Rating: PG-13
Warnings: Language, smoking
Song Featured: "Crash and Burn" as performed by Savage Garden
Disclaimer: RENT is the sole property of Jonathan Larson. Also, the song "Crash and Burn" is the sole property of its writer(s).
Note: Okay, I cut out the repeated choruses because I felt it'd be too much dragging on and repitition. Just a lil fyi
Mark and Collins found April. Collins called 911. Mark searched the loft for Roger. He found him huddled in the corner of his bedroom.
"Roger…"
"She's dead…she's dead…she promised she wouldn't—wouldn't leave…" Tears were streaming down his cheeks.
"I-I'm sorry…"
"I'm dying."
"No, you're not. I know this hurts but—"
Roger extended a trembling hand holding a crumpled piece of notebook paper. Mark reached for it. Four words. Baby we got AIDS. Mark knelt down and wrapped his arms around Roger.
When you feel all alone and the world has turned its back on you
Give me a moment please to tame your wild, wild heart
Three days. Three days that Roger hadn't slept. Mark finally got him to close his eyes and exhaustion overwhelmed him.
"How you holding up?" she asked.
"Fine."
"Fine?"
"I just…" Mark sighed. "It feels like it's not getting any better. I just…I wish I knew how to help him."
Maureen slipped her arms around his neck. "You are helping him, baby. You are."
I know you feel like the walls are closing in on you
It's hard to find relief and people can be so cold
Mimi had been quiet through her whole first meeting. She was on her way out the door when she heard someone call her name. She turned and saw one of the other group members, she couldn't remember name, coming towards her.
"Hi! I'm Angel."
"Mimi, but apparently you remembered."
"Wanna go get some lunch?"
"Sorry I'm broke."
Angel shrugged. "My treat."
"Why?"
"What?"
"Why?" Mimi was suspicious. Nobody gave something for nothing.
"You seem nice. And you look like you could use a friend."
When darkness is upon your door and you feel like you can't take anymore
Let me be the one you call
Roger stood on the roof, staring down at the street. He heard the door click open but didn't turn around.
"Don't," Benny said.
"What?"
"Don't jump." He approached Roger slowly, his hands up in defense.
"You really think I'm that stupid?"
Benny stopped, dropping his hands. "I don't know. I mean, you…I just…"
"You figured that since I'm dying and my girlfriend killed herself I'd just follow her leave?"
"Not till I woke up in the middle of the night and found you standing very near to the edge of the roof."
Roger smiled. "Fair enough."
"So how you doin'?"
Roger shrugged. "Truth?"
"That'd be nice."
"I want to. I won't. But part of me wants to."
Benny stepped towards him and hugged Roger to him, pulling him away from the roof's ledge. Roger's head fell to Benny's shoulder as he cried.
"I miss her so much, Ben…and this just…everything hurts so much…"
If you jump, I'll break your fall
Lift you up and fly away with you into the night
If you need to fall apart, I can mend a broken heart
If you need to crash, then crash and burn, you're not alone
Maureen sat in the café alone with her coffee. She was still blinking back tears when Mark came in.
"There you are," he said.
She didn't answer him. His camera, she noticed, was strangely absent.
"You kind of disappeared back there."
"Think you're the only one who noticed."
Mark shrugged and sat down across from her. "How you holdin' up?"
"One of my best friends is dying. How do you think I'm holding up?"
Mark winced. "Okay. Fair enough."
"I'm sorry. I just…"
"I know."
When you feel all alone and a loyal friend is hard to find
You're caught in a one-way street with the monsters in your head
"I quit Buzzline," Mark said.
"Seriously?"
"Yep."
"Good. Alexi sounded like a pain in the ass," Roger laughed.
"Yeah, well, she was. How's Santa Fe?"
Roger's tone saddened. "Tell you the truth…it sucks. I thought I'd be able to clear my head, get some writing done…nothing. I just, I don't know…I thought I'd find my song out here, ya know? That one great song that I can be remembered for…"
"Why don't you come home?"
"What?"
"If Santa Fe sucks and you're not finding what you were looking for there, why not just come home?"
"That, um, that'd be okay?"
Mark nearly laughed. "Of course."
"Even after all the shit I said when I left?"
"Roger, just come home. You know you'd rather be freezing your ass off here than alone there anyway."
When hopes and dreams are far away
And you feel like you can't face the day
Roger sat on the fire escape, staring at the city below. Maureen came out and sat beside him.
"You okay?"
Roger nodded and took another puff of his cigarette. "Just wish I knew that she's okay…"
"I know. Me too."
Roger raised an eyebrow and stomped out the cigarette. "That's why we get along so well, Mo."
"Why?"
"Because you don't hand me the same trying-to-be-comforting 'I'm sure she's fine' bullshit that everyone else does."
Maureen nodded slowly. "I do hope she is. And in my heart, I think she is."
"Me too." Roger put an arm around her and gave her a quick hug.
"Rog?"
"Yeah?"
"Even, um…look I know we should stay positive and all that crap, but I just want you to know that even if Mimi's not okay, it's not your fault. And you will be okay."
Roger gave her a small, sad smile. "Thanks."
'Cause there has always been heartache and pain
And when it's over you'll breathe again
"Mark, you got a second?" Benny asked.
Mark nodded and sat down. "Sure, what's up?"
"Look, there's something I've been meaning to talk to you about."
"What?"
"After Angel's funeral…when, um, when you and Roger got into that fight…"
"What about it?"
"Mimi's not the only one who heard it. I heard it too."
"Benny, that was months ago. Roger and I have talked that out—"
"I know and I'm not tryin' to start anything. I just…when you said that you're the one of us to survive…you're wrong."
Mark looked at him, frowning.
Benny sighed. "I know I've been a dick the last few years, but I'm still your friend. And I'm not goin' anywhere."
When you feel all alone and the world has turned its back on you
Give me a moment, please, to tame your wild, wild heart