Gaia's Hidden Craziness

OR

Never Buy Sugar Cubes From a Cute Moogle.

Rating: PG
Genre: Comedy
Setting: Alexandria, Treno, The Ice Cavern, Dali, Gizamalukes Grotto
Main Characters: Zidane, Garnett, Steiner, Blank, Eiko, Vivi, and Stiltzkin

Part 9

In Which Stiltzkin Speaks Words Of Wisdom

OR

The Truth About The Lone Ranger

After hearing the story Steiner relayed to him, Stiltzkin collected a few things together and rushed off to Alexandria, muttering indiscreetly.

"Kupo, it would have been so much easier to take my jeep, but nooo! New things are too scary to these people, as if they don't have enough danger, flying around in those airships powered by mist. What if the engine were to go? They'd fall a lot further than we would if my jeep's engine died! Stupid Gaians! Can't wait to get to this earth place, they sound more open to ideas!" Steiner rushed behind Stiltzkin, panting heavily, and also muttering to himself.

"Stupid moogle. It isn't right, climbing inside big metal creatures to get from one place to the other! What if they swallowed?"

Eventually, the duo reached Alexandria though even they had no idea how they arrived there. A detailed search of the courtyard (glancing in all the corners as they ran through) showed them that the others where still inside the palace. More urgently now, Stiltzkin and stiener rushed inside. Sounds of screams and crashing came from a few rooms along. Stiltzkin drew a small wooden sword and pointed it in the direction of the noise.

"To the kitchens Kupo!" With an extravagant flourish the moogle bounded up onto Steiner's shoulders and dug his tiny paws in the knights neck. "Hi ho Steiner! Away!!" Steiner reached up a hand and rubbed his head.

"Hey that's pretty catchy!" Stiltzkin grinned, and Steiner set off to the kitchen.

The kitchen showed little sign of savage wrecking. Stiltzkin jumped off of Steiner's shoulders. Steiner looked disappointed.

"With all the commotion, I would have expected something more!" Stiltzkin walked over to a comfy sofa in the corner. Zidane and blank were collapsed on the sofa, Vivi and Eiko curled up on a rug nearby.

"Oh no!" Stiltzkin exclaimed, "We may be too late! We have to administer the antidote immediately!" Steiner looked alarmed.

"Antidote?"

"Yes, my medically challenged friend. Your friends are suffering from post depression due to the absence of sugar rush. They have fallen into a deep slumber! We have to waken them immediately. And there is only one way to do it!" Steiner fell to his knees.

"What is it doctor? Tell me!" Stiltzkin looked serious for a minute.

"Coffee."

"Coffee?"

"Coffee!" Steiner stood up, a look of disgust on his face.

"Coffee? That's the big antidote?" Stiltzkin looked alarmed at Steiner's obvious disgust.

"Well, the healing powers of coffee aren't something to be spoken about lightly! Coffee contains a special ingredient known as caff-ene. Its powerful stuff." Steiner thought about this for a moment.

"Well, that's ok then. Carry on." Stiltzkin nodded in relief and brewed up some coffee.

"Ok," he said, pouring the mix in two containers. "Administer the antidote. Remember to blow on it first. You don't want to burn their tongues." The two gave each of the four a sip of coffee. Soon they were waking up.

"Thank goodness. It was administered in time." Steiner was gazing at the small group, a frown on his face.

"Wait! Where's the princess?" Stiltzkin looked alarmed.

"She's not here?" Steiner shook his head then turned on Zidane.

"Ok monkey boy! Where is she?!" Zidane blinked sleepily

"Whozat?" Steiner jumped up and down in anger before running out of the kitchen in annoyance, to search the palace for garnet.

A scraping noise alerted Stiltzkin to the fact that someone else was in the kitchen. Curious. He went over to a cupboard in the corner. He opened the cup boarded and blinked inside. Garnett was asleep in the cupboard, cuddling a cat, which had been scratching at the door. He gave a sigh of relief and gave some coffee to Garnett. She blinked and sat up, releasing the cat who fled. Stiltzkin ushered her to the others.

"Well, then Kupo. Seems everyone is ok." Zidane rubbed his head.

"Is anything hitting my head with a hammer?" He queried. Stiltzkin looked surprised.

"No. Why?"

"No reason. Just my head is pounding." Stiltzkin nodded sagely.

"Which brings me to another point. While sugar is fun to eat, too much can have devastating side effects. Remember to have a bit of what is nice, but in moderation. And if you can't handle sugar rushes, be sure to have a friend to blame your actions on." The group nodded happily, before wandering out of the kitchen. Stiltzkin stood there for a moment before a beeping went off.

"Hmmm, they need me in Spira!" He looked around swiftly, before pressing his pom pom. Seconds later he teleported from the palace.

Just outside the kitchen the group stopped.

"So….do we have to start the journey again?" Vivi asked. The others thought for a second. Then Zidane spoke.

"To the hot springs!" the group cheered and ran from the palace.

Steiner was returning to the kitchen when he heard cheering. He ran forward just in time to see the last of the group run out of the door. He jumped up and down angrily.

"Dammit! They've gone again!" With that he ran after them.

THE END