Yay! Reviews!

Buffy the Mary Sue Slayer I pity your children. No false gangstas at my school, thank God, but quite a few of them are Snoop Dogg wannabes, which is basically the same thing? Anyway McDonalds is evil, but their French Fries are wonderful. :)

galleena whoopee thanks!

Ministry of Tragic hooray for happy-family-mcdonalds-outing-terrorists! But not actual terrorists. Actual terrorists are nasty and should be sent to my French class, which is one of the many equivalents of hell.

KillerBunnYslippers ew. Harry fried chicken? Who would eat that? -imagination goes crazy- About my wallet…it doesn't have any money in it so ha! Your birthday's July 22nd? Sweet. Mine's tomorrow. May 5th! HOORAY! Three cheers for me.

The Miss Marauders isn't that so weird? Thanks!

inuxkagfan yay review! Thanks XP

Christipotter aww. Are you ok? Your hip I mean. I feel responsible, which is why I'm checking. See? I'm a nice person.

Mrs. Radcliffe 13 -smile- thanks!

elephantsrocmysox YAY! I'm an awesome person. Good luck on the monk of the wooden cowboy plains thing.

HumorLuvinGurl reincarnation is real! -does hooray-for-reincarnation dance-

Batamanda -smug smile- I love being worshipped.

xBeautifulLetdownx I love how you manage to remember the minor characters and then remake them into a plot, 'cos I always manage to forget them. Thanks!

RoxyLeo BEAVER POWER! Remind me about the pony cult and the astronomy tower idea, I'm going to use them in the next chapter because they rock. :D

Credit for the chapter idea goes to xBeautifulLetdownx. Applause!
The Evil Happy Meal toys were busy cruel and unnecessary experiments on Neville's toad when scary music suddenly played in the background.

DA-DA-DUM!

The canon HP characters were back from the dead with the help of supaspeshul!Powers, which of course includes the ability to escape from the clutches of morality. Muahahahahaha.

The Evil Happy Meal toys backed up against the wall. The canon HP characters advanced up to them in an evil way.

But suddenly the Evil Happy Meal toys gained the supaspeshul!Powers that the canon characters had for no apparent reason, and they were just about to win when…

(scary background music)

DA-DA-DUM!

The chicken-bee children, the offspring of Harry and Ginny, were back from the stomachs of the man-eating sheep! They had the little green men on the moon for their slaves, and they devoured the Evil Happy Meal Toys.

Just because.

Then all the HP characters broke into McDonalds, ate fast food for a year, and got very fat. Except for Draco, who is of course the Sex God of the HP world and cannot get fat.

So Draco, who is evil, used the other characters' fatness to rule the world, never mind how, and everyone was happy until LIPOSUCTION! came along.

So everyone got thin again and murdered Draco, and put his head on a stick and paraded it around the world, because that's what freedom fighters are SUPPOSED to do after they've murdered the Grand High Evil Bastard that they were fighting against. Duh.

So everything was back to normal, or as normal as the Fanfiction world can be, which actually isn't that normal, but hell, who cares.

MILDLY SANE BIT

One day Ron borrowed a video from the local video rental store and brought it back home.

"What's that?" said Harry.

"It's an exciting video."

"Oh." said Harry, who knew Ron very well and so did not need to ask him in what way the video was exciting.

Ginny walked into the room. "Is that porn?" she said, pointing to the video.

"Yeah." said Ron, and popped it into the video player.

A commentator's voice could be heard. You know the commentator from the beginning of the 2005 movie of Charlie and the Chocolate Factory? Yeah, it was like that.

"Our company provides its clients with the best bottles in the world…"

"Huh?" said Ron.

A picture of plastic bottles being made on a conveyor belt came onto the screen.

"This is the conveyor belt on which the latest Duo Plastic Laminator Machines are used…"

"This is your idea of exciting?"

"No! I asked the video cashier person which video he thought was the most racy and obscene, and-"

"Who was the video cashier person?"

"Dobby."

There was a silence, and the two watched the video in silence for the next 15 minutes.

"Our factory makes plastic bottles 24 hours a day, every day, except for Christmas and Midsummer's Eve…"

"So Dobby's idea of a good porn movie is a plastic bottle factory advert video?"

"Guess so."

Ron switched the TV to television.

Marigold ran into the room. "Yo mamma be da hottest pussy in da motherfucking world, yo!"

"That doesn't make sense." Ron told him.

"So?" said Marigold. "Me rhymes be da haWACK yo, dis beeyotches of dis motherfucking country be bling-bling up deyre money fo dis shizzle gangsta yo!"

"What? You've got an album out?" said Harry.

Winky walked into the room, squeaked, "I need a curly perm!" and walked back out.

Hermione walked in. "lyk, DUH, course he duz, cuz lyk mie home gurls n me went 2 da ceedee store yestRday 2 buy teh noo 50cent cd n ginevra went lyk OMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMG! Lyk OMG mia ur son has lyk a noo cd out! SO lyk I lookd n I was lyk OMG but y is his naime Dippety D? Lyk hell dis is not mie son! N ginevra was lyk heck it iz mia! So I saw dat it WAZ! N im lyk bout too faynt rite now! OMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMG!"

And she fainted.

Ginny walked in. "What she means is, Marigold is a real rapper now and his name is Dippety D. He has a new album out. See?"

She showed everyone. Ron decided to buy it right there and then just for the cover picture, which was the most exciting thing he'd ever seen.

Ginny said, "See? It's called 'Munny, Secks, Thugstaz, and Wummenzz.' Doesn't it sound so good?"

The listeners were unable to distinguish whether Ginny meant to be sarcastic or not.

She went over and put the CD on the player.

"The title track is called, 'Dippety D Duz Da Derrrrty Deed.'"

The track came on. It had a boppy beat and featured Marigold saying nothing but

DIPPETY DIPPETY DIPPETY D! DIPPETY DIPPETY DIPPETY D! DIPPETY DIPPETY DIPPETY D!

Over and over again.

But of course the world is warped, Marigold became a star overnight, became a billionaire, and had his own reality show on MTV.

MILDLY CRAZY BIT

Ron was a beggar. He sang, 'Rudolph the Red Nose Reindeer' for a living, and of course nobody gave him money because it was only May.

Ron had an idea. "I shall go and saw off Hermione's head!"

Hermione came along and gave Ron some money.

Ron sawed off her head.

"EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEK!" shrieked Hermione. "MY HEAAAAAAAAD!"

She ran around in circles until a passing airplane pilot took pity on her and threw her down a well.

Harry walked towards Ron. "We have decided that you are the new King of the World. Everyone praise Ron!"

Everyone praised Ron.

Dumbledore walked by. He was wearing a bright red fleece jacket.

"Look at my bright red fleece jacket! It's new and is 100 percent recycled soda bottles!"

But then everyone saw Dippety D, aka Marigold, to Dumbledore's right, and trampled him to the floor in their hurry to get to him and ask him what color underwear he wore.

"What color underwear do you wear?" Fred asked Dippety D.

Dippety D thought for a moment.

"None!" he said proudly, and showed everyone.

Quite a few people felt sick.

Colin Creevey came up and tapped Harry on the shoulder.

"I wear pink Speedos for underwear." he said shyly.

Harry waved him away, which led Colin to commit suicide with several grieving aardvarks, who had lost their brothers in a mass murder by a renegade stork.

And I can't think of any more, I think I have writer's block and my nose is starting to itch for no reason at all.

That one wasn't very good, wasn't it?

I'm sad.

And by the way, the plastic bottle video is real, all the lines are real, I watched it in DT today. It sucked.

-Love,
Sammi