Rating: strong PG-13

Warnings: Adult language

Note: This piece talks about Mark wanting to date a girl unlike all the girls his mother has set him up with, the Jewish girls that he feels are all the same. Please note that any offense at any stereotypes is not intentional. The opinions expressed by Mark are not those of the author. Thank you!

Song Featured: "Shiksa Goddess" from the musical The Last Five Years

Disclaimer: RENT is the sole property of Jonathan Larson. Also, the song "Shiksa Goddess" does not belong to me either, it belongs to Jason Robert Brown.

"Ma, I'm not going," Mark said.

Roger rolled his eyes at the familiar argument. After a few seconds, he hung up.

"She try and set you up again?"

Mark nodded. "Thinks I should give Nanette another shot."

"Nanette?"

Mark nodded and tied his scarf around his neck. "I'm gonna go do some filming. You wanna come?"

Roger shook his head. "Band rehearsal in an hour."

Mark nodded again and slipped out the door. As he wandered the streets of New York, he marveled at the variety of women. None of them like the women in Scarsdale.

I'm breaking my mother's heart

The longer I stand here looking at you

The more I hear it splinter and crack from 90 miles away

She'd spent the last ten years, ever since Mark's bar mitzvah, trying to set him up with various "good Jewish girls." Mark had begun to realize that they were all the same. Each woman he was set up with was exactly the same: sweet, demure, intelligent, patient…boring.

I'm breaking my mother's heart

The J.C.C. of Spring Valley is shaking and crumbling to the ground

And my grandfather's rolling, rolling in his grave

Mark weaved in and out of the crowded streets. He made eye contact with a couple of women, each time not managing more than a blushing smile and a mumbled hello. New York City women were different. They were intriguing and mysterious and wonderfully strange.

If you had a tattoo, that wouldn't matter

If you had a shaved head, that'd be cool

If you came from Spain or Japan or the back of a van,

Just as long as you're not from Hebrew school

He'd tried to tell his mother not to set him up anymore. She wouldn't quite listen. Instead of setting him up, she'd hint and plead. She just didn't understand that he didn't want to date the same girls over and over. He wanted different. He wanted new. He wanted someone completely unique from anybody he'd met at temple.

Mark strolled through the park, wondering what it would be like when he finally did meet that girl.

I'd say "Now I'm getting somewhere. I'm finally breaking through!"

I'd say "Hey, hey, Shiksa goddess, I've been waiting for someone like you!"

He thought back on the women he'd dated over the years. All of them invariably quiet, shyer than him, which said something, and dreaming of marrying and having kids. Mark wasn't sure he wanted any of that. He certainly didn't want it now.

I've been waiting through Danica Schwartz and Erica Weiss and the Handelman twins
I've been waiting through Heather Greenblatt, Annie Mincus, Karen Pincus and Lisa Katz
And Stacy Rosen, Ellen Kaplan, Julie Silver and Janie Stein
I've had Shabbat dinners on Friday nights
With every Shapiro in Washington Heights

Mark had been sitting in the café alone for nearly half an hour when she approached him. He felt a hand on his shoulder, not a tap but a hand resting on his shoulder, and turned.

"Hi," the woman said with a smile.

Mark blushed and managed to return the smile. "H-hi."

"I'm Maureen."

She moved her hand from his shoulder and extended it. Mark stared for a second before realizing he hadn't answered her. "Oh! Sorry, um…Mark, I'm Mark."

"Nice to meet you, Mark," she said as he shook her hand. "I'm on my way out but I just saw you sitting here and wanted to come introduce myself."

"Nice to meet you too."

"Look, this might be really forward, but how about I give you my number and we go get coffee sometime?"

Mark managed a nod and smiled, trying to stay calm as she fished a pen and slip of paper from her purse and jotted down a number.

But the minute I first met you, I could barely catch my breath
I've been standing for days with the phone in my hand like and idiot, scared to death
I've been wandering through the desert--I've been beaten, I've been hit
My people have suffered for thousands of years and I don't give a shit!

"Mark, it's just coffee!" Roger said, rolling his eyes.

"Roger, you did not see this woman. She's not 'just coffee.' She's drop dead gorgeous."

"So coffee means what?"

"I don't know!"

Roger laughed. "You need to calm down. Isn't this what you wanted? A girl your mom didn't set you up with?"

If you had a pierced tongue, that wouldn't matter
If you once were in jail or you once were a man,
If your mother and your brother had "relations" with each other
And your father was connected to the Gotti clan

"I'm really glad that you called me," Maureen said as they strolled along the sidewalk.

Mark blushed. "Me too."

She bit her lip. "You, um, think you might wanna go out again sometime?"

"Definitely, yeah…I mean, if you want to."

Maureen nodded, smiling. "Just, um, I'm a pretty upfront person."

"I noticed," he laughed.

"Well, what you see is what you get, okay? I don't change for anybody."

Mark smiled and squeezed her hand gently. "Wouldn't want you to."

I'd say, "Well, nobody's perfect" --It's tragic but it's true
I'd say, "Hey! Hey! Shiksa goddess! I've been waiting for someone like..."

"I just don't see why you won't go out with her again," Mrs. Cohen said.

Mark sighed. "Because to tell you the truth, Mom, I've been seeing someone."

"Oh! Well, why didn't you just say so? Who is it? Someone I know? Janie? Sarah? Erica?"

"No, Mom, you don't know her. Her name's Maureen."

"Maureen? Is she Jewish?"

"No."

Mark heard her sigh.

"Look, Ma, I've got to go. I'm running late."

After hanging up, Mark went to his notebook and began scribbling. Maureen came in from the fire escape and saw him hunched over on the sofa.

"Inspired?"

"Found my muse," he said. She smiled and he leaned over to kiss her before returning his attention to his notebook.

You, breaking the circle-- You, taking the light
You, you are the story I should write--I have to write!

"Pookie, can I ask you something?" Maureen asked.

"Sure."

"Is there anything about me that you would change?"

"What?"

"If there was something about me that you could change, what would it be?"

Mark shook his head. "Not a damn thing."

She smiled. "Really?"

"Really."

If you drove an R.V., that wouldn't matter
If you like to drink blood, I think it's cute
If you've got a powerful connection to your firearm collection
I'd say, "Draw, beat, and shoot
I'm your Hebrew slave, at your service, just tell me what to do"

Mark lay in bed staring down at Maureen. She was sound asleep and looked absolutely beautiful. Mark stroked her hair gently. Her head was resting on his chest, one arm draped across his stomach. He smiled and, for the first time in quite a while, felt truly happy.

I say, "Hey hey hey hey! I've been waiting for someone,

I've been praying for someone,

I think that I could be in love with someone like you!"