After vacations and recovery from those vacations, I'm back with all the feeeeeels! I don't know if I'd classify it as angst per se, but there are a lot of feels in this chapter. But also some comfort because, well, it's me, and I'm incapable of writing without adding some fluff and happiness. Anyway, hope you enjoy the feels and fluff that comes after! Mando'a translations in the end notes.
Summary: It's the first anniversary of Satine's death since Iyla came to the temple. Obi-Wan is struggling more this time being faced with a tiny reminder of his lost love every day. Anakin and Ahsoka discuss this and Iyla overhears and misunderstands. This starts a quest to erase all similarities between herself and Satine in order to make her Papa happy again.
Chapter 19: Anniversary
This year hurt a little more. Of course it hurt all the time. Like a dull ache that had taken up residence in his heart and chest permanently. But there were times when the ache got stronger and the grief harder to release. Times such as this.
The anniversary of Satine's death had snuck up on him. He didn't keep track of it or pay attention to it, but a randomly sleepless night full of unsettling feelings and nagging grief reminded him. His emotions had been out of whack and he didn't understand why. It was then that he noticed the date.
Oh.
That was why.
The past two anniversaries were full of pain and heart ache but this one, this one was different. This was the first anniversary of Satine's death since Iyla had come into his life. It seemed to sting a bit more now that Iyla was here. His constant reminder of his precious Satine and the almost identical smile to hers that both warmed and broke his heart every day. The way her face turned serious and her head cocked to the side in thought. Much like her mother when she was puzzling out a solution to a problem. The golden strands in her hair that stood out among the auburn when the sun hit it just right. The shape of her jaw and lips, strong and soft at the same time, a combination that described his cyar'ika to a tee. As much as Iyla resembled him, she had so much of Satine in her too. And he was seeing it more every day. Something that both pained him and sustained him as he traveled his road of grief.
Most days it made him smile and the bittersweet feeling rose up to mingle with the sheer delight that he was blessed enough to have this precious reminder of his true love. Most days it was bearable. A fleeting sadness quickly pushed down by Iyla's bright Force presence and warm giggles.
But other days. Days like this, the sadness lingered and festered and the bittersweet feelings clashed with his delight and thankfulness. Days like this when it hurt him to look at the bright grin and soft curves of her tiny mouth. When the simple act of looking at him with her wide and serious eyes nearly tore his heart to pieces. For not only was it the anniversary of the day he lost his true love, but it was the anniversary of the day Iyla lost her mother. A mother she never got to know. A mother she resembled so strongly in her brightest moments and whose best qualities she had inherited. A mother who loved her enough to give her up to protect her even knowing that she might never see her again.
Not only did he mourn the love he lost but also the love Iyla lost as well. His mesh'la nau'ika. Bright and warm and pure. His constant reminder of Satine. He also found himself mourning for Satine. That she never got to know her beautiful little girl. That she never got to experience the warm giggles and dimpled smile. She never got to cuddle, snuggle, or hug the little one she helped create. To kiss her soft curls or nuzzle her smooth round cheeks. To hear her sweet voice say 'wuv you' and feel her sloppy kiss on her nose. Satine would never get to see their little one grow up and that pained him just as much.
So, on this day, Obi-Wan found himself mourning three-fold for the family that never was and never would be. The family they all deserved.
He started his day in meditation. Deep deep meditation. For once actually rising before Iyla, mostly due to his inability to sleep. He could feel the tether hooks of his self-control and emotional stability starting to loosen and he needed to reinforce them. Immediately. He was dangerously reaching the breaking point and he couldn't afford that. He had a whole day ahead of him full of responsibilities and duties to perform. Plus he had a little life to take care of and be strong for. He needed to keep up appearances for Iyla. Pretend like it was any other day. He refused to pull her into his grief and burden her with his pain. She was a child and it was his job to protect her and shield her, even if that meant shielding her from her own father. Iyla didn't need to spend the whole day miserable or worrying about him.
His little light was more perceptive than he thought though, as was always the case. Her enhanced empathetic tendencies, born of repressed emotion and unspoken feelings pounded into her at that Force-forsaken orphanage, allowed for her to feel and sense things most 4-year-olds wouldn't. What was her survival instinct for years became her strength in the Force. And unfortunately for him, the one she was most sensitive to.
"What's wrong, Papa?" she enquired of him as he helped buckle her boots and fix her belt.
Obi-Wan winced slightly and looked away. His shields were tight and immovable and still she sensed his pain. He marveled at her perceptiveness while cursing it at the same time. He'd need to deflect and find a good explanation.
"I'm alright, dear. Just a little tired. I didn't sleep well last night," he said. It wasn't technically a lie.
"Maybe you need more cowfeen. And a nap," Iyla concluded with a firm nod.
"Good idea, love," he smiled. "I'll try both."
Iyla seemed satisfied with this and bounced off to grab her backpack from the small hook next to the door.
He dropped her off at the crèche and released his pain at seeing her wide smile as she wished him a "good day wif the cowsul," then bounced off to find her friends. He didn't need to be at a meeting right away so he sought out peace and stability in the Room of a Thousand Fountains.
He had mediated for a good 20 minutes before his peace was interrupted by two arguing familiar voices.
"The reverse grip is only effective in close combat situations, Snips. In a standard duel it won't really give an advantage."
"You're just saying that because your reverse grip is bantha crap."
"It is not!"
"Is so! I could beat you soundly in close combat with my reverse grip."
"No way!"
"Yes, way," Obi-Wan answered with his eyes still closed.
"Master!" Anakin and Ahsoka gasped.
"Sorry. I didn't mean to startle you. I just thought I'd give my input into the conversation that interrupted my meditation," he grinned and opened his eyes.
"Sorry, Master Obi-Wan. But Skyguy is under the impression that his reverse grip can beat mine. Naturally I had to set him straight," Ahsoka said.
"Naturally," Obi-Wan replied. "It is sometimes necessary for the Padawan to set the Master straight."
"Hey!" Anakin squawked.
Ahsoka smiled smugly at Anakin and raised her chin. Anakin rolled his eyes and shook his head.
"No meetings today, Master?" Anakin asked Obi-Wan who was getting to his feet.
"Not yet at least. I seem to have a free morning. Unfortunately," he said the last part under his breath.
Anakin caught it though. "Unfortunately?" he asked. "What's wrong?"
Obi-Wan sighed. "Nothin, Anakin. Just a bad day."
"But the day's just started Master Obi-Wan," Ahsoka pointed out.
Obi-Wan smirked. "That it has, Padawan. I'm just a bit tired today."
"Well, maybe more meditation will help you rest a bit then you have plenty of time to have a better day," Ahsoka smiled at him encouragingly.
"Thank you, young one," Obi-Wan smiled back looking a bit sad. "I will try that," he bowed to them both and walked away to find another spot to meditate.
"That was odd," Anakin commented as Obi-Wan walked toward a group of trees.
Ahsoka shrugged. "Not really, Master Obi-Wan is frequently tired."
"Not that. He seemed more than tired. He seemed…upset. Sad and hurting in a way."
"How do you know?"
"I've known him a long time, Snips. He thinks I can't read him when he's shielding but he doesn't realize that it's the extreme shielding that tips me off. He shields so hard that I can read him. That doesn't make any sense but I can't explain it any other way."
"Well, what do you think is wrong?"
"I don't know. Last time I saw him shielding this heavily was…" Anakin's eyes widened.
"What?" Ahsoka asked looking alarmed.
"I wonder…what's the date?" he muttered to himself and scrambled to get out his datapad from his robe.
"The date?" Ahsoka asked. "What does that-"
"Kriff!" Anakin exclaimed cutting her off. "I know what's wrong with Obi-Wan."
Today was Iyla's favorite day. It was the one day a week that the Crèche Masters took them to the Room of a Thousand Fountains. Of course, she'd been here many many times but she still loved going with her friends and getting to run around by the fountains and among the flowers. It also meant a longer playtime than they usually got in the crèche gardens and if they were lucky some Knights and Masters might stop by and teach them a new Force trick or two. Iyla had learned how to skip a rock from a visiting Master one time. Basically, Thousand Fountains Day, as she referred to it, was the best day of the week. The only thing that would make it even better was if her Papa was there with her. Everything was better with her Papa.
She thought back to that morning when he seemed sad. He said he was tired but she knew he was also a little bit sad and just didn't want to say. But why was he sad? Maybe he had a bad dream or had to go to a meeting instead of going to the gardens like he loved to do. Or maybe he didn't like his tea or ran out of caff. Sometimes grown-ups needed caffeine to be happy. Her Uncle Anakin had told her that once. Whatever it was, her Papa would need lots of hugs and kisses when he came to pick her up for dinner. He always says her hugs and kisses could make anyone feel better. She started to plan an evening of making her Papa happy when her friends found her.
"You're 'sposed ta hide, Iyla. That's why it's called Hide and Seek," Flynn said with his hands on his hips.
"Sorry, I got 'stracted," Iyla replied.
"Why are you 'stracted?" Nari asked.
"Just finking 'bout how to make Papa happy."
"Is Master Nobi sad?" Shona asked.
"Yeah, he was sad in the morning but I not know why and he not telled me. But I know he is sad so I gotta make him better when he's done wif his meetings."
"We can help you fink of ideas," Nari suggested.
"Yeah, I got lotsa good ideas. Master Alann says so," Flynn boasted.
"You have good ideas 'bout games to play, Flynn," Shona said rolling her eyes.
Flynn huffed. "Maybe a game could make Master Nobi feel better. You never know, Shona," he said and stuck out his tongue.
Shona stuck her tongue out back at him.
"Guys, focus," Nari scolded. "Iyla needs help making Masser Nobi better."
"Sorry," Flynn and Shona said looking ashamed.
"Ok, here's some fings Papa likes," Iyla began.
The foursome spent the next five minutes coming up with ideas for Iyla to use later to help cheer up her Papa. She felt pretty good about their ideas and stored them away in her brain then ran off to resume their game of hide and seek.
She found a small space between a tree and a bush and settled down to wait for Flynn to find her. She started to get bored and took to pulling at the grass until she heard some familiar voices.
"I can't believe today is the day. I totally missed it. Usually I pay attention and I'm able to keep him occupied and keep his mind off of it," Anakin said sounding frustrated.
"It's ok, Master. It's not your fault," Ahsoka said.
"I know, kiddo, but this year is different," Anakin insisted.
"How so?"
"This is the first anniversary of Satine's death that Obi-Wan has had to go through since getting Iyla. It's…it's probably ten times as hard this year than before."
Iyla, still in her hiding place, stared out at them with wide eyes. Papa was sad about Mama? And it had something to do with her.
"It's harder this year because Iyla reminds him so much of the Duchess, right?" Ahsoka asked.
"Yeah. I mean, he pretty much has a constant reminder of her with him all the time. She really does have Satine's smile. I didn't see it much. Only when she was around Obi-Wan and they didn't know I was watching."
"It is a great smile," Ahsoka replied.
"Yes, it is. But also painful for him to see all the time, I'd imagine."
"And she has the same shade of blonde in her hair that the Duchess had too. And her facial structure," Ahsoka pointed out.
"Plus all the personality stuff as well."
"You're right, Master. It must be very hard for him today. Having someone around who looks and acts so much like the Duchess has to add extra pain and sadness to this anniversary."
"Exactly. Obi-Wan is a private person and he doesn't like to talk about his feelings but I know this year is tearing him apart more than usual," Anakin said.
"Let's ask Padme to make his favorite dinner tonight and invite him and Iyla over. As a distraction and an attempt to cheer him up."
"Great idea, Snips! I know Padme would be up for helping. Let's go ask her. Then I'll soundly beat you in a spar using reverse grip only."
"In your dreams, Master," Ahsoka teased.
Iyla waited until they were gone before crawling out from her hiding place. She sat back against the tree with her knees pulled to her chest. She bit her lip and blinked back her tears as she thought about what she'd just heard.
Her Papa was sad about Mama. And it was her fault. She looked and acted too much like her Mama and it hurt him. And today was a day that he was more sad than normal. Something about an anniversary of when her Mama went away. And how it was even more bad for her Papa because she was here with him.
"I don't think you unnerstad this game, Iyla," Flynn said coming around a corner. "You need ta hide."
Iyla looked up at him and frowned then stood up and hugged her chest. "I don't feel like playin' no more," she said.
"Why? Cuz you lost?" Flynn asked with his hands on his hips.
"No! Acause I just don't wanna, ok?"
"Ok, ok. Fine. Stay here and be in a bad mood. I'm gonna go have fun."
Iyla scowled at him as he left then slumped her shoulders and kicked the dirt around the base of the tree.
"Why the long face, little one?" Master Terrol asked coming to stand next to her.
"I'm sad, Masser," she replied.
"I can see that, dear. Want to tell me what's wrong and why you aren't playing like the other children?"
Iyla shrugged and looked away. Master Terrol took a seat on the ground and patted the spot beside him invitingly. Iyla sat down next to him and started pulling at the grass again.
"Let's not pull out the grass, little one. Talking is better than taking out our emotions on objects or beings. Now, what is troubling you?"
"Masser Tewwol, what's a anner…anver…avernersery?" she asked.
Master Terrol looked confused at her question. "An anniversary?" he asked.
"Yeah, that. What is it?"
"Well, it's something that happens every year and usually to celebrate or remember something that happened in the past. Like a lifeday is the anniversary of when someone was born. Or when we have Yule. That's an anniversary of the first Yule celebrated many years ago."
"So, it's to member somefing that happened in the past?"
"Yes. And it can be a celebration or a special occasion or-"
"Or somefing sad too?"
"Yes. There are anniversaries of sad things too," Master Terrol said.
"Like…like when someone goed away to the Fowce?" Iyla asked quietly.
Master Terrol looked at the somber girl next to him with concerned eyes. "Where did you hear about anniversaries of when people go to the Force, Iyla?"
Iyla looked to be holding back tears as she fiddled with her tunic hem. She shrugged silently and looked at the bald patch of grass she'd been picking at earlier. Master Terrol put a hand on her back and began to rub soothing circles up and down it. This had Iyla scrambling to sit in his lap and lay her head on his chest. He smiled at her as she started to grab on to one of his head tails and rub it between her fingers.
"I heared Unka A'kin telling Soka it's the avernersary of when Mama goed to the Fowce and that's why Papa is sad today."
"I see. That is sad to think about. I'm very sorry, little one. This is a difficult day for you and your Papa."
"But Unka A'kin said it's even more diffgult for Papa acause I memind him of Mama lots and it makes him more sadder. So…so it's my fault Papa is so sad," Iyla said with a sniffle.
"No, no, Iyla. It's not your fault at all, dear. It's just a sad day. It's not because of you."
"But Papa not be so sad if I not here wif him. Acause I smile like Mama and gots some of her hair and her face strujers and persalidy. And that huwts Papa lots," she said looking miserable.
"Those are all things that make you so special to your Papa, little one. I'm sure he loves seeing your Mama in you."
Iyla continued to play with Master Terrol's blue lekku. "If I not look like Mama then Papa not be sad no more, right Masser Tewwol?" she asked quietly.
"No, young one. Looking like your Mama makes your Papa happy. I know it does. It might be sad for him to think about your Mama but you don't make him sad. Not how you look or your personality. Nothing about you could ever make him sad."
Iyla stayed silent and leaned into him more. He felt her even breathing against his chest as he rubbed her back and smiled to himself.
"It's nearly time for a nap. Let's go back to the crèche and get some rest, hmmm?"
"Kay," Iyla said and latched on to his tunic as he stood up. It was a testament to her gloomy mood that she didn't protest at the idea of a nap. Master Terrol frowned at the uncharacteristic cooperation from the girl and decided to mention their discussion to Master Alann when they got back. Perhaps between the both of them, they could bring the little Kenobi out of her sadness.
Obi-Wan's patience was wearing thin. It seemed that word had gotten around to his friends about a certain anniversary. By lunch time he was at his wits end with sympathetic looks and people tiptoeing around him for fear that he'd have an emotional breakdown or something. He scoffed to himself. As if that would ever happen. Don't his friends know him by now? All morning they were hovering, coddling, and pitying him and he couldn't take it anymore. He'd even lied about needing the 'fresher during a break from meetings just so he could get out of the room and away from the sad smiles.
He figured he'd have better luck at lunch by sitting alone and avoiding people but when he saw Anakin and Ahsoka he knew it wasn't to be. He tried to duck away so they wouldn't see him but Ahsoka shouted his name and waved him over. He winced then plastered on a smile and walked over to sit with them.
"Are you feeling better, Master?" Ahsoka asked politely.
"Yes, much better," he lied.
Both Anakin and Ahsoka shared a look and clearly didn't believe him.
"Hey, Master…" Anakin began hesitantly.
Obi-Wan sighed. Here it comes.
"I know this is a difficult day for you and-"
"Anakin," he said.
"No, Master. Hear me out. I know this is a hard day for you and I'm not here to give you pity or force you to face your emotions because, well, we all know that would never work, but Ahsoka and I are here for you. Just, know that, ok?"
Obi-Wan wanted to be annoyed but he did appreciate Anakin not trying to coddle him like everyone else was.
"Thank you, Anakin. I appreciate it."
"Padme's making nerf steaks tonight if you and Iyla want to come over," he mentioned causally.
Obi-Wan smirked. His favorite dinner. Of course. But it was a kind gesture.
"That sounds lovely, Anakin. Thank you."
"You're welcome. I…I know how difficult this year is for you compared to the others. Since Iyla is here now and all. I'm sure it can be a little…"
"Bittersweet?" Obi-Wan asked with a sad smile. "Very much so. But she's also the reason I've made it this far. It does hurt a bit more, but I know I'll be alright as long as I have her here."
"And you have us as well," Ahsoka said reaching for his hand. "We'll always be around to make you feel better."
"Oh, I've seen your idea of 'making me feel better' little one and I'll pass," he smirked.
"Hey! I'm not that bad. Skyguy's the one who always gets us into trouble! It's not my fault my Master is crazy!"
"Watch it, Snips. I can make you run laps around the temple instead of sparring."
"Yes, you'd know all about running laps, wouldn't you, Anakin?" Obi-Wan sassed.
"Master! You're supposed to be supportive of me in my teaching practices," Anakin pouted.
Obi-Wan snorted. "Says who?"
Ahsoka laughed and swiped a fry from Anakin's plate. He scowled at her and scowled at his former Master as well.
"Well, if I'm a menace then it's only because I learned from the best. Master Qui-Gon has many many stories about your Padawan days, Master. And it seems to run in the family. Iyla attracts trouble just as much as I do, if not more," he pointed out.
"Yes, but Iyla is four," Obi-Wan countered. "Oh, wait, perhaps that is an accurate comparison after all."
"You're uninvited to dinner," Anakin said sticking his tongue out at him. "Padme will understand why. She'll back me up."
"Oh, Padawan, don't fool yourself. Padme will be on my side."
Anakin didn't reply but he did smile a bit. It was true. Padme would definitely be on Obi-Wan's side.
"Now, are you two going to actually do some training today or just sit here and interrupt my quiet lunch?"
"Hmm, nah, interrupting sounds good," Anakin joked.
Obi-Wan rolled his eyes and shook his head.
"Come one, Snips, let's go do some training. Of your legs. Two laps around the temple perimeter."
"Maaaaster!" Ahsoka whined.
Anakin caught Obi-Wan's eye and smiled. Obi-Wan responded with a nod and a feeling of thankfulness across their bond. The distraction had worked and was appreciated.
"Qui-Gon always made it three," he winked.
"Even better," Anakin smirked then chased after his Padawan to assign the extra lap.
Iyla woke up from her nap still feeling down and guilty. She couldn't help but think about her Uncle and Ahsoka's conversation and the thought that she might be the reason her Papa is so sad. Suddenly the ideas that she and her friends came up with to cheer him up didn't seem like such good ideas anymore. Something she told them at snack time.
"We gots to get new ideas for makin' Papa happy," she said while munching on her cracker.
"Why?" Flynn asked with his mouth full.
"Acause I know why Papa is sad," she replied.
"Why's he sad?" Nari asked.
"Acause of me," Iyla replied looking down at the table.
"Did you do somefing bad?" Nari asked again.
"No…I don't fink so. But I maked him sad."
"How come?" Shona asked. "If you didn't do nothing wrong then how did you make him sad?"
"Acause of the avernersery. It's Mama's avernersery of going to the Fowce and I memind Papa of Mama lots so he's more sadder today."
"Avernersery?" Flynn asked.
"Masser Tewwol said it means to member somefing that happened in the past. Like when Mama goed away."
"So, Master Nobi is sad cuz you look like your Mama and it's the anversary of her going to the Force?" Shona asked.
"Yeah, acause I gots her smile and her hair and her face and I act like her too. So that makes Papa sad. So we gots to do somefing diff'rent to make Papa feel bettew."
Shona looked thoughtful for a moment. "Maybe…maybe if you didn't look like your Mama your Papa won't be sad anymore."
"Yeah, like maybe don't smile no more," Flynn said. "Just be super serious."
Iyla nodded and agreed with him putting on a serious face to start getting used to it.
"And we can change your hair," Nari said. "Make you not look like your Mama."
"That's a good idea," Iyla said. "But how we gonna do that?"
"I got an idea," Shona smirked.
The four friends finished their snacks quickly and ran out to gardens. Shona led them over to the small pond and a puddle of mud beside it.
"You gonna put mud in my hair?" Iyla asked raising an eyebrow.
"Yeah, on the yellow parts."
"Or on all of it," Flynn said looking excited to play with mud.
"Maybe all of it just in case," Iyla agreed.
She took a seat in the dirt and sat still as her friends started to smear her hair with dark brown mud. She tried not to smile as they got into a mud fight after Flynn flicked his hand at Nari and a glob of mud hit her in the face. Shona rolled her eyes and continued to cover her curls in thick dirt.
"Done!" she said at last snapping Nari and Flynn from their mud battle.
"Wow, your hair looks so diff'rent!" Nari said.
"Good," Iyla replied. "So now I not smile and my hair is diff'rent. But…I still gots Mama's face. I still look like her!"
"We can't change your face," Nari replied. "It might huwt you."
"Yeah, that's not safe," Shona agreed.
Iyla looked sadly at the ground. "Then Papa's still gonna be sad."
"Not if we change your skin," Flynn said with a grin.
"My skin?" Iyla asked looking confused.
"We can paint your skin to be a different color. Then you really won't look like your Mama."
"But what color are we gonna paint my skin? Maybe orange like Soka? Or blue like Masser Tewwol?"
"Or maybe green! Like Nari!" Shona suggested.
Nari's eyes lit up at the prospect of her best friend looking like her. "Gween skin is vewy cool, Iyla," she said.
"Gween skin is so cool! I wanna be gween like Nawi!" Iyla said excitedly.
"Great, let's go!" Shona said leading the way to the craft room.
What the younglings didn't think about was the mud dripping from Iyla's hair leaving a trail of muddy footprints from the garden to the craft room alerting their Crèche Masters and Padawan volunteers that something wasn't right.
Iyla couldn't help but giggle when the cold paint hit her skin. She quickly dropped the smile though and went back to being serious. Her arms and hands were covered in green paint and her neck was being painted by Nari who was telling her about all the cool things that came with having green skin. Shona carefully smeared paint on her face and made sure her eyes and mouth were closed so she didn't get any in there. A bit of it went up Iyla's nose and she sneezed getting specks of green paint all over the floor and her tunic. Flynn started laughing and Shona did as well and soon all four of them were giggling hysterically.
The sound of their laughs and the muddy footprints led a Padawan volunteer to catch them in the act. The Nautolan boy's mouth dropped open at the sight of the green child covered in paint and mud and the other three getting green handprints and footprints all over the chairs and tables as they worked to cover their friend from head to toe, literally, for the little girl had taken off her boots and socks and was painting her own feet as well. He watched in shock for a moment before running off to find a Master to help.
Ali Alann joked the first time around that Kenobi would drive him to an early retirement, but now that the second Kenobi came along, that possibility was looking more and more like a reality. He took in the sight of the green painted child with dark mud caked in her hair and wondered how he had angered the Force enough for it to make him suffer through a second round of Kenobi hijinks. A big part of him wanted to laugh at the guilty swamp creature looking girl but his fearsome teacher instincts took over and he simply shot them all a look that had the group scrambling out of the craft room and straight into his office.
He passed Terrol on the way and couldn't look the chuckling Twi'lek directly in the eye for fear that he'd start laughing as well. There was never a dull moment in the crèche.
"We was gonna clean it up, Master," Flynn burst out as soon and Alann opened the door.
"The cleaning up is not the problem, Flynn," he replied. "The problem is that you covered a crèchemate in mud and paint."
"It was to help Masser Nobi," Nari interjected. "To help him not be sad no more."
"How…? Never mind, we'll get to that. Can anyone tell me who the mastermind was behind this whole thing?" he asked looking at each child.
"It was my idea, Master," Shona said bravely with her head held high. "I sujested we change Iyla's hair."
"And I sujesded we paint her skin." Flynn replied.
"And I helped," Nari spoke up raising her chin.
Master Alann turned to look at Iyla who was twirling a piece of muddy hair between her green stained fingers and looking at the ground.
"Iyla," he said getting her attention.
Iyla snapped her head up to look at him, her big blue eyes standing out even more against the green skin.
"Why did you let your friends put mud in your hair and paint your skin green?" he asked trying to hold back a snort. He made a mental note to file that one away under 'things he never thought he'd say.'
"Like Nawi said. We was doin' it to help Papa," she said seriously.
"How does this help your Papa, Iyla?" he asked.
"Acause now I not look like Mama so I not make him sad on the avernersery."
Master Alann felt his heart clench in his chest. Terrol had told him about his conversation with Iyla in the gardens earlier and how Iyla came to the conclusion that Obi-Wan was sad that she looked too much like her mother.
"Oh, little one," he sighed sadly. "Your Papa isn't sad that you look like your Mama."
"Yeah-huh. I heared Unka A'kin and Soka talking 'bout it. Papa is sad acause of Mama's avernersery of goin' to the Fowce and I maked it even more sad acause I memind him of her. So that's why I let them change my hair and skin. So I not look like Mama no more. Then Papa can be happy."
"Iyla, sweetheart, I know you think-"
"Not fink! I know, Masser!"
"Ok, ok, we can discuss it later. For now, I need to take care of the mess and the discipline."
"Dizplin means we're in trouble, right?" Flynn asked.
"Yes, Flynn. There needs to be consequences for using the paint without asking and playing in the mud unsupervised."
"Are you gonna tell Papa I was b-bad?" Iyla asked with a sniffle. "I not mean to be bad. I was twying to help him! P-Pease don't t-tell Papa!" she said starting to cry.
"It wasn't Iyla's fault, Master!" Shona spoke up. "If you gotta punish people, punish us instead. Iyla was just trying to make Master Nobi better!"
"We can't make Masser Nobi even more sadder on the avernersery!" Nari exclaimed looking teary eyed.
"Relax my young ones," Ali said raising his hands up. "I won't be punishing Iyla. But Master Kenobi does need to know. I cannot send his daughter home covered in mud and green paint without telling him about it first."
"But-" Flynn protested.
"I will hear nothing more about it. I want the three of you to go wash yourselves off and start to help Master Terrol clean the craft room."
"What 'bout Iyla? Is she gonna be ok?" Flynn asked looking worried.
"Iyla will stay here with me and she will be fine, Flynn. Don't worry. Now, off to clean up," Alann said signaling for them to leave.
Each one of them shot Iyla a sad look before scurrying out of the room.
"Papa's gonna be s-so d-dispoinid," Iyla muttered hugging her arms to her chest.
"I think once you explain it to him, he will be more understanding, little one. Now, I need to make a call then we can work on getting you all cleaned up," Master Alann said turning to grab his comm.
Iyla watched as the Crèche Master dialed her Papa's comm frequency and heard the familiar 'Kenobi' come through the line. Master Alann spoke quietly enough that she couldn't hear what he said but she wasn't really focusing on it either. She was focusing on the last part of what he'd said, get you all cleaned up. He was going to make her wash off the paint and the mud! Because of course paint and mud wash off. Of course it wasn't going to stay forever. Eventually she wouldn't be green anymore and her hair would go back to having the yellow strands from her Mama. Then she'd look like her again and her Papa would be sad forever. She couldn't let him wash her off. She had to try to stay green and muddy for as long as possible. Her Papa's happiness depended on it.
She looked up and saw Master Alann turn his back a bit to whisper to her Papa through the comm and she knew this was her chance. She had to get away. As quickly and as silently as she could she slipped from the room and ran for the crèche door. She heard an alarm going off and Master Terrol's voice calling her back but still she ran. She couldn't get clean. She had to get away and make sure no one washed her off. She had to hide. Where no one would look for her and her Papa would never be able to find her. Somewhere he never went and really didn't like.
Iyla ran frantically for the Healing Halls.
"Kenobi," Obi-Wan answered just as he was standing up from his council chair.
"Hello, Obi-Wan. It's Master Alann."
Obi-Wan sighed and brought a hand to his face. "What happened now, Ali?"
He heard a few Councilors snort and chuckle behind him.
"There was an incident with Iyla and her friends. They were found in the craft room by a Padawan volunteer and were painting Iyla's skin green."
Depa threw her head back in laughter and Kit commented on the nice choice of skin color.
"Her hair was also covered in mud," Ali added with a hint of amusement.
There was silence for a moment as Obi-Wan stood there with furrowed eyebrows and contemplated what he'd heard.
"Why?" he asked. "What in the world were they thinking?"
"She had a very…interesting reason for it all," Alann replied.
"Oh, I can't wait to hear it," he groaned. "What could she possibly have said to justify covering herself in mud and paint?"
There was a pause. "The children said they were trying to make you feel better."
"What? Make me feel better? What's wrong with me exactly?" Obi-Wan asked.
"Iyla noticed you were sad and they wanted to help make you happy again."
"By playing in mud and paint?"
"Iyla said she did it for you because…"
"Ali?"
"Because she was trying not to look like her mother anymore. She found out about the anniversary of the Duchess' death and heard Master Skywalker and Padawan Tano talking about how much she looked like her mother and how much it hurts you and…"
Obi-Wan's breath caught in his throat and everything around him went still. He barely registered his colleagues quietly leaving the room to give him privacy, a few of them lightly touching his shoulder in comfort as they walked by. He collapsed back into his chair and set the comm down then put his head in his hands. He let out a shaky breath and closed his eyes.
"Obi-Wan?" Ali asked after a minute.
"Yes, I…I'm still here," he said quietly.
"I'll keep Iyla here for as long as you need. Take your time. I'll get her cleaned up and I can talk to her if you…"
"No," Obi-Wan replied. "No, it's alright. I'll be there in a few minutes. This is something I need to deal with myself. Thank you, Ali. For…for letting me know."
"Of course, Obi-Wan. I'll tell Iyla that you're-" his voice was cut off by a loud blaring alarm.
Obi-Wan winced and sat up. "What's that? Is that the crèche alarm? Did someone…oh no. It's Iyla isn't it?"
"She must have slipped out when I turned away for a second. Damn Kenobis," Ali muttered.
"I'd take offense to that but this time I agree," Obi-Wan said smiling a bit.
"We'll find her, Obi-Wan. She can't have gotten far."
"I'll inform some Masters to be on the lookout as well. I'm sure a bright green muddy crècheling running around won't be hard to spot."
"Agreed. I'll let you know if we find her."
Iyla was eventually found in the Healing Halls hiding inside a vent in one of the exam rooms. A screeching Padawan who was there for a routine checkup alerted everyone in the vicinity that there was a "swamp creature" in the vents and it was coming out to eat him.
Bant Eerin went to investigate the Padawan's claims and was surprised to see a paint covered Iyla Kenobi peeking out at her. She helped the youngling out of the vent and sat her on the exam table to keep a better eye on her while she called Obi-Wan.
"I found your swamp creature," she said with a chuckle.
"She's in the Halls?" he asked.
"Yes. Scared a poor Padawan to death. I'll keep her here and make sure she doesn't escape again."
"Thanks, Bant. I'll be there soon."
"Papa's gonna come?" Iyla asked after Bant hung up.
"Yes, little one. Your Papa has been looking for you," she replied.
"Oh no! I maked him mad on the avernersery! I 'sposed to make him happy!" Iyla said lip wobbling.
"The anniversary?" Bant asked.
"Mamas avernersery in the Fowce. Papa is sad and I just wanted to make him happy but now I maked it worser and everyfing is bad!"
"Oh, Iyla, it's alright. Everything is not bad. Your Papa is on his way and it will be cleared up and fixed soon."
Iyla lowered her head and didn't respond, fear and anxiety swirling around her and filling the small room.
A knock at the door had the chaotic emotions heightening. Bant answered the door and whispered something before Obi-Wan walked in.
"Hello, darling," he greeted carefully.
"'Lo, Papa," Iyla muttered.
"You've had quite the adventure this afternoon haven't you?"
"Yes, Papa."
"And how did you end up in the Halls, little one?"
"I comed here."
Bant hid her smile behind her webbed hand.
"Yes, I know that. But why the Halls?"
"Acause I wanted to go where you not find me. And you not like the healers so you not check here," Iyla reasoned.
Bant didn't even try to hide her chuckle this time and Obi-Wan laughed a bit as well.
"Very clever, my love," he replied. "Now, do you want to tell me why you look like you've just emerged from the swamps of Dagobah? Are you trying to look like a muddy Master Yoda?"
Iyla couldn't help the smile that broke out on her face at the thought of the small Master covered in mud, but she remembered her decision to not smile and quickly put on a straight face again.
Obi-Wan noticed her quick change and frowned. "Come here, dear. Let me see you in all of your muddy green glory," he said waving her over.
Iyla obediently climbed down from the exam table and came to stand in front of him. Obi-Wan hid his amusement as he looked her over from head to toe. She really did look like a swamp creature with her hair crusted in drying mud, some of which was mixing with the green paint along her forehead and ears. She was barefoot and her feet were half green and half brown from the chunks of mud that had flowed down from the ends of her hair. She looked completely ridiculous and he would have started laughing if it wasn't for the miserable and heartbroken look on her face. He brought a finger up to rub her cheek and accidentally brushed her neck. He expected her to giggle and pull away but she just winced and held back her smile.
"What's wrong, my darling? Did your smile get painted away too?" he asked.
Iyla shook her head and looked at the ground.
"Well, I'd like to see it again if you can get it to come out, please."
"I can't," she replied.
"Why not?"
"Acause it looks like Mama and you gonna be sad," she said quietly.
Obi-Wan's stomach clenched and he sighed and cupped her cheek.
"Bant, could you give us a moment, please?" he asked.
"Yes, of course. Take as long as you need," she said before leaving the room.
"Sowwy I maked you sad. I not mean to! I wanna make you happy but I messed it up," Iyla sniffled.
"You didn't mess anything up, my love," Obi-Wan said bringing a hand up to stroke her hair only to get his fingers stuck in the goopy mess.
"Yes I did! I was 'sposed to make you feel bettew 'bout the avernersery!"
"Darling…it isn't your job to make me feel better," Obi-Wan said looking sad.
"But I wanna. And see, you look sad again and it's m-my f-fault!" she said starting to cry.
"It's not your fault, Iyla," he replied.
"Uh-huh! I look like Mama lots and I g-gots her hair and her face and…and her smile and Unka A'kin said you h-huwt more this time acause of m-me," Iyla hiccupped, tears making tracks down her face and smearing the paint.
Obi-Wan reached out to wipe the tears and got paint on his fingers as he did but he didn't care. His baby girl was hurting and needed his comfort. He didn't want to lie to her. He was hurting, but it was not her fault. Not at all. And it never would be. He could never blame an innocent child for his grief and pain. It wasn't Iyla's fault that she resembled Satine. She couldn't help it. And it was something he loved about her. How much she resembled her mother. Even as it hurt his heart, it also warmed it at the same time. If only he could find a way to explain the concept of 'bittersweet' to a 4-year-old to help her understand the situation.
"Iyla Satine," he said looking her in the eye. "I am not sad because of you. You make me happy everyday and the fact that you look like your mother is the greatest blessing of my life."
Iyla looked confused. "But…Soka and Unka A'kin said…"
"I know what they said and what you heard. And they are not wrong, but they are not right either," Obi-Wan said.
"That makes no sense," Iyla said scrunching up her nose in confusion.
Obi-Wan chuckled. "Let's get you cleaned up first and we can have a chat, alright?"
Iyla frowned and bit her lip. "But then I'll look like Mama again."
"And I wouldn't want in any other way, love. Now, I think someone needs a very long bath and a good scrubbing. I don't care much for the green."
"I picked gween acause then I can look like Nawi!" Iyla said.
"Well, green is fine for Nari but I much prefer you the way you were before."
"Ok, Papa," Iyla said latching on to him as he picked her up. "I can walk all by myself, Papa," Iyla said.
"Yes, but you don't have any shoes or socks on, my dear," he replied.
"Oh yeah, I forgotted," she said giggling.
"There's my favorite smile," he said bringing his fingers up to her neck to tickle her.
"You silly," Iyla grinned brightly.
"You're the one who looks like a swamp creature. So I'd say you're pretty silly too."
"But you even more sillier than me."
"I am not," Obi-Wan protested faking hurt.
"Yes! Are too!" Iyla smiled.
"No."
"Yes!"
"No."
"Yes times a million infinity!" Iyla countered back.
"Darn. You win," Obi-Wan conceded.
Iyla did a silent cheer in his arms and he laughed as they made their way back to their quarters. They got some weird looks and a few Padawans stopped to stare at them. They were attracting attention but Obi-Wan only had eyes for his bright little light. He soaked in her laughter and her smiles and let it fill him up. He'd need the strength to get through their post-bath conversation. He knew it would be emotional and difficult for both of them. But necessary all the same.
The 'fresher looked like a disaster struck by the time Iyla's bath was done. The tub, sink, and floor all had smudges of green paint and brown mud on them. Obi-Wan contemplated cleaning it right away but figured he'd be able to get it done quicker and more efficiently after Iyla was in bed for the night. Although they hadn't had dinner yet and the mess would stay there for a few more hours, Obi-Wan willed himself to walk away and leave it for the time being, even though it was painful to do so.
Iyla was wrapped in her flowered blanket as she sat on the couch and played with her stuffed animals. Obi-Wan had said they needed to talk but he was dreading it. He still wasn't sure how to explain things to her and wasn't sure if he was emotionally ready to have this conversation. But, as a father, his needs come second to hers. He'd have to find the strength and the words to explain it. He couldn't let her go on thinking that looking like Satine was a bad thing. He had to put aside his reluctance and anxiety for his daughter's sake. That was part of being a parent, as he'd been learning a lot recently.
"Papa, Bawney and Stella gonna go on a 'venture! They gots to get ready and I'm gonna help them," Iyla said focusing on the bantha and tooka in her hands.
Clearly she had moved on from being sad when faced with a nice bath, warm blanket, and some toys. Obi-Wan envied her innocence and resilience. He hated to put a stop to it but if he didn't now, then he never would. He had finally worked up the nerve and it needed to be done now.
"That sounds lovely, darling. But, Iyla," he said.
"Yes?" she replied looking up at him with her big blue eyes, her head tilted to the side curiously.
He took a steadying breath because damn if she didn't look just like Satine in that moment. This was going to be way harder than he thought.
"We need to have a talk about what happened today," he said patting the space beside him on Qui-Gon's old armchair.
Iyla shrunk back and hugged her arms to her chest. "Am I in twouble?" she asked miserably.
"No, my love. I understand why you felt the need to do what you did. But I do want to talk about it, ok?"
Iyla looked at him anxiously then slowly nodded her head.
"Come and sit with me," he said holding out his hand.
Iyla took it and let him lead her over to the armchair. She immediately curled up next to him and laid her head on his shoulder.
"Are you still sad?" she asked hesitantly.
"I…yes. Yes, I am sad," Obi-Wan replied honestly.
"Acause of me?" she whispered.
"Never, my little light," he replied fiercely sending her love and affection through the Force.
"Then how come you sad? You miss Mama lots?"
"Yes, dear. I do miss your Mama. Especially today."
"Acause it's the avernersery," Iyla stated.
"It is. And anniversaries can be sad."
"Masser Tewwol tolded me that too. He said it's to member somefing from a long time ago and it can be a happy or sad fing."
"Master Terrol is very smart," Obi-Wan smiled. "But sometimes an anniversary can be both."
"Bof?" Iyla asked looking up at him with furrowed eyebrows.
"Yes, both happy and sad at the same time."
Iyla stayed silent and continued to look confused. Obi-Wan knew that at her age, the notions of happy and sad were two opposite feelings that couldn't exist together as one. He doubted she'd really understand the concept but he felt the need to try to explain it anyway. If only just to help her get rid of her misplaced guilt.
"It might be hard to understand, but a person can be happy and sad at the same time," he said.
"How?" she asked blinking innocently at him.
"Well…" he began. "Let's use what you heard today as an example. You heard Anakin and Ahsoka saying that this anniversary is harder for me because you are here, right?"
"Uh-huh. They said you even more sadder this time."
"And they are right."
Iyla lowered her eyes to her lap. "Sowwy," she whispered.
"No, darling. No apologies. Just listen. I am sadder this year because you are here but it is not because of you or your fault. I am sadder this year because I'm thinking about how much you miss your Mama as well and how happy she would be to see you grow up. I'm sad because now there are two people to miss her and the sadness is twice as much."
"But I memind you of Mama too," Iyla said.
"You do. But that is something I love about you and I would never ever wish for you to look different than you do now. It makes me so happy to have such a beautiful little girl who shines like her mother. Your smile and your laughter are my favorite things in all the galaxy and I never want them to go away. I am blessed to have my own little version of your Mama and I'm so thankful that you're here with me, Iyla," Obi-Wan said shifting so he could look her in the eyes even as his own were getting misty.
"But you still sad," Iyla said seeing his tears. "You look at me and you get sad. I know it."
Obi-Wan brushed a damp curl from her face. "It's only because I miss your Mama so much. I…it's hard to…I will always be sad that your Mama is gone, love. That's just how it is and how it always will be. But, even though this anniversary hurts me more than last year, it is so special as well. Do you know why?"
Iyla shook her head.
"Because this year I have you."
"But…"
"You, my beautiful darling, have made me happier than I've ever been since your Mama went away. You have shown me that I can be alright without her. You have helped me feel better so many times when I was sad."
"I did?"
"Yes, because whenever I am sad about your Mama, all I have to do is see your smile or get a hug or a kiss or snuggle from you and the bad feelings go away. You make them go away, my love. You, with your Mama's smile, her gold hair, her warm and kind heart. It helps me feel like she's still here with me. And the pain in my heart starts to go away."
"You gots pain in your heawt?" Iyla asked looking alarmingly at his chest.
"That's the sad feelings. They are there a lot. But the happy feelings are there too. That's you. You help me not feel the sad feelings," Obi-Wan said trying to simplify it for her.
"I do?" she asked looking wide-eyed.
"Yes, my Iyla Satine. You are my happy feelings. You push all the sad ones away when they start to hurt a lot."
"I'm like a healer for your heawt, Papa? I make the owies go away?"
Obi-Wan gave a shaky chuckle and hugged her close to his chest. "Every single day, sweetheart. You're my little heart healer and without you I'd…" he trailed off and swallowed heavily.
Iyla's hand reached up and stroked his cheek gently. "S'ok Papa. I'm not gonna go nowhere. I'm always gonna heal your heawt owies and give you lotsa hugs and kisses," she said before doing just that.
Obi-Wan closed his eyes against the tears that threatened to fall and savored her soft little lips on his cheek and her small arms wrapped around his chest. His throat felt tight and he couldn't speak for a moment for fear of breaking down.
"I'm gonna make sure you not be sad no more, Papa. Acause Mama not want you to be sad. I know it."
Obi-Wan smiled and cleared his throat. "I know it too, love. In fact," he said shifting her from his arms for a moment. "I have something I want to share with you."
"What is it?" Iyla asked sitting up higher in the armchair.
She watched as he rummaged around in a drawer of the nightstand next to them and pulled out a blue and grey leather bound book tied together with a string and stamped with a lily flower on the front. It looked to be old and worn out, pages starting to come loose, the spine creased after being opened so many times. Obi-Wan held it carefully and opened the leather binding to reveal a picture of someone who looked familiar.
"That's Mama!" Iyla exclaimed then scrambled to sit on his lap to get a better look.
"Yes, dear one. This is your Mama's journal. She wrote in it many times about all kinds of things. I've been reading through it and I found one that I want to read to you." He thumbed through the thin pages until he found one marked with a picture of a smiling baby with a head covered in curls and a single tooth poking out of its mouth. Iyla studied the picture then looked at the neat and loopy writing underneath it.
"Hey! That's my name! I-Y-L-A, Iyla!" she said excitedly.
"Very good, little one. It is your name. This is something your Mama wrote to you."
"Mama writed to me?" she asked looking shocked. "What does it say, Papa? Can you read it pease?"
"Of course, love," he replied wrapping one arm around her waist and holding the journal with the other. "It says, Ner mesh'la nau'ika," he paused. "That means 'my beautiful little light,'" he clarified.
"Little light! Just like you say!" Iyla grinned.
"Yes, exactly," he smiled the continued to read.
"Ner mesh'la nau'ika,
Today I saw you smile for the first time. How beautiful and wonderful a sight it was to my eyes and my hurting heart. It has been hard without your Papa. I have longed for him to meet you, for him to be here with us as a real family, for him to see you grow more and more every day. He's missing so much and I'm missing him. Today was difficult, ad'ika. I felt your Papa's absence deeply and I felt a hopelessness I'd not felt in a very long time. Hopelessness about this war, about Mandalore's future, about our family's future. So many things are confusing and uncertain right now and today it all felt heavy on my heart.
Until you smiled at me. Until I saw your bright eyes light up with happiness and your perfect little mouth open in a happy squeal. It was like music to my ears, cyar'ika. It made me feel lighter and suddenly, all of the hopelessness weighing me down disappeared. The pain, hurt, fear, and grief all vanished in the midst of your smile.
And I realized something. I realized that no matter how dark and terrible things may seem, you, my Iyla Satine, will always make it better. You will heal my hurts and mend my heart no matter how broken it is. You are my precious little savior, my amazing little light in the suffocating darkness that seems to creep ever closer. You brighten even the gloomiest of days. And, if ever I am weary and hurting, I will simply need to think about your precious smile and your warm eyes, so like your father's. Thank you, my darling, for saving me today and every day.
I love you with all of my heart, dear one. Darasuum."
"Wuv you too, Mama. Dawasoom," Iyla whispered faintly.
Obi-Wan didn't even realize he was crying until he tasted the salty tears on his lips. Iyla was silent against his chest and he thought she'd fallen asleep until he felt tiny fingers reach up and wipe his cheeks and eyes.
"I-I'm sorry, my love," he sniffled trying to get himself together.
"It's ok to cry when you are huwt, Papa," Iyla replied with a wisdom in her eyes far beyond her years. She knew he wasn't hurt physically but he was hurting all the same. His wonderful empathetic little one.
"Thank you, darling," he replied shakily.
"You welcome, Papa. I'm gonna make you feel bettew. Acause I'm your heawt healer."
"The best healer there is. The only one I actually like," he chuckled. Iyla giggled too and kissed his cheek.
Obi-Wan set the journal aside and settled his arm around Iyla's shoulders. They sat there silently for a bit, content in each other's company, both reflecting on everything that happened that afternoon. Obi-Wan rubbed Iyla's curls absentmindedly while she held his hand in hers and traced patterns on his palm.
"Papa…?" Iyla spoke up after a while.
"Yes, love?"
"I wanna make Mama somefing. Acause she writed me a note. But I not know how to write good. So maybe I make her a pishure instead?"
"I think that's a wonderful idea, dear one. How about we get some dinner first then you can work on your Mama's picture?" Obi-Wan suggested.
"Ok, Papa. I'm vewy hungwy!"
"I'm sure you are, little one. You missed lunch time when you were off pretending to be a swamp creature," he smiled.
"I not petending! I am a swamp keeture! And I'm gonna eat you!" she growled and buried herself into his chest pretending to eat his robe and tunics.
Obi-Wan played along, moaning and shouting for help as his fingers found her tickle spots and launched their attack. Iyla's squeals and giggles filled the living room as she was carried over Obi-Wan's shoulders to their bedroom to put on her boots.
Later that night, after the 'fresher had been cleaned of paint and dirt, after Iyla had fallen asleep, after goodnight kisses and hugs were given, Obi-Wan finally had time to sit and have some tea. He sank into the sofa with his cup and sighed appreciatively as he took a large sip of the glorious beverage. After a moment of relishing in the quiet and warmth, he set the cup down and went to reach for his datapad when a childish drawing caught his eye. Iyla's picture for Satine.
A small figure with messy orange and yellow curls stood in the middle with a healer bag and a big smile. Two larger figures stood on either side of her, one with a long robe and blue saber, and one with a crown of lily flowers and a turquoise gown. Both figures held misshaped hearts in their hands out to the smaller figure. Each figure was labeled, letters backwards and words misspelled. Papa, Mama, and, he smiled, Heelr Iyla.
He ran his fingers lightly over the figure labeled 'Mama' and closed his eyes. "I miss you, cyar'ika, my life and my love. My heart will continue to hurt but our baar'ur'ika will mend it when things get too painful. Thank you for our mesh'la nau'ika, darling. I don't know where I'd be without her. Ni kar'tayl gar darasuum, my Satine. Until we meet again," he smiled and wiped his eyes.
He drained the last of his tea and picked up the drawing to set it aside. They'd "give" it to Satine in the morning. He set his cup in the sink then waved off the lights and headed for bed.
A voice whispered back to him as he disappeared into his room. "I love you too, my Obi-Wan. Until we meet again."
Sorry not sorry about the sadness and feels. My next chapter was going to be angst-ridden but I try to be nice and break it up a bit. So next chapter we will be going back to Mandalore for a fun celebration and an official introduction of the Duchess' daughter. See you all next time and thank you for all of your kind words and support!
Mando'a Translations:
Cyar'ika-darling
Mesh'la nau'ika—beautiful little light
Ad'ika—little one
Darasuum—forever
Baar'ur'ika—little healer
Ni kar'tayl gar darasuum—I love you