Thanks for the nicest rewiews ever, I really didnt thinj You would like that, but most of You people even wanted to continue, so here it goes The little red ridingrhood part two

Ps: special thanks for encouragement go to: DaysOfTheNight, J Luc Pitard, Nagini The Moon Godess, ashley, True Phantom, Neogami and the last but not the least walverina the vampire.

Yours Truly,

Morality

Addition to the crew!

Blitz Zorn – the barman

Due to the departure of my reckless servant, I, Integra Fairbrook Wingates Hellsing, the leader of top secret vampire hunting organization, a full righted member of the council of twelve or protestant knights, knighted by Her majesty will have to tell this tale and try to correct some of the flaws he had so irresponsibly allowed.

The story went on somewhat correctly until that mushroom thing started.

Being the latitudinarian person she was, Seras continued her path through the dark forest and only full moon was illuminating her way as she went. Then all of a sudden the big creature came out of shadows frightening her. She screamed and dropped her basket The next person she saw was Swhrödinger of the foe camp, who tried to lure her in and extract the information needed for his commander – Major, who had dozed off in the eternal sleep and nobody knew how to awaken him except for us of course. Officer Seras tried to start the negotiations with the creature in order to settle matters diplomatically and without revealing our plans. Luckily Paladin Alexander Anderson, who had yet again overstepped the boundaries of the Izcariot – Hellsing treaty and set a foot on protestant ground in order to do my job, appeared on the scene and settled the matters his way, first of all barging in and disturbing the conversation between the two.

Alucard (ME) – Hullo master, I'm baack, oh no don't tell me you've taken the control over MY story. No honestly master, this is sabotage.

Integra – You know that you're the most irresponsible person I've ever known and I simply couldn't allow you to spoil the story like this.

ME – Moi? The irresponsible person? Listen, I went through a hell-like day, D-A-Y, you realize that the sun was shining and all don't you? Searching through pet shops for all items I need to de – verminate Seras and I am the irresponsible one? Tell me Master when was the last time you cared about my health?

Integra – I thought you didn't have parasites.

I REALLY shuddered

ME – Well, no, but still, I'd appreciate the gesture.

Now after I've retrieved my rights to tell this story, forget all the evil witch said. Speaking of the incapability of story telling she didn't cover even a half of it and left the spicy bits out.

Integra – Are you questioning my authority?

ME - Go run an organization or something, this story is my business.

Integra – Grumble.

Master, would you remind me where I finished?

Integra- You went to a pet shop didn't you?

Oh yes, right, Sears was mussing Captain up. But Schrödinger creature had gotten really jealous and started complaining

Schrödinger – Hey, don't leave me out!

Captain – ", "

Seras – Away with you beast!

Poor transvestite-feline creature started to sob and my druggie of a fledgling started pitying him.

Seras – come here you big lump of a nazi.

She hugged him and said

Seras – Ok Fluffy, let's go for a drink You're treating, where's the nearest bar?

Captain – ",---"

Schrödinger – Nope, we raided it last week, there surely will be no vegetarians there.

Captain – " ?"

Schrödinger – That's a good idea, what do you think bat girl?

Seras – Yes, what the bunny said. But I have no money on me.

Schrödinger – No problem, we know the barman.

So this way did Seras get herself into trouble, what happened to the basket of cookies you ask? Well, Alexander Anderson was searching the woods in order to find Schrödinger and captain.

Dossier

Captain Hans, nickname – Captain, but friends call him fuzzy. Special marks – elevated hairiness and disturbingly gaping gaze, talks in ",". Usually wears old fashioned battle uniforms with stuff hanging from them.

Dangerousness – vicious, cruel, easily disturbed, hates when people stare at him.

Incrimination: War criminal, cattle rustler and formidable door slammer.

Warrant Officer Schrödinger, nickname cat boy, but fans call him Schrö. Special marks - enormous wooly ears, misleading appearance of youth of an unidentified gender, inborn dental problems. Wears tight shorts, a shirt and a tie.

Dangerousness - vicious, cruel, extremely disturbing

Incrimination: War criminal, Thought invasion, exhibitionism (entrail showing), littering

But, being the lunatic the priest was, he scared them away. He's a lousy hunter, I must admit. Do you know what his trump move is? He runs at his target screaming (Die heretic! Or something along those lines) loudly and swinging his unreasonable stake knives.

Now tell me what would You do if you were being sneaked upon by a screaming madman? Mark my words, sneaked upon, oh and he really needs a breath mint, badly, last time I met him, he released a toxic attack at me, I'm speaking of garlic here people!

Integra – Servant, you're loosing your trace of thought. Alexander Anderson was the one who found the basket of cookies, abandoned by Seras.

Fine, so Anderson ate the cookies which were meant for Enrico aka Margaret. Now I will let the chef speak, I have no idea what he had put in those.

Walter – Well If my memory serves me right, there were aqua, benzene, butylpharabenes, izomethylen, stearyl ether, trisodium EDTA and . .

ME – Walter, weren't you reading your shaving cream ingredients?

Walter - oops, silly me - strychnine, E132, E334, flour, E167, E153, sugar, E494, LSD, DDT, E112, purgative and some other ingredients which cause inadequate behaviour

Thank you Walter, you're genius when it comes to spoiling food. Besides, where do you keepgetting that stuff?

Walter – The black market? This is a special recipe handed down by generations in my family.

Yeah, well it is a good thing I refused solid food a while ago.

Anyhow Seras arrived at bar, "The prancing Millennium" with her two worshipers and Pip – her faithful hallucination.

Blitz – What can I give you?

Dossier

Blitz Zorn, nickname Donnerwetter, but friends call her cuddles. Special marks – the left side of body covered by tattoos, never buttons her pants, eyes differ in colour, walks around with a gigantic scythe and has an eye on the left palm. Wears undone pants, black turtleneck and combat boots.

Dangerousness – Very disturbing, vicious, cruel, unbalanced, has insectophobia, goes bonkers when somebody asks her why she never buttons her pants.

Incrimination – War criminal, formidable swinger, illegal lawn mower.

Donnerwetter! – shit! Translation from german

Ok this is part two If it is intriguing enough, let me know, and oh, besides, I hope You have nothing against insane priest strippers.