A/N: Hiya! Now - let us get this straight, I take NO credit for this chapter! This chapter was written for us by Andrea, who's character is indeed the lovely Jess Stanford. We shall meet the two newest additions to the morgue in the following chapter!
The case is delved more into next chapter so never fear!
Feedback is MUCH appreciated, obviously:D
Chapter 3: Jokes & Fights
"Slow down." Bug said to Nigel. "We have a couple of ladies here so we have to act like gentlemen, you stupid. Coffee?"
"Ah…"Nigel said "Funny, very funny, love." he whispered.
"Thanks. A cappuccino, please, without sugar." Caroline said smiling at Bug's comments.
"So this is the gentleman here…no other one" Jess said, smiled malicious to Nigel "Black, strong and no sugar. Thanks."
Bug left Garret office to make the coffees with Nigel and left there Lily with the two girls.
"So…Let me introduce myself. "she said smiling "I'm Lily Lebowski. Nice to meet you girls" She took Jess hand and shook it, and then repeat the gets with Caroline and stepped back." I'm a grief counselor for this morgue." Lily said at the same time the she was looking for a chair.
"A grief counselor? This is the first time I ever hear that. What exactly does a grief counselor do?" Caroline asked.
"Yeah, tell us." Jess said nodding.
"Well... a grief counselor is someone supposed to help you deal with the loss of a beloved one. I help with notifications and listen to people whenever they need."
"That sounds interesting. Is like a shrink…but for death people….kinda like that." Jess said laughter.
Caroline laughed too. But Lily got serious.
"Oh, Sorry I hope you won't be angry" Jess said "I make jokes all the time…is like a bad habit." she said like a little kid "I know you must help a lot of people who lost some one they love….I think the every morgue should have a grief counselor."
I don't know she is talking in serious or is still play with my…Lily thought….I can believe the she is M.E, definitely she don't look like one.
"Are you ok?" Jess asked
"Yeah, of course." Lily said surprise
"Really?" Jess questioned with a suspicion look "Can I guess? You are trying to decide if I'm a M.E or not, aren't you?"
Lily just opened her mouth and forgot all about good manners "How…?"
Caroline can stop the laughs this time "Oh god, who are you? A witch? Do you have a crystal ball hidden in your purse or what? That is creepy!" she asked smiling funny.
"Easy there, girl." Jess said smiling and touching gently Caroline's shoulder, "Nothing like that, just… for curse or bless…an exceptional sixth sense."
"Wow! I have to take about that then…Jordan is going to hate or love you!" Lily said laughing.
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"What is so funny, ladies?" Nigel asked when he and Bug returned with the coffees "It seems the you are getting along pretty well. That is great! Ok, so this is for…"
"Jess, I think?" Bug said, winning to Nigel the cup of coffee.
"Yes, thanks. Bug, right?" Jess smiled.
"Gee, thanks Bug." Nigel said with little sarcasm "This is for you, love."
"Thank you." Caroline said looking amused the little boys contest.
"Come on guys!" Lily said "So now your turn, girls."
"This is not going to be easy!" Jess said with mysterious look.
"Ok, I'll start." Caroline made a very funny salute with her hands and said, "Hello every one, my name is Caroline Ellen Maher and I grew up here in Boston. I studied and worked in San Francisco for a while and moved back a few months ago. What else? Mmm…everyone thought the I was crazy when she decided to become a medical examiner. My mom almost died with that, but it was the right thing to do, wasn't it?" she smiled. "I really can't complaint, I choose this as my life…..but sometimes I think , the maybe I don't make so much many, maybe if I was study advertising or writing children's books….she said laugh…my family would be more happy, because of the many of course. …That is I think…kinda boring…probably Jess would have a more spectacular life!
Definitely! I was a stripper!...Jess said.
Four opens mouths told Jess the she really made an impression in her auditory.
"Come one guys!" Jess said amused "You really believe that! Of course not, Please! My father would send to my back to India in a missile. After killing me my couple of times…" she said laughing.
"That's what I thought." Bug said relieves "Parents in India really don't….anyway ….In which part of India were you born?"
"Don't you think the she is kinda…light?" Lily whispered to Nigel.
"I don't, love, it look like she is just playing with us….but she seems to be a little superficial." Nigel said that, when Bug started to make questions to Jess about his life in India.
"But then, you real name is not Jess, right?" Bug asked.
"Well …..no…I'm just going to say it once and never again. So, after that, you'll pretend I never told you." Jess said transforming her joke face in a very serious face woman, the M.E the she was. Nigel looks at her and whisper to Lily "No, love, she is not superficial at all."
"Come girl! It can't be that bad." Caroline said trying to push her.
Jess looked to her whit a face saying, "yes it is"…but finally she sighs and said "It's Jessminder. Ok, I said it….now erase that from your minds." She said that, given to them, like an order.
Ok, So… Caroline said try to not laugh and little perplexed for the real name "How did you end up as ME?"
"Actually, I've never wanted to be one." Jess answered.
"Then why are you here?" Nigel asked surprised.
"Because the first ME I met was really cute." Jess stated with a seductive expression.
"Damn! I wanna meet him." Caroline laughed.
Nigel and Bug looked at each other a little disappointed.
"Me too." Lily agreed laughing as well.
"Well, ladies, I can actually introduce you to other kind of man. Actually, lots of them." Jess told them.
"And how is that?" Caroline questioned.
"Because I was on USMC." Jess answered simply.
Another shock. Four jaws dropped. Marines? Jess? No way! They thought.
"Excuse me, when you said USMC did you mean the United States Marine Corps?" Lily asked in shock.
"Yep." Jess nodded "Believe it or not, the Marines were my first choice. I was a First Lieutenant. … Don't worry; I won't use my military training to kick your butts. For now." She winked an eye at her auditorium. "Well, like I was saying, my career was pretty much over when I got hurt during an exercise. I had two options: military law or forensic criminology. Since my brother is a lawyer, I thought it wouldn't be very exclusive." Jess smiled "So I specialized in toxicology. I can't complain, you know. I work with dead people and they tend to be less annoying than living ones."
They all tried really hard not to laugh. It was one of those cruel, but true comments. But the little sarcasm on Jess's voice got them all laughing.
"What's going on here? I thought people were grieving here. Show a little respect, guys!" Woody walked into Macy's office.
"Come on, Woodrow. Give us a break." Nigel said with tears in his eyes.
The detective looked around and saw the new girls. "Oh, sorry. I'm Detective Hoyt, but you can call me Woody." He greeted them.
"Jess."
"Caroline."
The two ME greeted him back introducing themselves.
Jess took her jacket off. Her clothes were on the latest style and she looked more like a fashion business woman than a ME.
"This serial killer brought some good stuff after all. Isn't she spectacular?" Nigel whispered to Woody.
"Well, yeah…" the detective agreed a little embarrassed.
"Don't worry, mate. Jordan isn't here." Nigel teased "And Caroline is beautiful too. Aren't we lucky?" he tried to hide the grin.
"What are you two whispering?" Lily raised an eyebrow maliciously once she caught Nigel and Woody totally off-guard.
"Us?" Nigel asked cynically "Nothing."
Although Nigel was a good liar, Woody's blushing gave them away. That Farm Boy could never play poker like that…
"You're checking the new girls out." Jess mocked with a malicious/seductive smile "Evil boys. You two look like teenagers."
"Ok. Touché!" Nigel chuckled as well "Oh, come on, Woodrow! Where's your sense of humor?"
The girls laughed...
"Does anyone wants to tell me what's so funny?" they heard a serious voice behind them.
All eyes turned to the door and spotted a not happy FBI Agent Charlotte Fox. Her icy look could make the Sahara cold at noon.
Holly shit! Was the first and only thing to cross Woody's mind.
"You!" Foxie stared Woody. If there was any doubt that woman could freeze Sahara with her grayish-blue eyes, now they were all sure. Well, Woody was also sure he'd be with a tag on his toe very, very soon.
"Hello, Agent Fox." Nigel interrupted trying to make the situation a little less uncomfortable. "New bodies?"
"Just mine, I guess" Woody's mind said.
"What the hell are you doing here?" Foxie asked angrily. She couldn't remember why she walked into Macy's office in the first place, but she knew where she was going next. Trial, for, at least, excess of force. Maybe murder. She couldn't believe that with so many people on Earth she had to meet him.
"Gee, someone needs a Prozac." Jess noticed sarcastically.
Jaws dropped, faces were pale and eyes were wide.
"This is gonna be World War III" Bug thought.
"Get your shields, people!" Nigel and Caroline swallowed hard.
"Now there's gonna be two bodies. It was nice to meet her" Woody thought.
Why I have to do, run or wait!...Lily think worried…Oh this is bad!
Foxie and Jess stared at each other. The agent's eyes were on fire and Jess looked like a kid yelling at her mother that nothing would change her opinion.
"That's great. The jerkiest ex-boyfriend ever and Miss Smart-Ass are gonna be part of the team. Wow! That makes living with the General sounds like heaven". Foxie rolled her eyes. "I'll take care of you later." She pointed Jess with her eyes "Detective?" Foxie's eyes went back to Woody.
"Is there something going on here?" Garret entered his office.
"Thank God!" Nigel, Bug, Lily and Caroline let out a relieved sigh.
"We were just getting to know the new MEs." Lily said quickly "I have some paperwork waiting." she pointed over her shoulder "It was great to meet you." The grief counselor smiled and waved good-bye exiting the room.
"I have some tests to run." Nigel said a bit nervous "Care to help me, mate?" he looked at Bug.
"Sure." Bug nodded "See you ladies around." He smiled and left as quickly as possible followed by the tall Brit.
"Excuse me, Dr. Macy. I need to talk to Det. Hoyt." Foxie said almost able to hide her anger "Good luck on the new job, doctors." She looked over the young woman. "You might need it, Miss Smart-Ass".
"Way to go, Jess." Caroline whispered "You almost got us killed on our first day."
"It's only an unhappy woman." Jess whispered back acidly "With a terrible carrot hair and in need of some make-up" she added…"After all, I have nothing to worry about it, I'm Marine and I could kill her just using one hand" she said with a malicious expression.
Caroline chuckled quietly "Do you ever take anything seriously?"
"Occasionally." Jess smiled innocently.
"Dr. Standford, Dr. Maher, welcome to the morgue. I'm Dr. Macy, the chief ME. Would you give me your references?
Jess and Caroline smiled after exchanging a quick look and handed him the references.
Meanwhile, a very unhappy Woody could only think of one sentence: there's no power in hell like the fury of an angry woman.