Heya :)

So I did what I promised you all and updating again. Two updates in two days, I'm good...no wait make that three; I have another chapter waiting to be posted :)

I have so bad news though. My mum is cancelling the internet...I think if I can be careful though, I'll be able to use the internet off my phone to post new updates, so fingers crossed :) Actually, fingers crossed mum doesn't actually go through with it ;)

Anyhow, this chapter is just a fill in chapter, but it's still rather interesting :)

Enjoy :)

Clary's pov

'I like feisty reds,' he repeated as he leant over my bed and grabbed my thighs in his rough hands.

'Leave me alone…please,' I begged him in a whisper of a tone as tears erupted from my eyes and the feel of his ragged hands moved further upwards. I tried to push his away but he was too strong for me.

'I've been waiting for you, Red. I've been waiting so long for you and now I have you,' he whispered into my ear, his sour breath against my neck. 'You're mine.' And then I was swallowed up in flashing memories of the incident as his hands travelled over my body, repeatedly laughing out the same thing over and over again. 'You're mine, you hear me…you'll always be mine!'

I jumped awake as a hurtling scream tore from my frail body and through the house. Sweat ran from my forehead and the sheets clung onto me for dear life as my continuous nightmare flashes within my head. Just then Luke and mom ripped open my bedroom door and flew over to me in a heartbeat. "What happened?" Luke asked alarmed looking around.

I closed my eyes and bought my legs up to my chest, rocking my body. "Go back to sleep," I whispered, wiping my tears on my pyjama pants. "It was just another nightmare."

"Was it the same one?" Mom asked.

I nodded, as I closed my eyes feeling exhausted, but refused to let sleep come upon me so that the nightmare couldn't feed off of me any longer. "Just go back to bed," I whispered to them.

"Baby, we can talk about it with you," mom said softly. I could tell she wanted to come over to me and embrace me by the way the bed moved when her legs pushed against it.

"Please, just go to bed," I begged them burying my face into my arm. "I just want to be alone."

"Clary…"mom said more urgently now.

"No!" I said firmly. "Just leave me alone."

"Clary talk to me…every night you have these nightmares, but you won't talk to me about them," mom said, worriedness filling her voice.

"Because I don't want to talk about it," I said, my voice growing louder. The only reason I don't want to talk about it is because if I did, it'll seem more real… This nightmare no longer seemed like a dream, but a fact. That guy has won and has stolen who I was and left behind a pathetic body with a useless mind. That is why I won't talk about it; I wasn't ready to admit what I was yet.

"Jocelyn, just drop it and let her get some sleep," Luke said calmly.

"No Luke, if I do she won't sleep at all! Look at her, she's exhausted and not to mention starving!" Mom said frustrated.

I looked up her, and narrowed my eyes annoyed at her comment. "You don't have to worry about me! I'm fine," I stated, angrily.

"But that's the thing, you're not. You're breaking down and you're refusing to talk to anyone but that boy!" mom said, her voice becoming alarming louder.

"Get out!" I screamed at her. I buried my face back into my arm and let the silent tears roll onto my sleeve. Even she thinks I'm broken…

"No, talk to me. Tell me something, anything! I want to understand what you're feeling," she said. I felt her weight against my mattress as she sat down on it.

I looked up at her, my eyes narrowing as words flowed from my mouth without me realising at first. "You'll never ever understand what I'm feeling, so stop trying! The old Clary that told you everything isn't here anymore mom, she was left at the accident and now you're left with me, a Clary that is broken and frail," I said through my teeth.

"Clary…" she started.

"And you know what," I said, my head feeling dizzy now with the crying and my breath tightening. "That monster that you said won't hurt me any longer, he won't stop."

"What are you talking about?" Mom asked, confused.

"I can sense it. He'll come for me," I cried, pulling myself up from my bed and tripping on my blanket, falling flat on the floor. This isn't going to end…it won't. Even at the depths of sleep I'm haunted and abused. This won't leave me, he won't leave me. If he isn't physically in front of me, he's at the back of my mind, watching me… My breath hitched then and the breath I had moments before seemed to have been ripped out of me. I fell onto my side, breathlessly holding onto my throat as my dream passed through my mind. 'You're mine, you hear me…you'll always be mine!' Tears seemed to flood out, soaking my cheeks as the memory of his haunting eyes passed over my mind and my legs felt like they were being ripped open from where his touch seemed to still linger…his touch seemingly impossible to become clean of.

"Clary breath. You got to breath honey," I hear a voice echo in the background, but my mind seemed to spiral down into a haunting pit of memories.

"What's happening to her, Luke?" Mom?

"She's having a minor panic attack… Let go of your hair Clary. You're going to pull it out." Luke? Panic attack? Pull my hair out? It was then that I realised I had grabbed onto my hair tightly and was pulling at it. Lessening my grip on it, I bought my arms around myself, hugging myself as I tried take in deep breathes.

"Are you okay, Clary?" Luke asked me, bending down close to me, close enough for the warmth to flow off of him.

"I-I want you two to leave," I whispered, "Please."

"Alright," Luke whispered as he got up off the ground. "Come on Jocelyn."

"But-Luke," she whispered, unsure what to do.

"She knows where we are, now let her be," he assured mom as he directed her out of the room and shutting it slightly to give me the peace I asked for. I just lied there in a ball for who knows how long, just breathing and trying to clear my head from the thoughts that cased my minor panic attack to occur. Sitting up, I looked at my bed and felt an urge to go back as my exhaustion let itself known, but I refused to go back. I picked up one of my blankets off my bed and trotted silently down the staircase to the lounge room. Placing myself on the sofa, I curled up in my blanket and turned on the TV, turning it to a random channel, hoping it'd keep me awake. Looking at the clock, I saw it read 3:56am. 'Great,' I thought.

Morning-7:30am

Yawning, I let the morning cartoons keep me slightly entertained as mom slowly walked into the room. "Morning sweetie," she said, coming over to pick up the popcorn bowl she had left the night before on the coffee table. "What time did you get up?"

"Around four," I commented softly as I watched the cartoon figure on the screen.

"Four this morning? Clary, why didn't you wake me?" she complained.

"Because you needed your sleep," I said, only paying half my attention to her.

"And so do you. You have your counselling session today," she informed me.

"I'm not going," I said simply.

"And why not?" She asked, hands on hips.

"Because I don't feel the need to and plus I can't be bothered putting up with her today," I admitted truthfully.

"But you need to go," she said.

"Well that still doesn't mean I have to go, so I'm not," I said stubbornly. To be honest I just needed a break from everyone fussing over me even if it was only for a day.

"Well then you wouldn't mind if I go," mom said, seriously.

"Why would you want to do that?" I asked, sitting up.

"Because I can and I will," she said, walking out of the room, my eyes following her disappearing figure as I questioned what her motives were.

Jocelyn's pov

I needed to help Clary, but last night she was completely right with what she was saying- I had absolutely no idea what she was going through and as her mother I should be there for her, but how can I when I don't have a clue how to help. Luke has been amazing and supportive for her, but the smiles she gives out these days are dead, lifeless ones; as if my little girl feels trapped inside herself.

Walking into the plain, white building I was soon greeted by Maureen Brown, Clary's counsellor. "I'm sure you received my message that Clary won't be coming today," I asked her formally, missing out the greeting.

"Yes I did. Why don't we go into my office and have a chat, that's why you're here, isn't it?" she asked politely.

I nodded and followed her to her plain, white office and sat in one of the chairs while she sat in the one opposite it. "So how can I help you today Mrs Garroway?" she asked with a smile as she balanced a notepad in her lap.

"I have no idea how to help Clary. She seems to be pushing herself away from everyone?" I said, recalling all the times Clary flinched at any sudden movements from Luke or myself, and her nightmares.

"Well, in many cases like hers, the victim pushes themselves away from everyone, even their love ones as an act of protection. They are afraid that if they trust anyone they will get hurt again," she assured me.

"But she trusted us before the accident. I don't understand how that trust can just…disappear," I said, finally admitting my confusion.

Mrs Brown just shook her head. "That trust she had doesn't exist anymore. It was crushed when she was assaulted. It's nothing to do with you or your husband, but all to do with her and her feelings," she commented, writing something down on her notepad and handing it to me.

I looked at the paper and raised an eyebrow. "Haphephobia and Pistanthrophobia?" I asked, suddenly confused.

"They are Clary's phobias. I thought you would like to learn more about them to get a better understanding of what she's going through. Haphephobia is the fear of being touched which I'm sure you're aware of her having, and Pistanthrophobia is the fear of trusting people. Reading up on that will answer more of your questions that I don't answer today," she assured me.

"Are there many cases where these phobia's don't apply to some people?" I asked, thinking of the smile I saw reach out of Clary's face after her talk with Jace. I honestly have no idea what he does or says, but he eases her and sets her free, I saw that last night at the dinner. "There's a guy who she's been talking to her lately and she seems so at peace when he's around."

"I assume you're talking about Jace?" she asked, and once I nodded she carried on. "To be honest, I'm glad Clary has him, he seems to lift something inside of Clary when he's near. He keeps her feeling safe."

"But surely the boys dealing with stuff of his own? Who wouldn't be after experiencing something like they did?" I asked.

"I assume he is, but Clary doesn't seem to know he is which makes me think he's holding something in," she comments.

I thought for a moment and understood everything. "Should I tell his mother?" I asked.

She shook her head. "I think you need to see what happens with him and Clary. They might actually fix each other," she smiled.

"But should I let a teenage boy get so close to her?" I asked.

"Surely you're not asking that some romance would develop? I think not, I know for a fact that Clary's has no thought on romance at the moment," she said.

I nodded, letting her carry on informing me of my daughters' condition.

Jace's pov

Groaning, I slid through the front door hoping that no one could hear me slid in. My head felt like it was about to split as the killer hangover kicked it; and the awful position I slept in on the ally ground did my neck no justice. I quietly made it to the foot of the stairs and slowly crept up them until I heard a voice growl at the bottom of the stairs.

"And where have you been?" Maryse asked in a voice too loud for my liking.

"Would you keep your voice down, please?" I groaned as I turned around to face her.

"No, it's your fault you have a headache from drinking too much," she said raising her voice as she placed her hands on her hips in a disapproving manner.

"Whatever. I'm going to bed," I said, retracing my previous steps.

"Wait," she commanded. I turned around to see her coming up the stairs and stood next to me. Next thing I knew, she put her hand into my pocket and pulled out my phone and keys.

"What do you think you're doing?" I yelled, as I went to grab them, but she quickly moved them out of my reach.

"You'll get them back in a fortnight and this week you're going to help me with the guests' room," she said, walking back down the stairs.

"What the hell for?" I asked, outraged.

"For going out all night and getting drunk," she stated firmly, stopping at the bottom of the stairs to stare up to me. "No son of mine will do that! It doesn't look good."

"For me or for you?" I asked, my eyes narrowing.

"Oh for goodness sakes, of course you," she huffed.

"Yeah, right. That's why you look down to Alec, because you think he makes you look bad," I commented before racing up the stairs, not looking back once at her calls. As I moved quickly through the hallway, I came to halt outside my room because of the figure that stood blocking the entrance. "What do you want Izzy?" I groaned, holding my head as my brain banged against my skull. "I'm really not in the mood."

"Well I am. Why the heck did you leave me at Pandemodium last night? I had to get a bloody taxi home," she hissed, obviously quite angry.

"I just had to leave. Now let me pass," I said firmly, grabbing her by the shoulders and pushing her away. Shutting my door firmly behind me and locking it so no one could disturb me. Taking in a sigh of relieve, I made my way over to my bathroom and switched on the shower. Glancing at myself in the mirror, I looked ghostly and…broken. Shaking my head, I stripped down to nothing and stepped into the shower letting the stream and warm water coat my body as I sunk down to the ground, letting everything that hid in the shadow of my mind and body pour out.

So how was it?

Review and tell me what you think please :)

Until tomorrow,

ex oh ex