Yay! 5 new reviews. I'm in review heaven. insane smile on face
Christipotter I accept your congratulations. Thankee!
wildimagination -sheepish grin- thanks!
Ministry of Tragic In this fic, all the characters except for the original Harry Potter ones know him as Horny. lol thanks!
BeaQue nah, it wasn't crap. Yes, and Ron does kill him. Thanks a buch :D
elephantsrocmysox yup thanks! And I will. Keep updating, I mean.
Disclaimer: yeah, yeah, get on with the story.
Ron stood triumphant on top of Draco's motionless, dead body. He held a smashed chainsaw in one hand, a bloody wand in the other.
The students gathered around him by the thousands.
They loved him.
They needed him.
They would do whatever he did.
This was a very dangerous situation.
And what does Ron go and do?
He raises his arm forward.
Sticks a fake cowhair toothbrush mustache on his upper lip.
Barks, "Heil Hitler!"
Harry, meanwhile, was unaware of the terrible, terrible danger Hogwarts was in, perhaps because he was quite unblamably concerned with other things.
He could see a sign right in front of him. It said, THE SHIRE.
He saw a figure come towards him. It wasn't tall. It came up to his waist.
"Um…sir?" said the figure, and I don't need to describe him because you probably already know who he is…
"Frodo?" said Harry.
"Sir! How did you know my name?" said Frodo, jumping and looking very suspiciously at Harry.
"I just do." Said Harry. "Actually, everyone back in the Muggle world probably does! At least half the world must've seen the movie the Lord of the Rings!"
"Huh?" said Frodo.
"For example." Said Harry. "I know that your uncle's called Bilbo, your closest friend is Sam, the two annoying hobbits that act just like Fred and George-"
Frodo went pale.
"-are called Merry and Pippin, and you went on a fantastic epic adventure with them and Gandalf the wizard to stop Sauron-"
Frodo went even paler.
"-Lord of the Rings, with Aragorn. Legolas, Gimli, etc. etc-ooh, I can't remember any more-"
Frodo fainted.
The first thing that Ron had done when he became Headmaster of New Nazi Hogwarts was make all the muggle-borns and half-muggle people jump off a cliff, because Ron was the supreme divine holy incarnation of Hitler, and people loved him.
A/N: that was mean. But I wanted to do something to demonstrate how evil the OOC Ron had become, so…couldn't help it!
The next thing he'd done was burn down half of the Hogwarts library. Oh, how Hermione'd wept.
The third thing he'd done was admit a danci-
"Sir!" Crabbe stepped inside the room and saluted. "An army of sheep are approaching the castle! We must surrender!"
Ron whirled around and shot Crabbe. BANG.
"Never say surrender, Corporal. You knew that." He said coldly to Crabbe's death stare.
Then he looked out the window. Sheep were advancing from every direction possible. They had machine guns, tanks, regular bombs, weapons of mass destruction, cherry bombs, grenades, mustard gas, chlorine, phosgene, sarin, hydrogen cyanide, anthrax, guided missiles, napalm, VX, tabun, soman, lewisite, tear gas, GF, tomahawks, camping axes, throwing knives, spears, pizza cutters, machetes, bows and arrows, laser guns, lightsabres, pepper sprays, agent 15, phosgene oxmine, arsine, Novichok agents, fighter airplanes, cannons, and of course good old (BOOM) dynamite.
Sheep believe in the Boy Scout Motto.
Hordes and hordes moved on. The sheep had angry expressions on their normally placid faces. Their scratchy wool bristled with hate. Their tails switched back and forth.
Ron stared in horror as the beautiful rolling green hills that were the landscape of Hogwarts were covered in mounds of sheep shit.
Ew…
Ron ran to his desk and grabbed his emergency survival plan, a huge white flag. He threw it out the window.
"I surrender!" he shouted.
Hundreds of thousands of sheep were unanimous in their bleating.
One sheep got drunk and jumped over a cliff.
Then all the sheep ran away and jumped over a cliff.
A fisherman on the sea was unsticking from his net his latest catch when he heard an ominous ga-dump ga-dump ga-dump ga-dump.
He looked over his head to see something that he would later tell his ugly grandchildren.
Sheep were flying from the cliff in huge masses.
They were bleating happily. They had expressions of unholy bliss on their plain sheepish faces.
Splash.
Splash.
Splash.
The fisherman stood from a safe distance until all the happy suicidal sheep had disappeared into the sea's murky depths. Then he went home.
I have a bad feeling this chapter wasn't really that funny.
Reviewers, reassure me!
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Heya! I have this new fic here, it's called Carmen, it's a horror story, PLEASE check it out and tell me if I should keep on writing horror or not.
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And flamers, reassure me!...or maybe not reassure…maybe it should be unassure…ah well, got to keep up the traditions…
Love,
-Sammi