Title: Sometimes It's Easier (7?)
Rating: PG or K+
Content: Angsting, sappiness
Disclaimer: Don't own, don't sue
Summary: I haven't updated this in agesnaughty me. This is a different storyline to the one I was initially going to write, but I think it works better. I'd love to know what you think of the direction.

Equality in a relationship was not something that Lita was used to. She'd always been drawn to men that liked to be in control; despite her strong and independent reputation, there had always been something alluring about a man who took control. She figured that her relationship with her father had a lot to do with that. Randy was completely different, giving her space and choice, and that took some getting used to. It was liberating though, for Lita, because she found herself becoming the person she'd always wanted to be, rather than the person other people wanted her to be.

Matt had been a very headstrong guy, emotional and passionate, who always wore his heart on his sleeve. Edge had been laid back, and more than happy to let things slide, to not worry about consequences. Randy was somewhere in between, and that balance was what Lita had been searching for. She was neither overwhelmed nor under-whelmed by him; he offered exactly what she needed.

Her only fear was when exactly she'd mess things up. Because she would, it was inevitable. She always did.

Despite Lita's words to him, Randy was still finding it hard to talk to her about how he felt. On screen, his troubles had died down a little, but it was still uncomfortable. Other wrestlers were still giving him flack over his agreement to use Eddie's name, and although Randy agreed with the sentiment of what they were saying, they didn't seem to understand just what had been threatened did he not go through with the storyline. No one wanted mid card mediocrity, no one wanted to burn their bridges at such a young age. Randy had learned that much from Hunter. He missed Dave's calming influence in the locker room, missed the way that the big man took control of the situation and explained things so clearly that there was no room for argument. Although Dave hadn't been in wrestling that long, he brought experience with him from several other fields, and that helped him to deal with the issues that inevitably arose. He was a natural leader, and wasn't so immersed in the backstage culture as others were. Consequently, it allowed him to call bullshit if things went too far.

Sometimes, Randy wanted to call Lita up and rant about how things were, but he was still reluctant, even after everything she'd said. He knew it was an inequality in their relationship that he'd have to work to change, but it didn't make it any easier to do. In fact, in one way it made things worse, because deep down, he knew that he didn't quite trust Lita's strength yet. As much as she protested, and showed that she'd changed, he still wondered. He still worried.

He still questioned himself, questioned his motives. Was it really that he didn't believe her strength, or was it that part of him liked the thought of her being less than strong? Did he like her being reliant on him, did he like the feeling of protecting her? Those were dark thoughts, and ones that he didn't want to acknowledge. They were thoughts that existed though, and thoughts that wouldn't go away. Despite all the space he'd given her to grow, he'd always let her know that he was there to care for her, to hold her and make empty promises about how everything would be ok. He'd liked that role, and he wasn't sure that he wanted to give it up just yet.

And he certainly didn't want to appear weak, not again. He'd had one moment of weakness, he'd let his guard down and she'd seen him as he never wanted to be. He could pretend all he wanted that he wouldn't talk to her because of her, but just as much it was because of him. Call it stupid male pride, call it whatever you wanted, he did not want her to see him like that again.

Things hadn't yet gone too far in the Smackdown locker room, but they were getting there. It didn't help that a certain person was doing his level best to paint Randy as the bad guy. Matt may have called a truce with Lita, but he evidently still had a problem with Randy.

It was just snide comments at first; to Randy himself, to others within Randy's earshot, and later Randy discovered behind his back too. That in itself wasn't too bad; it wasn't anything Randy hadn't experienced before. It wasn't like Matt had a great deal of influence backstage, at least not with people that really mattered, and it wasn't as if wrestlers criticizing each other was a new thing. When Matt started leaking information and news to the internet dirt sheets, Randy started to question exactly why he was doing this and what he hoped to achieve from it. The information varied from old stories of Randy's worst excesses backstage to details of the strife and dissent the storyline referencing Eddie had caused.

Randy was a heel, and he expected the fans to react accordingly, but to have his past mistakes thrown in his face, and to have the fans abuse him every time he entered or left an arena was too much. Matt was crossing the line between real life and wrestling, blurring it for the fans, and Randy was taking the flack. And, from the subtle comments Matt had made sure Randy could hear, the young man knew it was a matter of time before news of his relationship with Lita made it to the internet.

While Randy didn't have a problem with that, he knew Lita would. He knew the more passionate side of Matt's fan base still hadn't forgiven her, and with her current storyline with Edge, neither had the casual fan. It wasn't as if WWE had given her a chance to put the past behind her. So, likelihood was, if news of their relationship got out, it would be Lita that got most of the flack, not him.

He wasn't sure what to do for the best: prepare her for the news coming out, or try to stop Matt taking things too far. He figured that if Hardy had called a truce with his former girlfriend, the last thing he'd want to do is hurt her. He did wonder at times if Matt had known Lita at all. From little things Lita had said, and from the way things had been since she'd split up with Matt, Randy seriously doubted that Hardy had ever made enough of an effort to really understand the girl he'd claimed to love.

Randy hoped to hell that talking to Matt would be enough to prevent him doing something stupid.

Randy found it hard to approach Matt, as he wasn't entirely sure what to say, what angle to take with him. Should he threaten to punch him in the face, try to reason with him, or find some other way of dealing with this? Lita knew him, she'd dealt with situations like this before, she'd know what to do, but it was entirely because of her that he was having to do this. He wanted to protect her from this, not drag her right into it.

Protecting her was something that aroused conflicting feelings in him. In one way, he wanted to shield her from anything that might hurt her, but he'd promised her and himself that he wouldn't do that. He'd promised to support her, not shield her. It was hard not to though, she'd already been through so much that he knew and much more that he suspected that she wasn't even willing to confront yet.

He'd have to ask her about what to do. He knew she'd never forgive him for hiding things from her, for underestimating her strength. It would have been easier to just deal with it on his own, but he was slowly learning that the easy way wasn't always the right way, especially with Lita.

"Li? Hey babe, you ok?"

She sat back on the bed in her hotel room, pleased to hear his voice. They hadn't seen each other for a couple of weeks, and these phone conversations each evening were the highlight of her day, "hey gorgeous, I'm good. How're you?

"Yeah, missing you like crazy, but you already know that, right?"

"Oh I know, I'm feeling the same… exactly how long until I get to see you again?"

"Seven days, four hours… and about three minutes," he laughed softly, "and I can't wait."

She giggled, "it can't come too quickly."

"I know," Randy signed, he never imagined he could miss someone the way he missed her.

"What's wrong, Randy?" She'd known that there was something on his mind for a few days now, and if he wasn't going to mention it, she would.

"Matt's being a prick."

She sighed, knowing now why he was so reluctant to mention what was frustrating him, "that's nothing new, really."

"He's the one been leaking stuff to the internet dirt sheets."

"That doesn't surprise me either."

"I think he's going to tell someone about us."

He heard her breath catch in her throat, "bastard."

"What should I do?" Randy hated himself for causing that pain in her voice, "I need to talk to him… maybe persuade him to leave us alone?"

"He won't. I know him," she sounded resigned to what would happen, "he's an idiot, but… I thought he meant it when he said truce…"

"It's not you he's looking to hurt… it's me. He's been leaking all those stories about me, about the conflict I've been causing backstage… he wants to hurt me, not you."

"Doesn't he realize what this will do to me? They all hate me anyway… this is just going to make everything ten times worse," Lita was not hurting now, but angry. She'd hurt Matt, she knew that, but she thought they'd got past that, she thought he'd meant it when they called a truce.

"I'm gonna talk to him."

"It won't do any good."

"I need to try."

"Yeah."

"Li?" Randy was worried, she'd gone very quiet and he could hear sniffles, like she was trying not to cry, "Li, talk to me."

"I should be so, so happy to tell the world that I'm with you. I'm so proud of being with you… but the thought of letting everyone know… of them looking at me and everything that people will say to you about me…" she wiped at her eyes furiously, wanting to be stronger than this, wanting to be better, not wanting to let Matt win.

"I know, Iknow," if Randy wasn't sure about what to do about Matt before, he was now. "Li, I know… we'll be ok, I promise, even if everyone does find out."

"Don't make me promises you might not be able to keep."

"Ok then, I promise that I will love you, no matter what, yeah?"

"You can't be sure you'll keep that one either."

"I can Li, and I will."

"I miss you so much," she sighed, laying her head on the soft pillow, wishing it were him.

"Me too. 'Night, angel."

"Love you."

"Love you too."

As he hung up he cursed. He needed to deal with Matt and he needed to be with Lita. Tomorrow, he'd talk to Hardy, and then he'd fly straight out to where Lita was. He'd only be missing a couple of personal appearances, and the money he'd lose would be nothing. It was more important to be with her.