don't swear in this house," Maryse said, firmly, "and Robert you shouldn't encourage it by laughing!"
Placing his fork down neatly on his plate, Robert cleared his throat. "You're right. Jace, apologize to your sister," he said to me.
Rolling my eyes, I didn't want to argue, especially with Robert so I did the right thing. "I'm sorry Izzy, I shouldn't have said that," I said simply.
Nodding, she flipped her hair to the side and carried on burning whatever it was in the pan. My gaze upon Izzy was then replaced with Maryse who still had the angry expression on her face that she had earlier. "Are you going to tell us where you went last night?" she asked, anger filling her voice.
"I stayed at a friend's, okay?" I stated, sitting back and crossing my arms tightly around my chest.
"At a girls?" Maryse asked, but before I could answer she carried on with her wrath. "I've told you time and time again, do not to sell yourself out like this and sleep around with any girl!"
Standing up, I slammed my chair into the table, annoyed at her outburst. "And I've told you time after time, that I have not been sleeping around," I growled, tightening my grip on my chair.
Before I could let my mouth flow with more words, Robert spoke up. "Maryse, didn't we agree that you'd talk to Isabelle about boy issues and I will talk to the boys about girl issues?"
"I guess you're right," she said, giving up. "Isabelle, turn off the stove and leave Robert and Jace to talk, we should go sort out tonight anyway." Nodding, Izzy followed Maryse out neatly, leaving me and Robert alone.
"You got to tell me the truth, son. Were you at a girl's house last night?" Robert asked, pushing his plate away from him.
Sitting back down in my chair, I turned to him. "I don't get it, I'm seventeen yet I'm not allowed to see girls?" I stated.
Shaking his head, he seemed to think of the right words to say. "You are allowed to see girls, Jace but we'd, I'd, appreciate knowing when you'll be out with a girl," he said finally.
Raising an eyebrow, I chuckled. "You guys really thought I snuck out last night to go have sex. Don't you guys think I have respect for myself? Sure I can get sex, but I don't want it…. Well I do, but just with someone that doesn't go looking for it," I stated.
"I understand. It's just that you've been acting strange. You've been more closed off since the accident, Jace. We're worried about you," he said softly.
Shaking my head, I leant slightly back. "If I was closed off, why would I be telling you about my sex life?" I asked, raising an eyebrow again.
"Because you don't care about having sex or not, so you don't care about talking about it. I'm your father Jace, I can tell something's eating you up," he assumed.
"Well there's nothing, I'm fine," I lied but my voice said otherwise.
Ignoring the topic, he moved onto last night. "So where were you last night?" he asked.
"At a girls place," I said, twirling a fork around my fingers.
"And you didn't have sex?" he asked, carefully.
Laughing, I shook my head. "She's not that type of girl, we just talked," I said, thinking about how Clary flinches away from sudden touches but I also knew even if she wasn't afraid of a touch, she had enough respect for herself to respect her body.
"Do you like this girl?" Robert asked.
I shook my head, before looking up at Robert knowing. I couldn't hide everything from him, especially when out of everyone in my family, he was the one that was most there from me, through all the highs and lows. I had to let my shield down slightly. "She's the girl from that night. The one that got sexually abuse," I said.
"Oh, and she didn't mind you being there?" he asked, seriously, "I was told she's been going through some serious stuff and she won't even let her parents touch her, but it's understandable after what she went through."
I shrugged. "I guess she doesn't mind. I think it's because I was the one to stop that guy from doing anything more so she…" I trailed off thinking of the right word.
"She trusts you," Robert finished off my sentence for me with a smile. "You know I have never been more proud of you than that night when you protected her even though you put yourself in line of danger."
A small smile escaped onto my lips. "Maryse went nuts," I chuckled.
Giving a small laugh back at my statement, he smiled at me, "because son, as much as it pains you to hear it, you're still her baby."
"Even though she has never actually seen me as a baby before," I stated, raising an eyebrow.
Shaking his head, he stood up. "Even though you only came into our lives when you were ten, you will always be her baby, my son," Robert said, smiling. "Now help me with the dishes, it's going to be a tough job after Isabelle burnt them all."
Clary's pov
The sun seemed to shine through the closed window coating me in warmth as I listened to my iPod. Glaring down at my sketch, I let the words of the song flow through be as I added the final details to the girl that hid within a cloak. I don't know what gave me the idea to draw it, but in a way the girl represented me. The girl was scared, afraid of something that broke her down and for some reason the cloak that surrounded her hid her from that horror.
I remember the look of brokenness that filled Jace's expression the night before as he spoke to her about how that night kept replaying in his mind and dreams. Is it selfish that I like the fact I'm not going through this on my own? That I had someone that knew the pain that has buried itself deep inside of me that's not willing to leave? Shaking my head, I let my headphones drop from my ears as I placed my sketch to the side.
"What are you drawing, Fray?" I heard a familiar voice ask from behind me suddenly, causing my heart to feel like it was about to jump from out of my chest. Turning quickly around, I was faced with my oldest, but best-friend, Simon.
Pushing his glasses up his nose, he took my sketch and examined it for himself. "Nice, I think you're getting better each drawing you do, but isn't this one a little dark?" he asked, placing himself on the ground.
I shrugged as I watched him place my sketch back down. "Why are you here?" I asked, sounding a little too rude which causes him to flinch.
"You haven't called," he said, in an innocent tone.
Clearing my throat, I glared down at my hands. I knew Simon only was trying to support me through this hard time but to be honest having him here felt suffocating, as if my air was taken from within my lungs. "I-I just wanted to be alone," I said truthfully.
"And you still do?" he asked.
I nodded, before staring softly at him. "I'm sorry okay. I'm just messed up our moment." I whispered.
Standing up, he smiled down at me. "I know you have a problem with people touching you, Jocelyn told me, so don't worry. I won't touch you. I just want to hangout with my best-friend, I miss you," he said sweetly, before revealing a plastic bag. "I bought junk food and movies. Keen, Fray?"
As much as I wanted to say yes, my body refused to allow it to happen; it seemed to cringe at the idea of it. I did miss Simon, but I'm not the same person I use to be. I'm scarred and I can't seem to move passed what I went through, "I'm sorry, Simon," I whispered, "I can't."
Nodding softly, he stared softly down at me. "Don't forget about me Fray, okay? I will always be here for you, all you need to do is give me a text or ring and I'll come running," he said, assuring.
I don't know how, but I managed to let myself joke, "You sound like some corny guy now," I whispered, laughing slightly.
"Not corny, just…" Simon paused, "Okay, I don't know what I was trying to be but it wasn't corny," he laughed, before backing off. "Text me, Fray."
Nodding softly, I watched as his slender frame disappeared into the shadows of the house. Shaking my head, I stood up and walked my small frame into the lounge and watched at the window as Simon walked slowly away, only looking back once with a visible frown on his face.
"He'll get over it, Clary."
Turning around, Luke stood at the doorway with his usual easy-going smile on his face. "He's a good person and a good friend as a matter of fact. He'll wait," he assured me.
"And what if I never get better?" I asked.
Luke thought about the question, and shook his head. "Clary, you're strong like your mother. Nothing, and I mean nothing, will stop you from getting better because I know you, you'll fight until you get better," he told me.
"I don't know anymore," I admitted, sitting my shatterable body on the sofa.
Before he could response, Mom rushed in. "Come on, Clary we're going to the groceries," she said excitedly.
"Why?" I asked, really not wanted to move from the safety of the sofa, and really not excited to go to a supermarket where a heap of people would be.
"Because we need food and you need to get out there more," she stated, grabbing her wallet off the table.
"I don't want to be around people, why can't you get that?" I asked, folding my arms over my chest.
Her expression on her face softened. "I know this will be uncomfortable but your doctor said it'll be good for you," she stated.
"Well bringing me to a place full of people isn't going to help me, especially when I can't even touch you. Just face it, I'm a mess. So drop it," I forced myself to say.
"Darling, just get in the car," she said, "I won't make you come in but you can at least wait in the car."
"No," I said, sounding final.
"Please," she looked me in the eyes now, pleading with mine. "I need to see that you're trying."
'Do it for yourself, do it for mom and Luke,' I thought to myself, 'fight for yourself.' "Fine," I whispered.
The drive to the supermarket was uneasy as my heart beat faster the closer we got. When we finally reached the supermarket, mom parked and turned to me. "I'll be right back, baby," Mom smiled at me as she grabbed her wallet. "Lock the doors, and call if you need anything. You're being so brave right now."
Smiling, I nodded at her as she gave me one last smile before hopping out of the car and headed smoothly towards the supermarket. I quickly got up and locked all the doors before lowing myself so no one could see me through the windows but not before I saw a familiar flash of gold. Raising my head slightly, my gaze lay upon the figure that a few hours ago, was lying next to me, holding my hand as we both slept, Jace. He was walking behind a lady and a little boy with his arms tightly across his chest, clearly not happy with being at the supermarket as well. Grabbing my phone, I smiled as my fingers flew across the dial pad.
Hope this doesn't sound stalkerish, but I can see you ;) ~C
I looked up at Jace and saw him dig into his pocket for his phone. After he read my message, his gaze scanned the car park.
Beep.
That's one of the most stalkerish things I've ever heard ,but it's okay, you can be my stalker ;) Where are you? ~J
Smiling, I texted him back. Whatever asshat, I'll toot ~C
I moved my body so I could reach with ease to the staring wheel and beep it. Once I had I watched as Jace spoke to what I assumed was his mother and headed towards me. Smiling, I opened my door as he approached.
"Hey," he said, as he leant himself against the car beside mine, steps away from me.
"What are you doing here?" I asked, "You don't seem like a grocery shopper."
I heard a faint chuckle escape his lips. "I'm not, this is my punishment for sneaking out last night," he stated, giving me a wide smile.
"Are you kidding me?" I laughed, "Your punishment is shopping with your mom? That's crap! It should be something worse, you snuck out!"
"And here I thought you'd be apologetic for getting me in trouble," he chuckled.
"Hey, if I may say so myself, it was you that asked to come over in the first place," I pointed out, laughing.
"And you should have said no, knowing I'd get punished for it later on," he stated, folding his arms over his chest lamely.
"Ha, because I would know you'd get punished. I don't know anything about your parents, so this is your entire fault buddy," I said, poking my tongue at him.
Rolling his eyes, he smirked at me. "Whatever. So, why are you here? I thought you'd try to avoid a place like this," he commented.
"I tried, but my mom forced me to come, she said it'll be an improvement, that it'll show I'm trying to recover," I said, retelling what Mom had previously said to me.
"Well are you?" he asked, his smirk fading.
I shrugged. "I don't know if I can. It's too soon," I said.
He seemed to think for a moment, but then a light bulb seemed to go off because a smile suddenly spread across his angel-like face. "Do you want to recover?" he asked seriously.
"Yes, of course," I answered.
"And you're willing to do anything even if it makes you uncomfortable?" he asked.
"Where is this leading?" I asked, suddenly getting a hint of something else in his voice.
"We're having a family barbeque tonight with our extended family, and you and your parents should attend," he said, before adding after seeing my mask of shock. "It'll be good for you Clary. It'll prove to your parents and yourself that you're willing to get better, to fight what's going on inside."
"It's a family barbeque, I'm not family Jace," I commented still in shock.
"So? I hate them they are so boring! I could use the support," he pouted.
"Jace," I whined, "you don't need my support, ask one of your friends."
"And here I was thinking we were friends," he chuckled as I poked my tongue at him. "I would ask my other friends to but they all would try flirt with my sister which would end with me kicking their asses."
I rolled my eyes. "Jace, I just want to stay home and watch a movie or something," I stated.
"Do this for yourself," he said, locking his eyes with mine.
"I'm doing this for myself," I said, pointing to our surroundings.
Raising an eyebrow, he stated, "Clary, you're in a car park."
"A car park full of people," I added, before shaking my head and frowning. "You're going on about me not helping myself but what are you doing to help yourself? You're suffering, you told me last night, so how are you helping yourself?"
He looked at me closely before he answered softly and unevenly, "I'm letting someone in which I barely do."
"Really, who?" I asked, raising my eyebrow.
A corner of his mouth seemed to turn up in an innocent smile. "You," he said softly, before adding more strongly. "Look, I've had a bad childhood so I've closed myself up so I don't get hurt. I barely let my parents in, but after that night I needed someone, I couldn't hold it in I chose you Clary." When I didn't say anything he carried on. "You need me too, I can tell because you're willing to let me touch you, but not even your mom. Okay, this is going to sound corny ,but can't we be each other's band aids? We can help each other. That is why I'm asking you to come tonight, I want to help you."
My eyes took in his golden eyes that seemed to confirm that his words were spoken from the truth and in fact he really did want my help and wanted to help me as well. As the silent caved in on us, my voice cut smoothly through it. "Fine, I'll go."
How did you guys like it?
Where do you think I could take it? I do have a fair idea myself, but I'm always open for new ideas :)
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Until next time,
Ex oh ex