In case any of you don't notice when you read this new chapter...I added another chapter before this one as well, but I added them at the same time so you might have missed that! I just wanted to make sure that you read them both to understand this one...
A/N: Okay, I think this is definitely the longest chapter I've ever written, but I think it covers a lot! So enjoy! And please continue to review. I'm not going to stop this story if I don't keep getting reviews, mainly because I'm so interested in writing it and I have a lot of ideas for the upcoming chapters, so I don't think it's possible for me to get bored with it. But it's always encouraging to hear from my readers who are enjoying it! Thanks! Kisses to all! Nat
Chapter Thirty-Six: The Council
"Welcome to England, Miss Peters," a gray-haired man with tiny spectacles resting on his nose and dressed even more tidy than Giles, greeted Joy and Angel the next night as their private plane finally landed. His stuffy manner was plainly evident, not only by his lack-of-smile greeting but by his complete ignorance of Angel's presence. Joy had expected for the council to be apprehensive about her vampire guardian but she had hoped they would at least be civil. Angel hardly seemed phased by their coldness.
"And…" Joy pressed. She couldn't let it pass as easily.
"And Angel, we welcome you as well." The man forced out through seemingly gritted teeth.
"Thank you, I'm glad to be here." Angel replied with a sarcastic grin. He stood close to Joy protectively and nodded to the council man to lead them on. He nodded curtly and led them into an enormous ancient building that almost resembled a sort of castle. There was a young, neatly dressed woman standing in the well-lighted entryway waiting to greet them as they entered.
"This is Lydia, she will show you to your rooms." The man dismissed himself and disappeared down a long corridor to the left of the foyer.
Lydia nodded formally. "Welcome, please follow me." She started walking up an elegant marble staircase. "I hope you're flight here was satisfying."
"Satisfying?" Joy started to grin at her British accent and word choice but decided to stay polite, even if she was a little sarcastic. "Yes, thank you. It was perfectly satisfying."
Lydia walked briskly down a long hall lit by chandeliers until she reached a doorway. "Mr. Angel, this is where you will be staying." She opened the door into an ornately decorated suite.
"What, no dungeon? Chains?" He joked, glancing around the huge room.
She ignored his attempt at humor. "The refrigerator over there contains an adequate supply of blood for you."
"Thank you." Angel dropped his joking demeanor, deciding that he should probably try and make a good impression on all these fancy British folks, since they seemed to be sort of in charge of the whole Slayer operation. Then again, he had orders from the Powers so who else should he need to impress?
"Miss Peters, if you would please follow me, your room is at the end of the hall." Lydia continued to walk and Joy tugged at Angel's jacket sleeve to make him come with her. She was feeling a little overwhelmed by the enormity of the council's boarding house and wasn't quite ready for the challenge of facing any of them alone. He followed her obligingly.
At the end of the hall Lydia opened the door to Joy's spacious suite. It was even larger than Angel's and decorated with even more elaborate furniture.
"Tomorrow morning someone will meet you here, at your room to show you the way to the dining hall and explain to you all that you will be doing while staying with us. I hope you find your room comfortable." Lydia waited as Joy wandered into the suit and took in all its splendor.
She stopped short at the king size bed. It was absolutely beautiful, a golden framed canopy with deep scarlet velvet blanketing, but in three places above the headboard and fixed at each corner of the bed frame itself, were rather noticeable crosses.
"Is that really necessary?" Joy frowned, pointing at the crucifixes. Angel raised his eyebrows.
"Well, we can never be too safe, of course. Especially with the American slayers. We have been well informed of Miss Summers's past relationships, especially the one with yourself Mr. Angel, as well as the consequences that followed." Lydia announced bluntly. "While you are staying here with the council, we must ask that you refrain from any form of romance with one another and…"
"Excuse me!" Angel cut in quickly. "What exactly are you implying? Joy and I are not in any sort of romantic relationship and we have never…well…frankly, my past with Buffy is none of your damn business!"
"No shit." Joy agreed.
"Pardon my assumptions." Lydia did not seem at all as apologetic as she claimed. "Rest well." She turned and walked briskly down the hallway, briefly glancing back over her shoulder as though checking to see if Angel had left Joy's room yet. When Joy glared back at her Lydia continued without looking back again.
Laughing at the council members' foolish conceit, Joy shut her bedroom door and started prying the crosses away from the bed.
"They're every bit as slimy as Buffy described." Joy sighed. "Just give me a second and I'll have these crosses destroyed." She continued ripping the metal fixtures off of the wall and frame.
"Don't worry about it Joy, I expected as much from the council." Angel sighed. "Well, I should probably let you get your sleep. Who knows what sort of training they're going to be putting you through tomorrow."
"You're probably right." Joy yawned unintentionally. "Will I see you in the morning?"
"It depends on what sort of sun protection this place has got." Angel shrugged.
"Right, I didn't think about that."
"Goodnight." Angel left the bedroom and headed back to his own suit, leaving Joy alone to try and sleep.
The next morning She was awoken with less sleep than she ever imagined possible. It was one of those nights where she felt as though she had just closed her eyes, but this night she really had just closed her eyes when a loud knock on the door was waking her up again.
"Just a minute," Joy called groggily, rolling out of bed and tripping her way over to the door. She opened the door with squinted eyes. "What?"
"Miss Peters, I am Martha and I have come to tell you it is time for breakfast." An older woman who was dressed very crisply.
"No it's not. I haven't even slept yet." Joy wanted to close the door. "Come back later."
"I am sorry, but you must start your day now, even though you are not yet at the same time as we are. You will soon adjust to England's time." Martha shook her head. "Dress yourself quickly and then come out in the hall. I will be waiting."
Joy, still half-asleep, closed the door and made her way back to the closet where someone had already hung up all her clothing from the suitcases. She dressed in comfortable sweatpants and a tight tank top that would easy for her to move in, no matter what sort of training the council put her through.
"Alright, I guess I'm as ready as I'll ever be at this freakishly early hour." Joy reluctantly followed the woman down the hall. "What about Angel?" She asked as they passed his room.
"Mr. Angel has been informed of all the areas he may traverse in protection from the sunlight. You will undoubtedly see him this evening." Martha informed the slayer.
"Okay," Joy followed Martha down the hallway and down a different set of stairs than the ones that Joy had been led up the night before. At the bottom of the long staircase they turned left down a bright and wide-open corridor, lit purely by the natural sunlight flooding in through the wall-covering windows.
"After you have eaten, you will meet with Marcus Brown. He will be your personal watcher while you are here. If you have any questions or any difficulties during your training, you will converse with him." Martha informed Joy as she led the young girl into the dining room and pointed her towards the chair at the head of the long table. Nobody else joined her. "Eat well. Your training will be long and no doubt strenuous, requiring plenty of nutrition." She turned on her tall heeled shoe and left the room.
"Thanks. Good morning. Hope you have a great day…" Joy muttered to herself as she started digging into her immense collection of breakfasts foods, including plenty of scones and hot tea. Joy ate until she couldn't drink another sip of tea.
As soon as she put down her fork a young man stepped into the room. It was as though he had been watching her, just waiting for her to finish eating.
"Good day Miss Peters, I hope you slept well." The man who Joy assumed to be Marcus Brown seemed very young for a watcher, probably not much older than Buffy and her friends. He was dressed every bit as old and British as Giles though, in a perfectly pressed dark tweed suit with a white collared shirt and a dark brown tie with a tan sweater vest showing beneath the buttoned jacket.
"Thank you but no. I didn't really sleep at all." Joy shrugged. "So what's the plan, teacher?" She grinned as sweetly as a kindergartener, even though it was entirely sarcastic.
"Umm, yes, I suppose you were a bit off with the time difference." Marcus nervously ran his fingers through his short dark blonde hair. "I am sorry, I shall try not to work you too hard today." He seemed kind but much to timid and obedient for Joy's taste.
"Thanks bunches." Joy sighed and stood. "What's first?"
"If you please follow me," Marcus led her down yet another corridor and down more stairs to the lower half of the building where a professional looking training room was set up. It was incredible and had everything that Joy could ever imagine wanting for her own workouts. "First, the council would like for me to put you through a trial of tests."
"Tests?" Joy frowned.
"Of a sort. Everything that you would be required to do should be perfectly natural for a slayer, of course." Marcus assured her. Joy nodded her consent. Not that she would really have a choice though. "After you have completed all of the tests required of you, I shall explain the next party of your time here with the council."
The tests however took much longer than Joy anticipated and for the next few days she was made to suffer through a series of complicated routines that tested not only her physical defense capabilities but also her mental state, her emotional approach to fighting, and each and every one of her senses. It was a long process and very tiring, and most of the time Joy didn't even realize what she was capable of until she had completed the session. But, Marcus claimed that she succeeded brilliantly in all the tests that he put her through and on the fifth day she would finally be able to move on to the next part.
During her week of tests, Joy had not seen Angel once. She blamed the fact that Marcus stuck to a very strict routine and she was not allowed to return to her room until very late and by that time she was so exhausted that she did not think about visiting with Angel. On the fifth night though, they finished a little earlier than usual and Joy instantly went to Angel's room hoping that he would be there.
"Angel?" She knocked softly, not sure who she could wake up in that particular corridor, since it was so late already.
It took him a couple minutes but he eventually opened the door. "Joy!" His face lit up when he saw her. "What have you been up to this week? I haven't seen you at all."
"My new watcher has kept me very busy! He's been having me do all sorts of tests. I'm not really sure why, I guess to make sure that I'm actually capable of being a slayer." She shrugged with a grin. "Can I come in?"
"Of course." Angel stepped back and let her enter the room. "So, you have a new watcher?"
"Don't worry, he's nowhere near as good as you!"
"Of course he's not!" Angel grinned. "I'm the best there is! But still, is he nice? Does he treat you well?" Angel pulled a chair out from the desk and sat down while Joy jumped onto the bed. "Because, you know, if he treats you badly at all, I can take care of him for you…"
"Thank you Angel, I know you are always willing to beat someone up for my sake," Joy smiled mischievously. "But I don't think that'll be necessary with Marcus. He's actually really nice. A little uptight, but nice nonetheless."
"He better be."
"So, what have you been up to?"
"Nothing much." Angel shrugged. "I was shown to a room where I could practice my tai-chi without any sunlight to kill me and so I've been spending most of my time there." He sighed and Joy could tell that he had actually been quite bored for the past few days.
"I'm sorry that you were dragged into this Angel," Joy apologized sincerely. "I was so excited about not having to come to England all by myself that I didn't even think about how it would effect you." She fiddled with the rings on her fingers. "If you want to go home, I totally understand. I'll be fine here on my own, really. I can handle it."
Angel frowned. "Joy, nobody can handle the council on their own without some sort of nervous breakdown. I'm not mean enough to put you through that, so I guess you're sort of stuck with me."
"Are you sure?"
"Yes. I don't want you to ask me again." Angel told her determinely.
"Okay, fine. It's your decision." Joy gave in with a smile. She was very glad that Angel seemed okay with staying with her, even if he was completely bored. She realized that he would put up with anything for her. "I guess I should get to bed. Marcus has been working me like crazy and I have no idea what tomorrow's going to include, so I need to get as much rest as possible."
"Alright, sleep well. Maybe I'll see you tomorrow." Angel walked her back to the door and watched her walk down the hallway until she was safely inside her own bedroom.
"So, you're all witches?" Joy had just been introduced to a group of women who Marcus called "seers".
The women seemed slightly uncomfortable with that label, maybe even a little offended.
"Umm, no, actually, well in a way perhaps…" Marcus struggled to explain. "While most witches' powers come from practice and learning, the seers' powers are more innate. The gift of seeing events of the future is something that most people have to be born with. It is a gift from the goddesses, the servants to the Powers that Be." Everything Marcus said sounded liked a foreign language to Joy. She was completely confused.
"Umm…goddesses?"
"Yes, goddesses are very powerful women. At one time every goddess was a powerful witch who lived in the world, fighting alongside slayers against the forces of evil, but when the life of a goddess on earth ended, they retired to their positions as guardians of other earthly humans who possessed any sort of magical powers." Marcus was crunching the explanation in a hurry, trying to make Joy understand the best that he was capable. "There are very few goddesses left on earth, and there are actually very few existing in higher realms as well. Those that are there of course, are in direct contact with the Powers to ensure that their will is carried out…"
"Yea, you totally lost me." Joy sighed. "What do the seers have to do with the goddesses?"
"The goddesses bless seers with the gift of sight in order to protect slayers and witches more completely then the goddesses can do from their position as guardian. Goddesses are mostly just watchers from the heavens. They can not have direct contact with humans." Marcus finished. "Your unusual vision has given the council reason to believe that you are somehow gifted with the sight, which does not happen unless you have been chosen by the Powers or are a direct descendent from a goddess. Which is, of course, extremely rare. In fact, I am not certain that I have ever heard of a child of a goddess for over a hundred years."
"Well, that sounded like a lot of gibberish to me. What is it that you want the seers to do to me?" Joy questioned.
"They are going to attempt to make you reach within yourself to discover if you do have the gift…"
"Right…a bunch of hocus pocus and some meditating. I can do that." Joy smiled. "Where do I start?"
"This is Eline. She is sort of the leader of all of our seers here, and she will be helping you along with your seeing development. Of course, you may always talk with me if you ever wish." Marcus motioned a woman forward.
"It is nice to finally meet you, Miss Peters, I have been hearing much of you." Eline's dark red lips curled up elegantly. "I will greatly enjoy working with you."
"Thank you," Joy was in awe by the woman's striking natural beauty. She looked like a queen from a fantasy movie. Her skin was pearly white and looked almost shimmery. Her thick, long hair, braided into a plait down her back was the color of coal but it was silky and shiny. "But since we're going to be working together, you absolutely have to call me Joy."
Eline nodded. "Of course, I will call you whatever you like Joy. Please, let me introduce you to the others." Her eyes shone glimmered almost silver as she smiled at Joy and led her to the other witches, or seers, who were all sitting on cushions on the floor of an outdoor large gazebo type room. There were lit candles scattered around and some hanging in lanterns from the ceiling. Most of the women looked much normal in their beauty then Eline, but all were still stunning, mostly due to their kind eyes and genuine smiles as they silently welcomed Joy to their group. Eline started introducing the five women as she moved around the group pointing them out. "This is Sherie, Maxine, Rose, Dorah, and Natasha."
"Hey girls." Joy greeted. They were all girls. Well, women, but still young. No older than twenty-seven, probably, though Eline seemed a bit older then the rest, which was probably why she was in charge.
"Our seers come form many different places to study and learn to control their powers, just as you have come to us." Eline explained. "When they have learned all that we can teach them, they return to where they came from and use their powers to help others."
"Cool. Sounds like a party." Joy was trying hard to drop her sarcasm but she was still a little uncomfortable around all the strange magical people that she was meeting. "So, what are you going to do with me?"
"First, we would like to try and discover what the source of your visions are. Why you get them, what triggers them." Eline explained.
"Well, I've only had one vision so far, well two but they were sort of the same, but still, how do you even know that I'm going to have another vision?" Joy argued.
"I suppose that is what we are going to try and figure out." Eline motioned for Joy to take a seat on a cushion in the middle of the circluar room, so she would be surrounded by all the other seers. "Have you ever meditated before, Joy?"
"No, not really." Joy frowned. She was feeling a little bit worried about what sort of test they were going to put her through.
"Alright, well we need for you to meditate, in a way…" Eline sat next to her. "You need to take yourself into a deep place of silence, of peace. Your mind has to be at absolute rest with nothing able to disturb it's quiet concentration. Close your eyes. When you reach that place we will begin to prod you with questions or tests that you may not remember afterwards, but if you receive another vision, it will help us." Eline moved back so that Joy had a large empty circumfrence around herself. "Are you ready?"
Joy nodded and closed her eyes, with her legs crossed beneath her and her hands resting gently on her knees. "Let's do this." She started breathing in and out slowly then she stopped. "Wait, how do I reach my 'calm'?" She opened one eye curiously.
"Just focus. Clear your mind of your surroundings and anything that is pressing on your mind." Eline spoke in a soft voice. "Breathe and release your tension. Reach within your soul and find yourself."
Joy did as she was told. It was a lot harder then she made it sound though. First she had trouble forgetting about all the women that were gathered around her, inevitably staring at her. Watching her movements, her reactions, expressions, trying to read her emotions and see into her life. But after about ten minutes she had managed to stretch past her immediate surroundings and moved to her memories of the past week that she'd been in England. Then she forced herself to forget about her life and try to just feel, to sense, not to think. And then her mind finally emptied. Her mind turned white as though all her thoughts had been erased.
Soft indefinable whispers started fluttering across her blank mind and then images started flickering choppily into her consciousness. It was hard to understand them. Nothing seemed to make any sense, the people were unrecognizable and the voices were hard to hear. More whispers flooded her ears and more images crowded in.
"What is it honey? Who's there?" It was a woman's voice. It was sort of familiar, but still a little hard to hear completely.
"Sure, come on in to my office…" A man's voice responded. Joy whinced slightly as a sudden commotion burst out. It seemed to be fighting, but she couldn't figure out exactly what was happening. But there was definite struggling, yelling, cries of pain and shouts for help. Then their faces were there. It was them. It was her parents. They weren't dead, but…they were struggling against vampires. Joy was witnessing the night they died. She could see her mom. A vampire had thrown her to the ground and she was crying hysterically as the vampire started to feed on her.
"No! Please! Joy…" She had called out for her. Joy could hear her mother calling out for her. But she wasn't calling out to her, she was just calling out in agony. "Joy! She'll never know the truth…she has to know…her mother wanted her to know…"
She had called out for her. Joy could hear her mother calling out for her. But she wasn't calling out to her, she was just calling out in agony.Joy snapped out of her blank state of mind in an instant. She came back to reality sweating and with short breaths. The women around her were staring at her with wide eyes.
"What happened?" Eline questioned calmly.
"I had a vision." Joy gasped. "But it wasn't of the future." She trembled from head to foot. "I saw my parents dying and my mom…" She shook her head. "What did you do to me?"
"We did nothing that you were not capable of yourself." One of the women replied calmly. Joy couldn't remember her name, they were all the same to her at the moment.
"I don't want to see my parents die again!" She stood quickly and started walking away from the room of witches. "Stay the hell away from my mind!"
"Joy, we weren't in your mind." Eline tried to calm her down and to bring her back inside the circle. "We just helped you achieve the calm that you needed to see inside of your own mind and reach into your powers. Joy, you are a gifted young woman. To be able to see the past as well as the future is very unusual." Joy slowly allowed to be dragged back into the circle of witches but she remained standing.
"Can't you all see the past?" Joy asked the women.
They didn't even think about the answer before responding with a firm united 'no'. Joy didn't know what to say. She hadn't expected to have powers that none of the powerful witches of the council had. She slowly sat down.
"What do my visions mean?" Joy asked slowly. "I mean…my mom…she said something about me not…" She snapped her mouth shut suddenly. "Never mind. It doesn't matter." She shook her head, deciding that she wanted to keep her visions to herself for the time being. "I'm really tired. Do you think I can stop for today and come back tomorrow? I promise I'll be back early."
Eline nodded. "Of course Joy. It's very important for you to get your rest. We'll see you tomorrow."
Joy hurried away from the group of seers and ran all the way up to her room. She didn't stop to see Angel, she felt a strong need to be alone. To sleep or just to rest in silence. She had to be alone.
The next morning Joy witnessed the sun rising outside her wide window. She hadn't closed her eyes all night. She had spent most of the night working herself out until she was too exhausted to managed another sit-up. Then she had gathered multiple candles that had been placed throughout her room and arranged them in a circle around herself. She ran through the calming measures that the seers had taught her that day until her mind had become clear again. She wanted to see more. She wanted to go back to her parents death and find out what her mother had been talking about before the vision had disappeared. She had to know.
She had sat still with a completely empty mind for almost two hours and still nothing more about her parents had come to her. Finally Joy gave up and returned to working herself out, as though the physical aspect could somehow calm her down more then meditating managed to. However, even after another hour and a half of working-out, Joy didn't feel any less calm.
At the first signs of sunrise, Joy had dressed and hurried down to the kitchen, which she had wandered across a couple of days ago when she had escaped for a few minutes from Marcus after training one day. She grabbed herself a collection of random food for breakfast and then ran outside to where she had left the seers the day before. She didn't expect them to be grouped already, but she had hoped that maybe the atmosphere would help her receive the vision that her room wouldn't give her.
She carefully lit the multiple candles and the trays of insence. She sat down in the center of the gazebo with her legs crossed beneath her and her hands resting gently on her knees. Taking deep breaths, she started the process of clearing her thoughts, surprised at how easy it was for her after only a couple of tries.
Even with almost a half hour of silent and peaceful contemplation, Joy could not receive anymore visions revealing more about her parents' death or anything else for that matter.
"This is ridiculous." Joy muttered out loud when her frustrations finally outweighed her attempt at steady patience.
"It is impossible for anyone to gain perfection at the skill of the sight in only one day, Joy." Eline smiled knowingly from the doorway. "If you are able to believe in yourself, I can help you develop your skill further, and teach you the patience you need in order to receive visions as well as the strength you need to endure them."
Joy took a deep breath and then nodded slowly. "I'm willing to try. For some reason I'm seeing things in my head that I don't exactly like, and I'd like to figure out why, or at least how to make them go away when I don't want them…"
"Joy, I'm not sure I can tell you how to make them go away, but I can try and teach you to control them so the pain isn't as serious…" Eline started to explain.
"How do you know about the pain?" Joy asked with raised eyebrows.
"I can tell, the way that you have talked about them and also yesterday when you received your vision, I could see it in your face. The pain is excruciating to you, isn't it? So unbearable that even during the vision all you can think about is getting rid of it. The pain poisons your brain so you can not think straight." Eline was explaining what Joy experienced during her visions perfectly. She didn't even have to answer for Eline to realize that she was right. "Joy, the danger of the pain is that you might not realize what your vision is trying to tell you. You have to learn to control the pain, to ignore it, and to make the vision the priority, or furthermore, the only concern."
"Okay." Joy agreed quietly. "I'm willing to learn all that you can teach me."
"Good, we'll start right away." Eline ran a small bell that she had been holding behind her back and instantly the rest of the seers joined them.
The four weeks that Joy spent with the council passed faster then any since she had first learned of her destiny as the Slayer. She had spent every day studying with the Seers, practicing the quickest ways to reach her calm and how best to ignore the pain that seared into her brain every time she managed to catch a glimpse of a vision in her mind. She had yet to invoke a full vision but a few brief sights had been thrust upon her randomly throughout her days of training with the seers as well as with Marcus, who had not allowed her to abandon all of her slayer training, even though she spent most of her day working on her gift of the sight.
"Marcus, there's something that I've been wanting to ask you, well for a while. Ever since I came here really…" Joy hesitated one afternoon as she stretched out on the vast front lawn.
"Go ahead and ask Joy, you should never have to hold back with me." Marcus altered the position of her waist as she spoke.
"Giles filled me in on how becoming a slayer works, you know the whole one slayer dies and another is reborn, and all that…but I killed the slayer before me…" Joy sighed and stopped her routine stretches altogether. She stared at Marcus. "Why did the council make me, a murderer, a slayer?"
Marcus sighed and motioned for her to continue to stretch. "Contrasting to the seemingly popular belief, the council does not have that much control over the slayers. The council does not choose the line of slayers, the council simply guides the girls once they are already chosen, by the Powers That Be."
"The Powers?" Joy had heard brief mention of the Powers, mostly from Giles and Buffy, but also occasionally from Angel. "They chose me to be the new slayer? But why? What do they know about me?"
"Obviously enough to realize that you were the best choice for the position." Marcus shrugged and tapped the middle of her back, instructing her to straighten out her posture. "The Powers rarely make mistakes." He told her with a slight grin, indicating his firm belief in the Powers' ability to choose an appropriate slayer."
"So I guess that means you believe in me…" She smiled teasingly.
"Well, yea, I guess, I mean…" Marcus seemed suddenly at a loss of words. "You are an impressive young woman, Miss Peters…" He was blushing furiously and stuttering over his words.
"Ah, little Markie's embarrassed." Joy patted his head.
"No I'm…it's just that…I…" He fumbled for something to say.
"Don't worry about it Marcus. I'm just giving you a hard time. It's sort of fun actually." Joy returned to her stretches. "You're so sensitive."
"I am not!" Marcus tried to defend himself.
"Right, whatever you say." Joy straightened up fully. "I think I should go work with the seers now." She started walking towards the middle of the yard where the seers were already waiting.
"How are you today Joy?" Eline greeted Joy with a smile as the young slayer sat in the middle of the circle as usual.
"Fine, a little tired, but ready to work, as always." Joy crossed her legs and shut her eyes tightly. "What am I trying to see today? More deaths, possibly my own?" She gave a nervous smile. She was slightly distracted by what she had learned from Marcus earlier about how she was chosen to be a slayer. It intrigued her and yet confused her at the same time. What tie did she have to the Powers? Why would they want her to be in the position to fight against all evil? She wasn't anybody special, was she?
"Just clear your thoughts Joy." Eline instructed. Her voice instantly started fading as Joy forced her brain to empty and allowed the silence to take over.
This time though, Joy didn't sit silently for hours waiting for something to happen and then coming out of her trance with a disappointing emptiness at the pit of her stomach because of the lack of information that she had learned from her meditation. Today, she had barely cleared her head when a bright light flooded her mind and her soul seemed to be dragged to a place unknown in her reality. She wasn't just waiting with a clear head to see something she was experiencing what felt like a different realm, a different ethereal plane of existence.
All around her was a brilliant light that seemed to sparkle and glow. And there was a sort of slight buzzing, almost a hum that thrummed throughout her body. She stretched inside her mind trying to see more and then it happened. Someone appeared…a woman. She was beautiful, she was beyond beauty, she was magical, majestic, inhumane…and then she spoke, and her voice was more glorious then anything that Joy had ever heard before.
"I have not brought you here to frighten you Joy…" The woman crooned gracefully. "I believe that it is finally time for the truth to be revealed to you. I had hoped you would never need to know, however, I realize now that even I can not keep your gifts from developing further. I should have known this of course, since it was I who gave them to you in the beginning."
"What do you mean…" Joy responded softly, a little surprised that she had managed to find her voice at all in the presence of this strange and obviously supernatural woman. "Who are you?"
"I thought you would recognize me…it was a foolish hope I suppose…you were too young, obviously." The woman hung her head, letting her waist-long golden-blonde hair flow down the front of her slender shoulders. As she glanced back up, Joy cocked her head, slightly recognizing the familiar bright turquoise glint of the woman's eyes. "Joy I am…"
"Mom?" Joy cut her off with a disbelieving gasp. "Are you my…mother?"
The woman's face lit up with a pleased smile. "I knew you would recognize me!" She held out her arms. "My dear daughter."
"No, it's not possible…" Joy shook her head. "My mom was a model. Victoria Lyle Peters. She was a famous model and she died last year. She was murdered…" Joy's eyes were brimming with tears but even as she spoke the very true words, she realized that this woman standing in front of her was definitely who she believed her to be. "You can't be…I mean…how?"
"I am so sorry you had to find out this way, Joy. Trust me I would have rather you knew the truth about me when you were a baby. I would rather have had you be with me as a child, grown up with me as your mother, instead of being raised by those people who you believed to be your parents…" The woman's voice wavered with emotion. "Joy, I have always looked after you even though I could not be with you, and I have never not loved you. I do not know how to make you understand, but please believe that if there had been another way…"
Joy stopped her. "I do believe you, or I will believe you, but I need you to tell me everything…tell me everything…"
When she was finally snapped out of her ethereal vision, the seers were all standing around her with wide tense frowns and nervous eyes. As soon as Joy shook herself free from her meditation and started gasping to catch her breath, Eline burst out in plain relief.
"I've never seen someone in a vision for that long before! Joy, you had us so worried!" She rushed to Joy's side and tried to place a comforting hand on the young slayer's back.
Joy jerked away instinctively. "How long was I gone for?"
"Almost four hours…" One of the seers replied breathily.
Joy's eyebrows lifted and she sighed softly. "No wonder I'm so tired." She glanced up at the sky, noticing how dark it had become. "I'm going to bed." Her voice was shaky but she was trying hard not reveal her the true emotion she was feeling.
"But, what about…" Eline wanted to know so badly but she sensed Joy's need for her privacy to be respected. "Of course you're tired, umm, sleep well…"
Joy's body trembled as she pushed herself to her feet and took off at a nervous sprint back towards the Council building, wanting nothing more then the privacy of her own room. But as she passed Angel's door, she realized that she didn't want to be alone as much as she wanted to be comforted. She retraced her steps down the hallway until she was standing in front of the door to Angel's room. She raised her hand and rapt quickly with her fingernails. When he didn't respond she knocked harder with her knuckles. As she waited for him to respond, she took long deep breaths, trying to keep herself calm.
"Joy, what's wrong?" Angel asked instantly as he opened the door and saw the young slayer standing in the hallway, looking absolutely stunned and horrified.
"Umm, well," Her voice shook slightly and her breathing turned jittery. "I needed to talk to someone…" She held her hands together tightly, trying to stop her shaking. "Can I maybe umm, can I come in?" She sighed. "I just don't think I can be alone right now…"
"Yea, of course Joy, you know you don't have to ask." Angel took her hand and pulled her into his room. After he closed the door he turned to look at her, staring steadily into her eyes as though trying to figure out what was wrong.
She turned her head from him to break the eye connection and crossed her arms firmly in front of her chest. She was determined not to show emotions, but her violent trembling sort of gave her away.
"Look, I know how much you hate to seem insecure or weak or anything in front of me, but I need to know what's wrong Joy. Please talk to me, be completely honest." Angel turned her to face him and placed his hands firmly on her shoulders. His soulful eyes once again tried to penetrate into her brain to read her hidden thoughts and feelings.
"I just came from the seers…" Joy started slowly, trying to steady her voice.
"Did you have another vision?" Angel asked calmly.
"Yea, something like that." Joy shook her head. "I don't know what it was really, I was taken somewhere else…" She whimpered from the memory. "I think the Powers like took over my mind or something…" Her eyes watered. "And, umm, I met someone, umm, a Goddess…"
Angel's eyes were wide as he listened to her. He could tell that she wasn't completely stable on her feet, so he gently led her over to the bed and motioned for her to sit. He stood, leaning against the wall, still watching her as she continued to tell him what happened.
"She was beautiful. The most beautiful woman I've ever seen! She could have been an angel!" She smiled dreamily.
"Who was she?" Angel asked tenderly.
"Umm, she was my mother." Joy stated simply.
"Your mother? Wait, what?" Angel frowned.
"Yea, I don't know, it's sort of weird, but I knew she was even before she told me. I could feel the connection between us. My mother is a goddess, and she is amazing! I could feel the power just emitting from her. She had the essence of power and the glory of what she is…" Joy's eyes glowed as she spoke about the meeting with her mother. Angel was shocked.
"But, how could your mom have been a goddess? I mean, usually goddesses aren't killed by simple vampires…"
"No, no, no," Joy shook her head. "My mom, or at least the woman that I thought was my mom, wasn't really my mom." She sighed and noticed Angel's confusion and realized that she would have to explain everything, from the beginning. "My mom, my real mom's name is Iris. Seventeen years ago she lived here on earth, in California actually. She knew about her destiny as a goddess because of her special seer, or Wicca, powers. She also knew that the Powers expected her to retire as a goddess on her eighteenth birthday. But what she didn't realize was that when she was only seventeen, she would meet a man and fall madly in love with him." Joy smiled as she relayed the story of her mother's life to Angel. He listened with respectful silence. "Iris realized that it would be impossible for her to marry the man that she loved because of what had to happen to her in only one year. But, defying her destiny, Iris gave her life to this man and he returned her love fully. When she became pregnant, she wanted to get married but she had less then a year before the Powers would claim her." Joy's eyes started to water. "Iris could not avoid her destiny, she had signed her soul to the Powers years before she had ever met her love, when she was only twelve years old. Knowing that there was no other way, Iris made an argument with him to make him leave her. She lied to him to force him away from her and so she bore her child all alone and only a week later she had found a new family to take the baby so that Iris could go and live out her life as a goddess."
"Joy, are you…"
Joy nodded. "I was the baby girl that she left behind on earth. My mother told me that she named me 'Joy' because I was the only memory of the joy that she had had with her love."
"I don't understand Joy…" Angel shook his head in obvious disbelief. "There hasn't been any record of a direct descendent from the goddesses for centuries!"
"I know." Joy nodded. "That is one of the main reasons that the Powers agreed for me to be the next slayer. When my mother suggested me, the Powers agreed that I have a lot of potential because of the goddess powers that are in me." She sighed. "It's just so incredible for me to finally learn all of this, I'm not really sure how it, I mean what it…" She lost all control of emotions suddenly and started sobbing. "I never knew my parents Angel! I never knew my real parents! My real mom was a goddess, and who knows who my real dad is!" She sniffled in between her words and her body started trembling again. Angel held her tight to himself, trying to calm her down. "My parents knew, I saw that in my other vision. My mom had wanted to tell me the truth before she died…how could I not have known?"
"Joy, calm down. Just take deep, slow breaths…" Angel rubbed her back soothingly. "Just breathe."
"Angel what does it mean? I don't know what to do now…am I a slayer, or a seer, or a goddess…" She started sobbing harder as she recognized all the possibilities she now had to face. "I don't know what this means, Angel. What do the Powers expect of me?"
"Nothing Joy, nothing more then what you already do. You are a slayer, but you just happen to have more powers then Buffy does, that's all." Angel tried to reassure her, even though he wasn't really sure if what he was saying was true at all.
"I was finally learning to be a slayer and now I have to deal with all this too…" Joy shook her head with a slight sob and dropped her forehead onto Angel's shoulder. He held her in his arms and let her cry for a minute before she spoke again. "I don't think I'm strong enough for all of this Angel…I don't think I'm strong enough to handle it…"
"Joy, you are probably the strongest young woman that I have ever known. With the death of your parents, and now this gift of the sight from a Goddess, who's actually your mother…and your slayer powers, which are incredible…I don't know Joy, you seem to have faced things that Buffy never has and could never understand." He held her up so that he was staring straight into her eyes again. "I know you are capable to handle anything that comes into your life."
"Really?" She smiled slightly through tear-blurred eyes. "Do you really believe in me that much Angel?"
"You know I do. I've witnessed changes in your life since you first came to Sunnydale that I never would have thought possible." Angel grinned. "I should have known that you are a goddess." He used the sleeve of his shirt to dry the tears from Joy's eyes. "Is there anything else you want to talk about before you go to bed, Joy? You need your rest…"
Joy whimpered. "Angel, you're always so patient with me. I feel a little guilty asking you for any more favors, but, umm, I'm not sure how much I'd be able to sleep alone tonight." She shivered. "Would you mind if I stay here for tonight, with you?"
Angel shook his head. "Not at all Joy. Anything I can do to make you feel better."
"Thank you Angel."
"Try to sleep now, you've had a long day." He motioned for her to lay on the large bed. She laid back, hugging her arms tightly to herself. "Umm…" He hesitated a little. "Do you want me to lay down with you?"
"Would you mind?" Joy asked hopefully.
"Of course not," Angel instantly laid down beside her and she instinctively curled up close to him, forcing him to wrap his arms around her. He held her for almost an hour in silence. He wasn't sleeping and by her continuous sniffles and random breathing, he knew that she was still awake as well. He soon lost track of time, but he assumed that they had been laying still for almost two hours before either of them spoke again.
"Angel, do you know how much you mean to me?" She whispered softly into the dark shadow of his face only a few inches away from her own.
"I think so Joy," Angel whispered back. "You mean just as much to me, you know?"
"I know." Joy breathed deeply and silence ensued for a few more minutes before Angel spoke again.
"I've never told you how I came to find you Joy…" Angel started slowly. "Last year, when I first came to you…it wasn't by accident or anything." Joy was listening silently. "I was sent to you, to train you and to watch over you."
"By who?" Joy asked softly.
"The Powers. The sought me out and ordered me to find you and train you to be a slayer and to protect you from anything that might want to hurt you." Angel admitted. "You were my assignment and to be completely honest, I sort of regretted it at first." Joy's breathing paused briefly before he continued. "I didn't understand why the Powers would put someone like me in charge of the new slayer. I didn't want to be bothered by the responsibility, but I didn't have a choice."
"Do you still regret me, Angel?" Joy wanted to know.
"No." Angel answered without any thought. "I don't regret anything about this past year. Training you and protecting you has turned out so much different then I ever thought it could. I can't even imagine how different my year would have been without you in it. You are an amazing young woman Joy, and I am grateful if I can take even the slightest credit for what you have become this year."
"I think you can take more then just slight credit Angel. Without you I doubt I ever would have accepted my fate as the slayer. You are the only person that I felt I could trust! You're the reason I let Buffy and her slayeretts into my life. You are the reason I am what I am now!" She was crying again, this time for pure emotional excitement and joy. She felt Angel's grip tighten a little and she felt so perfectly safe that she didn't want to move or speak.
Angel broke the silence again. "But Joy, I need to make sure of something…I'm not really sure how to say it without making things awkward, but I have to be certain…" He cleared his throat and slightly loosened his hold on her. "Besides the emotional, umm, bond that we share in our watcher and slayer relationship, there can't be anything else between us. You know that right?"
"What are you trying to say Angel?" Joy hesitated a little. "You are like the best friend I have ever had."
"I'm sure you've heard about the, umm, relationship that Buffy and I had, but you and I can't, umm, we can't have that sort of relationship Joy…" Angel seemed to be hating everything that he was saying.
Joy gasped softly and quickly cut him off. "Angel, I don't know if you really believe that we had the potential for that, but we don't! Seriously! As far as I'm concerned, you are my brother. You are the person that cares about my safety, my happiness, my sadness…I would never expect one of my boyfriends to bear that sort of responsibility. Well then again I wouldn't want anybody to take responsibility for me, but you have offered yourself so willingly that I can't help but love you for it. The love that I have for you is something that I have never felt for anyone. It's the love that I know I would have for a brother if I ever had one, or for my real father, if I had ever known him."
"Really?" Angel's tone was instantly lighter. "I'm so relieved."
"Is that how you feel for me, Angel? Like a sister?" Joy asked expectantly.
"I feel for you exactly as you have just described. You said everything that I hoped you felt because it's what I feel. I've never had such a desire to look after somebody as I do with you!" Angel's voice seemed to be grinning. "I'm sorry I had to bring it up, I just needed to be sure."
"I'm glad you did, because I wanted to, but I was way too nervous to say anything!" Joy located his hand and grasped it tightly with her own. "I love you Angel!" She giggled.
"I love you too, Joy!" He leaned forward and kissed her forehead softly. "My perfect little sister."
"Angel, can I talk to you about something else, that's been sort of on my mind lately…" She waited for Angel to grunt his approval for whatever conversation she wanted to begin. "So, you've known Spike for a long time, I guess, right?"
"Spike?" Angel almost growled the name. "Why do you care about him?"
"Umm, well, I don't know…" She hesitated. "There's just something about him, and, umm, he sort of intrigues me." She smiled a little to herself. "I know I shouldn't be thinking about him, but I can't really help it." Angel unconsciously removed his arms from around Joy and leaned up on his elbows, glaring down at her in the darkness. Joy didn't like the silence. "Come on Angel, tell me about him!"
"What do you want to know?" Angel asked tersely.
"Has he ever mentioned me?" Joy asked quietly. "I mean, do you think he's at all interested in me?"
Angel let out a deep breath. "Joy, you shouldn't think about Spike like this."
"I can't help it!" Joy sighed. "I swore to myself that I'd never let myself think about him like this, but I seriously can't help it! He's been so good to me. A lot like you, except I don't think of him like a brother…" She bit her lip and stretched out her hand in the dark trying to find Angel's hand. "Don't hate me Angel, please…"
"I'd never hate you Joy." Angel felt her soft hand pressing against his fingers and he took her hand encouragingly. "I realize you can't help who you're, umm, attracted to, but I just wish that it didn't have to be Spike."
"What do you have against him?"
"Umm, isn't it kind of obvious Joy?" Angel laughed a little.
"Not really. I mean sure, he's a vampire, but so are you, and you don't seem to have any problem with me being with you. So why should you care so much about me being with Spike…just because I care about him a little differently…"
"Joy, I have a soul!" Angel reminded her. "Don't you realize the difference between me and Spike?"
"Yes I do," Joy assured him. "You are restrained by something that lives inside of you reminding you every day of the never ending guilt you will feel if you kill, but he is restrained by nothing but a little headache if he were to kill. Trust me, I understand the difference…"
"Joy, it's more then just the guilt that's keeping from killing again."
"I know Angel, I didn't mean to sound insensitive." Joy quickly spoke up. "I understand that you've changed and everything since you've gotten your soul. Don't worry, I'd never think that you would want to kill or anything, I didn't mean that…" She sighed. "I just wish you'd give him a break! Why're you always so hard on Spike? From what Buffy tells me, he's been trying really hard to fit in!"
"Well yea, he's doing a good job, but, umm…" Angel took a deep breath. "Okay Joy, since you obviously aren't going to get over this whole Spike-crush very quickly…"
"It's not a 'crush' Angel! That sounds so juvenile! I'm not even sure what it is, it's just an interest!" Joy defended herself.
"Whatever you say, anyway…" Angel continued, ignoring Joy. "If you're going to let yourself get involved with Spike then I feel it is my duty to make sure that you completely understand what you'll be getting yourself into. When I sired Spike it took him a very short time to become one of the most violent and dangerous vampires around. He has spent over a hundred years brutally murdering people, for fun! Did you know how he got his name? It's because he used to torture people with railroad spikes. He wasn't a good person, well he wasn't even a person really, he's a vampire, obviously. But my point is, he's a monster."
"He was a monster…" Joy interrupted softly.
"Yes, and if the government hadn't chosen to experiment on him he would still be a monster, if Buffy hadn't killed him by now. For the past couple years he has been controlled by the chip in his head, but without it, he'd be just as violent as ever. You're right about our differences, I do have a soul, but that makes me realize how horrible I used to be. It's changed my way of life and I never want to be able to return to my previous vampire state! Spike doesn't have that same desire to remain, well good. I have no doubt that without the chip, he'd waste no time returning to his former brutality."
"Are you trying to scare me off, Angel?" Joy asked.
"No. I don't think you're capable of being scared away by anyone Joy. I just don't want you to blindly enter into anything with him and then be disappointed when you realize the truth. I want to make sure that you understand everything about him before you let him into your life."
"Angel, I get that you're worried, but I know how to protect myself from guys, okay. Besides, if I ever need you I know that you'll be happy to dust him for me!" Joy giggled a little.
"You better believe I will!" Angel agreed fervently. He sighed and his voice took on a more serious note again. "Just promise me that you'll be careful. Don't fall too hard, too fast. Okay?"
"I promise Angel." Joy smiled and nestled her head against his chest. "Wait, since you're being so serious about all this, does that mean that Spike's mentioned me before?"
"Goodnight Joy." Angel said quickly with a slight smile in his tone.
"I knew it!" Joy smiled. "Goodnight Angel."