Well, well, well, hello again! I really don't have anything to say, so I'll just let all of you read the chapter. But first, of course, thanks to my latest reviewers- Happyham; Phantom's Beauty; fantasymask; Futuristic-dudette; Ygfi; Spiritual Stone; Kariah; Silvara; Sakurelle; adrian-air-fire; Lachlan; Linkfizzle; Gir Crazy; The Al Bhed Princess; shinsei101; Infernal Flame Zero; Omega87; Ericketiting; TheGoddessKnight; and Sheik's twin (for two reviews).

Disclaimer: I do not own the Legend of Zelda series, in whole or in part.

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"First of all," I told Link in the heaviest accent I could possibly make, "show her how manly you are, and tell her that she should be honored to have a man like you in her life."

Link looked puzzled. "How do I do that?"

"That's for you to figure out, young man."

To my surprise, Link got down on his knees. "No, please, I'm afraid you don't understand. I seriously have the hots for this girl, and I've tried to tell her that I love her, but something always gets in the way. It doesn't make it any easier that she's of... higher status than me."

How is Malon of higher status than him? I wondered. Well, whatever. I really should "help" him more, as much fun as it is to watch him beg for my assistance...

"Come now, sit back down, and listen carefully," I commanded. Link took the seat and looked me in the eyes, making me blush slightly as I thought back to the night before, when he came to check on me. "You must convince the girl that you are the perfect man for her, and you will not accept her rejection."

"But isn't that kind of... forceful?"

"A minor detail. But if you're really that worried, then just tell her that you love her more than anything, that you're incomplete without her. You know, smother her a bit. Women like to be assured that they are loved. Don't leave any doubt in her mind."

"Well, that's kind of a big step for me. Isn't there anything I can do just to gauge her interest first?"

I sighed. This was harder than I thought! "Okay, how about you invite her to do something with you. Take her out fishing, or hunting. Or, better yet, you seem like the collecting type to me-"

"I used to collect bugs as a child," Link interceded.

"Ah, perfect! Tell her that you want to start another bug collection, just for fun, and you want her help to catch some." All the things I love to do, and Malon hates. Boy, will she be in for a surprise when the man of her dreams asks her to use various weapons, or bait a fishing hook with a worm, or go to the swamp to collect rare bug specimens!

Link jumped up and shook my hand excitedly. "Thank you so much, Madame Hexe."

"You are most welcome, young man. Feel free to come back anytime."

"I will." Link dropped his payment into the basket, and, with that, he was gone.

I took a deep breath, letting it out slowly as I watched him leave. I still couldn't believe that less than a day before, I'd seen the beautiful upper-body muscles once again hidden under his clothing. I smiled to myself, hoping that Link would take my advice and scare Malon away.

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Later that evening, I sat in the courtyard, enjoying the cool Spring air as I read one of my favorite books. Since Link was in some sort of meeting with my father, the guards were hidden in nearby trees, taking in the surroundings.

"Zelda?" I heard a female voice.

I closed the book and looked up, spotting Malon crossing the lawn. "Hey, Malon, what's up?"

"I hope it's not too late for a visit, but I really need to talk to you about something."

I motioned for Malon to sit next to me on the grass. She did so slowly, after gathering her dress skirt and checking that the grass wasn't wet. "What is it you want to discuss?"

"The thing is, I went into town recently, and there was a gypsy there. And, call me crazy, but I asked her for some love advice."

I gulped. "What did you do that for?"

"Because I'm in love, Zelda," Malon sighed. "I fell head-over-heels for a man that comes to visit the ranch. You see, he really loves Lon Lon Milk, and he drops by almost every day to get some. When he visits, we usually talk for quite a long time."

I raised my eyebrows. "So how do I figure into this?"

"Well I tried to take the gypsy's advice, but it just didn't feel right. I mean, it was just too unlike me. I love him so much, Zelda, I know I do. And I was really hoping that you could help me think of something to do about it. Something that's more like what I'd really do. I mean, you are my best friend and all. Besides, you seem to know how to act around guys."

I chuckled a little. "What makes you say that?"

"Well, gee, Zelda, look at all your suitors!"

"Yeah, they're all jerks. The only somewhat-nice one turned out to be a Stalfos, and Link had to kill the creature when it attacked me yesterday."

"Then look at you and Link. The two of you are so close, and I really envy that. Even if you two aren't, you know, an item yet, you have this special thing going, one that any guy would love to have with you."

"Yet? Try never," I muttered under my breath. Unfortunately, Malon heard me.

"What do you mean never?" she asked. "I mean, it seems pretty obvious to me that Link has fallen hard for you," she added ruefully.

I blushed at that, feeling awkward that someone else who loved him had noticed. "Are you sure? Impa tells me the same thing, but I can't help but get the sinking feeling that he likes someone else."

Surprisingly, Malon grinned. "Does that mean you like him, too?"

Uh-oh. "Uh, so, anyway, back to this guy that you love."

It was Malon's turn to blush. "He's so wonderful, Zelda. He's tall and muscular, with thick, blonde hair and the most amazing blue eyes. He always wears this red tunic, like the guards here. I've asked him if he works at the castle, but he won't tell me. He says it's privileged information, or something like that."

Wow, she really has it bad for... wait, did she say a red tunic? But Link...

"Anyway, he's always so nice to me. He insists on paying double price for the Lon Lon Milk, saying that he's happy to do it just to have such wonderful company. And he often speaks of his many adventures as a child. His parents traveled a lot, and he often accompanied them."

Okay, red tunic, parents... who the heck is she talking about? I thought she loved Link!

"The problem is, I just don't know what to do. I think he likes me, too, but the gypsy told me that I have to do what he likes to do to get his attention. And you know how prissy I am," Malon commented, staring at the ground.

"Well, I say, just be yourself. I mean, if he really likes you, it should be for who you are, not who he thinks you should be."

Malon looked up and smiled at me. "Thanks, Zelda. I knew I could count on you."

I sighed. I can't believe how horrible I've been acting. Here she is, pouring her heart out to me due to some advice that I gave her in my gypsy form. Gosh, I'm an awful person. If she loves Link, who am I to stand in her way? But then again, some of the things she mentioned don't sound like Link, unless he's leading some sort of double-life.

"You know," Malon added, "I just realized that I never even told you his name!"

"What is it?" I asked, forcing a smile.

"Cullen," she said cheerfully. "Well, I'd best get home. Thanks again for everything, Zelda. Hey, you know, I really should come to visit you more often."

"Uh, yeah, sure," I murmured as she stood up.

"Bye, Zelda!"

"Bye Malon!" We waved to each other, and once she was out of sight, I, too, stood up. I brushed off my dress, grabbed my book, and went inside. I sought out Impa to tell her the news.

As I looked for her, I thought back on what had just transpired. So Malon didn't love Link. Oops.

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