Smile Though Your Heart Is Breaking Part 2
Eight years, ten months, thirteen days later Jack smiled. He smiled as he shook hands with all his wife's relations as they poured through the door offering him their condolences for the departure of her life. She had borne a terrible illness and passed away. At peace last week. Jack walked through the throng of people crowding his average sized house and out into the back yard, he pursed his lips thinking back to the graveyard scene, where he had kept a supporting arm about his….their…his and Sherry….his wife…his deceased wife's…..their son, their only child, Joe.
Joe was eight and Jack had watched the silent tears of grief as they trickled down the boy's face and even at this time of great sorrow, still she was there. At a time when all he should be thinking of was his wife. His son. The family. Their close friends. All he could think about was Sue.
He hadn't seen her or had word of her really for years. She still worked in DC or so he supposed. He had transferred to Milwaukee, Wisconsin after his first year of married life in an attempt to forget her completely, of course it didn't work. It never worked not thinking about her. He thought of her as he last saw her, he guessed that she had probably changed a little by now. The last thing he had heard was from Bobby before he himself went to work in the London office having fallen in love with some British girl, then Bobby had told him that Sue had had a daughter, who Jack surmised would be about a year younger than Joe. He wondered what her kids looked like before forcing himself back to what he should be truly thinking about. Today.
Jack conjured up a picture of his wife Sherry, a picture of her before she had fallen ill in his mind's eye. He missed her and would miss her there was no doubt about that, he had even loved her, but not with the intensity, the chemistry, the passion, the entirety that he had loved Sue. He would miss Sherry's smile in the morning, he always woke up to her smiling at him and he wished in that moment that he could have loved her as completely as she had loved and cherished him, but he hadn't, he couldn't and for that he felt as though he had let not only her down, but Joe down too.
Joe was their pride and joy, he was bright, gregarious and full of fun,. Even now Jack watched as he played tag with his cousins, his younger cousins who belonged to Sherry's side of the family, His cousins on Jack's side were older, young adults now to be precise. Jack's Mom and Dad had given up hope of Jack being a father by the time he actually became one.
For that he was glad, that he had been given the chance to have a child, to bring up a child with a woman who did hold a place in his heart and always would. She just wasn't the woman he thought would be the mother of his child. That woman, Sue, who still haunted his dreams, even now. It was moment before he felt the small hand in his and he looked down to see Joe, his expression troubled, worried for his father who had seemed so strong, so mighty since his Mom had been taken from their lives. Joe blinked back more tears, he was not a boy to cry much but since last week that was all he wanted to do. Dad had said that was good to cry, in fact Joe for the first time was with his father who cried as he told Joe that Sherry, his Mommy was dead. Joe had never seen his Dad cry ever before that, even all the times Mom had cried when they knew that she was not going to be able to watch his grow up, graduate from school, go to college, get married have children of his own.
Joe smiled encouragingly at his Dad, his small hand squeezing the larger one gently, no words spoken, no words were necessary. Jack did the only thing he could, he smiled.
Six months, four weeks and thirty days later Sue walked away a single woman, today she was legally divorced. Her mother had been shamed apparently, that Sue had failed to keep her man. Sue sought refuge in the refines of her car before she broke down and cried, for the incalculable time that day. She cried for all the years that she had had with her husband, good times or she thought they had been, she sniffed. She sighed she knew there had been good times amongst all the pain and hurt. The children were testimony to that Dan was twelve, almost thirteen, Kate , seven, a joy to her broken heart. It was sad that her husband could throw them all away, like an empty package of potato chips. He wasn't really interested in access for the children and was only going to see them in school vacations. She surmised correctly that this probably had more to do with the woman who had stolen him away from her. The much younger, high motivated career woman who in three months would become his second wife. Sue was so upset that today she had reverted back to her maiden name.
She guessed she should have known better, she hadn't much experience when it came to men and she felt like a failure unable to keep the one she had. It was then that she thought of Jack. Jack Hudson, she thought of him now and again, of what might have been, but what never was, she hoped that wherever he was he was happy. The last thing she had heard about him was that he had become a father, that was years ago. She smiled to herself and sent him a special prayer, that he might be happy, and if he wasn't that he might find happiness.
Before she knew it she was outside Kate's school waiting for the kids to come rushing out. Kate was first, which wasn't surprising, she liked school but she preferred to be at home, she was a little shy and had found this transition between her parents hard to bear. Sue having got out of the car knelt as Kate flung her small arms round her Mom for a big bear hug. They went to collect Dan next. Dan usually took the bus home, but because all three of them knew that today was the day Dad was no longer officially part of the family with whom they lived, they were going out for pizza…not to celebrate as they all loved him….but to talk about how they felt and just to have some 'new' family time together, with Craven, their Mom's hearing dog. Dan slid into the car as discreetly as he could trying to look as cool as was possible when your Mom had parked close to school instead of round the corner like he had asked. He guessed she had forgotten, he knew this was hard on her and so for once didn't whinge about it. She turned and looked at her son beside her, he suddenly looked grown up, well not completely but he was almost a teenager and he most certainly looked that. He smiled as he greeted her thinking she looked tired and stressed and she did the only thing she could think of, she smiled back and knew everything was going to be alright.
The End