Disclaimer: Still don't own Justice League, Batman, Diana, or any of the rest of them. Although wishes do sometimes come true!
I'm hoping for 7 reviews per chapter - help me out! For those of you who haven't reviewed the story before, I'd really appreciate it!
LG – the Chocolate reference is for you! Junk Food Junkies unite!
Again, the perspective changes with –VvV-
Chapter 4, Sometimes Love Just Ain't Enough, by Patty Smyth & Don Henley
"Yes, I may have hurt you, but I did not desert you, maybe I just want to have it all…There's a danger in loving somebody too much and it's sad when you know it's your heart you can't trust, there's a reason why people don't stay where they are, baby, sometimes, love just ain't enough…"
Diana's perspective…
I walked off the practice field that afternoon, still irate at the treatment that I had received at Bruce's hands earlier during our team building exercises. No matter how many times I tried to think about it rationally, I could not fathom his reasons for protecting me, for taking over my rightful place as a member of the team and rendering me utterly useless, not even worthy enough to be part of the team.
Being involved in a relationship gave the man no right to order me around, to usurp me in battle and to utterly hurt my feelings by protecting me, acting as if I wasn't capable. I was more than capable and I had proved it whenever possible, facing off against numerous villains and foes, taking on whatever missions I could in order to prove my worth, to justify my position on the team.
And now, again, I was being doubted, being forced to play second-fiddle because the Batman had deemed it so. Well, I was not a woman to be messed with and thousands of years of Amazon rage and anger came pouring into me, infusing me with a backbone of steel, ready and determined to take on my lover and give him a piece of my mind and quite possibly a piece of my fist.
Yet, beneath my veneer of steel, my heart ached, hurt at the knowledge that after all we had been through that Batman, that Bruce, had yet to trust me. I had assumed when he had decided to give our relationship a chance that he had been willing to trust me, to have faith in me and in us. And now I realized that we still had a long way to go, that this relationship was not on the steady ground that I had understood it to be on, that perhaps this entire relationship was becoming mist and smoke, a less than solid foundation to build on.
I understandably knew very little about male-female intimate relationships, but I knew that I had to stand up for myself no matter what, to not let go of this hurt, this anger, until I got some answers, satisfactory or not. I needed to confront Bruce, to surprise him, even if on his home turf, and to show him that I was not a woman in need of protection; I was a woman in need of trust.
Putting my emotions aside for a moment, I glanced quickly into the mirror, swiping at the iridescent tears that had formed on my eyelids despite my resolution not to let them fall. I had managed to keep the flood of emotions concealed, for the most part, but apparently I was more hurt than I had originally comprehended.
After ridding myself of the tears, I took another long look and myself and I couldn't help but feel proud of what I saw – I appeared strong and dominant, ready to take on the world and whatever Batman could throw my way. Still in my uniform, schooling my face into battle lines, I stepped out of my room and made my way down the corridor to the teleporter, intent on cornering the Bat in his cave.
-VvV-
After breaking away from the joy of the team building exercises, I had returned to the Bat-cave to spend the afternoon in search of better pursuits – delving into potential criminal plots and investigating recent thefts in the city of Gotham. It seemed as if my entire life recently had revolved only around my nighttime activities and pursuit of criminals, barely enough time to sleep and eat and certainly not enough time to have a life outside of criminal pursuit.
Even after returning from the field today, I hadn't allowed myself to dwell on what had occurred this afternoon, or given myself even a minute for me, just me, Bruce. Sleep was still a commodity that I was in desperate need of, yet I knew that it was a long time coming. Patrol was only a short time away and I needed to keep my mind sharp, to alleviate my need for sleep in whatever manner that I could in that short a time.
Turning away from the computer, I found myself wishing once again for a cup of coffee, an energy drink, anything to wake myself from this stupor of sleepiness. I called up to Alfred, asking him to bring me a pot of coffee as soon as humanly possible. Searching in earnest for something to eat, some chocolate or something to bring my brain back up to speed, I failed to hear the teleporter announcing an arrival to the Bat-cave.
Finally locating the errant chocolate bar, I tore at the wrapper, indulging myself in that first meltingly magical bite and steeling myself to return to the computer, to spend just a few more minutes in exploration before I set off for my evening patrol.
"I believe we need to talk," I heard a familiar voice state from across the room and I turned, chocolate bar in hand, surprised at the ability of Princess Diana to enter the Bat-cave without my knowledge. Apparently I was more tired than I had thought. And from the look on her face, this was the conversation that I had been hoping to avoid when I left the team earlier. She stood with her hands on her hips, and not in the teasing stance that I come to affectionately adore, but in stern, rigid lines that bespoke of her current state of mind. Her face appeared set in stone, a carefully crafted countenance of resentment and rage, the blue eyes lacking their usual sparkle and the lightness that I had come to believe was an innate part of Diana was missing, no matter how deeply I searched her expression.
Suddenly, I was deeply grateful for my cowl.
I had a gnawing feeling in the pit of my stomach that had nothing to do with hunger and everything to do with the expression on Diana's face, the certain knowledge that she was through with the complications that I brought to a relationship, the lack of time, the lack of absolutely everything. I knew my limitations and relationships were certainly not my forte – I was stunned it had taken Diana this long to throw in the towel; but nonetheless, I was resigned to facing my fate without breaking.
"Why?" I asked her, lacing the words with as much harshness as I could muster, drawing my cape close around me to hide the sudden fragility in my spine and unthinkingly dropping the candy bar to the floor, lost in the heat of the moment.
"I am not weak," she stated in the calmest, most deadly voice that I had ever heard her use in my presence, utterly intent on stating her case and obviously feeling very confident in her decision.
"I am not someone you need to protect. And I am not helpless." Her voice rose with each word until the cave began to echo with the sounds emanating from the mouth of Diana and I waited in agony, certain that whatever happiness I had found with her was over before it had even had a chance to begin.
"I cannot believe that you would treat me like some doll, like some woman in need of cosseting and comforting whenever danger makes an appearance. I am a warrior, I am a Princess, and I am the last person you should ever feel the need to protect."
She looked directly at me, lowering her voice before stating in a voice mixed with sadness, "I thought we were partners, equals on and off the field of battle."
Diana stopped, taking a deep breath and looking down at the floor, obviously trying to reign in her emotions and make her argument. And I just stood there helplessly, a prisoner of my emotions, knowing that I had no excuses for my behavior, that whatever Diana decided, I would accept.
And then she raised her eyes, and I could see the sheen of tears on the dark spike of her lashes as she asked me, "Was I wrong about us, Bruce?"
I stood silent for a moment, trying to work whatever words I could past the lump that had emerged in my throat.
"Diana," I said softly, "I…"
Pulling my cape in tighter, I braced myself for the evitable tirade I received from the women I entered into a relationship with – the litany of excuses that I always made, the lack of time I made for them, the skewed priorities in my life, but none of that came from the woman facing me across the room, her anger having faded into the sad expression she now faced me with.
Suddenly, I realized that this woman was different, that she didn't expect any more from me that I had to give and that she understood the limitations that I faced in my relationships and in myself. But I couldn't find the words to tell her that I was sorry, to apologize for my actions this afternoon. I felt choked; I needed to escape the emotional tension flooding the room.
Hearing the sound of footsteps echoing from the stairs that led to the Manor, I saw the distraction on Diana's face and immediately fled, striding, practically running to the Batmobile to begin my patrol for the evening, intent on escaping the room with whatever shards of pride I had left.
-VvV-
I watched in disbelief as the taillights of the Batmobile rocketed out of the cave and away from the discussion that I had been trying to undertake. I knew that Bruce was uncomfortable with emotion and I had tried to pose my argument in rational statements, but obviously, I had failed in that endeavor and Bruce had fled at the first available opportunity.
"Princess Diana?" I looked over to see Alfred staring at me with concern written on his face. Clearly he had witnessed Bruce's speedy escape and had heard our quarrel and now he wanted to help me with the situation.
"I don't know what happened, Alfred. I thought we were doing so well and now I see that he doesn't trust me, that he doesn't think of me as an equal in this relationship or as teammates." My anger had faded, replaced now with sadness, with the hurt that I had been feeling all day rising to the surface, overwhelming me with the flood of emotions.
"If I may say something," Alfred began quietly, looking at me with a sweet softness in his eyes before continuing, "While Master Bruce has never been one to trust easily, I do know that you are among those that he does confide in, else he would never have brought you here, allowed you to see the Bruce behind the Batman."
"I might add, Princess Diana, that Master Bruce has always had a wide protective streak, putting whomever he cares for in his circle of protection and as of late, that circle has expanded to include yourself."
I stared into his eyes, taking comfort in his words, but still upset with Bruce's abrupt departure and earlier actions.
"He loves you, Princess Diana, take heart in that."
Alfred's final words made me realize that my conversation with Bruce was far from over and that, no matter what, I couldn't stop my heart from loving Bruce, but I still had a few things to discuss with him...
Question: In one of the upcoming chapters, I'm planning to show how the group reforges the bonds of friendship after all is said and done. I was thinking of someone along the lines of a Friendship Day(for lack of thinking of anything else to call it) where they all spend time together as a group, maybe even some gift giving. Anyone have any goods ideas that they're willing to share and let me use? Ideas for activities, presents, a name for it, anything will get them back to being friends and moving past the harshness of this episode. Feel free to include it in a review or email me!
Next chapter: Real Bad Mood/Go Your Own Way – the team decided to take a little time to themselves…
