Wow, Okay, I know it's been like a century since I've updated this story but I sort of hit a roadblock! I'm over it now though, and I actually have many many ideas for the next couple of chapters so I hope I get a lot of reviews to encourage me to keep on writing! I'm still excited for this story, even though I've been neglecting it! Please review with suggestions, comments, etc. XOXOXO
Chapter Thirty-Nine: Desperate for Secrecy
"I can't believe how long it took for this to happen!" Spike drawled contentedly, resting his cheek against the top of Joy's head.
"Well it probably would have happened earlier if you hadn't lied to me for so long." Joy stated. She wasn't angry though. She was just telling him the facts and making sure that he knew she had forgiven him. "But I have always heard that the wait makes the end more rewarding…"
"Oh yea? How rewarding?" Spike tightened his arms around Joy's slender waist and pressed his hips close to hers.
Joy shook her head and moved away from him, very slightly and very briefly before letting him pull her close again. "Not that rewarding Spike." She dropped her head on his shoulder and wrapped her arms tighter around his neck. "You know the rules."
"I know." Spike agreed, kissing her forehead. "And I am absolutely fine with waiting."
"Which I appreciate…" Joy smiled.
"However long you need I will be waiting. In fact I'm not even waiting. I'm just happy with what we have now. I don't need anything more!"
"Really? You're not just saying that are you?" Joy knew that it was pointless to ask. They had already been through this conversation, a few times, and Spike had made it very clear from the beginning that he was perfectly content with a non-sexual relationship until Joy was ready, if she ever was. He had assured her that he was just happy being with her that he didn't need any more from her. Of course she had her doubts that he was being completely honest, but she wasn't going to argue with him. She wouldn't make him wait forever, just until she was comfortable having that sort of relationship again. Her last few experiences didn't have the best endings, and now that she finally had a boyfriend that made her happy again, she didn't want to lose him!
"You know Joy, we're going to have to tell them eventually." Spike spoke up suddenly, disrupting her thoughts.
"Now why'd you have to do that?" Joy sighed.
"Do what?"
"Spoil the moment like that!" Joy explained with a frustrated eye roll. "I was perfectly happy not facing reality thank you!"
"Sorry…but seriously Joy, Buffy's not an idiot. An irritating bint, definitely, but not an idiot." He grinned. "She will figure it out eventually, you know?"
"I know, but we can pretend that it won't be soon, right?" Joy asked hopefully.
"Yea Gidget, we can pretend." Spike agreed with a playful kiss.
"Okay, we should probably start actually patrolling now. We've been out here for almost an hour and we haven't killed anything yet." Joy shrugged. "I'm sort of having withdrawals."
"From killing? Should I be worried?" Spike frowned.
"No, just a good fight." Joy smiled. "You know how I like my fights."
"Well, I could criticize how little you are and we could have a fight…" He winked mischievously and started nuzzling her ear. "And then after we could make up…that's always the best part you know!" He started leaving kiss trails down her neck to her bare shoulder.
"Hey now…" Joy giggled. "I'm trying to work here! You're distracting me."
"I can't help it! You're just so adorable!" Spike grinned. "I could just eat you up…" He straightened up suddenly realizing what he had said. "I mean…umm…you're very cute Gidget…"
"It's okay Spike, I know what you meant." Joy sighed. "Don't worry about it. I'm working hard to trust you remember? So I'm not going to jump on every little thing you say. It's the only way that we're going to be able to make this relationship work. We have to ignore certain little things about each other…like I'll have to ignore that you're a vampire and you'll have to ignore that umm, I'm a slayer for example…" She shrugged. "We'll make it work. I am very confident."
"Well, I'm glad you feel that way love. If you're sure, then I'm sure." He motioned towards the trees where a group of vampires were creeping towards them. "Here comes your fight!"
"Oh good!"
"Okay tonight's fight wasn't half as exciting as the one I was hoping for!" Joy whined as she half-dragged Spike towards the Bronze. "I need more excitement for tonight before I'll be ready to go home and face Buffy!"
"Right, this whole fight thing is getting tiring Gidget! Every weekend when we finally get to spend time together, alone, you're so anxious for a decent fight that I can't enjoy our date!" Spike complained.
"I'm sorry sweetheart, but I can't have a good fight when I patrol with Buffy! She's too attached to her 'quick-kills' and all I can do is stake the thing and turn to another." She shrugged. "I'll try to be better from now on though! I promise! Now, do you want to come and dance with me or am I going to have to find someone else to entertain me tonight?"
"Don't you dare let someone else dance with you!" Spike insisted. He took charge and led her by the hand into the club, immediately bringing her to the dance floor.
"Well I suppose this makes up for the lack of a decent fight." Joy grinned and situated her hands around Spike's neck.
"Yea well, I do my best to keep you happy precious!" Spike's hands snaked down her back and slipped into the back pockets of her low-riding jeans. "So, when are we going to tell the others?"
"Come on Spike, not again!" Joy rolled her eyes and stood on tiptoes to kiss Spike. Without him leaning forward to kiss her back she could only reach his chin. "Spike! I'll tell her soon, I swear! You just have to let me do it on my own time and in my own way, okay?"
Spike sighed and stopped dancing momentarily. "But I get the feeling that you don't want anyone to know…"
"Well, sure, in a way I'd rather that nobody knew for a while, but not because I'm embarrassed or anything, but just because well…they're not going to take it so well!" Joy tightened her hold around his neck. "Come on baby, don't be mad at me!"
"I'm not mad Joy…" Spike forced a smile but pulled away from her slightly and lit up a cigarette.
"I thought we were going to dance." She stuck out her lip in a pout.
"Stop trying to flirt with me Joy. I'm not in the mood."
"Fine." Joy's pathetic pout turned into a glare and she plucked the cigarette out of his fingers and placed it between her own lips. "I don't need you." She decided, moving away from him and swaying her hips to the music's upbeat tempo without the companionship of her date.
Spike watched her lustfully as she let her eyelids drop and her arms drift languidly above her head, crossing at the wrists and flicking to the beat. Her hips started to sway enticingly and Spike found it becoming difficult to refrain from reaching out to her for much longer. She opened her eyes briefly and glanced at him to make sure that he was watching her before she turned around, showing him her back, and continued to twist and dance seductively along with the music.
"It should be a crime for someone as hot as you to be dancing alone!" A young man stepped up in front of Joy and reached for her hands with a very forward and flirtatious manner. "Care if I join you?" He didn't seem to care very much about what she thought, and Joy didn't even have time to answer before the impertinent man was pressing his body close to her own and tangling his fingers with hers.
"Umm…well…actually…" Joy was snapped out of her hypnotic dance mood abruptly and the young man's presence had startled her. "I'm actually…" Her eyes darted around, searching for Spike but he had disappeared from his guard behind her.
"You are alone, aren't you?" The guy followed Joy's eyes and she had to nod.
"I guess I am now…" But before the guy had a chance to settle into too close of a dancing position with Joy they were interrupted by Spike who had approached mysteriously from behind Joy and was now towering over the intruder with a fierce glare darkening his usually bright eyes.
"Actually, she's not alone…" He growled viciously.
Joy tried to hide the pleased grin spreading across her lips as the young guy cowered away from Spike's overwhelming presence. She shrugged casually at the guy as he fled from the couple and then turned to Spike.
"I thought you weren't in the mood for me tonight!" Joy teased. She took a drag on the cigarette and bit her lip flirtatiously.
"Oh come off it Gidget!" Spike sighed and took the cigarette back. "You know I'm always in the mood for you!" He returned his hands protectively around her waist and she placed one hand on his arm while using the other to share the cigarette with him.
"Good, because he wasn't very cute at all!" Joy laughed and shook out her hair as Spike easily matched his hips movements with hers. They always danced well together. They're passion seemed to guide their movements.
"I don't know why we're bothering to stop here! We should continue patrolling and get it over with!" Buffy complained as she followed Angel over to the bar at the Bronze.
"Oh yea, I forgot that you've got soldier boy keeping the bed warm for you…" Angel sneered.
"Stop it Angel. When I agreed to let you patrol with me you promised that there would be no discussions about my personal life." Buffy reminded him angrily. "I have accepted that you are in Joy's life, but that doesn't mean that you have to be in mine."
Angel grunted in response. "You make the rules princess."
"Do you see her anywhere?" Buffy asked, scanning the crowded room for the younger slayer.
"No. I thought she might be blowing off some steam here, but I guess not. We can go now if you want."
"She drives me crazy!" Buffy exclaimed. "She's never where she says she's going to be! And she's always disappearing when we're supposed to meet for patrol!"
"I thought you gave her Wednesday and Friday nights off though?" Angel pointed out.
"Well yea, but usually she comes home after school on Wednesdays and then I can at least make sure that she's alright. She didn't check into today!"
"She's not your sister, Buffy. She's allowed to be responsible for her own actions and make her own choices…"
"I don't need a lecture from you Angel!" Buffy glared. "I know that she's a grown-up and allowed to live her own life. I've just been a little worried about her lately. She's been so mysterious lately and I'm not so sure what she's up to…"
"Well, have you ever thought that it might not be any of your business?" Angel winked and Buffy sighed, shaking her head.
"Oh god, can't he at least try to keep his whores to a minimum?" Buffy exclaimed.
"Excuse me?" Angel didn't follow her irritated statement.
"Spike! He's over there with one of his hoes flaunting her like a knock-off Gucci bag!"
"Okay…" Angel frowned but noticed where she was staring at Spike dancing very closely with a short blonde. They were sharing a cigarette.
"That's disgusting!" Buffy scrunched up her nose at the display, but her scowl quickly turned into shock. "Joy!" The girl had turned around and now it was obvious to Angel and Buffy who Spike was dancing with. His hands were exploring her body, moving smoothly up and down her flat stomach and sliding along her exposed neck and up her bare arms. Her arms wrapped backwards around his neck, and her eyes closed as she leaned her head against his chest.
"I knew something was going on with them!" Angel exclaimed. He rushed towards the oblivious couple and interrupted their bliss harshly. "What do you think you're doing?" He pulled Spike away from her.
"Angel!" Joy gasped as they were joined by Buffy who was every bit as enraged as Angel.
"Are you insane Joy?" Buffy accused furiously.
"Buffy, stop! This is none of your business. What right do you think you have to tell me who I can and can't date?"
"Date?" Buffy exclaimed. "You're dating him!"
Joy clamped her mouth shut a moment too late. She had already let it slip and there was no way to take it back. She glanced at Spike desperately but he didn't seem too concerned about her divulging the secret at last. He looked at Buff and shrugged.
"If you want to fight about this Slayer, fight with me. Not with her." Spike insisted.
Buffy glared at him. "Stay out of this Spike."
"Why? It concerns me just as much as it does her. If you've got a problem with one of us then you've got a problem with both of us!" Spike argued.
"What, are you joined at the hip?" Buffy scowled. "Joy we're going home now." She grabbed the younger slayer's wrist and forced her towards the door to leave the club.
"Buffy! I'm not ready to leave yet!" Joy complained, struggling against Buffy's grip and turning to say goodbye to Spike with her eyes. The vampire had remained behind with Angel who was determined to help Buffy in keeping the couple away from each other at the moment. You can't control me like this!"
Buffy rolled her eyes. "Actually Joy, I do have a bit of control over you, considering you are a minor in my custody, so to speak, and you're a slayer in training, my training, and I do not approve of Spike for you…"
"You're all talk Buff." Joy accused, reluctantly following Buffy out to the car and climbing in the passenger seat to allow Buffy to drive her home. "You didn't have a problem with Spike when you were screwing him!"
"So what? Is that all this is? You're just screwing him and then it'll be over? Well that makes me feel a whole lot better!"
"No!" Joy exclaimed. "That's not what this is!" She shook her head and thought carefully about her next choice of words. "We haven't slept together Buffy."
Buffy was silent momentarily. "Oh…well I just assumed…"
"Of course you did." Joy sighed. "You just automatically assumed that Spike could only be interested in me for sex!"
Buffy drove silently. "It's not that I think of you like that…but Joy…I warned you about him! I just don't want you to get hurt okay? He'll only be a distraction to your training!"
"And that's obviously all that you care about! My damn training! As long as I'm not screwing up your needs for me as a slayer then you don't give a hell about any other part of my life!"
"That's not true…" Buffy hesitated as she pulled the car into the driveway and parked.
"Whatever Buff. Don't sweat it. I'm used to people not caring about my personal life." Joy jumped out of the car and rushed towards the front door, leaving Buffy alone in the car, frustrated and confused. She pushed open the front door and let it slam angrily. Joy headed directly towards the stairs.
"Joy! Thank god!" Dawn exclaimed from where she was reclining on the couch in the living room with textbooks scattered around her on the floor. "I've been waiting for you to get home so you can distract me!"
Joy glanced at her briefly and then continued up the steps. "It's been a long night Dawn…"
"Wait a minute!" Dawn leapt off the couch and raced up the stairs after her friend. "What's wrong?"
"Well…Buffy sort of knows about me and Spike now!" Joy sighed and flopped onto her bed.
Dawn shut the bedroom door and gasped. "You finally told her! Good!"
"Actually, I didn't really tell her…" Joy bit her lip. "Buffy and Angel sort of ran across me and Spike dancing at the bronze…"
"Uh-oh…" Dawn couldn't help grinning as she imagined the confrontation in her mind. "I bet that didn't go over very well!"
"Yea, not exactly."
"I'm sorry Joy, but really you shouldn't have kept it a secret from Buffy for so long!"
"Okay, I seem to remember you being on my side when Spike and I decided not to tell anyone for a while! You said it was for the best! What was all that shit about?" Joy frowned.
"Well…now that Buffy knows, and since she found out about it like she did, it might seem like you were sort of hiding it from her or something…"
"We were hiding it from her!"
"Yea, but you probably didn't want her to know that." Dawn pointed out. "It'll just make you look guilty."
"Whatever." Joy shook her head. "There's nothing I can do about it now! She knows, the games up."
"Well, maybe it's good that she knows. Now you and Spike don't have to sneak around anymore. You can just be honest with Buffy!" Dawn pointed out.
"I guess that's true…but this is just not how I expected it to be! I was so excited to finally be happy in a relationship, and I wanted to be able to share it with the people that are the most important in my life…" Joy stopped herself.
"Who would that be?" Dawn asked with a grin.
"Well…you, obviously, and Angel, and well I guess Buffy…"
"Joy, you know you have my blessing! I was on your side from the beginning. And I'm sure Angel supports you both, or at least I'm sure he will eventually. He cares a lot about you and even if he doesn't necessarily approve of your relationship he will support whatever decision you make because that's what friends do." Dawn smiled.
"Don't you have some studying to do or something?" Joy rolled her eyes.
"Are you trying to get rid of me?" Dawn sighed. "Fine. Sit up here and pout, but if you need to talk about anything I'll be downstairs, slaving over Biology. I'm failing, in case you didn't know. See not everyone can be as smart as you and get as good of grades as you do…"
"Shut up! I don't always get good grades, I just do my homework and occasionally show up to class!"
"Well, I guess the teachers really like you then or something, because you don't have a 'D' in any of your classes!"
"True." Joy shrugged. "I guess I am just smarter then you!"
"You're mean. Maybe I shouldn't be on your side in the whole Spike situation!"
"It's not a 'Spike situation' Dawn!" Joy whined. "He's my boyfriend! It's a relationship!" She rolled of the bed and changed out of her club clothes. "Buffy's opinion doesn't matter. Spike and I will manage even with her prejudice."
"Well, good luck!" Dawn left the room, leaving Joy alone to brew in her depression.
I can't believe Buffy's being so unreasonable! I mean sure she warned me about getting involved with him, but ultimately she had to realize that it was my decision. I want to be with him and there's nothing she can do about it! Joy slid beneath her sheets and squeezed her eyes shut tightly as though trying to change the events of the evening.
A tapping on the windowpane forced her to open her eyes and sit up in bed. Spike was crouched on the slanted roof outside of her bedroom window, bracing his body against the tree and rapping softly on the window. She slipped out of bed and hurried over to the window.
"Spike, what are you doing here?" She asked eagerly as she opened the window and stepped back, allowing him to enter her room.
"Well, I was a little worried after you left with Buffy…" He didn't greet her with the usual hug and kiss, and actually looked a little awkward.
"Why?"
"It's obvious that she wasn't exactly thrilled to find out about us, and well, I know she doesn't have the best opinion of me and I was afraid of what she'd say to you…I thought that she might…"
"What? Talk me out of my feelings for you?" Joy tried not to smile at her boyfriend's genuine concern. "Spike, I don't care what happened took place between you and Buffy, and nothing she says will change my mind about us."
"Really?" Spike's expression instantly relaxed. "Are you sure?"
"Of course I'm sure! Since when have I let someone else make up my mind for me?" Joy laughed. "I didn't realize you would be so worried about all this!" She paused. "You don't think that's why I didn't tell her earlier, do you? Because I didn't want her to make me change my mind?"
Spike's silence was enough of an answer.
"Oh my god! No, Spike! That wasn't it at all! I just knew that she'd be angry, and do everything she could to tear us down, and for the first time in a while I was truly happy! I didn't want anything dragging my excitement down!" She shook her head. "But I never thought about her causing us to break up!"
"Okay…" Spike didn't seem completely convinced.
"Honestly! Nobody could make me break up with you, except for you!" She rambled on quickly. "And I hope you don't ever give me a reason to break up with you…I mean not ever because that's a really long time…but I mean…"
"I know what you mean…" Spike grinned and pulled her into his arms for a reassuring hug. "I hope I don't ever give you a reason to break up with me either!"
"Well, I'm glad we're on the same page then!" Joy giggled as he kissed her deeply. "Okay…stop! I can't do this right now! If Buffy found you here…"
"I thought you didn't care what Buffy thought!"
"I don't, but she's already mad enough with me! I don't need her to hate me any more right now! I have to live with her remember?" Joy broke out of his embrace. "You should go…"
"Fine…but can I see you tomorrow?" He started back out of the window.
"Of course! I'll meet you at the cemetery at ten!" Joy glanced nervously towards the bedroom door. "Wait! How did Angel take it?"
Spike shrugged. "Typically. He threatened me a bunch, you know said he'd stake me personally if I hurt you…the usual!"
"Well, I guess that means he doesn't hate me!"
"No way! Peaches couldn't hate you Gidget! You're like his baby sis or something. It's strange how much he cares about protecting you actually…" Spike shook his head and once again perched carefully on the roof. "Do I at least get a kiss goodbye?"
Joy grinned and stuck her head out of the window to kiss him. "Goodbye!"