I don't own Naruto - wish I did - but I don't (goes off to be depressed)
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They Day They Found Out
Chapter 3: Genin Action Plan
They leaned forward excited.
Even Neji.
A few minutes later, they were all deep in thought.
"Can't be my sensei…"
"Could be a henge, though…"
"But a MAN'S voice?"
"Very odd…"
"This is stupid…"
"Too troublesome."
"munchmunchwell, at least Iruka-sensei's getting lunch fresh munchmunch Dad says that's true love – sharing food…. Munchmunchmunch…"
"No way! How cute!"
"I thought that first, pig!"
"Shut up, forehead girl!"
"B-b-b-b-but… who-who could it be… a – a –a man! Eeeee…."
That night the Genins went to bed very thoughtful and the next morning when it was time to hand out mission reports, Iruka felt very odd – like he was stuffed animal at an exhibition.
Why the heck was Neji staring at him with the Byukugan?
And even Lee seemed to be -….
Was Hinata trying to say something?
How could one explain Shino's proverb about 'journey's end in lover's meeting'?
Why did Ino give him a bouquet?
Was it -?
No.
They had beyond discreet.
Blame Kakashi's paranoia.
Or maybe his awareness of parent's reactions…
Not that – then why?
"Hmmm… he didn't seem that odd…" drawled Shikamaru. "Let's forget this troublesome thing and just let him do his own thing."
"You mean, you couldn't figure it out?" asked Ino, incredulously.
"Working as a Chuunin is HARD! If only I had known better, I wouldn't have gone into such a troublesome exam! (sigh) So, no… I haven't really been able to think much on it." Shikamaru lied glibly, thinking about the time he spent with Iruka in the classroom and in the mission room.
His old Academy Teacher when bored loved to doodle mohegi figures. Shikamaru wasn't stupid. Neither was he interested. He merely shrugged his shoulders. If Iruka and Pakkun's owner had a thing going, it was only going to be trouble for Shikamaru if he stuck his nose into a fellow Chuunin and Jounin's affairs.
Chouji paused for a moment to consider Shikamaru's evasive eye action.
So he knows… eh… Chouji shrugged. If he doesn't care, why worry?
He went back to his eating.
"We should be able to figure this out," TenTen snorted. "No problem. By analysis, by detecting and by cutting down the options."
Shino nodded. "Thinking clearly solves many future problems. Who would like to go where angels fear to tread?"
There was a confused silence as everybody tried to understand bug boy.
Akamaru barked.
"Don't worry!" Kiba said loudly. "Akamaru's right! We'll sniff him out in no time."
"But maybe we should ask questions first!" Lee suggested clenching his fist. "The wisdom of our sensei, surely is a well of learning and knowledge that we in the spring time of our youth can depend upon."
Everybody blinked.
"WHAT THE HELL? Why does bushy eyebrows always talk so funny?"
Sakura grabbed Lee's crutch and whacked Naruto over the head. "Stop making fun of him, Naruto!"
The group then broke up and the Jounin sensei interrogation began.
"So… Kaka-sensei… do you have – er – well… any sisters?"
"Ehh, Sakura-chan?" asked Kakashi snapping his book shut with a leery air. "Sisters?"
"Sisters."
There was an air of excitement as Naruto picked up a can and threw it in the garbage bin, trying to look like he wasn't listening and utterly failing.
"Sisters? No. None."
"How about… um… a girl cousin?"
"Girl cousins… mmm… No. None."
"An aunt? A female – er – distantly related to you?"
"No. Not at all… umm… what's the problem? You got a genealogy assignment from your parents or something?" Kakashi stared suspiciously down at the girl.
Sakura blinked.
"Errrr… no… it's just that I wondered if you had any family left."
"No. I'm the one and only Hatake!" Kakashi's eye curved up in a smile (the better to hide his pain).
"The only one?"
Sakura's mind boggled.
The only one.
"Your dad and mom are dead, you mean?" She asked timidly.
Kakashi stared at her.
She blushed suddenly aware she was trespassing on a huge load of social rules.
"Aren't you supposed to be picking up garbage?" he asked after a long moment.
Sakura nodded and turned away – confused and sad.
"Sensei –" she stopped hesitantly.
"What, Sakura…" Kakashi sighed, hand frozen as it pulled his Icha Icha out mid-way.
"Ummm… did you get your hair colour from your Mom or your Dad?"
"My…" Kakashi paused and then, smiled again. "My father."
"Oh… so you look more like your dad…"
"I think so."
Sakura scuttled away.
I think so.
It had sounded so – sad? Bitter? Angry?
A lot of emotions had gone into that 'I think so'.
Gai's team had a much, much, much rockier time. That is to say, upon asking Gai whether he had any female or male relatives who were white-haired, he pulled out his handy-dandy family photo album (matching green cover), wherein he showed his huge (and scarily Gai-like) extended family. His old mom, his deceased father (complete with black hair and huge eyebrows), his uncles, aunts, cousins and various removed relatives.
Lee, needless to say was entranced by Gai's invitation to the family monthly dinner the next day. Returning home, Neji and TenTen walked like zombies – forever scarred. Lee however had enjoyed himself and vowed to return there as much as possible. TenTen just shook her head.
"I didn't think a female Lee existed…"
"Now I know…"
"What did Shino say?" asked Neji. "Ignorance is bliss?"
"Something like that."
Asuma and Kurenai each had a couple of family members with pure white hair – from old age. Kurenai though had a female cousin with whitish hair (due to shock from a genjutsu during training). Hinata nabbed the photo when her sensei wasn't looking.
Looking at their small collection of photos of female nins with white hair (3), the group of Genins shook their head.
"So maybe it IS a man," TenTen said with a sigh.
"How cute!" Sakura smiled.
All the boys shuddered.
"What if – what if – what if it was Mizuki-sensei?" asked Naruto.
"Who?"
"You know – Mizuki-sensei…"
"Hey…" Shikamaru said. "He did some thing bad with some ancient jutsu scroll and hurt Iruka and ended up in jail – I heard gossip about that in the teacher's room."
Everybody sighed enviously – Shikamaru was able to lounge around with teachers in the teacher's common room and hear tons of delicious gossip!
"And -?"
"And…"
"And?" They chorused.
"Well… he's in jail – couldn't have been him…"
Everybody sighed in relief.
Iruka deserved better.
"But he could have escaped."
Everybody jumped.
"Maybe we should tell somebody," Hinata stuttered.
"What?" Naruto asked in her face. "I didn't hear you…"
"What would we say?" asked Neji. "Um, Hokage-sama, we think Mizuki is loose because we think we saw him in Iruka's classroom bringing lunch to Iruka and kissing him?"
"Sounds farfetched to me," sniffed Sasuke.
"Fact is stranger than fiction sometimes…" Shino murmured, turning away from a spy bug's report.
"Eh… why do you say such dumb things, Shino…" Naruto grumbled. "I don't understand."
"You never do," Chouji said between munching some chips. "That's why you wouldn't be a main character in a story – you're so clueless."
But Shino felt huffy.
He decided not to say anything about his news breaking info.
Let Naruto and his pals TRY to figure it out on their own… feh…. Idiots. Right in front of their nose – so THERE – that none of them could see….
"Maybe we should go to our sensei and get them to help us!" Lee said in a nice guy pose. "I'm sure their reconnaissance skills are better than ours!"
Neji and TenTen thought about Gai-sensei. So he was pretty scary. And rather loud. But he was also serious. And knew when to keep his mouth shut. And he could beat Kaka-sensei on a good day when they did their weekly matches.
Lee's idea wasn't so bad.
Hinata, Shino and Kiba considered their sensei, Kurenai. She looked hot. She dressed nice all the time – something most shinobi could only aspire to. And her eye shadow was always well done in Hinata's opinion. Okay, so she looked like a wind could knock her over – still, the team had seen her do some really good genjutsu on people before. She would be an asset.
Lee's idea had some merit.
Ino, Shikamaru and Chouji sighed as they thought about Asuma-sensei. He was strong and big and very menacing looking. Okay – so he always harped on and on about training – but that only went to show how dedicated he was. Chouji thought him harsh sometimes – but he also knew that if Kurenai could be strung in, Asuma would follow along willingly without comment. He'd be a good interrogator if nothing else.
Lee's idea sounded okay.
Team 7 sweat-dropped as they visualized their sensei during their last mission of gardening. He had spent the entire time in the tree above them giggling about something in his perverted book. Okay – so Kaka-sensei had the Sharingan – but he only revealed it when the situation was life threatening. He never took anything super seriously (perhaps a sign of greatness, but annoying) and he was always late – and a bad liar to boot.
Lee's idea sounded crap ass.
"It's a crap ass idea!" Naruto yelled, pointing a finger at Lee.
Everybody blinked. (They had assumed everybody was on the same page.)
"Kaka-sensei would ruin it!"
"For once," Sasuke said into the ensuing silence. "I have to agree with the idiot."
"I'm not an idiot, don't call me that!"
"Shut up, idiot!"
"GYYYAAAAHHH- THUNK!"
Naruto's face was buried in earth as Sakura knocked him unconscious.
"Sasuke-kun is right. Kaka-sensei shouldn't be told…"
Inner Sakura: DAMN RIGHT!
"You can just imagine…" She shuddered.
Kakashi would walk right up to Iruka and say something like, "So… Iruka-sensei… I hear you're doing the naughty during your lunches… can I watch?"
(flick, Sharingan revealed)
Sakura shook her head violently banishing the disturbing image.
The Genins sweat-dropped.
"Fine," Neji said. "You wait for us to finish gathering our senseis. Tomorrow we bring them to the white arch platform."
Will the Genins open up to their sensei? What will the sensei say to this shocking revelation? Who else is to be roped into this scheme? Next episode: Sensei Gossip!
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