Dont cry for me Argentina. Ok this is the last chapter, Dont be upset, besides it will all make perfect sense in the end. Never question my sanity.

Sainly Yours

Morality

Jingle

Good evening my dear appetizers, you're listening to Hellsing radio live. It's me, your never-dying host and today's guest in our studio is a hard to die killer, half human – half butler the monocle man, please give a warm welcome to Walter CDornez!

Walter is presently a trusted retainer of Hellsing organization, former nr2 hitman of the aforesaid organization. His hobbies are cooking and inventing deadly gadgets. He dislikes Nazis and squirrels. AAAnd just for You, ladies, he's still single.

Now Walter, tell our audience, what you do to gain such good completion.

Walter – Alucard, I really don't think you should be using that.

Walter, come, don't be shy or are you about to take your secret to the grave?

Walter – Integras going to be mad.

Oh, you're not telling. Geesh, Walter, you're such a mysterious man.

Anywhoo now is the time for our commercial. (Yes, police girl, just read what's written on the paper)

Seras – Um, the instructions on using the gadget, pleasure guaranteed. Add some lubrication if needed. Turn the gadget on, by means of pushing the On button and insert it . . .

No no not that one, hehe em, this is only a prototype. (Innocent smile, sweatdrop, blush) honestly, PG (police girl) shame on you.

Seras – oops (evil smile)

Oh Serass who knew you were soo creative (Dirty smile)

Seras – Um, right, master, THAT can wait, the commercial.

Jingle

Are you annoyed by your thoughtless neighbours, are they driving you crazy?

If the only way you think of them is – bloody monsters!

Don't hesitate, call Hellsing extinguishing squad now!

We also take care of sick relatives, pets and cattle.

BeforeUsingTheProfessionalHelpFromHellsingsAndPartnersPleaseReadTheInstructionsListedOrContactYourDoctorForMoreInformationIfNotHellsingAndPartnersCarriesNoResponsibilityForTheConsequencesYouMightFace

Jingle

Good, Seras, that was a piece of useful information, I surely would use the help of this institution to get rid of several blondes, but I have no doctor, I mean, I had, many, but sadly all of them have determined that I'm irreversibly dead and cannot be cured. Medicine nowadays, sheesh, but what are you gonna do.

OK this hour special in Our studio is the weekly addition of Confessions of the Priest.

Andersen – Grraaaaah

I'll take it as " I'm pleased to meet you."

Andersen – release me, you spawn of hell.

My, my priest, we're on air. So let's drop our little misunderstandings and get to the point shall we?

Andersen – I'm not getting anywhere with you!

You mean you love me too?

Andersen – All I feel for you is HATE!

You want to be my mate?

Andersen – Stop you darn thing!

You want me to be your king?

Andersen – Stop pretending you don't hear

You want to touch me where?

Andersen – (mumbles profanities in latin)

The door bursts open

Integra – ALUCARD!

Andersen – Thank You Lord

Alucard – yeEEES

Integra – Alucard, release the priest, let Walter and Seras tend to their duties AND STOP USING MY RADIO TRANSMITTER!

Oh no, our mane office has been sabotaged!SOS, MAYDAY, MAYDAY!! Anybody out there HEEELP!!!

Interga – Stop showing off and GET THE HELL OUT OF MY OFFICE and take your Nazi plush toys with you!

In the hall

Pip – hey, red, you were awesome!

Yah, I told you I would and besides, you've lost our little bet and you know what this means.

Next day

Pip(dressed up as a French maid) – Is that all?

Let me see – you've hunted down all rodents in the basement.

Pip – using a dinner fork

Polished my coffin?

Pip – yes

Offered police girl your services?

Pip (rubbing several bruises) – she refused them.

Sang the French anthem during the morning warm – up of the troops?

Pip – I'll be the laughing stock of my men for the rest of my life.

Good there is he last chore I would like you to do for me and you'll be free to go

Pip – Sigh.

Rob the blood bank

Pip – Wha?

You heard me, Integras put me on the involuntary diet for sneaking into her office, using her microphone and insulting the half of the staff including her. Now hurry up, I'm getting hungry.

Pip – Sigh, never make bets with the devil.

Soo whos insane now? Hhhaahah hah hha hahhahah hahahah oops OO not me :D

So how did you like it?

And yes PIP AND ALUCARD HELD THE BET AND PIP LOST SO HE HAD TO DO ALL THAT STUFF trust your eyes they dont decieve you.