Title: Someday
Authors: Sara and Lizzie
Rating: T for language, sex, you know.
Disclaimer: We happen to own our personal anatomies, not Grey's. Or Patrick Dempsey's. Sadly.
Summary: Post As We Know It Oneshot. We just watched the episode and this popped into my head.
You should have known. And maybe you did. Because when you come downstairs and see him standing these, hands shoved in his pockets, you're not all that surprised.
You stand in front of him, because they way you feel when you're close to him reminds you that you're not dead. "Hey." You say, because you don't know what else to say.
"Hey." He whispers softly. "You almost died today."
You nod and mumble an answer. He used to speak eloquently. He used to tell you things that sounded beautiful. Now, it seemed like he could barely string a few words together in her presence.
Their speech was primitive now, primitive and limited. He looks at you for a long time, and then turns to leave. You don't know whether to scream or cry or laugh, so you say the thing that's been eating away at you.
"I can't…" he's back inside now. "I can't remember the last time we kissed." You hear yourself saying. All I could think about was I'm going to die today and I can't remember our last kiss. Which is pathetic, but the last time we were together and happy I … want to be able to remember that. And I can't Derek. I can't remember."
"I'm glad you didn't die today." He says. It's not much, but you feel it all the same. You turn to go back upstairs, because you just might have something to hang onto now.
Before you get out of his sight, he's talking again. It was a Thursday morning. You were wearing that ratty little Dartmouth t-shirt you look so good in. The one with the hole in the back of the neck. You'd just washed your hair and you smelled like some kind of flower. I was running late for surgery. You said you were gonna see me later and you leaned to me, you put your hand on my chest and you kissed me. Soft. Was quick, Kind of like a habit. You know, like we'd do it every day for the rest of our lives. You went back to reading the newspaper and I went to work. That was the last time we kissed."
You feel like you might cry, because there it is. The Derek speech. It's relatively simple, but beautiful all at the same time. It makes you sad, because that speech is not yours to hear anymore, but it comforts you, it makes you feel warm again.
He starts to leave again, and you can't bear to seem him walk away. You mutter something about lavender, and then you see it.
His look changes and you see what you've been looking for. There's something in his glance that you know is him making sure you know. That someday you'll kiss him again. Like it's a habit.
You look at him, with a hint of quizzical on your face, because you need to see it again. And when he smiles and nods this time, you know you were right. He leaves, and you go back upstairs, but you're smiling.
Maybe not today, or tomorrow, and maybe not this month, or even this year, but someday. Someday you'll get the chance to kiss him. Every day. For the rest of your life.
Maybe when he talks to you, it's limited and sparse. But when he looked at you just then, you saw everything he wasn't saying.
And in the darkness of your room, the horrific day you had fades away, as you decide that for Derek, you can wait.