"Gentleness, self-sacrifice and generosity are the exclusive possession of no one race or religion." - Mahatma Gandhi
"A man's character is his fate." - Heraclitus
Chapter Four – Countdown
Commissary.
After that humiliating episode in the Gate room almost an hour ago, I ended up in the base commissary. Well, I didn't immediately headed straight there but it was my third and final stop before meeting my doom down level 27, feeling very much like a convict having his last meal before being hanged.
But food was the last thing on my mind so I made a beeline for the coffee dispenser station instead. I hugged my steaming mug of very strong decaf close to my person like a mother hen protecting her egg. I detested the thing, by the way, but I needed something very strong to help still my jangled nerves. At least, just long enough to get me through the upcoming debriefing which was a few minutes from now.
There were only about six people in the commissary that morning, besides the cook and his helper, and I was the only one sitting alone and far away from the rest. I glanced their way, checking out if one of them I recognized as one of a dozen or so people who was anywhere near the Gate room when it happened. But even if they weren't there I knew, without doubt, that they'd already heard it from someone who did.
Funny how the mind work. They'd retain, in vivid quality, things you'd rather not remember at all.
SG-13 left yesterday and Noel didn't drop by to see me, just as I had predicted, owing to the fact that we had a disagreement the previous day. I wasn't bitter about it nor resented him for it. It's just the way how things were done. We pissed each other off so we gave one another a wide berth to cool off and clear our heads. In our particular case, it's millions of light-years apart.
With Noel gone off world, I spent the day searching for Jonas Quinn – covertly if possible – to once again apologize for my friend's behavior. Looking for him turned out to be a daunting task. It would seem that the Kelownan had this uncanny ability to make himself scarce. I tried hanging out at the places they said he frequented but no such luck. Either he already left or was never there.
No one seemed to have gotten whiff of the hallway incident involving Jonas, Noel and I. Whatever were his reasons, I wanted to thank Noel for it so I was really hoping he'd turn up for me to say it but he never did.
Morning found me standing apprehensively before the circled behemoth. I could still hear the mournful sound of the Gate klaxon as the iris covered the open wormhole while the Gate operators waited for an IDC to be transmitted. No defense units were called into the Gate room as it was a scheduled activation so I was there, all alone, waiting for the general to join me as soon as he descended from 27.
SG-2 was finally coming home. I learned of it just a few minutes ago.
What I felt at that moment, I wasn't sure, but I could definitely remember standing there trying to think of a way to greet them flippantly but my mind was a solid blank wall. My face was looking straight at the Gate but I really wasn't staring at it, lost in my own thoughts.
I was glad SG-2 was returning after ten days of staying at P1C-586 but another part of me saw my world quickly coming to an end. I drew a ragged breath and released it slowly, feeling some of the tension leaving my system only to have it returned tenfold. As seconds ticked by, my being a member of SG-2 was dwindling fast. The inevitable was coming and there was no helping it. In a few seconds, I'd be coming face to face with Major Ferretti.
Footsteps to my right heralded Gen. Hammond's entrance at the Gate room. We nodded at each other as he closed the distance between us. It turned out that Maj. Ferretti had called in yesterday to inform the general about their return today and requested that the information be withheld from me for the time being.
Now, why was that? I wondered.
I wanted so much to inquire about the talks SG-2 was trying to reestablish with Michen and his people but held my tongue. Instead, I respectfully retreated a step of two behind the base commander and that got me a questioning look from him but pretended not to notice as I focused my attention back to the Stargate.
The people at the control room must've finally received a confirmation from SG-2 because the trinium-made iris contracted to reveal the shimmering wormhole behind it. I steeled my nerves and gritted my teeth. My heart was thumping furiously against my ribcage as my good hand clutched the fisted one on the sling, both clammy, as my mind screamed Ohgodohgodohgod…!
Our philologist, Jim Grant, appeared first. He greeted the general with a weary but self-satisfied smile. My teammate looked at me and nodded. I returned the gesture with a nod of my own and a tight smile upon my lips. Inside I felt little relief with the exchange. I could not discern his features at all.
Lt. Brendan Griffith and Maj. Louis Ferretti exited the wormhole together conversing. Whatever it was got Brendan smiling. How much I wanted to be in his boots right now. I quickly stood in attention.
Upon reaching us, the major greeted Gen. Hammond heartily and inquired about the older man's health. The general answered with an easy smile on his lips. He was glad they were back and, of course, debriefing would be in one hour. Having said his usual welcome back line, the general extricated himself from us and left to attend to other things before debrief.
Leaving the four of us, SG-2, alone in the Gate room. No, I stand corrected, three members and one would-be-ex-member of SG-2.
I groped for something cheery to say to break the ice but nothing came. There appeared to be a huge lump stuck in my throat and the only thing I could manage was to try and breathe evenly before them which was very hard. Funny, I've been separated from them for only ten days and I am finding myself having a hard time starting the most simplest of conversations. I admit I was ill at ease with them.
My CO definitely noticed it. He coolly regarded me for the very first time since arriving and I found myself unable to look at him straight in the eye so I focused my attention on the collar of his military-issued dark green jacket instead. We all stood there silently for a few seconds and I could feel three pairs of eyes looking at me. I think they knew what was running through my head that very moment.
Next thing I knew, Maj. Ferretti turned away to herd our teammates into the direction of the infirmary, leaving me standing there. Alone.
I think I got my answer.
I had a prior appointment at the infirmary but Dr. Fraiser wasn't there. After that I was planning on spending the remainder of the time left in my quarters and just read. Noel had included a few books from my apartment he knew I'd like when he collected some personal items of mine all those days ago. Collecting a wide variety of books was a hobby I had inherited from my mother's younger sister.
Second of three daughters of my maternal grandparents, everyone thought her a bit eccentric. Her insatiable quest for knowledge, her love of books and the size of her collection simply was beyond them. But not to me. I thought highly of this particular aunt of mine. She was my very first teacher. She had said again and again to never stop dreaming even if we were old and wrinkly. To see the good in everyone and give those who needed to be given a second chance. She thought me that everything was possible as long as one puts their mind into it. And most of all, she thought me that when everything else failed, that I should listen to my heart for it would never lead me astray.
I did that on '586 but it only got me into trouble. So there I was, the table all to myself, brooding in general as I stared down at my cup of very strong decaf.
I allowed my mind to travel back in time, on the day I had decided to play the hero on a planet whose rules were very much different from ours.
SG-8 had discovered large deposits of raw trinium on P2A-586 and Gen. Hammond wanted Maj. Ferretti to handle the negotiations with Michen, the leader of the village that was situated close to the site Earth wanted to mine. As it so happened, their village was heavily devastated by a storm two days before and there were still a number of their people missing. Stargate Command was more than happy to help them which Michen gladly accepted.
Three more SG teams were sent to help in the search and rescue efforts. We were all provided with basic equipment necessary to carry out rescue operations and each had additional first aid kits. A guide was provided for each team. Under Maj. Ferretti's leadership, we set out at the last known locations of those reported missing. In SG-2's case, we headed out due north in the outskirts of the village where a handful of families were residing to herd them safely back into the village. The major decided for SG-2 to spread out in order to cover more ground faster.
I happened to stumble upon a path that led into a wide clearing. The thunderous sound of rushing water led me there, coming from somewhere behind the tree line some twenty yards ahead. I was about to turn back when I heard a shout from that direction.
A man and a woman burst through the tree line, running like the hound of hell was after them. They kept calling out for me to help them as they ran. From their stricken faces, I thought something was indeed after them and focused my sights past them and back to the forest. I dug my heels on the soft, wet ground – ready to execute a shooting stance if necessary while my hands were busy readying my P-90 for some action.
The young couple reached me safely and it was only then that I understood what they were yelling me for help for. Their son fell over a ravine and had been trapped there for sometime before the parents discovered his dangerous predicament.
I quickly followed them back to the forest, interviewing the parents as we went. From what I could gather, they were about to leave their home to temporary reside with the man's parents in the village, seeing the danger the river posed on their lives. It had rapidly overflowed on the second night of the storm but miraculously never reached their home. The man, Iba, wouldn't want to gamble the lives of his wife and child so they decided to stay at the village for the time being.
Their son, Ayen, was fond of the river and would often play there with his friends. He probably thought it was safe to go there and snuck out when his parents were busy packing for their journey. He must've had lost his footing and slipped. At this point, tears ran freely down Denya, Ayen's mother's eyes but she was able to keep up with Iba and I.
The river was roughly forty feet below and more than a kilometer wide. Iba informed me that the river's normal water level was around a hundred and twenty feet below the ravine and only half a kilometer across. As we approached the edge of the ravine, the angry sound of the churning chocolate-colored water was deafening and I definitely felt the ground trembled beneath my feet. I cautiously took a peek below.
I saw a sandy-colored head amidst the dark browns and grays and blacks. His hair was mottled with dirt and there were small twigs and other objects sticking out of it. The child Ayen must've fallen feet first and would've certainly been carried away by the dark, murky waters below if not for the tree that jutted on the cliff wall thirty-feet down. His small arms hugged the base of the thick Y-shaped branch that got him wedged snuggly in between its two smaller branches.
I yelled his name at the top of my lungs three times before I got a response. Wide, frightened blue eyes, the color of clear skies, looked up at me. His hair was plastered on his head and there were scratches on his terrified young face. He appeared to be bone-tired and shaking from prolonged exposure to the cold weather but cognizant, although, the boy never said anything. He just continued staring up at the stranger who kept on shouting for him to hold on. I quickly radioed my team regarding the situation and was ordered by my CO to not do anything until they arrived.
I had every intention of staying put but things turned for the worst in seconds. The water alarmingly rose a few feet more reaching up to Ayen's knee before mysteriously stopping in that level. A few moments more, a strong current nearly dislodged the kid from his place and if not for Ayen's presence of mind, he would've been swept away even before help arrived.
I knew that the kid wouldn't last long. He had been clinging for dear life for a while now and he was exhibiting signs of exhaustion.
His father was pleading and his mother was crying. Maj. Ferretti told me to stay put but my aunt's advice echoed in my mind.
Ah, hell, were the words I remembered uttering as I took off my gear and reached for the rope.
"Good morning, lieutenant," a female voice cheerfully greeted to my right. "Mind of I join you?"
I blinked once, seeing that I was transported back to the commissary with my mug of decaf comfortably warming my hands. I looked up to see who it was and immediately jumped out of my chair. "Not at all, ma'am," I said and watched her put her tray on the table across from me. There was a cup of coffee and two slices of pie on it.
"Relax, Aidan," Dr. Fraiser chided as she sat. "I'm not wielding any needles."
I smiled despite of myself. And before I knew it, the chief medical officer placed the biggest slice of pie she had right in front of me. I began to protest.
"Eat," she said sternly, "doctor's orders." But her smile removed the sting of her words.
Although I really wasn't hungry, I did as told mainly to please her. I wouldn't dream of angering this woman. I even heard that she was one of only two people in Stargate Command Col. O'Neill wouldn't want to cross intentionally or otherwise. She watched me carefully as I placed a piece of pie in my mouth and was only satisfied after I swallowed my fourth spoonful before she began eating. We ate in companionable silence for a while and I was contented with that.
"So, what have you decided?" she silently asked after a while.
I looked up from my plate at her confused.
"About Jonas Quinn,"
I stiffened. Suddenly conscious of our surroundings, seeing if there was anyone within earshot of us.
She quickly sensed my reaction. "Suddenly got cold feet?"
The way Dr. Fraiser said it, implied what I thought was hostility towards me and immediately straightened it out. "It's not like that, doctor." I said quickly, wanting to assure her that her trust wasn't misplaced as she continued to regard me dubiously. I looked at her straight in the eyes. "It's just that the timing sucks. I have something I needed to see through first."
"Maj. Ferretti," she said it without preamble.
I nodded. The apparent bad blood between my CO and I was no secret. I knew, in time, everyone at the base would eventually find out about it. I shoved another piece of pie in my mouth to refrain from answering verbally because, frankly, I didn't want to talk about it.
"Well, if it's any consolation," – the medical chief pushed her empty plate aside to cross both arms on the table in front of her before leaning forward a bit – "he inquired about you."
My brows went sky high at that revelation.
Dr. Fraiser laughed softly. "Why look so surprised, lieutenant? Maj. Ferretti isn't as cold-hearted as he seems. He just follows after his commanding officer. He's a good guy beneath all that tough exterior."
"I know that, Dr. Fraiser," I said.
"He's been checking in on you from time to time while they were off world. And just a while ago, he kept asking about your condition during their post-mission examination."
I must've leaned forward. "And?"
"Told him the truth. That you are still unfit for off world missions but you're on your way to recovery."
That's all? I thought as I continued to look at her. But all I got from her was a smile.
She then looked at her watch and said, "Well, I'd better go. Rounds to do," and stood up.
I silently followed her out of the commissary. I knew that I wouldn't be here for long so I wanted to work up the courage to tell the petite doctor how grateful I was for her friendship, however short-lived it was, while I still had the chance. But just as I was about to, she suddenly turned to look at me.
"Oh, one more thing. I heard you had quite a collection of books in your possession. You might want to share them around." She directed another smile at me before disappearing around a corner.
I frowned after her. What's she talking about?
"Lt. Edrald to the briefing room… . Aidan Edrald to the briefingrRoom."
It felt like a bucket of ice cold water was unceremoniously dumped over my head after hearing the summons I had been dreading for the past hour now. I drew a long, ragged breath, held it for a few seconds before releasing it slowly. With measured steps, I marched at the direction of the elevators. This was it.
The hour of judgment was finally at hand.