Rating: PG-13

Warnings: Character death

Song Featured: "Please Remember" from the movie Coyote Ugly

Disclaimer: RENT is the sole property of Jonathan Larson. Also, the song "Please Remember" is the sole property of its writers.

It happens fast. At least, it seems that way. In retrospect, they both know they're lucky he's lasted so long. Mimi lasted a month past that Christmas Eve. Collins lived three more years. Now, as they sit in the hospital room, they know that they're lucky Roger has had so long.

"How many years?" he asks.

"Since what?"

"Everything. April. Mimi. Collins."

Mark sighs. "Ten since April. Eight since Mimi. Five since Collins."

Time, sometimes the time just slips away

"You remember the café?" he asks.

Mark nods. "Life Café."

"I liked it there."

"Me too…Drove that waiter nuts with the table dancing though."

Roger manages a small laugh. "He got pissed."

And you're left with yesterday
Left with the memories

Mark's staring out the window while Roger sleeps. He wants to watch Roger, take in every feature just in case he doesn't sleep again, but he knows Roger would wake from the uneasy feeling of being watched and tease him about being paranoid. Mark stares out the window instead and remembers all the times when the snow had been too heavy to leave the loft and they'd sit by the window watching the snow fall. He smiles, as he always does when he thinks of those times.

I, I'll always think of you and smile
And be happy for the time
I had you with me

He usually leaves the camera at the loft. Today, though, Roger has asked him to bring it. He won't explain why until Mark's sitting in the room with the camera rolling.

"I want this on film…so you can watch it again. I want you to remember me but not the me you see right now. Not the me in this hospital bed. I want you to remember all the crazy shit we used to do, all the fun we used to have…I want you to remember me buggin' the hell out of you with 'Musetta's Waltz' and me teasing you about…well, about everything…"

"Roger—"

He shakes his head. "Shut it, Mark. I wanna do this now. Before I get bad. Before I get too sick."

Mark nods and swallows, waiting for Roger to continue.

Though we go our seperate ways
I won't forget so don't forget the memories we made

"Get me the papers in the pocket of my coat."

It's been two days since they made the video and neither has spoken about it. Mark goes to the small cabinet in the corner of the room currently serving as Roger's closet. He reaches into the pocket and feels a thin stack of papers. They're folded in half and he can't help but be curious as he hands it to Roger.

"It's my list."

"Your list?"

"All the good stuff…all the good times…You remember after I got clean when I couldn't remember stuff?"

Mark nods.

"I didn't want to forget the good things, the good times. So every time something good happened with any of us, I wrote it down. That way even if I forgot, I'd have it written down that something happened, that something good happened."

Mark manages a little half-smile. "Good idea."

Roger hands the papers to him. "I want you to read it to me later. And I want you to keep it."

Please remember, please remember
I was there for you and you were there for me
Please remember, our time together

A few days later, the lesions appear on his arm. Neither of them mentions it. Roger asks if Mark still has the papers. Mark assures him they're in his pocket.

"Read it to me."

"Now?"

Roger nods. "I want to remember."

Mark nods and pulls the folded papers from his pocket. He takes a shaky breath and begins to read. He hasn't read it since Roger handed it to him and isn't sure what he'll find written. "July 1989—Maureen bought us fireworks and lit them off on the roof."

Roger smiles. "I remember that…you thought we were gonna get arrested."

Mark chuckles softly. "Yeah…"

"Keep going."

"December 1989—Collins is home. Collins met Angel and introduced us all. Angel's a drummer, an awesome drag-queen drummer."

Roger blinks back tears but motions to Mark to keep going.

"December 1989—I met Mimi. She lives downstairs. I think I like her. Also, Maureen had her first protest and Mark sold his first footage to the news. I'm…I'm so proud of him."

Mark's got tears in his eyes now too. Roger puts a hand on his. "That's all today."

The time was yours and mine
while we were wild and free
Please remember, please remember me

The next day, Roger asks him to read more. Mark isn't surprised. Roger's paler, the bags under his eyes are growing. His face looks hollow.

"Okay…um…start where we left off yesterday?"

Roger nods.

"January 1990—we spent New Year's Eve breaking back into our own loft. Maureen dressed up like a cat, for some unknown reason."

They both laugh at that memory.

"February 1990—best Valentine's Day of my life because it's the first one I've had with Mimi."

Roger's eyes fill with tears.

"You want to stop?"

Roger shakes his head. "Keep…going…"

Mark nods. "July 1990—we all watched the fireworks from the roof. All of us together, not counting Benny, but all of us happy and feeling okay."

"That…was the last….holiday with Angel…"

Mark nods. "I know."

"Keep going…"

"Uh…okay…November 1990—back in New York, Mark quit Buzzline and he's let me come back to the loft, no questions asked."

Roger reaches a frail hand out to touch Mark's. "I didn't…thank you…for that…"

"You're my best friend. No need to—"

"Never said it…but I'm sorry…for all…the shit I said…after Angel's…funeral…"

Mark shakes his head. "Long forgiven."

"No more today…"

Mark nods and slips the papers into his pocket again. Neither of them says it, but they both know Roger's slipping away.

Goodbye, there's just no sadder word to say
And it's sad to walk away
with just the memories

"Mark?"

"Yeah?"

"You ever…wonder…if I hadn't met…April…"

Mark thinks for a minute before answering him. "Forget regret. That's what we've always said, right?"

Roger manages a small nod.

"If you hadn't met April, you probably would've moved out of the loft and you wouldn't have met Mimi."

Roger blinks back tears. "You're right…as usual…"

Who's to know what might have been
We'll leave behind a life and time I'll never know again

The visits are longer now. Not because Roger's feeling better. Quite the opposite. The visits are longer because they both know they're running out of time. Roger doesn't want to be alone and Mark doesn't want to leave his side. He's in and out of consciousness and sleep most of the day. Mark doesn't leave his side for anything other than using the bathroom that's in Roger's room. He only eats because one of the nurses picks him up sandwiches on her break.

"Mark?"

"Right here, Roger."

"Do you…know…where Maureen…Joanne…"

Mark shakes his head. "I'm not sure. I've left messages with Maureen's parents though and they'll pass the messages along as soon as they hear from them."

"Okay."

Mark studies his expression. "You okay? I mean, you need anything?"

"Just…don't…leave me…"

Mark holds Roger's hand in his, trying not to think about how strange it is that his hand is now so much bigger and stronger than Roger's. "I'm not going anywhere. Friendship is thicker than blood, okay? Remember that. I'm not leaving."

Please remember, please remember
I was there for you and you were there for me
And remember, please remember me

Mark hasn't read from the list again. It's still in his pocket, but Roger hasn't been alert enough to hear it or ask to hear it. Mark wishes he could still hide behind his camera. He hates the irony that he hid while surrounded by people and now, when he finally has to actually deal and not hide, he's alone.

Maureen and Joanne have been off who knows where. Maureen's parents swear they'll pass on the message as soon as they hear from them. Mark doesn't want to be angry with them, but he knows Roger wants to see them once more, say goodbye to them. He hates that he's not going to get that.

"Mark?"

"Yeah?"

"Will you…tell my mom…I love her?"

Mark blinks back tears. "Yeah, yeah I'll tell her."

"Forget…this stuff…okay?"

"What stuff?"

"Hospital…just…look at…the list…remember that…"

Mark nods.

Please remember, please remember
I was there for you and you were there for me
Please remember our time together
The time was yours and mine
While we were wild and free
Then remember, please remember me

Mark's there when Roger dies. He's holding his hand tightly. He's the only one there. When Roger's breathing stops and the heart monitor beeps in that sad monotone, Mark turns the machine off and pushes the button for the nurses. He tells them he wants some time to say goodbye first.

The truth is they've already said goodbye. Mark just doesn't want it to be over. So when the nurses leave, he sits on the bed beside Roger and pulls him into a final embrace, fighting his tears. He's not trying to hide. He's afraid that if he starts to cry, he may not be able to stop.

He makes the funeral arrangements himself for a week later. It gives Maureen and Joanne enough time to resurface. It gives Mark time to go see Mrs. Davis. She's been in a nursing home for the last seven years. She has Alzheimer's. He tells the nurses what happened before telling Mrs. Davis. The old woman cries for a few minutes but eventually calms. When she looks Mark up and down and asks who he is and where her son is, Mark can't do anything but shake his head apologetically at the nurses and walk out.

He goes home to the loft that suddenly seems much too empty, much too quiet. He sets up the old projector and turns on his favorite movie, his first movie.

And how we laugh and how we smile
And how this heart was yours and mine
and how a dream was out of reach

When the movie is over, Mark finally pulls out the list and begins to read over all of it, paying careful attention to the parts he had yet to read. It's all there. Every possible happy moment for any of them. Collins getting his memoirs published. Maureen and Joanne's commitment ceremony. Mark's win at the local film festivals. All of it chronicled in Roger's scratchy handwriting on yellowing notebook paper.

I stood by you, you stood by me
We took each day and made it shine
We wrote our names across the sky
We ride so fast, we ride so free
And I knew that you had me

Mark sits alone at the funeral, shrugging off Maureen and Joanne. He wants to grieve alone. When they go to the cemetery for the burial, he drops the rose onto the closed coffin and collapses to the ground in tears.

Please remember, please remember