Disclaimer: I still don't own them. God bless Ryan Murphy!
A/N:I don't know when the next time I'll be updating cause I'm not sure if anyone's actually reading this. Feedback would let me know. Thanks to those of you that have.
Part three
Brooke let out a frustrated growl it had been two weeks, and she was no closer to figuring out Sam's ever-elusive crush. Everyday she would watch the brunette and everyone she came in contact with, and every night she would read the journalist's updates. It seemed with the every passing day Sam's 'oblivious object of her affection' got closer and closer, and Brooke still had no clue who this phantom girl was. She'd pretty much narrowed it down to someone within their extended network, because Sam seemed to have constant contact with her. But who? Was it Lily? Carmen? Mary Cherry! Brooke scratched that last one. There was no way that Sam had that poor taste in women. Besides Mary Cherry was all 'over the moon' for Harrison like some bad Mariah Carey ballad.
To make matters worse, she knew that Sam was well aware of her watching her, but how subtle can a person be when they're trying to be all Nancy Drew about something. She'd scratched CIA operative off of her list of future careers a long time ago. Vague she could do, stealth, not so much. She was just lucky no one else seemed to have caught on. This couldn't go on for much longer. Someone was bound to notice, and she knew the brunette was burning to ask her what was up with her lately.
A part of her was upset that Sam still hadn't let her in to this part of her life. They were best friends, and Brooke was an open book as far as Sam was concerned. They'd been hanging out even more this week than ever before, and still nothing. Did Sam not trust her, even after all this time? The thought that the brunette might feel like she still needed to keep Brooke at arms' length bothered the blonde. Maybe she thought the Brooke wouldn't understand. Well, she would change that. They were going to the mall today, and maybe she could ease the brunette's theoretical fears a little.
"Brooke are you ready to go?" Sam called through her closed door, as she knocked.
"Yeah, just let me grab my purse." She replied jumping up from her bed and throwing on her sneakers. She grabbed her purse and headed out of the door.
"What do you think of this?" Brooke asked.
"I think that Mac's only an infant, and that little Britney Spears number is for a girl that's at least school age." Sam replied rolling her eyes.
"I know, but don't you ever get excited about one day being able to go shopping with her? Or having make believe tea parties?" Brooke said with a wistful smile.
"Oh yeah, the idea of shopping always fills me with such joy, and if Mac has that sort of a fashion sense, then what we put Mom and Mike through will seem like a cakewalk."
"Well, maybe that outfit was a bit extreme. But I've seen you with her. You're always telling her about the articles you're writing or the latest book you're reading. I know you get excited." Brooke said, thoroughly enjoying the shade of pink that now tinged the brunette's delicate features. Sam was so adorable sometimes; whoever this mystery girl was would be a fool if she turned Sam down.
"Well maybe I get a little excited thinking about taking to her first poetry reading or concert." Sam admitted as they walked through the aisles.
"What makes you think I won't be taking her to her first concert?"
"Uh oh, no way is my little sister going to be caught dead at some Ace of Base concert."
"Hey, Ace of Base is hot." Brooke replied playfully.
"Whatever you say, Princess." Sam said rolling her eyes.
They exited the children's clothing store and made their way to H&M. It was the only store in the mall that they actually agreed on. It suited Sam's pithy tee, walking poster child for Hot Topic, casual style, and Brooke's ultramodern, Prada-esque, Caroline Kennedy meets Gwyneth Paltrow sensibilities. Sam was immediately drawn to a pair of dark gray cargo style slacks and a long sleeve white shirt. She picked up a black and white t-shirt to go over top and held it up for Brooke's inspection.
"What do you think?"
"I think it's very…Sam McPherson." Brooke replied vaguely.
"What does that mean?"
"What do you mean what does that mean?"
"Is it a good thing or a bad thing?"
"What difference does it make? I think the outfit would suit you. That would be a good thing, right? I mean being Sam McPherson is a good thing, right?"
"Maybe, I guess I was just wondering if Sam McPherson might need some updating." Sam replied uncomfortably. She shifted from one foot to the other.
"Sam what's going on? Since when do you care what people think about your style?"
"I don't. Is it so wrong to just want to reinvent yourself?" She asked defensively.
"Of course not, but I don't know anyone that's as comfortable in their skin as you are. So again I'll ask what's going on?"
"Nothing's going on. I think maybe it's just time for a change."
"If you say so, but I personally don't think there's anything wrong with the Sam McPherson you are right now." Brooke said looking Sam up and down. You can't improve on perfection, she mused. She frowned at that thought. What was that supposed to mean?
"You really mean that?" Sam asked, interrupting Brooke's wayward thoughts.
"Of course I mean it. I think I spent enough time telling you the brutally honest truth for you to start questioning me about it now."
"True. I guess just figured upon the advent of our best friends status, that maybe you'd start sparing my feelings a little." Sam said with a little chuckle.
"Well what would be the point of that? You've already seen me at my absolute worse, and I've certainly seen you at yours. And we're still friends at the end of the day, because I know no matter what I say or what I do, you'll never judge me. I hope you feel the same about me." Brooke said pointedly. She saw the brunette shift uncomfortably for a moment before replying.
"Of course I know that. It's just some things are easier to say than others." Sam replied, and for a moment the blonde wondered if maybe Sam got the double meaning in her words. "I mean, before you would only tell me the 'brutally honest truth' to hurt my feelings, and we're not in that place anymore."
"No we're not, so believe me when I tell you I don't think you need to change a thing, except maybe for those bangs." Brooke teased, running her fingers through Sam's hair.
"Hey, they're not that bad! Besides, they're growing back." Sam replied ducking away from the blonde's hand.
Later that night, Brooke sat at her desk waiting for her computer to boot up and reflecting on the day's events. It was rare that anyone ever got to see the vulnerable, insecure part of Sam, and she was honored to have had such a privilege today. No one would ever suspect that it lurked under Sam's confident, independent, tough exoskeleton, but every now and again, a little crack would appear in the armor, and there it was, just below the surface. That part of Sam was unbelievable fragile, and Brooke was proud to have handled it so well. It had also given her the reason behind Sam's silence, and she would just have to be patient, and wait for her to be ready to say the words aloud.
When her computer was finished loading, she by passed checking her email or turning on her AIM, and went straight for 'Tippy's Journal.' It seemed that Sam had updated right after they'd gotten back from the mall. Brooke wondered when she'd even had the time between then and when Jane had called them down for dinner. She read through all the boring stuff about Sam's new outfits, after all she'd been there and knew what they looked like. She was surprised a 'crush update.' They hadn't run into anyone while they were out. Maybe Sam had seen her from afar or something. She was almost disappointed when it seemed all the brunette wanted to do was wax poetry about the mystery girl. Brooke didn't understand why the journalist's extolling of every one of the girl's virtues bugged her so much, but she chose to ignore it. Then something caught her baby hazels.
It has to be some sort of cruel joke when the one person you want to tell how you feel the most, is the one person you can't. She said such wonderful things to me today. I never thought she was the kind of girl that would like me just the way I am. Especially after we both spent so much time tearing each other down. If only she meant she liked me the way I like her.
That was odd. The girl had said pretty much the same things she'd told Sam earlier that day. Especially after we both spent so much time tearing each other down. Brooke frowned as she read that line again. Who had Sam spent time tearing down their self esteem, except…no, she couldn't mean? There was just no way that Sam meant…was there? She thought back over the entries she'd read. She had been staring at Sam a lot lately. She had dogged the brunette's every step. She had brushed up against Sam almost constantly for the past two weeks.
"Ohmygod, Sam has a crush on me!" Brooke gasped. How could she have not seen it? Well she knew how. Sam never really let on when she liked someone, but after she'd read the journal, how had she not seen it?
Now what am I going to do? This changes everything! Brooke thought desperately. It wasn't like now that she'd read it, she could just act like she hadn't. She could deal with Sam being gay, but she definitely couldn't deal with Sam having feelings for her. She wasn't like that. She liked guys, and Sam was just her best friend. She had to fix this.