Cheesy: AHAHAHAHAHA! IT'S ME! THE EVIL BETA! AGAIN! Bet you thought Lemo got rid of me, huh? WELL YOU WERE WRONG! I'M BACK AND SCARIER THAN EVER! No, seriously. My hair's gone all poofy. Fecking water. Anyways… ahahahaha… yodel… AAAAAAAAAMMMMMMMBBBBBOOOOOOOO! COME BACK AMBO! –cries-

Chapter 5: the one with the Femslash.

Ok…I think this story needs some warnings. Ok, in the last chapter there was slash and there might be some in this one. In here there's some 'drug' use and femslash 'tween Lemo and Cheesy.

Ok now Mr. I-Don't-Own-A-Goddamn-Thing AKA the Unclaimer…Well, hey, would'ya look at that? All done!

Lemo and Cheesy sat in potions class with Mr. Sexy and Jub. The two kept sighing and it was slowly sending Jub and Mr. Sexy insane.

"Alright, what's wrong with you two? And where the flying goat is Ambo?" Jub demanded.

"Ambooooo!" Cheesy wailed, breaking down in tears.

"There, there." Lemo said soothingly as Cheesy sobbed into her shoulder. "Ambo shall return to us one day, with novelty pens!"

"…So where's Ambo?" Me. Sexy asked.

"Disneyland."

"…Disneyland?"

"Oh hey, he's like a parrot! I always wanted a parrot! I shall call you Poopie."

"Isn't Poopie a vampire?" Jub asked.

"SHHH!" Lemo and Cheesy…er…shhhed. "That story was taken down! We must never speak of it!"

At that moment, Professor Potter stormed into the room, looking rather grumpy. Cheesy's tears miraculously stopped so she could ask a smart-ass question.

"Jeez, what crawled up your ass, Professor?" asked Cheesy.

"Not Draco." The Dark Ruler/Professor sighed.

"Well that sucks." Lemo said, either not hearing or ignoring the Professor's mutter of 'I wish it did'.

"Anyway!" Professor Potter snapped out of his sulk. "I'm meant to be teaching you shit! Right, we're doing a potion, and if you fuck it up something wild and crazy that no one expects will happen! Get in pairs and instructions will be on the board in a mo. And stop stealing from my storerooms! I have Veritaserum!"

Everyone got busy with the potion-making, Lemo and Cheesy paired together and Mr. Sexy and Jub doing the same.

"What the toast are we making anyway?" Lemo asked.

"A Scintillating Solution." Cheesy answered.

Jub blinked. "What does that do?"

"No one knows," Mr. Sexy said while chopping up some Ginger roots and dropping them in the bubbling potion.

"So…Why are we making it then?"

"Because, I wanna test it." Professor Potter intruded, laughing slightly manically.

"Well that's mean."

"Shut up."

Forty minutes later every was finished with their potions-anizing. All the potions were a light purple colour.

Except Lemo's and Cheesy's; there's was at least three shades of green.

"Lemo," Cheesy began. "Did you put something in the potion that wasn't meant to go in the potion."

"I may have put a complementary ham sandwich in there."

"We're going to fail. Yay!"

"Right, everyone test your potion!"

"We're going to die."

"Mumbob'll bail us out."

Cheesy and Lemo sighed and filled a couple of goblets with the gooey liquid. They quickly swallowed the concoction before slamming the goblets down on the table.

"Hmm. Tastes like when you chew sweet mint gum then drink diet coke." Lemo said.

"Tastes like gin to me." Cheesy replied.

"That's what I said."

"Suuuuure y'did. So you feel any different?"

"Kinda. I have the strangest urge to make you my bitch. You have a nice ass y'know."

"I wouldn't mind being your bitch. Wanna go have hot femslash sex in a broom cupboard?"

"Sure!"

The two linked arms and walked out of the class room, ignoring the way every was staring at them.

"Well…That wasn't what I expected to happen…" Professor Potter said. "What'd everyone else's potions do…Oh."

The Dark Lord/Potions Man now realized why his class had been silent and the author hadn't focused on them throughout Lemo and Cheesy's entire conversation; they'd all been turned into hats.

"Well shit."

THE END

I guess.

Until I add more! WoOOOoooo! There may be a part two to this chapter!