Title - The Spy
Author - Spookysister7
Email address - - http/ - PG
Category - MASH
Spoilers - Post Henry
Summary - Hawkeye's in command, a beautiful spy comes along, need I say more?
"I can take umbrage, I can take the cake, I can take the A-train. I can take two and call me in the morning, but I cannot take this sitting down!" -Hawkeye
MASH: The Spy
"Attention Captain Pierce! Please report to Colonel Potter's office immediately! Thank you. This has been a service of the MASH 4077 intercom system. If you didn't hear this, please contact Radar."
"You rang, Colonel?" Hawkeye asked as he sauntered into Potter's office.
"Ah, good, just in time."
"In time for what?" Hawkeye asked, plopping down into a chair. Potter hefted a large bag onto his desk and shook his head.
"I'm glad I caught you before you returned to the Swamp. Burns and I are headed down to Seoul. I'm leaving you in charge."
"Ah! Colonel, you promised you'd never leave me in charge again! What do you want left of this camp when you get back!"
"Now, Pierce, I know I said I wouldn't make you do it again, but I've got no choice. You're the highest ranking doctor in this unit! You're in command. Now, if you have any problems, call me. I'll be back here before you can say Betty Boop."
"Why me? How long will you be gone?"
"A week."
"A week! It might as well be a lifetime!"
"Oh, horse pucket! You'll be fine. See you in a week." Colonel Potter said as he left the office.
Two days passed with little effort, then, on the third day, all hell broke loose.
"Radar, what is that racket? Can't you see that I need my beauty sleep?"
"But, Sir, it's noon."
"Radar, what's wrong with the radio?" Hawkeye sighed, annoyed by the confused clamor blaring from the radio.
"Something big is going down, Sir. Something about Russians. That's all I can make out." Almost as Radar finished speaking, the radio fell silent.
"Halleluiah. Wake me when the war comes back, will ya?" Hawkeye said, yawning. A crackle of broadcast came clearly through the radio.
"I repeat, radio silence shall be observed. No phone calls, telegraphs, or any other forms of communication until further notice. By the command of General Pan..." The broadcast faded out and Radar flipped the switch back and forth.
"Silence on all channels, Sir. Jeeze! This must be serious! I've never heard it so quiet! What do you think we should do?"
"I'd say we stay silent. Call me if you hear anything." Hawkeye said, only mildly worried. A very nervous Radar clamped the headphones around his ears and listened intently to the silence.
After a couple hours of radio silence, Radar was bored.
"Hey, Klinger?"
"Yah?"
"Take over for me for a sec. I need a break."
"Kay. Where ya headed?"
"I think I'll take a walk, maybe hit the mess tent."
"If there's anything edible, bring me some."
"Edible? Don't you know why they call it a mess?"
"Ha, ha. Don't quit your day job."
"Can't." Radar said as he left.
"He's been hanging around Captain Pierce too long." Klinger muttered, shaking his head.
Radar's wanderings took him around back of the supply room. He took a look at his rabbits, expecting again, and patted his skunk on the head.
"How you guys doin'?" He asked rhetorically.
"Not too good." A woman answered weakly. Radar looked over at his rabbits.
"I'm sorry to hear that Mrs. Sprout. Mrs. Sprout!" He cried, thinking his rabbit had actually spoken to him. A dry chuckle came from behind him in the tall grass.
"Who's there?" Radar asked fearfully, looking back towards his post and safety from disembodied voices.
"Over here." The woman said, and Radar peered into the tall grass, catching a glimpse of red.
He made his way towards her, picking through the rusty parts that lay partially exposed. He reached the woman and knelt by her side. His first thought was of how beautiful she was. She was young, yet, somehow, not as young as she looked. Her subtly flaming hair was nearly brown, but, as the light caught it, streams of auburn and blonde glowed through. Her skin was so fair, he could swear she would be nearly invisible in snow, and, for some reason, the harsh sunlight hadn't darkened it. Her only coloration came from her hair and her incredibly dark eyes. They were as black as the depths; Radar was sucked into the pain he read in them, but slammed against onyx doors when he tried to read further.
"Are you alright, Ma'am?" He asked after a long silence, voice cracking.
"Not really. Is this a MASH?"
"Yes, Ma'am."
"Then will you help me?" She asked, grabbing his shoulder for support as she stood. Radar scrambled to his feet and tried to help her stand. It was then he realized she was hurt and bleeding badly.
"Oh my gosh! You're hurt!" He cried.
"I assume that most people who come here are." She chuckled.
"I'll get you to a doctor right away! Oh, gosh!" She smiled kindly at his flustered reaction.
"I'm sure it looks worse than it is, but thank you for your aide. What is your name?"
"Oh, I'm Corporal Walter O'Reilly, but everybody calls me Radar." He said, shrugging, as he led her towards Pre-Op.
"Oh, everyone does? Well, what would you like me to call you?" She asked. He looked at her in surprise.
"Well, I... I..." He stuttered, unsure how to respond. As they reached the Pre-Op doors, she interrupted his stuttering reply.
"Walter." She gasped. He looked at her in alarm as she paled; something he had thought impossible.
"I don't think I'm going to make it..." She whispered as she passed out and slid to the ground.
"Ma'am? Ma'am, are you alright? Medic! Somebody help!" He cried as he hovered over her unconscious body protectively.
A few hours later, two men stood at the end of her bed as she lay unconscious.
"Does anyone know who she is, Radar?" BJ asked.
"No, Sir. With the silence still on I can't ask anyone else, either. How's she doing? She's going to be okay, right?" Radar asked anxiously.
"She'll be fine, Radar. She's been shot and lost a lot of blood, but we patched her up and she'll be awake soon. For now, I recommend rest."
"Oh, good. I'd hate to see anything happen to her."
"You seem awfully worried about her, Radar. Where did you say you found her?"
"Well, I was bored, so I asked Klinger to relieve me, and then I went by the mess tent, but there wasn't anything to eat but liver, and I don't like liver much, Sir, and so I..." BJ interrupted his monologue.
"Okay, Radar, let's stop there. I think it'd be a good idea to let you tell Hawkeye and I at the same time."
"If you say so, Sir." Radar said, heading towards the exit and catching a final glimpse of the angelic figure on the cot. BJ shook his head and followed.
They woke Hawkeye up from his mid-afternoon nap, and Radar told the whole story.
"... And that's all that happened." Radar concluded. Hawkeye shook himself from his stupor and looked towards BJ for confirmation. BJ motioned towards the door. Pierce nodded.
"Very good, Radar. You can go now."
"Can I go sit with her again, Sir?" He asked anxiously. BJ and Hawkeye exchanged glances, and Pierce nodded. Radar scurried out of the room as Hawkeye stood and poured two drinks.
"What's up, Beej? You look as tense as a one eyed cobra at a mongoose convention." Hawkeye said, handing him a drink.
"There's something strange about this woman."
"Strange as in bad or strange as in interesting?" Hawkeye said, dropping into his chair.
"Bad. The bullet I removed was one of ours."
"So, she got caught by some friendly fire. What's new? There's something else."
"This isn't the first time she's been hurt, Hawkeye. She's got signs of rope burns on both of her wrists, and her ribs have been broken, twice. Both times they set wrong. She's also been nursing this wound on her own. The edges were partially healed and she obviously put on the bandage herself. It's a wonder the whole leg's not infected."
"What are you telling me, Beej?"
"She's been beaten, tortured, and she's on the run."
"On the run from whom?"
"From the bullet and her somniloquesence, I'd say us."
"Us? Us who? The US Army us? Then why would she come here?"
"Maybe she finally realized she needed real help; maybe we were the first place she saw. I don't know. All I know is she speaks Russian in her sleep, and, based on what I remember from my rusty Russian, she's in deep trouble with some high rankers."
"Who is she?"
"No dog tags, no identification whatsoever."
"In other words, no idea."
"Ah, you took the words right out of my mouth." BJ said with a half smile, sipping on his drink as Hawkeye ruminated.
"What do the regs say about things like this?" Pierce asked, overwhelmed. BJ grabbed the regulation book and flipped through it.
"Let's see... Spam. Speakers, Loud. Spies. Ah, there we go. 'Any person or persons without identification shall be considered a spy until proven otherwise. As such, all such persons shall be confined to a secure location and interrogated by commanding officer. In the event of above person/persons confessing to accusation of spying, or never producing any substantiated proof of identity, an officer of the CIA shall be notified and shall come to escort the prisoner to appropriate holding area until trial and punishment commence. If above person/persons attempt escape while in custody of either the commanding officer or the above agent, the officer/agent has permission to stop said person/persons with lethal force.' What a mouthful. So what are you going to do, oh high and mighty commanding officer?"
"A spy. Of all the times for Potter to take a vacation! Three days in charge, and already I'm in trouble. I've got to call the Colonel." Pierce said, reaching for the phone.
"Can't. Radio silence, remember? Something to do with Russians." BJ said, sitting back calmly as he sipped his drink.
"How can you be so calm? What do I do?"
"No idea."
"Well, what would you do if you were in my shoes?"
"I'm not in your shoes. I'm glad, too. They'd never fit."
"How can you joke at a time like this! Oh, no. Did I just say what I thought I did?"
"Yep."
"Ugh. I told him not to leave me in charge. Okay, Doctor. Let's go see your patient." Hawkeye said as he charged out of the room, in a hurry to do whatever it was he was going to do.
As the two men walked towards the woman's cot, her face was blocked by Radar's hovering presence. This gave Pierce ample opportunity to study the figure under the thin hospital sheet. 5' 4" and 36-26-36, if he was any judge of measurements. They reached the end of her bed and Pierce glanced at the clipboard hanging there. The findings were just as Hunnicut had said. He looked up. Cascades of wavy auburn hair framed an opalescent face. Long, dark eyelashes and thick, shapely eyebrows looked almost painted on, while small rose-colored lips pouted unconsciously. Enraptured by her beauty, Pierce's eyes studied every curve, committing it to memory, as if she would fade away like a dream. Her eyes snapped open, their darkness capturing him so completely he forgot how to breathe. His penetratingly azure eyes melded with her ebony orbs, and, even when she broke the connection, he stood transfixed.
"Walter." She whispered, looking over at Radar.
"Yes, Ma'am?"
"Have you stayed with me this whole time?"
"Almost, Ma'am. Except when I had to report to Captain Pierce."
"Thank you, Walter."
"Aw, it wasn't anything."
"How do you feel?" BJ asked, drawing her gaze to him. For a moment, he felt a strange pull towards her, but he looked away and checked the dressing on her leg. Her eyes closed off as she studied him.
"Who, may I ask, is wondering?"
"Oh, excuse me. I'm Doctor Hunnicut, and this is Hawkeye Pierce, also a doctor and our commanding officer." Her eyes widened in surprise at the introduction. BJ raised an eyebrow inquisitively.
"Oh, yes. I seem to be feeling quite well, Doctor. How should I be doing?"
"You'll be fine. I patched up that leg, and in a little while it'll be as good as new."
"You hear that? You can walk again real soon." Radar interrupted, grinning happily.
"Thank you, Doctor. It is much appreciated."
"Well, now that the preliminaries are over, let's get down to business. Who are you?" BJ asked, arms folded.
"What do you mean?" She asked cautiously. Radar patted her hand and smiled.
"He just wants to know your name, Ma'am. We couldn't find an ID for you."
"Ah. Very well. You can call me Aphasia." BJ snickered and even the enraptured Hawkeye looked amused, but Radar looked at them both in confusion.
"What's so funny?"
"It appears to be the perfect name for her. Aphasia is a medical term for losing the ability for speech." BJ told Radar, smirking. Radar looked at her in surprise. She smiled self-depreciatingly.
"I should have known better than to use that name here. Congratulations, Doctors. You're one of the first to comprehend my little joke. Now what?" She asked in her perfect English. BJ and Radar looked to Hawkeye. He shook his head and tried to think clearly.
"Well, since you'll need to be off your feet for a while, and you have to be held in a secure location, you can be our VIP. You'll have the best accommodations in camp."
"A secure location?" Radar asked, confused once again. Aphasia caught his questioning gaze and attempted to explain.
"They think I'm a spy, Radar. So, they must keep me confined. It is regulations. Correct, Captain Hunnicut?" She said, turning to pin him with her twin lasers. Feeling like a deer in the headlights, BJ could only nod guiltily. She swung her feet off the bed and attempted to stand. As soon as she put weight on her injured leg, a spasm of pain shot through her. Her only visible indication was a hand stretched towards Radar.
"If you would be so kind as to help me to my tent?" She asked regally, the tightness in her voice a testament to the waves of agony radiating from her leg.
"Oh, sure! Let me help you." Radar said, running to her side. Hawkeye and BJ watched as Aphasia and Radar limped towards the VIP tent.
The sun had set, and Hawkeye's responsibilities at the hospital had faded to the occasional check of vitals. He could avoid his duties no longer. With BJ's gentle persuasion, he walked to the VIP tent like a man on death row. He wasn't Army. What was he doing? Interrogate that beautiful creature? He could barely bring himself to speak in her presence. He hadn't had a reaction to a woman like this since Her. He remembered what had happened to that. He had no wish to repeat his mistake, no wish to have another woman haunt his thoughts, poisoning every relationship he tried to begin. He steeled himself to handle this situation with military precision.
Entering the VIP tent with barely a knock, Hawkeye dismissed Radar. Radar started to argue, but a cold look from Pierce and an affirming nod from Aphasia sent him on his way. When they were finally alone, Pierce flipped around the chair Radar had been sitting in and leaned his arms on the backrest. Aphasia swung her feet over the edge of the bed to face him.
"So, it begins." She said.
"Been through this before, have you?"
"More times than you could know. Name, rank and serial number?" She asked with a sad smile. Hawkeye didn't react.
"Yes."
"My name is Aphasia, no rank, no number."
"Your real name, rank, and serial number, please."
"I concede that Aphasia is merely a nickname, but, then, I doubt Hawkeye is your real name. Last of the Mohicans?" Hawkeye looked up in surprise.
"You've read it?"
"Of course, but you're avoiding the question. What shall I call you? I doubt you like Captain any more than I do."
"If you must know, my name is Benjamin Franklin Pierce, of the Maine Pierce's. Hawkeye is a nickname my father gave me."
"And everyone calls you by this name, correct?"
"Yes. But hold on! Who's interrogating who?"
"I apologize, please continue."
"Name, rank and serial number."
"Benjamin Franklin, a very interesting man. I once read that he had dozens of mistresses. I have a feeling you take after him in that manner."
"Answer the question."
"I have. I respectfully refuse to tell you any more." He rose from his chair to pace in front of her.
"Look, I'm new at this, so will you help me out? Can you tell me something?"
"I can tell you nothing." She looked down and twisted her hands. He stopped as he saw her wipe at her eyes.
"What's wrong?" He asked, kneeling in front of her. She looked up, eyes glistening.
"You are new at this, and I am sad. I had hoped to stay here for a little while, but, because you are inexperienced and I am unable to tell you anything, they will come again."
"They?"
"The CIA. I have escaped from them once. I will not have the good fortune to do so again."
"Are they the ones that hurt you?" He asked, holding her wrist. She pulled away, a little too quickly to be casual.
"Yes."
"It doesn't matter who you are, they can't do that." He shook his head angrily.
"That is why I ran. I don't know where I was going. I just ran. I was hurt and I saw the red cross on your building. I was going to steal some penicillin, maybe some bandages. Then I saw Walter. He was kind to his animals, soft spoken. I felt I could trust him. Besides, the lock on the supply room is really hard to pick." She said with an ironic smile. His smile matched hers.
One of his eyes was covered by an errant lock of raven hair, and she brushed her fingers across his forehead to tuck it back. The touch was electric. He leaned forward, into her hand, and their lips met. He had kissed a great many girls, but none matched this. It was like they were one; forming and melding, melting into, through, and beyond each other. Both of their eyes were closed, but somehow they could see.
She leaned back onto the bed and he followed, their kiss deepening. He wrapped his arms around her, pressing her close. He slid one arm around, reaching for the buttons on her shirt, and brushed against her ribs. She cried and jerked back, falling off the bed and backing into the corner. She hugged herself and tucked her head down, protecting her chest and face. Hawkeye sat on the bed for a moment in shock. He felt as if half of him had just been ripped away, and he didn't understand why. Rising from the bed, he walked towards her. He bent over her and touched her shoulder. She winced and tucked tighter into herself.
"Aphasia, it's okay. I'm not going to hurt you."
"You think you're smart?" She rasped bitterly, hiding her face.
"Huh?"
"You're not the first to try that trick. I didn't fall for it the first time; I won't fall for it now."
"Trick? Aphasia, it wasn't a trick. I didn't mean for it to happen."
"Sure."
"Really. Look, I understand how you could think... But I'll prove it to you. If you didn't feel anything, you tell me and I'll leave. I'll get someone else to talk to you. Maybe one of the nurses. I'm not going to hurt you."
"Leave." She said coldly. Hawkeye pulled back, stunned. He couldn't believe she hadn't felt any of that. Crushed, he started towards the exit, head hanging. He stopped at the door, fighting the impulse to look back. He pushed the door open and stepped out.
"Ben." She said firmly. He turned. She stood in the corner, arms wrapped around herself.
"Yes?"
"I lied."
He stepped back in and let the door swing shut behind him.