Tears of a confused mind.

Chapter 14: Planning.

Disclaimer: I own nothing of the Harry Potter series! I wish I did but I don't.

A.N thanks to everyone who reviewed.

Last time:

'Albus I'm with Minerva on this. What if she doesn't come around and runs again? She saved our world once but if she doesn't figure things out then that's it, bye bye to our world!'

'I'm aware of the implications Severus, but I have faith in our saviour.'

And on with this chapter...

Hermione woke up with the rays of sunlight streaming through her curtains. To her it was the calm after the storm. Usually when you do something like she did last night you feel as if a weight had been lifted off your shoulders, but not for Hermione, she felt a crushing weight on her chest and had to fight the urge to brake down and cry, as if somebody she loved had died.

Confused, she opened her eyes and looked around, everything seemed normal enough, then last nights events came back to her, did I do the right thing? God I hope so. She stretched and climbed out of bed, unaware of what today's events have in store for her. She looked over at the clock on her unit; it read 8:33. Shit i've got less than half-hour before the meeting. She ran into the bathroom and turned the shower on, oblivious to the fact that in the next room someone else was awaking.

Groan. Why does it have to be so God dam bright? Don't people know that I feel miserable? Draco wished he didn't have to get up today, he felt like shit and he had a mood to match. There was nothing that could cheer him up, nothing that could lighten the mood of a man scorned. He groaned again and rolled out of bed, he decided not to have a shower and went over to his wardrobe and picked out a pair of black karki trousers and a black jumper. Black the colour of mourning. That's how he felt, last night a piece of him died when she abandoned him. He only hoped that he could make her change her mind. Let her sleep on it and maybe just maybe she could change her mind for him. Hope. He left his room and went down to the common room.

Hermione stepped out her shower and went into her bedroom. With the towel wrapped around her she made her way to her wardrobe. Today was the first of September. The first day of school. Great, this is all I need. She picked out a pair of tight fitting denim blue jeans, a black jumper and a pair of black ballet shoes. She pulled her hair into a messy bun and left the makeup. She glanced at the clock and saw it read 8:53. She ran from her bedroom and into the common room, to notice at the same time the Draco had left his room.

She looked at him and didn't know what to say, he too couldn't bring himself to say anything

The silence was getting too much for Hermione.

'We have a meeting at nine.'

'Yeah I know, thanks.'

I can't do this; it's too soon to play it cool. That hurt look in his eyes is just too much. How can I do this?

She turned to the portrait hall and fled.

'Maya wait!'

But it was too late she was gone, from the room, from his life. No, I'm not letting her go that easily. He ran from the common room after her.

She didn't turn back, she couldn't. Wouldn't. She carried on walking down the corridor until she reached the main doors. She heard hurried footsteps behind her, she knew they were from Draco but didn't dare look round.

'Maya, Stop.'

(New point of view)

'So you're telling me, that when you spoke to her yesterday you didn't even try to change her mind?'

'My dear professor Sprout, what was I supposed to say? 'Child, you must stay with Mr Malfoy, the whole world depends on it?' No I have faith, so should you; she's a smart girl. She'll come around.'

'Albus, you have to make her see, today the whole school comes back, that is going to be hard for her, she needs someone -'

' - Shh, she's coming.'

The professors sat at the high table looking out at the double doors; they could see the figure of Hermione and could hear someone calling her name. They watched in anticipation as her saviour grabbed her elbow and spun her round. Groans were heard from the table.

'That's going to loose him points. Said Professor Sinster. Shouldn't have man-handled her.'

She was right, the second the he pulled her she spun around with a look that said 'fucking-touch-me-like-that-again-I'll-rip-your-balls-off.' He let go and looked at the floor. None of the professors could hear what the pair was saying but it didn't stop them from watching. The two top students in Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, saviour to one another were essential in each other's lives, yet only one of them could see it. The other, she was blinded by guilt, shame and suffering to notice the bond between the two former rivals.

They could see from the body language and facial expressions, that Draco was determined to get her to change her mind while she looked at him with eyes that read uninterested and unconcerned, but beneath that she looked at him with longing and desire. She masked her true feelings well but not well enough.

Draco flung his hand towards the professors, which caused Hermione to look towards them; they busied themselves, acting as if they weren't watching them. They caught the last of the 'meeting' between the two. Draco had grabbed her hands, Hermione couldn't meet his eyes, and she simply pulled away, shook her head and walked away into the hall, leaving him to watch her. Her eyes were glistening with tears, but she held her head high and wouldn't let show. The teachers groaned again, they had hoped he could changer her mind, but no feat.

(Normal with Hermione & Draco)

'Maya, Stop.'

Draco caught up with her and grabbed her elbow; he knew straight away that that was a mistake. She spun around and had a look on venom in her eyes. They softened however when she saw the look of sorrow in his eyes.

'Yes Malfoy?'

'Since when am I Malfoy?'

'Since I decided I can't be around you.'

'Maya look, I can't stand this. How can I honestly let you go? You have no idea how much you mean to me, and I can't be around you and not be with you, it's to hard.'

'You're going to have to try -'

'- No, I won't. Why can't you just do something for you for a change and not what you think best? Do what your heart tells you not what your head does.'

'Please, I've made my mind up.'

'Then change it. Don't distance your self away from your friends, from your teachers. They all care about you.'

Draco pointed to the head table. Her eyes followed his hands and she saw that the teachers were all watching intently.

'I care about you, don't distance yourself away from me.'

Draco reached out for her hands and held them in his.

'Dray, if I let myself be with you you'll get hurt, is that what you want?'

'I want you. I love you.'

'No you don't. You think you love me but you don't. If you love me then they will get you. If you love me then leave me alone.'

She turned away from him, eyes shimmering with fresh tears. She hoped and prayed that he would understand this time. She just couldn't do this anymore. She entered the hall and was met with disanointed faces. They all wanted the two of them to sort it out but she couldn't, it wasn't the smart thing to do. She sat down next to Dumbledore and was followed in by Draco who sat on the other side of Dumbledore.

'Great, now that everyone is here, please help your selves to the food.'

He clapped his hands and the table filled with food. Bacon, eggs, toast, cereal, milk, juice, jams, peanut butter, muffins, tea, coffee, and fruit, everything you could want for breakfast. The professors all filled their plates, but Hermione had lost her appetite. She grabbed a blueberry muffin and some tea and waited for the meeting to begin.

'OK now that we all have food, shall we proceed? Good, before we begin does anyone want to say anything?'

This was Hermione's cue to apologise, she raised her hand and Dumbledore nodded to her.

'I would just like to apologise for my behaviour yesterday, it was totally uncalled for and was not how a head girl should conduct her self. I do not have a justified reason for it, and I'm sorry. Professor McGonagal, I would just like to say personally to you that I am sorry for my rude behaviour, you've been nothing but good to me and I threw it back in your face. I'm sorry and it will not happen again.'

'That's ok my child, you were upset we can all understand that.'

'Thank you professor McGonagal.'

'Ok, now that that is sorted, I think we left yesterday at the idea of a welcome back ball? Any suggestions?'

Hermione looked around the room and nobody raised their hands, she however did have an idea.

'What about a masquerade ball?'

Everyone around the room looked confused. Whispers of 'what's that?' and 'huh' were heard. She rolled her eyes; of course they wouldn't have heard of it, it's a Muggle thing.

'I take it it's a Muggle thing, ok, well a masquerade ball is when all the participants were masks to conceal their identity. You don't have to turn up with a date and when you get there you can dance with whom every you want. It will save the embarrassment of finding dates and it could build house unity and people won't know who they are dancing with until then end when everyone reveals who they are.'

Murmurs of agreement went around the table. Most people seemed impressed with the idea of that. Dumbledore smiled warmly down at her.

'I think that's an excellent idea! What about decorations?'

Again nobody raised their hands. This is stupid, they're teachers! Do I have to think of everything?

'Well it's another Muggle thing, but we could base it on the Ballet swan lake. We could hold it outside and decorate the lake and surrounding area.'

'Do you know what sort of decorations we would need?'

'Well yeah, I saw the play a few Christmas's ago with my mum-'

She forgot she saw it with her mum. That was one of the last days that they actually spent the day together on their own. That was the day she saw the dress and fell in love with it. That was a painful memory for her.

Everyone in the room shifted uncomfortably, how could they respond to that?

'Yeah well that was along time ago. We could have swan ice sculptures around the lake, fairy lights in the trees and bushes, We'd need a dance area and some secluded benches around the grounds. You could make some ice paths. I'm sure I could find some pictures for you.'

'That is an excellent idea Herm- Maya. I love the house unity idea and just to re-enforce that, I think that the two heads should go together, just to give it a push start. It would look great if a Gryffindor and a Slytherin went together don't you think?'

'Well-'

'Great!'

The Professors smirked at the expression that their faces held. Dumbledore was a crafty man. This is great, it will bring them closer.What is he playing at! He knows the deal with Dray, and me I can't believe he would do something like this!

'O goodness look at the time, we have to prepare for the student's arrival. Draco, Maya feel free to do as you wish, but make sure you are here at 6 o'clock for the feast. Thank you.'

All the teachers seemed to rush out of the hall, leaving Hermione and Draco alone.

'Maya?'

'Yes Malfoy?'

'Can we talk? Outside?'

'I don't know -'

'- I just want to talk, I promise.'

'Erm, ok.'

The two of them left the great hall together. They didn't say anything to each other until they were outside by the lake.What does he want? I've said everything that needs to be said, nothing else matters.

'Bit of a shock about the ball huh? I mean us going together-'

' - Dray, please tell me what you wanted.'

'Ok, look, I can understand where you are coming from about not wanting me to get hurt, but-'

'-No Dray no buts-'

'-Listen to me. We're heads we have to show the younger ones that we are mature and responsible and all of that, and how is it going to look if the head girl is totally ignoring everyone especially head boy? That's why I think, that we should just be friends. Just friends. I support any decision you want to make and I just want to be there for you, boyfriend or friend. Please? I can't loose you completely. I care for you too much to watch you do that. Please just don't shut me out entirely.'

'I-I-I don't k-k-know what to say. Can I think about it?'

'Sure, just don't take to long.'

'Ok.'

With that Draco got up and made his way up to the castle feeling a lot better. Hermione watched him leave and for some reason she felt - happy. She smiled at him and watched out over the lake. Friends. Maybe that could work. If I can't do it completely might as well have someone I trust around me. But how can I do that to Harry and Ron. They'd never understand. But the Seer Script as well, this is supposed to happen. Maybe just one-step at a time. Please understand.

Well readers what did you think? PLEASE REVIEW! I love to know what people think.

Special thanks to my beta aki! Luv ya aki!

Raven

-x-

seriously thr next chapter will be better