disclaimer: if you dont no by now u shld! i do NOT own harry potter or any character featured in the books.

Chapter Four – smiles, voices and Snape.She looked at the gates, all memories good and bad invaded her mind. Dumbledore pushed open them open and the three of them walked through. They walked a few metres and she came to the quidditch pitch. She could hear all the laughing and jokes of all the other students. She could see her self, younger and happier, without a care in the world jumping up and down cheering Gryffindor on. She could remember how happy she was when Harry caught his first snitch, when Gryffindor won the cup. A tear escaped from her eye as she remembered how happy she was. She didn't have to worry about anything, taking a deep breath she continued behind the two.

The approached the Forbidden Forest and Hagrid's cabin. She thought of all the cups of tea and cakes that the trio shared there. All the adventures that they had always seemed to involve Hagrid one way or another. She similed to herself as she remembered the time Harry and her rushed to Hagrid when Ron was bringing up slugs. She turned away, the memory was too painful for her to remember. She didn't want to think of the old Hermione, too many things had changed since then.

Hagrid was watching from his cabin when he saw Dumbledore and McGonagal come through the gates. He saw a young girl behind them, he assumed this was Hermione. He knew that they had gone to rescue her. She had changed a lot, he almost didn't recognise her. He ran out of his cabin and shouted to them.

'Hermione!'

She turned to see that Hagrid called her. She saw him approaching, and an odd sense of relief and happiness spread through her.

'Hagrid!'

He came towards her ad scooped her up and in a bone-crushing hug.

'O, you're back 'mione, good ta see ya! I'm so 'appy you're safe. Been so worried see, thank god your back!'

'Hagrid, I can't breathe!'

'O, sorry 'mione. I'm jus' so 'appy to see ya.

She let a tear escape from her eyes, these were tears of happiness. She had missed Hagrid so much and was glad to see him.

'Don' cry 'mione, I'm sorry didn't mean to hurt ya.'

'No, it's not that. I'm just so happy to see you.'

She jumped up and gave him a hug. He was surprised by this, but responded. Dumbledore and McGonagal smiled behind her, this was the first time that they saw her happy. This was a good sign thought Dumbledore. If she saw all the people that loved her then maybe, just maybe this could bring her back.

'Hermione we must get back up to the castle.'

Coming out of the hug, she smiled at Hagrid.

'Ok, Hagrid are you coming to dinner tonight?'

'O, yes I am, I will see ya then 'mione. I'm so 'appy you're back.'

'I'll see you later Hagrid.'

They made their way back up to the castle. Hermione wiped away her tears and smiled. Seeing Hagrid made her happy. He had been there for her last year when nobody would talk to her. He had seen her cry over Harry and Ron and how they were treating her. He had helped her get rid of bruises after she got beaten up and had just been there for her when she needed someone. She owed Hagrid a lot.

Reaching the castle double doors, Hermione looked around the hall, she be lying if she didn't say she missed being here, but recently she wished that she was never accepted here.

She could hear a voice, it was telling her that she doesn't belong here. She didn't deserve to be around these people, she was a murderer.

'You are a murderer, you killed people and ruined innocent people's life, you don't deserve to live. You killed your parents.'

Hermione kept turning around scared, she wanted to know where this voice was coming from. Her breathing got heavier and she started to sweat. McGonagal noticed that she wasn't following them any more. She turned around to she a very distressed Hermione. Hermione put her hand over her ears and closed her eyes.

'Stop, Stop. I didn't mean to. I'm sorry I didn't mean it. Please stop!'

'Hermione, what is it? What's wrong?'

The voices faded and Hermione looked up at a very worried McGonagal and Dumbledore.

'I, I heard voices, I'm not sure where they were coming from, they kept telling me it was my fault my parents were dead.'

'Hermione, come to the dungeons, we can get some dreamless sleep potion for you, then you can get settled in your new room and if you want we can send a house elf with your dinner, unless you want to join us in the great hall?'

She didn't give a response, she just nodded. They helped her up, leaving her bags behind so a house elf could take them up for her. They lead her down a familiar path to her potion classroom. They stopped outside and Dumbledore knocked and walked in.

'Aahhh Albus, Minerva. I was just coming to find you, I wanted to talk –'

He stopped when she noticed that there were four people in the room instead of three, He stared at the young girl, something about her was familiar but he couldn't place it.

'Er, I'm sorry Dumbledore was there something that you wanted?'

'O, yes. Do you have any dreamless sleep potion in storage? If not I will check with madam Pomfrey.'

'Yes, I have some here. Can I ask why you want it?'

'Well Miss Granger has been quite distressed lately and I think it best for her to have a full nights sleep.'

'Miss Granger?'

Then it clicked, it was Hermione he saw. That's why the girl looked familiar because it was his saviour. She had changed a lot. But it didn't matter, she had saved him. She didn't know it but the night she came to the Riddle mansion, he was there. Under his masked he watched her enter the room and deflect the curse. He was impressed, He knew she would be powerful but never knew how much. When she sent a curse to all of the death eaters he was effected but he never died. It caused him great pain but it didn't kill him. He told Dumbledore this and he was told that it was probably because he was wasn't evil, and was a death eater for a good cause, to fight against evil not with it. His dark mark had vanished after the curse and it was his second chance. He owed her everything. He turned to face Hermione. He didn't no how long her stared at her, Dumbledore cleared his throat to get his attention.

'O, I'm sorry headmaster, I was lost in thought. Yes I'll get you that potion right away. How much do you want.'

He hadn't addressed the question to the headmaster or Hermione. But it was Dumbledore that answered.

'A week for now, but is it ok if Hermione comes and gets some more if she needs it?'

He turned to face Hermione.

'Yes of course, anything I can do to help, feel free to ask.'

He handed her the potions and they both smiled weakly.

'Thank you professor.'

'School hasn't started yet Hermione, feel free to call me Serveres.'

She didn't like the way he was treating her, This was the special treatement she didn't want. He had tortured her for six years and all of a sudden he was being nice.

'Why?'

'I'm sorry?'

'Why are you being so nice to me? I don't understand? After six years of misery why the sudden personality change?'

He looked at her and she had a confused expression on her face. She knew that it was rude but she was sick of being polite to people. She was sick of people being nice to her.

'Because Hermione, that night at the Riddle Mansion, instead of killing me, you released me. You saved me.'

She rolled her eyes, She was sick of this. She wasn't a hero, she was a murderer and then sooner people realised that the better.

'I only saved Ron and Harry that night. I killed 40 people.'

'Yes Hermione you did kill 40 people, I'm not doubting that fact. However what you do not know is that you killed 39 Death Eaters and the dark lord. I survived. You helped me survive. You saved me.'

Hermione thought about this, what if it was true. She did save him, but she had no proof, how would she know? Then as if he read her mind he pulled up sleeve where his mark used to be and now there was nothing, nothing that could prove that he was ever a Death Eater, it was like his past had been washed away. Hermione looked up at him. She did save him. An odd feeling came across her, she wasn't sure what it was but it was good. She thought to herself that maybe she wasn't as evil as she thought. A tear formed in her eye. It wasn't a tear of pain or sorrow, it was a happiness tear again.

'I, I'm not to sure what to say.'

'There is no need to say anything, I just want to tell you that I'm forever in your debt. Hermione once you get the dark mark you are bound to the dark lord forever. You have got me out of that and saved me from a life of prejudice. I can't always explain to people that I was a spy, and now you saved me I don't have to. You have given me a new start, a new life, and I thank you.'

That happiness faded away and she snapped back to reality, the reality where she was a murderer.

'Thank you prof- Serveres, it was very kind of you to say that. Even if I do not believe it my

self. I can not explain what happened that night and I can not explain what happened to you. One thing however I can explain is, I killed 40 people that night and that makes me evil. Anybody who kills another human is evil, regardless. Even if I did save you it doesn't change the fact 40 other people died. It doesn't make it anymore acceptable. I do not wish for people to think of me as their saviour or a hero because I am far from that. Thank you for the potion Professor Snape. Professor Dumbledore I will join you and the staff at dinner, I would like to discuss with you and Professor McGonagal what I would like to do next. Now if you will excuse me.

She turned and left the room, She didn't quite no where she was going to go, she thought about sitting by the lake to think, but it was cold out and she didn't have a cloak with her. She thought about the library. That used to be her sanctuary, it was also part of Hermione. She wasn't that person any more. She decided on the Gryffindor common room. She didn't realise that anyone was following her.

Dumbledore and McGonagal turned to Snape. Snape was confused, he hadn't seen Hermione like this and didn't understand.

'Did I say something wrong?'

'No Serveres you didn't. Hermione has been through a lot lately and is finding it hard to accept it all. A death eater found her yesterday in a club in Paris and she freaked out.'

'Do you know who it was?'

'Yes I do, He told her his name was Dray, and that his father made him get the dark mark. He told her that his father was dead. Serveres there is only one person it can be.'

'Malfoy? Really? Does she no?'

'No she doesn't, I don't think that she would take it very well. She is blaming her self for her parent's death and is telling herself that she is a murderer. He took her away from all her pain that night and made her forget everything, funny thing is they only knew each other 10 minutes.'

'Teenagers. You don't think that this is linked do you? I mean her power and Malfoy?'

'It is a possibility I dare say. She does not know of this Serveres and she cannot find out. Not yet. She won't accept the fact that she has a gift and has saved the wizard and muggle world. She is shutting herself out from everybody. I'm not sure what she is going to do next. Minerva she will probably go to Gryffindor tower, please show her her room and I will be there shortly, I need to talk to Serveres.'

With that McGonagal left the room and followed Hermione up to Gryffindor tower.

Hermione reached the portrait of the fat lady.

'O, Hermione! How good it is to see you! Welcome back! Are you back for good? You'll be famous you no, more that Harry Potter!'

'Shh, fairy wings.'

Hermione turned around to see an annoyed McGonagal. She pushed her through the portrait hole and into the common room.

'I'm sorry about that, portraits never no when to shut up. Well Hermione, Albus and I thought it best you have your own room, Its away from all of the people because you said you didn't want to face everyone. Is that ok?'

'You mean, so I'm not putting people in danger.'

'No Hermione that's not what I mean, I meant so you could have some privacy away from all the people asking you questions.'

'Ok, so where is my room?'

'O, it's just here actually, it's a hidden room, behind the picture of the Gryffindor Lion. I'll be back in a few minutes. Albus and I would like to talk to you before dinner, is that ok?'

'Yes that's fine, thank you.'

McGonagal turned and left the room, leaving Hermione in her thoughts. She looked around the room, this room was where she laughed and joked with her friends, she had her first kiss, and she cried and comforted people in this room. So many emotions flooded back. The arguments she had with Harry and Ron, the makeup's with them. She would never experience these again. She saw a picture of her in the corner of the room. She walked over and saw a note beneath it. Hermione Granger our true Gryffindor. We will always love you. With love - the Gryffindor's. They were acting as if she was dead. It was true though, she was acting as if she was dead to them, but then again Harry, Ron, Ginny, Lavender and Pavitil acted as if she didn't exists. Sighing she turned back to her portrait. Muttering to herself

'Now what will life throw at me this year? I'm sure ill get through it like I've got through all the other shit. Maybe just maybe I can have a little happiness? But I don't deserve to, so why should I? I just need to be on my own.'

The portrait swung open with her last words. She entered and saw that her room was very plain and her things had already been brought up. Closing the portrait she saw a note on the door.

Hermione, I wasn't sure of your tastes, so I charmed them. You just look at the piece of furniture you want to change and saw exactly what you want. Once you have finished I would like you to come back into the common room. Minerva will be waiting for you. – Albus.

Clever she thought. She put down the letter and looked around. She had a queen size four poster bed with drapes, next to her bed was a bedside table with a lamp. On the other side were two French windows that led onto a balcony, which overlooked the lake, Forbidden Forest and the Quidditch pitch. It was a beautiful site. She also had a chest-of-draws and a wardrobe. Next to the windows was a vanity table. Across the room was another door. She walked over and entered. It was a magnificent site, white and black marble tops. She had a shower and a huge bathtub. You could fit 10 people in it easily. After about 15minutes of changing the colours of the furniture, she admired her work. She had made all of her furniture black oak wood, with pink walls. Her drapes, curtains and bed spread were also pink, she had also put a black and pink fur rug on the floor. She put away all of her clothes and makeup away and sat and looked in the mirror. She looked healthier than she had done 3 weeks ago. Her tan was still there and her hair was looking very shiny. She decided to change, she had been in those clothes all day and night, she felt she had to change because she didn't have time for a shower. Pulling out a pair of tight black ¾ jeans and a white hoody and trainers, she quickly changed and took off her old makeup and lightly applied some 'natural look' eye shadow and lip-gloss. She left her room to find McGonagal waiting for her.

'Hermione, settled in ok?'

'Yes thank you, but it's too much, I don't deserve any of it. It's too much, honestly, I'd rather be in my old dorm room. It's not fair on everybody else.'

'Don't be silly. Now come, Dumbledore wants to see you in his office.'

They were making their way to the portrait hole when they heard shouting. They stopped in their tracks and faced each other. Hermione was scared.

A.N hey please tell me what you think! RnR

dark raven

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