A/N: Hey, I'm getting better with the updates, see?

Mira Black-Snape: Thank you hon :)

Chapter 9: You Won't Be Seventeen Forever

Violette woke up on April twelfth, two-thousand-and-three, eighteen and full of existential dread. She felt as if she should have it all figured out by now. Ray seemed to know what he was doing. She knew Jean and Scott surely had their futures planned out since kindergarten. Kurt wanted to take a gap year. Hell, Bobby knew what he wanted to study and he was a year below her. Most of them would be getting into colleges, but what about her?

She laid in bed for another twenty minutes, staring at the ceiling. Something seemed to be choking her, four words she didn't want to admit to herself.

Jean studied at NYU School of Medicine. Scott was studying Adult Learning & Leadership at Columbia, and what she was going to do after high school?

"I don't know" She whispered, getting that sudden, cold feeling in her chest. She looked at her alarm clock and sighed, knowing she had twenty minutes before she had to get ready for the morning training session. She decided to use that time to maybe be the first in line for the bathroom for once.

Her mother never did anything with herself and ended up dependent on an abuser.

The hot water pounding against her skin pushed the thoughts away, relaxing her aching muscles. The training she did with X-Force was three times harder than the one she got used to while in the New Mutants. She still felt like it was the two weakest links leading pros when it came to Alex and her. Wolvie could try as hard as he wanted to make it all feel organic, but they were still stuck with figuring out how to stop Pyro, Gambit, and Laura from trying to complete the simulations on their own.

"How's being eighteen?" Laura asked her as soon as she stepped back into their room.

Violette started to brush her hair and looked herself over in the mirror, willing to see any kind of change at all. She always imagined herself to be a bit more… grown up by the time she would be eighteen.

"Not that different from when I was fifteen" Her brush got stuck in a knot at the back of her head. She cursed under her breath and started to tug it out. "Have you ever thought about what you're going to do once you're an adult."

"There was only one option until recently."

Violette cursed herself for talking about the future with someone who never imagined they'd have one.

They stayed silent until they ran into St. John in the elevator.

"Feelin' ol' yet?" He smirked, bumping his shoulder into Violette's.

"A bit."

He tried to talk their ears off, but she opted to look straight ahead. When the elevator door opened her eyes immediately met Remy's.

"Bonne fête" He nodded, poking her side with his bo staff.

"What is it with men and inflicting bodily harm on someone's birthday?" She rolled her eyes, adjusting her top. "Merci."

Piotr gave her a birthday hug and Alex wished her less training sessions.

"No way, Casper" Of course Logan decided to walk in at that moment. Alex turned red and turned to face the wall. "But it is your eighteenth, so you choose the mode."

Jamie cornered Laura right after her training session.

"I need your help" He tried to focus on the problem at hand and ignore the part of him that wanted to focus solely on her. "I wanted to do something for Violet's birthday. Ray and Tabby are driving me to the mall after school, I need you to keep an eye on her at all times. I know you can do it and not be found out and that would mean a lot to me."

"Okay" Laura nodded and gave him a small smile upon seeing his huge grin.

"You're the best" He couldn't stop himself from hugging her and shivered when her arms wrapped around his waist. "I owe you one!"

Jamie untangled himself from her and waved, tripping over his own feet as he was rounding the corner and splitting in two.

Things between her and Kurt were still tense, so she certainly didn't expect him to barge into her room completely unannounced. Laura's crawls were at the ready and Violette shot energy out of the tips of her fingers faster than she could process the image of her boyfriend.

"Fuck!" She yelled as Kurt hissed, rubbing his arm. "Jesus, Kurt, it's a burn you're only making it worse!"

"Don't worry, fur got the most of it" He sighed. "Probably should've thought this through, ja?"

"With us being straight out of training? Definitely" She wanted to wrap her arms around him, bury her face in his chest and forget about any and all problems they had. She longed for the closeness she jeopardized by not trusting him to make his own decisions. It was stupid. It was childish. Of course, it was something she did. "Hi, by the way."

"Happy birthday" He leaned in and kissed her cheek, but there was underlying stiffness in the gesture. Violette locked eyes with Laura, whose brows furrowed as she grabbed her bag and walked to the door.

Great, bet he also reeks of misery.

"You promised you'd celebrate this one properly" Kurt's fingers on her shoulder kept creeping up as if to avoid accidentally touching the exposed skin on her arm. She knew that move. He used it before. "So, how do you feel about going out after school?"

She wanted to think of it as him extending a hand to her to mend things back together, but it wasn't like that. This was a duty, he felt as if he had to do it.

"I don't think I'm up for it" She gave him a sad smile. "'m not feeling well."

Something shone in his eyes before he nodded and turned on his image inducer. He gave her a smile and disappeared in a cloud of smoke.

Low blow.

She hoped Ray had a free spot in the van.

He didn't.

Violette opted to fly instead of taking the seat Rahne offered to her. It wasn't an awfully long journey, but just enough to make her tired. Ray and Jamie both sent her worried looks, but she turned invisible and flew off.

The wind against her face made her eyes water and she suddenly missed her old mask. It helped keep her eyes from drying out. It certainly didn't help with how she was feeling.

She noticed a newsstand right below her. Before she knew it, for the first time in her life she was buying cigarettes legally.

She welcomed the familiar taste, letting the motions of smoking calm her down.

When did my life turn back to shit?

The remaining walk to Bayville High was spent going through the pack and making sure to look around before she lit the cigarettes with small zaps.

She smoked four before stepping on campus and putting the pack safely in her pocket.

Laura was the first one to find her at school during the first recess between classes.

"You smoke?"

"I used to" The pack suddenly felt heavy in her pocket. "Don't tell anyone, okay?"

"Logan will know."

"I'm prepared for that" She sighed, stopping and turning to look at her roommate. "Did you want something?"
"You're feeling awful. And look like it."

"Thanks, you don't need to be this kind on my birthday" Violette raised her eyebrow. "Since when do you care that much about me?"

Laura's cheeks flushed and her mouth tensed. There was something there alright.
"Just talk to someone. I don't want our room to reek of misery."

Violette watched Laura disappear into the crowd of students before shaking her head and walking towards the girl's locker room.

She thanked God for the fact that Kurt has been excused from gym class indefinitely thanks to an imagined injury. The last thing she wanted to do was spend an hour looking at him while he worked out when things between them were this tense.

As soon as the next recess started, Violette flew to the bleachers while invisible, hoping that would be enough to keep away from her housemates.

As if to mock her, the universe placed Lorna in Violette's favorite spot underneath them.

"What are you doing here?" She asked the green-haired mutant, the grip she had on her pack tightening.

"Alex said he had no idea where you'd be, so I asked Kitty and she told me Kurt wouldn't know either and that I should ask Tabitha, she also had no idea but she mentioned that you used to be a smoker and that I should try the school's smoking spots."

"Fuck" Well, no need to hide it then. She took a cig out and lit it up, sighing. "Just don't tell them I'm doing this. And why would you be looking for me?"

"Sure" Lorna's eyes moved to Violette's sneakers. "I heard that you used to work for Magneto."

"No" Violette blew the smoke out, flicking the ashes off. "I worked for Mystique, who worked for Magneto, get your facts straight. Remy, Piotr, and St. John worked for Magneto. They know him way better than I do."

"You lived with my siblings."

Violette's hand froze on its way to put the cigarette back in her mouth.

"I used to room with Pietro" It was like a knife to the heart, the thought of her days in the Boarding House. The bond she formed with the boys, sullied by the woman who brought them together. "I've lived with Wanda for maybe two weeks. I'm not gonna talk about their lives, you can ask them yourself. Or go to Rogue, she can tell you about Pietro."

"I just want to know one thing" Lorna finally met her eyes and to her, the kid looked lost and way younger than she actually was. Violette could see the resemblance now – Pietro tried to keep his feelings bottled up inside, but his eyes always gave him away. Lorna was maybe more open with her feelings, but looking into her eyes felt like staring straight into her soul. Violette diverted her gaze. "Are they really… Evil?"

Something inside Violette broke and the question felt like a slap to her face. It was as if she was suddenly aware of where she was and how much time had passed. Why would she think that?

"You're scared of turning into your father" Violette answered her own question and didn't need to wait for Lorna's confirmation. Who gave her the idea that they're evil? Did someone talk about them behind my back? After all this time, after Apocalypse? "They're not. Never were. Don't worry, lack of both conscience and a soul isn't hereditary. Besides, they've got a more important thing on their plates than plotting the end of the world."

She didn't plan on saying more about them but chose to disclose something else.

"Jamie's father killed our mother" She never really acknowledged that. Everyone who was there at the Institute during her recovery knew that through the grapevine, including the Brotherhood. She didn't bother telling it to anyone since it was none of their business. She tried to think as little about her mother as possible and maybe that was finally catching u to her. She let go of the cig and stomped it out. "He is a fucking monster. And there's no way Jamie will grow up to be him."

Violette patted the girl's shoulder and made her way back to the school, leaving the pack behind.

Taking German as a foreign language seemed like the worst idea at the times when she wanted to forget about Kurt. Thank God none of her fellow students had even a hint of a god accent, otherwise, she'd surely be bawling by now. What was worse though, was having Home Economics with Kurt as her desk partner. Passive-aggressive cupcake baking resulted in Kitty-quality baked goods at best.

He was already standing next to the table when she arrived and gave her a tense smile. She refused to give one back, instead, ripping the textbook he was hiding behind out of his hands, not letting him protest before spilling what was running through her mind for the past week.

"I'm sorry, okay?" She sighed, setting the book next to her. "And I've told you I'm sorry numerous times. If that's not enough then tell me, but don't try to fake normalcy. I'm not an idiot."

He closed his mouth, his hands closing around the space where the book used to be as if he needed a crutch. Violette raised her brow, waiting.

"I don't need a mother" He finally said, looking her straight in the eye. "I've got plenty as we both know."

"And I'm sorry for that, but I can't help but constantly be worried about people I love" Although they both already said it before, the word somehow felt foreign after the week. "It's not that I think you're incapable of taking care of yourself, it's that I don't trust Mystique because I've known her for years. Hell, I've known her way longer than you do. I've been on the receiving end of her 'care', and when it came to it, we were alone, with nothing to fall back on. You weren't in Bayville when we had to come to the Institute because Todd was dying and there was no other place for us to turn. Although there was no way we'd have felt safe there. And I don't want that for you. Cause I feel like she's going to disappoint, hurt and leave you."

It was too much for a classroom. It was too personal, too raw. Before Kurt could say something, the teacher burst into the class, apologizing for being late.

The second the bell rang Kurt grabbed her arm to prevent her from fleeing. She didn't even notice the fact that that's what she was readying herself to do. Sharing her feelings felt like oversharing with every passing second of silence, and she was after an hour without a response. He knew her too well.

"Okay."

It's enough to lift the weight off her shoulders and make her relax.

"Maybe I'm feeling alright after all. Wanna go to Gut Bomb for lunch?"

He gave her a smile, this time a real one, and she felt as if she could breathe again.

Jamie felt anxious as he sat in the backseat of the X-Van. Tabitha was playing with the radio, still unsure whether she wanted to pick something from the stack of CDs stashed in the glove compartment. Ray looked ready to snap and just choose himself.

"So, Jamie" Ray glanced at him through the rear-view mirror for a second. "You have any idea what you want to get for her?"

Jamie's hand closed around his backpack, suddenly feeling shy and unsure about his idea.

"Y-Yeah" He nodded, doubt filling his guts. He needed to change the subject. "Tabby, what about A Flock of Seagulls?"
"Y'all are closeted New-wave lovers, you can hide behind your Radiohead but I know you boys secretly listen to Duran Duran" She giggled, taking the CD out of its casing and putting it in. "But I'm skipping to Space Age Love Song."

Ray sighed and rolled his eyes, but Jamie could clearly see the smile that was forming on his face.

Bobby watched as Violette tried to hide the enormous grin that appeared on her face when they all yelled surprise. They all knew the detached, cold demeanor was just an act, but she still put it up every once in while for some reason. He watched as she turned around to face Kurt and how his eyes lit up when they met hers. The pure adoration visible on his face. He could see the same look on Sam's face whenever he looked at Rahne, hell, he could see it on Scott's face whenever Jean was around. He turned to look at Jubes, really look at her, and found nothing. She was his best friend of course, but the longer he looked at her, the more he realized there was never a time when he wanted to do anything with her they already weren't doing. Never even thought of kissing her. He did love her, but it was the same love he had for his brother – unconditional, but platonic.

So why was I so bent on dating her?

He didn't feel ready to answer that, so he just cheered when his ex-teammate blew out the candles.

"I got you something" Jamie let out a huge breath, before shoving the album into her hands. "I may have stolen some of your private photos but it was all for a good cause I swear!"

Violette swallowed the lump that formed in her throat, caressing the cover. It was cheesy to give her something that was purple in color, but it was from Jamie so she loved it even more, knowing it came from a place of love. She was stalling, knowing that what was inside could bring back the same thoughts she had in the morning. What was worse, it could make her think about her parents. Since Jamie was suddenly thrust back into her life, she rarely thought about them. She knew they were gone, so it seemed pointless to think about them, there was nothing she could do to save them now. That train of thought seemed heartless, but she did what she had to do in order to keep her heart intact. She never even gave it a passing thought that she was officially an orphan.

She knew her mother would understand, cause that's the type of woman she was – understanding, full of unconditional love. She didn't bat an eye when her daughter started to float above the ceiling. She didn't even look surprised. Maybe there was a history of mutants in her family, but Violette had no way of knowing it now.

She had no idea what her father would think of it all. She barely remembered him, the hazy image of a man, surely influenced by the photo she had of him, talking to her being her only memory.

And sure enough, the first picture that greeted her was the one she had with her father. It looked beaten and ancient against the stark white page of a new photo album. She let her pointer finger brush against the face of a man she never had the chance to really know.

"There are some newer ones too" Jamie stepped closer to her and skipped a few pages, but her eyes still found the photograph she also kept with her through the years. She used to look at it every night, quietly apologizing. But now Jamie was no longer five and stood as tall as her, ready to grow even more.

He stopped on a page with a photo of her previous team unwinding at the pool. She stood next to Ray, both of them standing with their arms crossed over their chests and giving Roberto judging looks as he flexed. The sentence written below was the thing that grabbed her attention first, though.

'Sometimes it seems like Ray is her actual long-lost brother. May 2002'

It was written in French.

Her eyes were immediately wet and any words of thanks she had disappeared.

"How?"

"Remy's been helping me" Jamie pointed at the man standing next to them, no doubt eavesdropping on their conversation. "Wait, let me think… We became friends."

Violette wrapped her arms around her brother, a huge smile on her face. Remy helpfully took the album out of her hands, so she could give Jamie a better hug.

"You're the best brother I could ever hope to have."

"I mean I know a bit, but that was way too fast."

She laughed, squeezing him once more before taking a step back and lunging herself into Remy's unsuspecting arms.

"Merde!" He instinctively caught her, chuckling. "No need t'jump me, Violette. Doubt your boyfriend will appreciate that, hm?"

"Is this not bothering you at all?"

Rogue glanced up from the cup of soda she was nursing to see Violette and Remy hug and chuckle about something with Jamie right next to them.

"No" She shook her head and looked at her brother. "Should it?"

"Come on, he's a total flirt!" Kurt huffed and sat next to her on the couch.

"Yeah" There was no going around that, she knew it. It was Remy's natural state, for God's sake some of the aspects of his mutations were light subliminal suggestions and strong empathy, he was born a great flirt. But she also knew there was more bark than bite behind his words. "But it's Violette. He's not into your girlfriend if that's what you're worried about."

They could both hear them exchange some words in French.

"Are you worried he's got more in common with her than you?"

She hit the nail right on the head. Kurt averted his gaze.

"Well, they do" She shrugged. "Both part Cajun, French-speaking, knew each other briefly when they were kids, villainous past, now are a part of the same team. Thing is, that's a bit too much for anything beyond a platonic relationship in my opinion. Plus they'd drive each other crazy."

"You can't know that."

"Oh, I'm positive" Rogue drank the remaining contents of her cup in one go and turned towards him. "She loves you a lot, Kurt."

"This past week made me wonder whether it's enough" He sighed, running his hand over his face. "She just runs blindly after me. What if I was actually in danger? I know it was actually your idea, but you're not her."

"I think you two are way too worried about each other right now" She patted his shoulder. "And you still haven't told me why I should be bothered by Remy being a flirt."

"Oh come on, Rogue" Kurt rolled his eyes. "I'm foreign, not stupid."

"Violette" Sam's head popped out from behind the corner. "A call for ya."

Her eyebrow rose as she excused herself from the conversation. She took the phone out of Sam's hands and pressed it to her ear.

"Yeah?"

"Happy birthday, V" She could feel her throat close up. "Bet you didn't see that coming."

"No" She chuckled. "How's Luna?"

"Oh, she's great" She could hear Pietro saying something away from the phone. "Heard you two ran into each other."

"Yeah, she probably wouldn't remember."

"Nah, she does" She could hear his smirk. "Actually, she's got something to say to you, don't you, Luna?"

"'Appy birday!" Violette could feel tears well up in her eyes. Could it possibly mean that she was forgiven for leaving them? At least a bit?

"Thank you, sweetheart" She smiled, looking at Kurt, who was currently talking to Rogue about something.

"So, Violette" Pietro was back on the phone and suddenly there was obvious restraint in his voice. "I've been talking to the guys and maybe… You'd like to come by sometime? Meet Luna properly and all that. Maybe next week?"

"Yeah, I'd love that. And thanks."

"No problem, see ya, V."