HAPPY NEW YEARS! How is your new year going? Mine is going great!

Firstly, I want to apologise to all those who reviewed my last chapter that didn't get a reply :/ I was on holiday so I was too busy too, but I want to say a massive THANK YOU now for them! They seriously made me day, no week! For my sorry gift to you, review this chapter and at the bottom of the review say if you would like a sneak peek of the next chapter!

So this story have now gotten 119 followers, 63 favourites and 123 reviews at only 14 chapters! Wahoo, you guys have no idea how happy I am to know people are actually liking my writing so thank you all!

So this chapter is a fill-in for the next chapter, but it's still a interesting chapter ;)

This chapter has a song that sadly I do not own. It's from Ron Pope-A drop in the ocean.

Anyway, enjoy!

Clary's pov

"Well I actually think I'm good at telling when two people have the hot's for each other, don't you think?" Izzy said, her voice full of humour.

Both Jace and I jumped up from one another, and sat up and glared at Izzy who just stood at the door chuckling. "You two have it bad," she assumed, laughing.

"Oh shut it Izzy," Jace growled. I just sat there, blushing at the thought that Izzy just caught us about to kiss.

"This is adorable, really," Izzy said, cheerfully. "Was that you guys first kiss?"

"It was going to be before you had to butt in and ruin it," Jace growled at her.

Holding her arms up in defence, she replied, "shouldn't have left the door wide open then," she smirked before walking to the door. "I'll just leave you two to carry on." With that she left, leaving behind an awkward feeling.

Once she left, I felt the need to say something but before I could Jace stood up from the bed and made his way across the room to the door. "Where are you going?" I asked, confused.

"Going to bed, it's late," he said lamely, stopping in his tracks but not attempting to look at me once.

"Don't you want to talk? You know about what nearly happened," I asked, more confused than ever why he was giving me the cold shoulder.

"There's nothing to talk about," he said simply.

Frowning, I stood from the bed. "Nothing to talk about? Jace, we were about to kiss before Izzy decided to pay us a visit," I argued, feeling anger swell inside of me. "If we did end up kissing, would you have still ended up being like this? All cold and ignorant?"

That's when he decided to turn around. "It was only a kiss, nothing special Clary!" he growled.

I stepped back, almost taken back with his voice and his words. "Right," I said almost in a whispered feeling shocked as I looked over to the bed and refused to look at him any longer. "I get it. I really do, it was just a meaningless kiss. I must have gotten confused."

"Clary…" he started, his voice lost part of the coldness. He knew he had done it this time.

"Just go please," I whispered cutting in. When he didn't move I let my angry take over. "Go!"

Nodding softly, he left swiftly from the room and shut the door behind him so I was left to dwell on what had just occurred in the empty darkness. Sitting on the edge of my bed, I felt limp…Shock and embarrassment flooded through me. I placed my face in my palms, and shook my head. I can't believe what happened…what nearly happened. I nearly kissed Jace…and there was no voice in the back of my mind telling me that it was a bad idea. My mind wanted it…my body needed it. What was I kidding, Jace probably didn't want to kiss me. Urgh, he probably thinks I'm using him, using him to wash the damage that had been forced onto my body, but it's not like that. It's not. I didn't realise until just before when his lips almost came upon mine that I wanted the feel of his lips against mine, I wanted him. I have sparkles in my stomach, a non-stop racing heart and redness that rise against my cheeks whenever I spot Jace, or when he stands close enough that our hands slightly touched.

How can I be this stupid? How didn't I realise until now that I was unthinkingly falling for someone that I now realised won't ever return my feelings. I was screwed.

Jace's pov

Fisting my hands in my hair, I paced back and forth as the anger and frustration of what just occurred raced through me. I just about kissed Clary. What the hell was I thinking? It was only a few hours ago when I had agreed with myself that I wouldn't let my feelings take control. I wouldn't let them ruin mine and Clary's friendship, yet I had almost let my feelings take control-scratch that, I had let my feelings take control. Now Clary's angry with me, I can tell by the way she sent me out. I don't blame her, I really don't. I guess this is just another thing I'll have to deal with.

Falling back onto my bed, I closed my eyes hoping that sleep would come and wash me from my thoughts for a few hours, to let me forget…but sleep didn't arrive as I constantly rewind the events of the night-Meeting Rachael again and his threat, seeing Clary looking frail in the shower then realising she had been naked, then the near kiss. I can still feel her lips against my cheeks and how her soft lips gently touched the corner of mine for the slightly of all seconds…Why couldn't I just let go? Claim what I wanted? Shaking my head, I knew she deserved better which meant putting up with these feelings and hiding them so they won't harm her.

Ripping my eyes, I turned to the window that shone light through it; I must have started awake till sunrise deep in thought. Sitting up on my bed, I let my bare feet drop onto the cold floor as I stretched. Standing up, I slowly made my way out of my room into the kitchen to find the red head beauty sitting quietly at the island, sipping away at her drink.

"Morning," I mumbled, remembering instantly how I needed to patch up any areas where my feelings had leaked out the previous night so I could hid it from Clary. Walking over to the refrigerator, I opened it up and looked inside at its contents.

"Bright and shiny this morning, aren't you?" she remarked sarcastically, clearly still angry about my stubbornness last night.

After grabbing an apple out, I turned around to face her. "As any other morning," I smiled lamely, matching her sarcastic tone.

Rolling her piercing green eyes, she looked closely at me. "What's your problem?"

"Absolutely nothing," I stated lamely as I placed myself across for her. "I feel cherry."

"You're an asshat, you know that?" she said, crossly.

"I'm pretty sure I've been called that before multiply of times, most likely from you," I stated sarcastically, taking a bite of my apple.

Tilting her head to the side, her eyes narrowed. "I wonder why," she said sarcastically.

I smirked at her before taking another bite. I watched her with my eyes as she slipped carefully from her seat and trotted over to me before standing right in front of me, close enough for me to smell the scent of her strawberry shampoo. "So do you plan on being like this all day?" she asked me.

I tilted my head. "Like I said, I feel cherry. Why would I want to feel any different?"

Rolling her eyes, she stepped slightly back from me before leaning against the counter. "Good thing I rang my parents to tell them to come pick me up early isn't it?"

I raised an eyebrow. "Is this about last night?"

I watched as her eyebrows knotted together. "It's about how ignorant you!" she commented, her voice showing anger.

"Being ignorant is sometimes a good thing," I commented casually.

"Not in this case asshat," she said dangerously calm.

I leant in close to her, testing my luck. "Then what am I being ignorant about?"

Narrowing her eyes, she leant closer so her lips were close to my ear. "You're a big boy, you work it out," she whispered before stepping away from me and taking my apple from my hand. Sliding into the seat next to me, she gave me a small smirk before biting into my apple.

I sat there shocked, until Izzy walked in. "Good morning love birds," she crooned as she walked to the refrigerator.

I growled. "I swear, Izzy. If you don't stop making these sorts of comments I'll personally cut up all your shoes," I threatened.

Turning around, she poked her tongue at me. "Well then you'll be taking me shoe shopping, won't you?"

I shook my head. "Not in a million life times," I said firmly.

In the corner of my eye, I saw Clary shake her head. "Don't mind him, he's in a grump today," Clary said to Izzy.

Izzy chuckled. "When isn't he?"

I shook my head and stood up. "Right, I'm going to have a shower," I said lamely, my stupid attempt to get away from this situation, before walking out of the room, feeling their stares upon me.

Clary's pov

I watched as Jace walked from the room and shook my head. "So did you guys end up kissing last night?" Izzy asked me, as she sat down opposite me.

I felt blush rush to my cheeks at the thought of her catching us. "No," I said simply.

"Why? You both clearly want to," she remarked.

I shook my head. "No, he doesn't. He even said last night, it was only a kiss," I retold the event that happened after her disruption, not missing out anything.

"So let me get this straight…you wanted to kiss him, but he didn't?" she asked slowly.

I nodded, waiting for her response. "Darl, he wants to, I can swear on that," she said assuredly.

"What makes you so sure on that?"

She just shrugged. "I just am," she commented.

I looked down at my phone, shocked. Izzy and I had been talking for nearly a half an hour making it just past nine o'clock. Where was Jace? "Do you think I could maybe go speak with him? My mom will be here soon," I asked.

"Sure," she smiled. "Go get him tiger."

"Okay, I won't mention how weird that just sounded," I commented, laughing slightly before walking out of the room and upstairs to where Jace's room was. Opening the door, I met his firm figure as it lay on the bed looking up at the ceiling.

"Jace, we need to talk," I said softly, walking into the room and shutting the door softly.

Looking sideways at me, he asked quietly. "Talk about what?"

Walking over to him, I lied down beside him but far enough that we weren't touching. "About last night… about this morning. Are we okay?"

"Why won't we?" he asked, looking back at the ceiling.

I shrugged. "You seem not yourself," I commented.

"I'm fine," he said lamely.

"Really? Because you don't seem fine to me," I remarked.

I watched as his jaw tightened. "All I need is to be by myself. People need time to themselves once in a while you do realise," he said harshly.

I bite my lip and nodded. Sitting back up, I looked at him as he stared blankly up at the ceiling. Outside a toot sounded-my parents. What great timing. "I better get going," I whispered, standing up and walking towards the door. "Bye," I said softly.

"Bye," he said lamely as I walked out the door, shutting it firmly behind me.

Raphael's Pov

I knew ever since I met Red she'd be fun, but I never thought she'd be the key to bring another's torture. That why I was here, behind this shrub right now hidden by the unwanted eye so my prey wouldn't catch the scent of their danger, their attacker and tormentor. A wave of happiness coursed through me as I saw my little red head race out of Blondies house, clearly upset.

My plan seemed even more vivid than it first had been…the joy of my plan started kicking in.

Call me sick all you like, but there's one key thing about me; screams are what I desire, and blood is what I drive for.

Clary pov

I was frustrated. Yes, that's the word for what I was feeling right now. Jace, he frustrates me. Last night I could feel that he wanted the kiss just as badly as I did, and yeah I had thought for a moment that he mightn't have wanted it…but urgh, I guess I'm just a stupid girl head over heels wishing for something that could never happen.

Sliding into the back of the car, I let the Good mornings and how are you roll over me; answering them before sinking back into a mindless stare as my thoughts continued to wash through me.

I surely had feelings for Jace, there was no dealt in that; it was just his feelings that I'm not too sure about. This morning caused not just frustration but anger to settle deep inside of me. Even if he didn't want anything like that, he could at least let me know, and I don't know, we could get back to normal?...Urgh what am I thinking, he doesn't know the feelings and the thoughts that are running through my head so how would he know to let me down gently? I shook my head; this constant mind debate will seriously make me go crazy if it carries on any longer so I did the only think I could to get my mind off the tricky topic. "How was Grandma?" I asked, looking up at mom in the front seat.

Glancing back at me, she gave me a soft smile. "She's fine. Just a little scare," she replied, as she tapped her finger on her leg to the rhythm of the music that played on the radio. "Did everything go alright at Jace's? You seemed a little distracted when you first hopped into the car."

I shook my head bringing out the best fake smile I could possess. "I'm fine, I guess I'm still tired," I commented which wasn't completely a lie seeming I hadn't got that much sleep after my nightmare had come back into the picture again.

Nodding, she gave me a soft smile before looking back at the front as we headed home. I let out a silent sigh. Why did I have a feeling that I had just ruined the friendship that Jace and I had?

Three days later

Jace's pov

I slammed by fist down on the piano as the multiple texts from Clary stayed unread on my phone. I was tempted to look at them, but I couldn't…not when I still haven't figured out what I was going to do with the feelings that have erupted through me since Clary walked into my life. These past few days have been my cooling down period, my only chance to get over this feeling that could ruin everything. So that's why the lie I forced out of my mouth to Clary was spoken. Telling her I had fallen sick was the only opinion, the only one that stopped us from coming into contact again when I was trying to fix my problem.

Running my fingers over the keys, I pressed down on a couple of notes letting each note twirl through the air bringing me to ease as they had done when I was younger and my mother had played for me. It calmed me, and as it calmed me I got lost in the notes that flowed freely at each press of a key. My voice broke through as I became aware of the song I had started playing. It was one of my mother's favourites; one that she'd sing to me when we sat alone together at the piano when dad went to work. Even though the song was about wanting something that is just out of your reach but you cannot claim it, she always said that the first time she listened to it she could feel the pain and need in the singers voice, and because of that she from the song simply beautiful. That is why it was one of her favourites. When she was taken from me I was left with her love of music which fast turned into mine as music bought me closer to her.

I don't wanna waste the weekend

If you don't love me pretend

A few more hours then it's time to go

As my train rolls down the east coast I wonder how you keep warm

It's too late to cry

Too broken to move on

And still I can't let you be

Most nights I hardly sleep

Don't take what you don't need from me

I closed my eyes as I recalled the many times my own mom would sing it to me. Smiling softly, I raised my voice slightly to hit the notes that flowed in the chorus.

It's just a drop in the ocean

A change in the weather

I was praying that you and me might end up together

It's like wishing for rain as I stand in the desert

But I'm holding you closer than most 'cause you are my heaven…

Before I could carry on, I heard a shuffle from behind me causing me to jolt to a stop and turn sharply around.

"Sorry." Hands up in the air in defence, Izzy stood there at the doorway in her nightgown. "You don't have to stop playing on my account," she said apologetically.

I shrugged, before placing the lid of the piano back down and staring over to her again. "It's fine," I commented rubbing my eyes. "I should probably get to bed anyway. What time is it anyway?"

Izzy calmingly walked over to me and jumped softly onto the piano. "About half past twelve," she replied, looking down at me with curious eyes. "You do realise you should enter contests with that voice of yours."

I shook my head and chuckled. "And how many times have I told you that that doesn't interest me?" I replied sarcastically.

"You know you could win the hearts of heaps of girls if you did, right?" She commented, swinging her legs back and forth as she sat on the piano, the dim light causing her black hair to look even darker.

"As if I'd need that to help me get heaps of girls," I commented causally, pulling an arm back and stretching it.

I watched as a smirk formed and her eyes sparkled with mischief. "Oh you're right, but I know for a fact that you want one heart more than any other," she smirked.

I rolled my eyes at her. "Please enlighten me with whose heart I want more," I said sarcastically, resting my elbow on the piano top.

"Clary's of course," Izzy entangled her fingers together. "I don't see why you don't just go there. She obviously likes you back."

"And what makes you think she likes me…actually what makes you think I like her like that?" I questioned her trying to get her off her game because I had no desire to have this conversation with her or anyone for that fact.

"The way you look at her, it's like she's the only one in the room. Your eyes gleam whenever they lay upon her and they hold something in them that I've never seen your eyes hold before…like love," she commented, searching hard for the right words to say.

"Oh come on Izzy, you speak as if I'm not capable of loving. I love all you guys here, doesn't my eyes show it?" I commented, sarcasm still sounding in my voice.

She shook her head. "Not the same love that you spill towards Clary, you jackass," she huffed, before her eyes softened again. "And then there's when you have your arms around her or even when you're holding her hand, your stiff frame softens and seems at ease, as if having her near you is all that you call for, all you need."

My jaw tightened as a reflex to her words. "You really don't know what you're talking about," I said firmly, trying to hide the anger that was leaking into my voice. Was I that obvious? Could everyone see how badly I wanted Clary to be nothing more than my own?

"Don't I?" She turned her head to the side, her eyes questioning mine. "Did I not the other night walk in on you two about to kiss?"

"So what?" I growled, matching her gaze. "I've kiss heaps of girls before, have I not?"

"But Clary isn't just any girl, is she?"

"Leave me alone Izzy," I remarked, looking down at the piano to avoid her gaze.

"I don't understand," she commented, sliding down beside me on the piano stall. "Why don't you just go for it? She likes you, isn't that enough?"

"Because I don't deserve her, Izzy," I snarled. Talking about this was a lot worse than keeping it hidden, I guess I felt too expose sharing how I felt.

"And why don't you deserve her Jace?" Izzy's voice got rougher.

"Because she deserves someone that is perfect in every way like her, not someone that can mess her around," I said honestly, trying to ease the annoyance that ran from me.

"Don't you think it's her choice to decide what she deserves? Jace, you can't just go around deciding what people deserve, especially if it involves you. If Clary wants you like you want her which I'm one hundred percent sure of, it's her decision and you can't take that away from her," Izzy stated calmly.

I was shocked at the words that spilled from Izzy's mouth, causing me to nod for the response. "I don't know…This all is too…" before I could reply my phone on top of the piano went off as an incoming call sounded. Looking over to the lighted screen, it read Clary. She probably had another nightmare. I sat back and looked at Izzy. "I can't talk to her yet," I admitted, ashamed of myself.

"Pussy," she commented, with a small laugh as she reached over and answered my phone for me. "Heello, Jace's phone," I heard her say. A second went by before I watched as Izzy smile turned and a horrid expression came across her face. Something was wrong.

"Pass me the phone," I demanded, reaching for the phone, but she just slapped away my hand.

"He'll be there soon," she replied unevenly into the phone before turning it off and looking at me. "That was Clary's mother, something happened. Clary needs you."

I didn't even respond before I jumped to my feet, my heart crashing against my chest. Clary needs you. Before I slid from the room, Izzy quickly spoke up. "Remember what we spoke about it's her decision. Now go help your girl."

Glancing back at Izzy, I nodded mindlessly before racing out of the room.

Cliff hanger! What do you think happened?

What do you think of Raphael? He's a nutta right? I was thinking about making this story rated M for that reason... Help guys! Do you want a more crazy Raphael or a simple Raphael?

Review and tell me what you think! Nice reviews will get a sneak peek into next chapter! Or if I didn't reply to your review last time like I said up above ^, just ask and you'll get one!

Until next time,

ex oh ex