Chapter Thirty-Five: Decisions

It took them only a few minutes to drive to Buffy's house and then Buffy led the way into the house with Spike carrying Joy close behind. Dawn and Willow were waiting in the living room nervously.

"Is she okay?" Dawn asked as Spike entered the house.

"Take her upstairs." Willow instructed without asking any questions. "She's staying in Buffy's room at the end of the hall."

Spike carried her quickly up the stairs and down the hallway into the bedroom, and then carefully laid her on the bed, propping her hurt leg up with a pillow. She moaned slightly at the movement but bit her lip and bared the pain bravely.

"How do you feel Joy?" Buffy was standing directly behind Spike, worriedly surveying the young slayer.

"Fine, just a little achy." Joy forced a smile. "I was stabbed twice after all. Plus I didn't even get to kill the bitch!"

Spike grinned. "She seems to be doin' fine."

"Will, could you get something to clean her up?" Buffy requested as the redhead hovered in the doorway anxiously. Willow left immediately and returned moments later with a few cleaning supplies.

"Do you want me to clean her up?" Willow offered. Buffy looked to Joy for her answer.

Joy shrugged. "Actually, I'd love some tea Willow. Spike can take care of my cuts."

Willow glanced at Buffy who nodded quickly and the witch left the room. Buffy stepped back to give Spike more space and waited for Joy to give her a command.

"Would you mind sending Angel up here, please?" Joy asked Buffy when she realized that the vampire was not in the room.

Buffy sighed but nodded obediently and went to fetch the requested man. Giving Joy her space was going to be difficult but Buffy was determined to make it work.

When they had been left alone Joy began to reveal her true suffering. Her breathing had been painful and now she drew in long jagged breaths, pressing her hand to her chest, feeling the sticky blood that was slowly drying and caking to her skin. She whimpered as she adjusted the position of her leg, feeling as though a thousand blades were still sticking into her thigh.

"Joy, luv, are you alright?" Spike took a glass of water from the nightstand and dipped a hand towel into it. "Talk to me please. Don't be stubborn right now." He moved her hand away from her chest and replaced it with the damp towel. He had to maneuver around the small slit in the shirt in order to fully clean the cut.

Joy shivered as the water touched her chest and inhaled deeply at the stinging pain. "It hurts." She confessed simply.

"Yea, I kind of got that impression." Spike grinned and brushed a strand of hair away from her face.

Angel joined them in the room and automatically came to Joy's other side. "Feeling any better?" Joy shook her head slowly. "What can I do for you?"

"You've already done more than enough." Joy told him. "You two always seem to be there for me when I need you. I'm sorry I just ran off like I did, but I was scared, for Dawn…"

"It's okay, we understand." Angel assured her.

"You really are incredible though you guys." She smiled. "Both of you." The guys beamed from the compliment. "I always feel safe when I'm with either of you. I know you're always watching after me."

"Joy, you mean a lot to me." Angel told her. "Sort of like a baby sister. I would do anything for you." He realized how awkward it was confessing his care for Joy in front of Spike and quickly dropped the subject.

Spike seemed to feel the need to compete. "Yea, me too. Or well, something like that at least…maybe not exactly a sister…" He blushed slightly and turned his focus to the towel in his hand.

Joy smiled at Spike's embarrassment. "You guys are the best." Another pain shot through her leg and she trembled again.

"We need to disinfect your cuts Joy, they could be dangerous." Angel decided, leaning over her leg to inspect it. Spike handed Angel the disinfector that Willow had brought up. "It would be easier if these pants weren't in the way." He thought out loud. "Would you mind if I tear the pant leg enough for me to see clearly?"

Joy shrugged. "They're your pants." He grinned. "Here…" She reached her hand underneath the pillow behind her head and withdrew a small knife. "Use this."

Spike and Angel frowned. "You sleep with that under your pillow?" Spike questioned. "Isn't that a bit dangerous?"

Joy smiled. "Probably. But I'm a pretty relaxed sleeper. I don't move very much." She realized how strange it probably seemed. "Umm, it's a habit, for protection…never mind."

Angel shook his head and took the knife, easily cutting off the pant leg to her upper thigh, giving himself enough access to the wound. He handed her the knife and she returned it to its place beneath her pillow. He took a towel from Spike and pressed it to the wound on Joy's leg. She flinched slightly as the cool, damp cloth touched her leg.

"Did I hurt you?" He asked with immediate concern.

"No," Joy assured him. "It just stings a little."

"Okay, let me know if it hurts." Angel took the disinfector from Spike and dripped it onto her wound. She squeezed her eyes shut as it burned.

Spike suddenly stopped his cleaning process on her chest wound and pulled back slightly.

"What's the matter Spike?" Joy asked, instantly noticing the change in his behavior.

"Uh, nothing." Spike stuttered. "Nothing at all…" He took a couple of steps back towards the door. "I'll be back in a minute." And he left the bedroom.

Buffy was waiting in the hallway and instantly recognized the savage gaze in Spike's hungry eyes. She led him away from the doorway and spoke quietly so Joy wouldn't hear. "There's blood in the fridge. Help yourself."

"Thanks." Spike mumbled and hurried down the stairs, eager to eat.

After Spike had left them Joy turned to Angel for an explanation. "Did I do something wrong?"

"Okay, I need to explain something to you that may not be very easy for you to hear or to understand." Angel decided, as he continued to bandage her wound. "Spike cares about you. He cares about you a lot, actually, a little more than I would like him to." Joy seemed ready to interrupt but Angel quickly shushed her. "Let me talk without your questions or comments, okay? I need to get this out before I think better of it." Joy shut her mouth in response. "Anyway, the reason that I don't think Spike should care about you so much, is because he is a vampire. That will never change. It's just who or what he is. See, I'm a vampire too, but I have a soul. Which means I understand the evilness of a vampire's actions. Spike, however, does not understand that. He is controlled by a chip that the government stuck into his brain. Without that chip he'd be just like any other blood-thirsty vampire." Angel could tell that it was hard for Joy to be listening to his explanation but he continued with determination. "Even though he tries to ignore his vampire instinct and to fit in with the Scoobies, he can't. It's just not possible for him. His thirst for blood is a part of him. It runs deep in his veins. It's more than a desire or a need it is a deep innate craving for life. Do you understand that? He needs blood to live."

"I know…" Joy said simply.

"I know you know, but do you understand that Spike has that craving all the time. It never leaves him. Even when he's with you acting perfectly normal and sweet and human…he's still feeling that inhuman lust for the devouring of a human's life…" He paused. "I have it too, but unlike Spike, I have learned to control it and to almost ignore it."

"Why are you telling me this?" Joy asked emotionally. She didn't like hearing about the vampire nature of her two best friends.

"Because you need to hear it, Joy. You need to understand what sort of animal you are letting into your life…"

"Wait, what? I'm not letting anybody into my life…"

"Joy, I can read you better than you think. I know that Spike cares about you and I also realize that you care about him, more than you will probably ever admit to yourself. To you, I am your best friend, like a brother, but Spike…it's not the same with him, is it? He's more than just a friend or a brother. And I know that you feel it when you're with him." Angel finished with her leg and continued the wound that Spike had been fixing.

"I don't know how I feel about Spike." Joy confessed. "I don't think I like him like that, but you're right, I guess. I do care about him. He means a lot to me. He's done a lot for me. And that's not something that I'm likely to forget anytime soon."

"I'm not trying to make you forget your gratitude towards Spike. I just want to be sure that you're aware of what you're opening yourself up to." Angel told her comfortingly.

"I appreciate your concern, Angel." Joy looped her hand around Angel's neck and pulled his face close and kissed his cheek caringly. "You're an incredible friend to me."

"Well, it's hard work always having to look after you, but I guess you make it worth it." He joked.

"Anyway, about your little informative lecture…what's your advice on my friendship with Spike. Are you telling me not to let him into me life? Not to trust him?"

"No. I want to tell you that you can trust Spike. In the past year he's proven his worth in many battles with the Scoobies, but I'm just afraid that if anything ever happened to the chip in his head…well…before he had that he was the worst sort of vampire and that could be dangerous to you." He held her hand caringly. "I don't want to see you get hurt. That's all that I'm trying to say. Just protect yourself."

"I will."

"Promise me." Angel demanded.

"I promise," Joy smiled, trying to convince Angel of her seriousness.

"Okay." Angel kissed her forehead. "I think you're all good now." He wandered over to the still unpacked suitcase lying on the floor and started searching through her clothes for something more comfortable and clean for her to wear. "Now, try and stay out of life-threatening situations Slayer." Angel grinned at her teasingly.

"Well, I'll do my best, but my boss might get a little upset if I start ditching all my shifts." Joy sat up slowly and tried not to flinch at the sting in her chest and leg. It wasn't as painful as before and it would probably be mostly healed by the next day, but it was still just a little sore.

"Joy, are you all cleaned up?" Buffy peeked her head into the bedroom and Joy smiled at her from the bed.

"Come on in Buffy. Angel's failing miserably at finding me something to wear." She laughed. "Do you think you could help him?"

Buffy grinned and pushed Angel away from the suitcase, trying to ignore how sweet he was being in his constant care for Joy. She didn't need that sort of confusion in her life right now. As far as she was concerned, Angel was simply Joy's friend who had no connection whatsoever to Buffy's own past.

"I'll leave you girls alone while you change Joy," Angel decided. "I'll wait downstairs."

"He's a good person." Joy commented mostly to herself.

"Yes he is." Buffy sighed. "So is Spike, usually." She grinned. "They both seem to care a lot about you."

"I know." Joy nodded. "Where is Spike?" She let Buffy help her stand and change into a pair of her own sweatpants and a tank top.

"He's in the kitchen…eating." Buffy told her.

"Oh," Joy sighed. "I need to go talk to him for a minute, do you think you could give us a minute alone. And then I'll come talk to you and Giles, I promise."

Buffy seemed anxious to question Joy but nodded politely and walked with her down the stairs until Joy reached the kitchen and then she left her alone and went to wait in the living room.

Joy entered the kitchen slowly, surprised at how little her leg hurt as she walked. Spike was standing over the kitchen sink guzzling down a mug of what Joy assumed to be blood. She cleared her throat to let him know she was there. He turned to her and she gasped softly at his changed face. She had never seen Spike's vampire face and the difference was a little shocking. But she did her best to mask her surprise.

"Umm, I talked to Angel, after you left." Joy started slowly.

"Yea, what'd you talk about?" Spike looked away from her for a minute and when he looked back his face was normal again.

"About you." Joy stated simply.

"Oh," Spike hung his head. "He told you to watch out for me, huh? To protect yourself, to bloody stay away from me!"

"Something like that." Joy shook her head. "He just warned me to be careful, and I…"

"Told him you could handle yourself?" Spike tried to guess her thoughts.

"No, I promised him I'd be careful. I don't think it's a secret that I don't entirely trust you, but for that matter, I'm not sure I entirely trust Angel either. But at the same time, I know that you care about me, and that means a lot, and I'm not just going to ignore that because you might not be completely trustworthy."

"Well, that's very good of you." He sighed. "I can't change what I am Joy."

"I'm not asking you to."

"Then, you're okay with what I am?" Spike asked hopefully.

"Until you give me a reason not to be." Joy smiled. "Come on, the Scoobies want to interrogate me. It should be loads of fun." She headed out of the kitchen and Spike followed instantly. Everyone was gathered in the living room, including Dawn who was sitting on a chair in the corner of the room, still looking very shaken up. Dawn sat next to her and took her hand comfortingly. "I'm sorry I didn't tell you all the whole truth about my vision." Joy started the conversation.

"Why didn't you?" Buffy demanded.

"I thought I would be protecting you all from unnecessary stress and pain. I knew that I could take care of it myself…well at least I thought I could. Thank you for saving my life by the way Buffy." Joy forced a grateful smile towards the older slayer.

"I assume you did not realize that Faith was a slayer when you killed her…" Giles thought out loud.

Joy shook her head. "I just assumed she was some wild murderer who realized that vampires worked for money." She sighed, "I guess I never really took the appropriate time to analyze the situation. I was a little bit crazy when I went after her. Hell bent on revenge, I guess you could say…"

Spike grinned slightly as he pictured the fiery aggression that he knew the young slayer could possess if the occasion called for it.

"You shouldn't have tried to do it yourself, Joy. I am always ready to help you in any situation, no matter what!" Buffy half scolded and half encouraged.

"I know that, I knew that before too, sometimes I can just be very determined…"

"You mean stubborn." Angel grinned.

"Okay, fair enough." Joy shrugged. "I'll try to be more honest next time I have a head-splitting vision that predicts my best friend's death." She sighed. "I don't understand why I had a vision, or why it hurts so bad…"

Giles cleared his throat. "We are going to help you figure this out. The council has agreed to bring you to England so that you can work with their seers there and hopefully you will learn to control your visions as well as understand where they come from."

"The council, in England? Hmm…that could be interesting, or scary…" Joy shrugged. "When do I leave?"

"Tomorrow morning. The council will have a private jet ready at five o'clock, just before sunrise." He glanced around the room. "Angel will be accompanying you."

Joy's eyes brightened. "I don't have to go alone?"

"That is of course, if Angel does not mind." Giles realized that he had not yet asked the vampire.

Angel quickly nodded. "Of course! I would never let Joy go all the way to Europe alone." He grinned at the young girl. "I sort of feel like her watcher, in a way."

Joy nodded. "You sort of are my watcher!" She glanced at Giles apologetically. "He did train me you know!"

Giles nodded. "I am aware of your companionship with Angel and that is why I arranged for him to join you in England. Trust me, the council was not exactly thrilled at the prospect of having a vampire join them."

Joy smiled. "Did you explain to them that he's a good vampire?" Angel beamed at the compliment, which was very high coming from Joy.

"Don't worry, the council is very familiar with what Angel is." Giles assured her.

"You say that like it's a bad thing." Angel frowned.

Joy grinned. "We'll prove that you're good, okay? I guess I better go and pack."