Perfectangst: I don't own Yu Yu Hakusho, or FHIF, but I'll tell you, I wish I owned the hot gay vampire boys that make out in HBL333's closet! –grinns-
AU: Yusuke goes to Makai to train/compete in the Makai tournament, promising Keiko he will be back in three years. So what does she do while waiting? Moves into Fosters home for imaginary friends of course!
"Keiko honey! Phone's for you!" Keiko groaned and struggled to free herself from her mountain of tangled sheets. When she finaly succeeded, she reached for the phone on her bedside table.
"'elo?" She asked sleepily supressing a yawn.
"Hello? Ms.Yukimora? This is Mr. Herriman…I'm calling to inform you of your new inheritance." Keiko straightened up.
"In…Inheritance? From who?"
"Mrs. Foster, your second aunt twice removed on your fathers side."
"Oh." Keiko sat on her bed puzzled. Who was Foster? Certainly no one she had ever heard of.
"Are you sure? I mean it's a little bit of a distant relationship for me to be receiving inheritance from her…I mean…I didn't even know I had an third aunt fith remo…whatever it is." Mr.Herriman made a disaproving grunting noise in the back of his throat.
"It doesn't matter, Mrs. Foster wishes it so it shall be done. A car will be arriving in forty five minutes to pick you up and take you to your new home."
"NEW HOME! WHO SAID I WAS MOVING?" Keiko shrieked scaring the birds off her window sill.
"I believe I just did about a minute ago. Good day Ms. I will see you in approxtimitaly an hour." With that, he hung up. She stared at the phone for a minute before yelling at the top of her lungs;
"MOM!" Her mother walked calmly into the room with a basket of laundry.
"Yes dear?"
"Who is Mrs. Foster? Why am I moving? WHATS GOING ON!" To her further frusrtration, her mother smiled.
"Mrs. Foster is your second aunt twice removed on your fathers side dear. You met her once, when you were younger. I believe you will be moving into her mansion to help manage everything, after all, it is going to be your inheritance when she dies. I suppose she wants you learn how to mangage everything in the house." Her mother smiled brightly. Keiko stared in shock as her mother moved busily around the room packing up her clothes and personal items. Tossing a bag at Keiko she said;
"Go and pack the stuff in your bathroom dear…" Keiko nodded weakly and did as she was told. Half an hour later, all her bags were packed and ready by the door. Keiko sat on her empty bed and stared about her bare walls. She still didn't understand anything that was happening, and she doubted she would for a while. Damn this is confusing. She thought to herself as the doorbell rang. She was snapped out of her daze and ran out of her room and down the stairs to answer the door. When she opened it, she received the biggest shock of her life. There, standing on the doorstep of her prefectly normal home…in her prefectly normal neighbourhood, was a rabbit in a top hat and tail coat with eyeglasses. He was as tall as her and held himself with pride.
"Uhm.."
"Hello. I'm supposing that you're Ms. Yukimora?" She could only nod dumbly in reply. He sniffed, picked up two of her bags and started back towards the car.
"Follow me. We have much to attened to before the day is done." She grabbed the remaining bag and after yelling a hurried 'I'll call you later' to her mother ran out the door after the rabbit. Her bags were placed in the trunk and she was escorted to the back.
"uhm..excuse me, but, are you a rabbit?" She asked hoping the question wouldn't offend him.
"A gray hare actualy, but yes that is still a type of rabbit I suppose. I am Mr. Herriman, your new butler. I will be managing all of the social events, cleaning duties and other such important things at the manor." He said as he drove.
"Oh, ok." Was her only reply as she hoped against all odds that she was dreaming this strange senario.
"Where exactly is this manor?" She asked curiosity getting the better of her.
"On Imaginary Pines Ave. Just up the road." He answered as they turned onto a rarely used street and continued on their way. She remained silent for the rest of the drive and stared out the window looking at the senery and thinking over what she knew. I'm moving into an aunts house that I never knew I had, my mom is ok with it, it's a mansion, and my butler is a rabbit and he acts like it's the most normal thing in the world…this has got to be a dream. She felt the car slow and turn onto a gravel driveway. She turned her attention to the end of the road where a shadow was coming into view. It was huge! She was guessing at least six stories tall and it looked like it could fit four of her houses on one floor. And she was going to be living here! This was definitaly the strangest dream she had ever had.
"We have arrived." Mr.Herriman said stopping the car. She quickly removed herself from the back seat and pulled out some of her lugage bags from the trunk. Following the rabbit, she walked up to the manor and was ushered into a large foyer richly decorated with plush carpets, elegant tapestries and polished wood carved staircases. Pictures of the strangest looking creatures hung on the walls in large frames. Keiko marveled at the vastness of it all while being led through a corridor.
"Your room is on the second floor, it's the first one to your left. I hope you find it to your liking. Your bags will be brought up shortly by wilt." With that he left with a tip of his hat. She shrugged. This has got to be the wierdest dream I've ever had. She thought as she made her way up the stairs. Sure enough, the room appointed to her was indeed there. She knocked on the door and when receiving no answer, preceeded to open it.
One year later
"MAC! WHERE'D YOU GO!" Keiko was wandering through the halls of her aunts home looking for her youngest cousin who was currently late for school.
"MAC! COME ON YOUR ALREADY LATE!" She yelled again looking into the living room. 'He's not in there either. Where the heck did that boy run off to?' She thought desperatly as she continued her search. Sighing, she ignored the rumbling in her stomache for finding Mac. 'wait a minute…THE KITCHEN!' Turning she ran the opposite direction of where she came from.
5 minutes later had her dragging a protesting Mac through the house to get him to the front door and to first period.
"But Keiko! I don't wanna go to school!"
"I know you don't but you.can't.stay.home!" She said acenting each of her words with a tug that got him to release the death grip he had on the corner of the wall.
"FRANKIE!" Keiko yelled, hopeing her oldest cousin was in hearing range. Soon a red head girl with dark brown eyes came rushing around the corner.
"MAC! Go to school!" She yelled before grabbing her younger brothers ear and dragged him towards the front door.
"NOOOO! YOU CAN'T MAKE ME!" He said twisting around and trying to get out of his sisters vice grip. When they had finally rounded the corner and Mac's screams were a distant echo, Keiko slumped her shoulders in relief and turned to go back to the kitchen to get breakfast. Pushing open the door she came face to face with a very disgruntled brunette.
"Hey Lakota." She greeted before ducking around the homicidal girl and grabbing a bowl and filling it with cereal. Lakota glared and grunted as greeting. Keiko rolled her eyes. She is such a morning person.
Just then the bane of Lakotas exsistance bounced cheerily into the room.
"GOD MORNING ALL! THE SUN IS UP, THE BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AND.-WE'RE GONNA BE LATE!" She yelled getting a good look at the clock. Keiko glanced behind her. 8:11.
"Oh well. It's not like Lakota is ever at school for first anyways." Just then another teen bounded into the kitchen. This one had red hair and green eyes and was taller than everyone else in the room.
"Who the hell woke me up before noon?" She ground out glaring specifically at the blonde.
"Loretta." Both girls replyed not wanting to be on the receiving end of the Catrin's wrath this early in the morning. Said red head in mention turned slowly to pin the blonde teen with a glare.
"Loretta. You.Are.So.Dead." She said before launching at the girl and started to strangle her. Lakota watched iN amusement while Keiko ignored everyone for her breakfast.
Once the mini wrestling match was over, the four girls grabbed their respective backpacks from the floor by the kitchen doorway and headed off to school…just in time for second.
A/N: Just so you're not confused- lakota, the homicidal brunette.
Catrin: the evil red head
Loretta- the morning loving blonde
Keiko- keiko
Later
"Well, that was uneventful." Lakota yawned as she walked out of the school and towards the sidewalk.
"When is school eventful?" Catrin groaned from beside her.
"Well, there was that one time when you two set the chem. Lab on fire and Loretta tried to steal the disected frogs." Keiko shuddered at the memory.
"That doesn't count."
"Okay, how 'bout the time we blew up the football field?" Keiko suggested. The other two burst out laughing.
"OMIGOD! Remember the coaches face when he found out it was us!" Lakota laughed.
"Oh yeah…then he didn't have any proof to show the principal so we got out of any punishment!" Catrin added.
"Hey whatcha laughing about?" Loretta asked bouncing up behind them.
"Oh just the time we stole the sodium from science class and blew up the football field."
"Oh yeah! That was fun! We should go it again!"
"Guys, I hate to break up memory lane but we gotta pick up Mac." Keiko reminded her friends. Still chuckling, they headed off in the direction of the elementry school where Mac would be waiting.
Once the four girls arrived they found Mac hiding behind a tree, glancing around nervously. His eyes snapped up as they came to a stop infront of him.
"Oh….uh…hi guys…we should probably go now…" he said grabbing Keiko's hand and attempting to drag her off of the school grounds. Lorreta blinked.
"Whats the rush? Is something wrong?" The blonde asked as they slowly started towards their home.
"Wrong? Nothings wrong…nope nothing at all…heh heh…" Keiko narrowed her eyes and dug her heels into the ground, effectively halting the boy.
"Mac…what'd you do?" She asked glaring at said boy. Mac shifted his eyes.
"Nothing! Nothing at all…this is just a…a procautionary measure! Yeess…now lets go…" He said, attempting to once more drag his cousin away from the school.
"Mac…What did you do…"
"I told you! Nothing!"
"Mac…"
"…."
"MAC!"
"Okay okay so I planted a pudding bomb in the teachers lounge which is set to go off in three minutes now lets go!" The girls froze as he finished his sentance.
"YOU DID WHAT?"
"Planted…a…pudding bomb?"
"WHAT HAVE YOU DONE? YOU KNOW THOSE THINGS AREN'T STABLE! IT COUILD SHOWER PUDDING ANYWHERE IN A FIVE MILE RADIUS!" Lakota screamed, shaking Mac's shoulders.
"Yes…which is why I think we shoud go…NOW!" That's all it took for the five of them to make a mad dash, effectively making the 20minute walk to their house in 60 seconds flat. And not a moment to soon, as a giant boom was heard and an explosion of chocolate pudding could be seen in the distance. Keiko let out the breath she had been holding.
"Okay…next time you decide to plant any kind of pudding product that could potentially maim us in a public place…please give us at least a ten minute head start to get away." Mac nodded.
"Yes mam."
The four walked up the stairs to the mansion and stepped inside. Only to come face to face with a tall, brown haired teen in a ninja shinobe mask.
"Oh…hey Jeff." Keiko said, passing said teen and walking towards the living room.
Catrin narrowed her eyes at Jeff. "Are you a Nazi?"
"Nope." Jeff said shaking his head. "I'm a frog revolutionist…" Catrin grinned.
"LIBERATE THE FROGS!"
And so the four teens, minus Mac because he had mysteriously vanished, made themselves comfortable in the living room. And it was silent, calm and very tranquile…
But lord knows that didn't last long.
"LET IT RIP!" A light flashed as Mac launched his beyblade to attack. The others responded imediately, drawing their blades and proceeding to have the battle of the century, in the good living room.
Mac, of course, was victorious.
"Hey…where's Bloo?" He asked, looking around for his little blue imaginary friend. Keiko shrugged.
"Beats me…maybe we should go look for him…" She said, gathering up her beyblade and launcher. Everyone agreed except for Lakota.
"I don't know…this house is pretty big…don't you think that we'll get lost?"
Everyone stared in silence.
"NOPE!"
Keiko turned to walk out of the room, the others at her heel. "Oh come on Lakota…its not like we'll end up falling into some strange room after walking up various flights of stairs and through multiple hallways or anything…"
Keiko landed on a large table in the middle of a strange room. Rubbing her now sore ass she looked up just in time to see Lakota, Catrin and Lorreta fall onto the table. Wait…wheres… A scream came from above them as Mac fell into Lorreta's arms. Yep, we're all here and acounted for!
Lorreta looked up and noted that Keiko had started twitching.
"CODE BLUE CODE BLUE!" She screamed clamping her hands over Macs ears. And not a moment too soon because Keiko began to scream.
"I WANT TO KNOW HOW THE FUCK WE MANAGED TO GO DOWN A FUCKING FLIGHT OF STAIRS AND END UP ON THE FUCKING ROOF, GO THROUGH THREE FUCKING HALLWAYS DOWN ANOTHER FUCKING FLIGHT OF STAIRS AND END UP IN SOME GOD DAMNED ROOM IN THE MIDDLE OF LORD KNOWS WHERE!"
"KEIKO! There are children in the room!" Lakota hissed motioning towards Mac.
"DOES IT LOOK LIKE I GIVE A FLAMING FUCK IN HELL IF THERE ARE KIDS HERE OR NOT? I WANT TO KNOW HOW THE FUCK ALL OF THIS HAPPENED!"
Everyone stared at the screaming girl blankly and silence ensued. After a while Keiko calmed down.
"Do you think the house has something against us?" She asked thoughtfully. Lakota groaned as Lorreta released Mac's ears.
"NOT THIS conversation AGAIN! I thought we went over this. Houses…do not…have personalities!"
"I don't know…there was that one time I kicked the wall…and snapped that door in half…ooo ooo and there was that time I punched the window and it broke. I think it might be pretty mad at me by now…"
"You know Lakota…Keiko has a point. This one time, I had a three hour conversation with the wall and the funny thing was it actually answered!" Catrin looked at Lorreta like she was crazy.
"Lorreta did you take your meds today?" Lorreta shifted her eyes.
"Maybe…"
"No she didn't."
"MAC YOU TRAITOR!"
"What? It's the truth!" Just when Loretta had started strangleing Mac, Keiko began to look around and for the first time noted that there were other presences in the room.
"Uh, guys…We're kind of not alone…" Lakota paused and looked up from the headlock she had Mac in and looked at Keiko.
"What do you mean we're not alone?" She raised an eyebrow. Just then her eyes widened. "OMFG YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT THE FIRST ENCOUNTER WITH THE THIRD KIND! ALIENS! RUN AWAY!" Lakota dropped Mac and started running in circles on the table. Keiko sweatdropped.
"Not exactly what I had in mind…" By now Lakota had stopped running and looked around the room to find…gasp PEOPLE!
"Uh huh…think they speak our language? I mean they look pretty confused and all…I think they might be German…(shifty eyes)" Keiko groaned.
"Not this again…please, will somebody just shoot me?" Catrin looked up from her full nelson hold on Loretta.
"Germans…did somebody say GERMANS! NOOO WE WILL ALL DIE BY THE HANDS OF HITLER! ESCAPE WITH THE JEWS ESCAPE WITH THE JEWS!" Now Catrin was running around wildly and yelling about the Germans coming to kill them all. It seemed that just then Mac and Loretta both at the same time realized they were free and continued to try and kill each other. Heh Heh…I mean of course engage each other in a friendly wrestling match…of course. With Catrin running free, ontop of the table might I add, and Lakota and Keiko running after her, with Loretta and Mac killing each other, the conf rence table had become a battle field. Running around in circles after Catrin, Keiko paused to say Hi to one of her old friends.
"Hi Hiei…whats up?" Then she continued running. Then she stopped and backtracked causing Lakota to run into her and fall flat on her ass.
"Wait…HIEI! WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING HERE?" Keiko asked looking at the short fire demon in confusion. Hiei raised an eyebrow.
"Uh…you know this guy? Scaaary…I gotta…ACK! LORETTA LET GO OF HIM THIS INSTANT!" While Lakota ran over to stop Loretta from really killing Mac, Catrin yelling 'LIBERATE THE FROGS' while dancing, Keiko sat down in front of Hiei.
"So…how's your life coming along?" Hiei started shaking. And not from fear…oh no…the infamous jagan demon, fire apparition, and master of the dragon of the darkness flame, was shaking with laughter.
"WHAT THE HELL IS SO DAMN FUNNY!"…
"Y..you and….and…GAH!" He couldn't answer as he fell into a fit of giggles. Keiko backed away slowly.
"O…K…Im gonna leave you to your own devices…" She turned and looked at the other people. Actualy at one in particular.
"Do I know you?" She asked a long black haired boy with weird strip-ey things on his face and arms. He looked at her with a raised eyebrow and look that said are-you-nuts-of-course-you-know-who-I-am. Keiko was about to have a revelation as things slowly started to fall into place when…
"EARS!" Keiko spun around thinking 'oh crap oh crap oh crap' to see her worst fear…Loretta attached to a tall silver haired fox demon…with ears.
"Oh crap…" Was all she could say as he looked at her with a help-me look. Keiko backed away slowly.
"Heh heh You know..I would hide behind Hiei but he is in no shape to help anybody…since he is rolling around on the floor in fits of giggles…."
Just then the door burst open and a tall white long haired old ish looking guy with the same marks as the black haired dude walked in.
"WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON IN HERE!" He yelled.
Everyone stopped what they were doing and looked at him. Everyone but Catrin.
"LIBERARTE THE FROGS!" She yelled as she ran by him holding a dead frog that she stole from Mr.Lambs science classroom. Keiko rolled her eyes and jumped off the table. Walking over to her, she calmly proceeded to hit her on the head with a frying pan. Where it came from we may never know.
"You idiot…it's already dead…" She shook her head and turned back to Loretta.
"Loretta sweetie…? Will you let go of his ears now?" She asked in a pleading sort of voice. Hiei stood up off the floor and dusted himself off, acting like nothing ever happened. Until he turned and saw one of his best friends and comerade/allie attached to one of the strange girls who had a death grip on his ears.
"MUHAHAHAHAHAHA!" He fell back on the ground laughing like there was no tomarrow. meanwhile…Loretta was still obsessiong over ears.
"Will you marry me?" She asked one of the ears while tugging on it. Keiko sweatdropped.
"Uh…Loretta…did you just propose to his ears?" She smiled brightly.
"YUP! And they just said yes!"
"Oh my god..this falls right into the category of you having a three hour conversation with a talking wall doesn't it?" Loretta just grinned.
"Hey…aren't you already married to Cloud's pants?" Lakota eyed her suspisiously. Loretta shifted her eyes.
"Yes…."
"And Isn't it considered cheating if you're married to multiple peop…uh things at once?" Loretta thought about this for a minute.
"I guess so why?"
"…MUHAHAHAHA! FINALY THE DAY I HAVE BEEN WAITING FOR ALL MY LIFE! CLOUDS PANTS ARE MINE!" She ran around the room in a victory dance.
"WHAT NOOOOO! YOU CANNOT TAKE CLOUDS PANTS FROM ME!"
"OH YES I CAN! HEHEHEHEHE!" Keiko watched as the two of them chased each other around the room fighting over clouds pants. Catrin, who had been quiet this whole time now found it a good time to walk up to the speachless man in the doorway.
"Excuse me Mr….but are you German?"
"Huh?" He asked turning to look at her.
"Cuz if you are…ESCAPE WITH THE JEWS ESCAPE WITH THE JEWS!" She began her crazy running cycle again yelling something that sounded like 'LIBERATE THE JEWS, ESCAPE WITH THE FROGS…HIT ME BABY ONE MORE TIME!' Keiko backed slowly into a corner and stood beside the the guy she kinda not really reconized.
"Hey Keiko…long time no see."
"Yeah…"
"Sooo…is your everyday life this eventful?"
"Nope…add about 15 more teenagers, and a bigger room…"
"Oh…" Then it started to sink in.
"Keiko?"
"Yusuke?"
"WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING HERE!" He/she yelled at the same time.
"Uh…I'm training to become king and inheirit these lands…"
"Oh…I went down a corridor and a flight of stairs and ended up here…where is here anyways?"
"Makai."
"Oh" They watched in silence as the chaos ensued between the demons and the human girls.
"whos fox boy?"
"Kurama."
"Ah…so that's why Hiei always calls him fox…think we should help him?"
"Yeah…we probably should." Neither of them moved from their spots against the wall.
"I guess I should go save him…I mean Loretta can be really scary sometimes…"
"Yeah…no…he can handle himself…" Yusuke said grabbing Keikos shoulder and pulling her back into the corner.
"It's safer back here."
"Oh most likely." She agreed. Just then Hiei came over and stood on Keikos other side.
"Over your laughing fit yet?"
"Yes."
"Good…wanna go help Kurama?"
"No."
"Us either." They stood in mutual silence beside each other when Keiko realized something.
"HOLY SHIT WHERE'D MAC GO!" Everyone stopped what they were doing and looked at her.
"Oh CRAP! FRANKIES GONNA KILL US IF WE LOST HIM!GAH! I DON'T WANNA DIE TWICE!" Loretta let go of Kurama's ears and fell to the floor sobbing.
"Twice? What do you mean twice?" Keiko asked backing into Yusuke slightly.
"Uh..Mr.Herriman said he'd kill us all if we left a mess in the good living room again. You know the one we were practicing our beyblading in before we got lost this morning?"
"Uh Oh…"
meanwhile
"Hello? Anybody but me here?" Mac called out into the empty corridor. Alas, he was met by silence. Shrugging he made his way down the toarch lit hall. He had decided to leave and go exploring after things started getting boring. So here he was walking down an unknown hall in an unknown place all by his loansome. Well…almost by his loansome….
"Pretty shiney ooooOOOoo…more shiney…"
"Bloo, knock it off already! If I hear the word shiney one more time dangit all im gonna hurt someone!"
"Shiney!"
"ARG!" As Mac turned around to kill whoever said shiney he was met with a grinning brown haired boy who looked to be around 15.
"Hiya Mac! Whats up?"
"Oh…hi Jeff…nothing really. Other than the fact that Keiko and Lakota are trying to dissuade Loretta to getting married to some guys fox ears, and Catrin trying to liberate dead frogs, my life hasn't changed much since I last saw you."
"Oh…that's nice. Have you seen the others anywhere?"
"Others? No I thought it was just us and the girls in the confrence room that were here."
"Nope! All of us are here and accounted for. Although…I haven't quite figured out where 'here' is." Mac shrugged and admitted he didn't know either.
"So where is everybody?"
"I dunno…we decided to play hide and go seek and I'm it…so I gotta find everyone."
"oOOOoooO…cool…want help?" An overenthousiastic nod was what he got for an answer. And thus began the hunt for 12 teens in a Makai castle that could possibly hold 300x that amount of people.
"So, who's Mac?" Yusuke asked while he and Keiko walked down the hall. After conferming that yes, Mac was indeed missing, they had decided to split up and look for him.
"My youngest cousin. See, things…changed after you left. They changed a lot." She grimaced in memory of what happened.
"What do you mean?" He asked, searching her face for any clues.
"Well, about two weeks after you left, I got this phone call, from my…uh my aunt, that I didn't know about, and her butler told me that I would inhierit this huge amount of money and her house, that's really a castle like thing, once she died. Then he told me I was moving in." Pausing, she shifted. "Um…Yusuke?" He turned to look at his friend.
"Yeah?"
"The butler is a rabbit."
"Why exactly are we hiding again?" A youth with long red hair and violet eyes asked her companion as they ducked behind a large conviniently placed tree. Inside the castle. But instead of pondering the strangness of a tree in the middle of a hall, they pondered the reason they were hiding behind it in the first place.
"Well, I think we were either secretly stalking someone or they were stalking us. I really hope were the ones being stalked though." Her companion answered. She had light brown hair tied up in a high ponytail and blue eyes.
"Why is that?" The first girl asked.
"Because if we were the the ones stalking then it would involve us moving and actualy trying to find somebody. If we are the stalkees we just have to hide and run away from everyone." She replied nodding her head at her logic before they both went back to being silent and continue to look out for possible stalkers.
Back in the council room, Raizen was left staring at the empty room which had been, until five minutes ago, overrun by teenage humans he suspected each had a different varriation of ADHD.