I was determined to help Jasper with the guilt, the only problem was that I had no idea how I was going to do it. There wasn't a guide for how to stop someone from feeling guilty and preventing that guilt from affecting them deeper.
My first thought was distraction. I couldn't distract Jasper immediately, not while he was draining the human and not while we had to dispose of the bodies, but I did my best from that point on. Instead of letting him stop and think about what he was doing I would try to get him talking, get him thinking about something other than what we had done. The first time we had gone hunting after the night in the tree, Peter had come up to us as soon as got back and Jasper took the opportunity to slip away, back to the pond to sulk in the guilt like he was accustomed to. I quickly split away from Peter and his questions to chase after Jasper.
He was sitting in the tree on the same overhanging branch that I had found him on before. Like before I gave him the chance to acknowledge me before scaling the tree and taking a seat next to him. After a few moments my patience wore thin and instead of trying to make conversation I reached over and push Jasper off the branch, sending him plummeting into the water below. I laughed at the immasculine noise he made at the unexpected action just before he hit the water. The splash was big, almost managing to get me wet on the branch hanging above.
When Jasper surfaced he spit a mouthful of water and wiped the water from his face before looking up and glaring at me. The fact he looked like an angry wet cat did nothing to stop my laughter and after a moment he cracked a smile as well before racing out of the pond. Able to guess what he was going to try to do, I scurried back toward the trunk of the tree, jumping down as Jasper started to climb toward me and taking off through the trees to try to out run him. I knew I could disappear with just a thought but that wasn't the point of this and having Jasper fully distracted and happy enough to smile brought that warm sensation to my chest and I didn't want to ruin it.
I raced through the trees for a while before Jasper's longer strides managed to get him close enough to get his arms wrapped around my waist, pulling my feet off the ground and stopping any chance I had of getting away from him. I was still laughing as I wiggled, trying to get free and I relished it as Jasper's chuckle rumbled through his chest. I squealed as Jasper threw me over his shoulder and turned, running back in the direction of the pond. I continued to fight as Jasper closed in on the pond, the two of us passing Peter and Charlotte as they raced to see what was the matter. Both looking surprised and then laughing along as they realized what was happening.
Jasper stopped at the edge of the pond and pulled me from his shoulder, attempting to launch me into the water, but I managed to get a hold on his arms before he could let go and we both ended up falling into the water. I surfaced first and grinned at the raucous Peter and Charlotte were making as they laughed at the two of us. Jasper came up next and I took the opportunity to splash water at him before racing for the bank. Jasper spluttered before growling and coming after me.
"I take it that didn't go as you expected it to, Jas?" Peter called and Jasper made a gesture with his hand as he scaled the bank and continued his pursuit. My laughter continued as I scaled a tree and climbed to a branch the could barely hold me and watched as Jasper followed me. Jasper scowled as he realized that the tree wouldn't allow him to get to me without breaking first, but he seemed to come up with a quick solution for that as he rammed his elbow into the tree and sending a crack through the trunk that had the top of the tree toppling with me in it. I bailed from the branch to a neighboring tree but Jasper was already there and caught me. I squealed and put up a small fight, but couldn't stop the laughter as Jasper grinned at having caught me again.
"I didn't realize you could be such a devilish woman, Abilene." Jasper teased and I continued to laugh.
"I have to get my entertainment somewhere." I replied with a broad grin that had him barking a laugh of his own. He jumped down from the tree with me in his arms, sparing a short glance at our companions as they laughed at our antics before leaning down to whisper in my ear.
"I'm going to let you go, run behind Peter and Charlotte, I'll chase you and when we're both behind them we'll push them in the water while they're caught unaware." I giggled and nodded. Jasper pressed a kiss to my check before releasing his hold on me. I took off, sprinting to the left of Peter and Charlotte before circling to the tree behind them, Jasper gave a snarl and I could hear his pursuit. Peter gave a chuckle, the beginning of a taunt on his lips when he froze. Seeing the sign that his gift was kicking in, I sprang from the tree and pushed hard against Charlotte's back while Jasper did the same to Peter before he had the opportunity to use his gift to his advantage and dodge the attack. Both went flying into the pond with a large splash, the wave was still chaotic with the waves from their abrupt entrance to the water when they resurfaced. Charlotte was spitting the water that she'd had the misfortune of catching in her mouth while Peter glared at Jasper and I as we leaned against each other for support as we laughed.
"You two are going to regret this." Peter growled out, though it did little to halt our mirth. The small upturn of his lips giving away that he wasn't as upset as he wanted us to believe. He and Charlotte started for the bank and I grabbed a hold of Jasper's hand and dragged him behind me with a laugh. Peter and Charlotte gave chase as we weaved our way around the wilderness, up trees, around ponds, passed the rock face before I was starting to grow tired of the chase and grew determined to put some space between our pursuers and us, this would also give me the opportunity to show Jasper my second favorite place.
When we passed the rock face I made the same decision I had when I ran from learning of my ability. I pulled sharply, taking the lead to find the stream that at one time had been a river and followed the meandering line to the lake I had used to disappear before.
"Stay close." I warned before diving into the water with Jasper right behind me. I could feel Jasper as we swam deeper into the lake and then toward the entrance to the underground stream. The chance of Peter or Charlotte following us into the lake was slim and even if they did, it was unlikely that they would try following the stream without knowing where it led. Jasper followed close behind me, getting closer within the limited confines of the stream. He was by my side moments after pulling myself from the water and was looking around as I settled into a crevice to watch his reaction.
"Wow," His voice was soft, almost too quiet to hear as he took in the art that covered the walls. His fingers brushed the fish and other aquatic life I had spent countless hours recreating, seemingly lost for words as he studied them.
"This is the cave on the southern end?" Jasper whispered as he looked to me. I smiled, knowing well the odd feeling that you had to whisper when here. Not wanting to break the serenity that being here provided, I nodded my response.
"This is amazing." He whispered as his eyes went back to examining my work. I felt contentedness rise in my chest, the warmth filling me as I watched Jasper. I'd never shared this with another before. Granted I had told him of this place, but Jasper obviously hadn't searched it out. Peter and Charlotte were always too wrapped up in each other for more than general short conversations and the thought of bringing them here didn't sit right with me for some reason.
I leaned back into the rocks and let my eyes close with a sigh, just letting myself be wrapped up in the moment and the feeling of contented happiness. After several long moments, Jasper lowered himself to the ground and pulled me close. I made myself comfortable against his side, laying my head against his chest with another happy sigh. In that moment I almost felt like I could sleep, give in to the warmth of slumber and let my mind rest. Jasper's chin rested on the top of my head with his own contented sigh.
Sitting like this with a man was something I never would have expected for myself, not after the embrace of so many others that had made me feel dirty and lonelier than I had already been. But sitting with Jasper, like many other things, was different. Sitting like this didn't make my skin crawl, I didn't feel the need to wiggle and move away, instead I felt safe and relaxed into the hold, allowing his arms to bring me comfort and the contentedness that was so new to me. I imagined that it was the same for Jasper given that he didn't complain, more often it was he pulling me into his arms, resting his head on mine while allowing himself to just be.
I don't know how long we stayed curled up together like that or how long we stayed in the cave but when we finally pulled ourselves apart and left the cave it was dark again. The night was very much alive if you took the time to listen, the hoot of an owl in the distance, crickets in the grass chirping, frogs croaking and the howl of a pack of wolves miles away. I hadn't truly appreciated the night till I was changed, till I came here and these sounds had become my company.
"I used to think the night was quiet," Jasper mused and I turned to look at him questioningly. He smiled and wrapped his arm around my shoulders as he started to leisurely walk vaguely in the direction of the rock face.
"Back when I was human, before I joined the army I remember laying in bed at night and the only sounds that would disturb the silence were the crackling of the wood fire or the occasional snore. After I enlisted, the days were so loud, the banging of drums, the deafening boom of canons and rifle fire, men yelling, even the days not spent in battle, the banging of equipment or cookery as they were cleaning, horse's hooves and creaking wagon wheels, the noises of people bustling around and the moans from the sick or wounded. The days were always so full of noise, but at night the silence was almost as deafening. The men would eventually all make it to their tents and turn in for the night, in those hours the silence was an audible noise in your mind, almost like a ringing. It wasn't like now where you could hear the different animals, having been scared off by the noise of the battles and my hearing was too poor to hear the sounds of any nearby water." He explained and leaned further into his side, a small comfort for him as I watched his pensive expression ease as he looked back down at me.
"After Maria changed me there wasn't a quiet time. Nights were spent training and feeding while the day was spent containing the newborns, breaking up fights and quarrels before they could cause too much damage, more than a dozen vampires crammed into close quarters can create quite the racket. The night I left with Peter and Charlotte was the first time I had known quiet and at moments silence since I had been human. It was bizarre and yet I relished the familiarity of it. Then they brought me here and I don't think these trees have ever witnessed anything other than peace, something I wish I could say for myself." Jasper's eyes looked up at the tall trees that surrounded us with a small smile and I allowed myself to smile as well.
"I think we've both earned ourselves a little peace." I said gently and I felt more than heard Jasper's hum before his lips met my hair.
"I'd like to think so." Jasper mused.
We could hear Peter and Charlotte talking and Jasper steered away from the rock face and toward the sound of their voices. It sounded like the two were arguing about something and my steps faltered, uncertain about walking up on them while they argued. Jasper seemed unaffected but made sure to step on a stick to alert them to our presence before we got close enough to hear whatever they were arguing about. Both were looking in out direction when we broke through the trees, Peter looked relieved but Charlotte looked angry. Jasper stopped just inside the clearing while I hung back in the tree line. His eyes looking between the arguing couple.
"Everything alright?" Jasper asked, Peter started to nod till Charlotte glared at him.
"Char and I are not seeing eye to eye on a topic, nothing to worry about." Peter assured and Charlotte scoffed. The mixed signals was setting me on edge, Jasper's hold on my hand was the only thing keeping me from leaving the couple to figure things out on their own.
"You know, maybe Jasper and Abilene can weigh in on our discussion?" Charlotte snapped at Peter. Peter started to protest, but Charlotte wasn't paying him any mind as she turned to us.
"I'd like to travel, use the time that has been granted to us to see the world. Peter thinks it would be a lovely idea, but at a later date." Charlotte's anger was getting more and more present in her speech with each word. Jasper now looked concerned as his eyes flickered between the two.
"I fail to see how Abilene and I could assist in this situation." I could hear the uncertainty in his words and feared Charlotte's anger was going to become physical at any moment.
"You see, that's the thing. You and Abilene are Peter's reason for postponement. His loyalty to you has once again entrapped us, Major." Charlotte sneered the title and Jasper visibly cringed at the word.
"Peter feels that we must remain for moral support. What do you think, Major?Is our presence required?" Charlotte was seething and Jasper's eyes no longer darted between the two, instead now he held Peter's gaze.
"I don't think I have properly shown my gratitude for what you and Charlotte did for me." Jasper said softly and the pained expression that had been on Peter's face melted to confusion.
"Jasper, you've thanked us many times..." Peter started, but Jasper shook his head, letting go of my hand to walk closer to Peter.
"I know I have verbally told you many times, but it appears my actions have not accurately shown my appreciation. If they had I don't think we'd be having this conversation right now. I feel as if I've let you down." Peter was shaking his head, but Jasper kept talking.
"I must have for you to feel this level of concern about leaving. I know there is nothing I can do to physically repay you for what you have done for me, but I would do anything to aid in your happiness, it's the very least I can do. I never want to stand in your way of that." Peter stepped forward, setting his hand on Jasper's shoulder.
"I feel that we have both misunderstood." Peter said with a small smile.
"I know of your gratitude, I have felt it in your moments of happiness since coming here. I never expected repayment, I always thought of going back for you and bringing you here to feel the happiness we had found was my repayment to you for allowing us to escape. When Charlotte brought up the idea of traveling, I asked her to wait. Not because of anything you have or haven't done, but because I wanted to ask you two to come along with us and I know that would not be an easy decision for Abi. I look to both of you as siblings and the thought of leaving you behind didn't sit right with me. I wanted to discuss it with you, to bring it up and let you think about it, to find a way to make the decision easier. I know if one of you didn't want to leave that the other would stay behind." Peter explained and the warm feeling came to my chest at his intentions. I stepped into the clearing more and Peter looked to me.
"I may not know the inner workings of your mind, Abi, but I know how long it took you to come to trust us and to care for us as we care for you. This place has meant so much to you for so long that asking you to leave was not something to take lightly. I know the two of us leaving by ourselves is an option, that returning would be possible as we travel, but I didn't want you to ever feel that we would abandon you. I know it went against your instincts to let us in and I didn't want to throw that away." Peter said and I felt the sudden urge to do something I'd never done before. I ran across the clearing and wrapped my arms around Peter's neck, pulling him close. His arms wrapped around my shoulders and we stood like that for a moment before pulling away.
"I'm willing to listen."