Rating: PG-13

Warnings: Some adult language, mentions of drug use

Song Featured: "Measure a Man" as performed by Clay Aiken

Disclaimer: RENT is the sole property of Jonathan Larson. Also, the song "Measure a Man" is the sole property of its writers.

He wonders what it is that she sees in Benny. Sure, Benny's got money. It's not his, exactly, it's Allison's, his wife's. Maybe she doesn't know he's married. Whether she knows or not, Mark is sure that he tells her it's his. Could it all be about money? Mark takes another drink from the beer bottle at the table and watches her swivel her hips around in time to the music.

If one day you discover him broken down, he's lost everything
no cars, no fancy clothes to make him who he's not
the woman at his side is all that he has got

"She's fantastic. I mean, she's sweet and she doesn't cling or demand anything. She doesn't bitch at me half as much as Allison."

Mark rolls his eyes. "No offense, Benny, but is this going somewhere?"

"She said she loves me."

Mark nearly spits out his drink. He coughs for a minute before almost laughing. "So I take it she doesn't know about Allison?"

"Of course not."

"And did you say it back?"

"Couldn't…then she went all paranoid about why wouldn't I say it back and wanting an exact layout of my feelings for her. She actually asked what I would do for her."

"Do for her?"

Benny nods. "Yeah, like takin' bullets and jumping in front of speeding cars. Life and death kind of shit."

Why do you ask him move heaven and earth to prove his love has worth?

"Would you?"

"How the hell am I supposed to answer that, Mark? That's more of a trick question than 'do I look fat in these pants' and you know it."

Mark laughs. "No, it's not. You tell her yes, you'd do all those things."

"Mark, she's not that good of a lay that I'm gonna get my ass killed for her."

"Are you out of your mind? She doesn't want you to actually go get yourself killed. She wants to know you'd protect her."

"What?"

"She wants to know that you'd be willing to do those things. Come on, what are the odds that you'd actually have to take a bullet for her?"

"Mark, we live in New York City."

Would he walk on water? Would he run through fire?
Would he stand before you when it's down to the wire?

As he walks back to the loft, Mark wonders about Mimi. He's seen her dance but he's never spoken with her and never seen her outside of the club. He wonders if she's truly that insecure that she needs to know Benny would die for her.

Stepping into the loft, he sees a note from Maureen promising to be back tonight. He understands that Mimi's insecurities perfectly. He's just not sure that his own insecurities run as deep. He doesn't want to know that Maureen's willing to die for him. Hell, he's willing to settle for willing to be faithful to him.

Maureen's cheated before, though, that's why he's that insecure. What could've happened to Mimi, he wonders, that would make her want or need that much reassurance?

Would he give his life up to be all he can
Is that, is that, is that how you measure a man?

Mark isn't surprised when Benny tells him she broke it off. He didn't exactly treat her well and he sure as hell doesn't deserve her. Mark still hasn't spoken on her, but based on how Benny's treated him and Roger, there's no way he deserves a woman like Mimi.

He's surprised and somewhat jealous when she shows up at the loft to introduce herself to Roger. They both deserve happiness though. Mark can't stand seeing Roger mope around the loft, which is all he's done since April's suicide. So Mark pushes his own feelings aside and tells Roger to pursue her. He hopes Roger is enough for her.

If by chance all he had to give you was three words wrapped around your finger
Would that be deep enough at the end of everyday
and how will you ever know if a man is what he says?

"Mark, I don't know what to do. He completely shuts me out," she says.

"He…he doesn't like to talk about his feelings."

"I noticed."

Mark hands her a cup of coffee, a jolt running through him when their hands brush. He mentally scolds himself and refocuses his attention.

"Roger's last girlfriend—"

"I know what happened with April. He told me that."

"He did?"

She nods.

"Wow…he doesn't talk about April to anybody."

"So he can talk to me about shit he doesn't talk to other people about…why can't he just say it back?"

"Mimi, what do you want him to say?"

"That he loves me."

"He'll say it—"

"When he's ready. That's exactly what he said."

She stands up and Mark bites his lip, resisting the urge to call after her. She needs to be alone right now. They've grown close enough for him to know that much. What kills him is knowing it wouldn't make a difference if he called after her. She'd keep going.

Why do you ask him move heaven and earth
To prove his love has worth?
Would he walk on water?

Would he run through fire?
Would he stand before you when it's down to the wire?
Would he give his life up to be all he can?
Is that, is that, is that how you measure a man?

She's curled up on Roger's lap and Mark's regretting his request to film them. Sure he needs more footage but he feels his heart coming undone a little more each time Roger touches her. Each time she kisses him. Each time they ignore him because they're lost in each other. He's been spacing out and is snapped back to reality when he hears her say his name.

"Huh?"

"Oh, I was just saying that Roger needs to be more like you."

His eyes widen and he's grateful for the camera to hide behind. "What?"

"You know, sweeter, nicer…"

Roger sticks his tongue out at her. "I am nice!"

He never gives up, lets go of his dreams
his world goes around for his one true belief
Is that how you know? Is that what it means?

He watches them fall apart and watches Benny swoop in to console her. His heart's broken and he's not sure he even cares to try and fix it.

In the hallway outside the loft, they all watch as Roger storms down the stairs, bag and guitar in hand, bound for Santa Fe. Benny moves to pull Mimi into his arms and she pushes him away. Mark feels a glimmer of hope.

"Please don't touch me," she says. "Understand that I'm scared…I need to go away."

This is it. His chance. He can save her. Save her the way Roger wanted to and couldn't. The way Benny couldn't.

"I know a place, a clinic—"

"A rehab?" Benny asks.

Mark nods, daring a step closer to her.

"Maybe," she says.

Mark freezes when she turns to Benny. "Could you…"

"I'll pay."

Maybe it is money. He hates thinking that she'd be that shallow, but it's easier than thinking she'd choose Benny over him.

Would he walk on water?
Would he run through fire?
Would he stand before you?

She goes missing. Mark didn't think his heart could break any more. He pretends the concern is purely platonic. He pretends so well that no one questions it. When Maureen and Joanne find her, his mind is made up. He has to tell her. Losing her to Roger or Benny is one thing, but to think she'd been out there alone without either of them and still not knowing how much he loves her…Mark couldn't handle that.

He loses all courage when she tells Roger she loves him. Words that could very well be her last and she chooses to tell Roger that she loves him, knowing full well that he's never said it back.

Will he be your anchor when the dark unfolds?
Will he always love you the best that he knows?
Would he give his life up to be all he can?
Is that, is that, is that how you measure a man?

Mark feels the lump in his throat when Roger finally does assure her that he loves her. There's no way now. No way will she ever pick him over Roger. Not when Roger's…Roger. His eyes fill with tears when they think she's died. Roger cries out her name.

Would he walk on water?
Would he run through fire?
Would he stand before you when it's down to the wire?
Would he give his life up to be all he can?

When she comes back to life a minute later, Mark feels more joy than he thought possible. She's clinging to Roger and he knows she always will, but she's alive. The pure knowledge that she's alive puts part of his heart back together. He starts the film reel and watches the images flicker across the screen. He knows he'll never tell her the truth. All he wants in this world is her happiness. As the footage pours across the screen, he knows that her happiness is Roger. For once, Mark's okay with that.

Is that, is that, is that how you measure...
Is that, is that, is that how you measure a man?